Seeking Advice on Sleeping Problems

There's a book by Elizabeth Pantley called "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers." I've not read the toddler version, but the one for babies helped me tremendously. If you can't find it, let me know and I'll send a link. It's a gentle approach to solving sleep issues. It lets you set the pace.

Hi J., my name is M.. My mom gave me this advise and it worked wonders for my 2-1/2 little girl who began hating going to bed one day. After her bath and milk we lay in bed together and read a book. After I shut the door she started poping out of bed.

So now we use "sleepy spray". I got some old perfume I don't use anymore (Febreeze or room spray would work too). My husband I and I made a huge deal about "sleepy spray". We all got a spritz and made big yawny motions. She started doing the same. So now when we use sleepy spray she doesn't get up anymore. We don't have to use it every night anymore, but it still comes in handy. Give it a few nights. Good luck!

hello, i'm having the same problem. my daughter is 3 1/2, she'll be four in october. she is doing the exact same thing. she has to fall asleep with me or, if she does happen to fall asleep on the couch i put her in her room. through the middle of the night she will wake up and come to sleep with me and my husband. i've been told to continue to take her back to her room. i'm exhausted, it's not working because she'll end up right back between us. have you tried anything different?

My son will be 3 next month and he slept with my partner and I until he was about 2 1/2 (co-sleeping worked for us). He is also very attached to me but to our surprise one night he just told us he wanted to sleep in his own bed. I offered to lay down with him until he fell asleep (he has a full size bed) and we let him know that if he wanted to come back into our bed if he needed to he could, but that there was nothing to be afraid of in his bed. We repeated this whole routine everynight and from that point on that was our bedtime ritual. I think in part our success with transitioning our son into his own bed/room was just luck and in part it was because we didn't pressure or push him into it...
On nights when my partner and I felt frustrated with or second guessed our decision to co-sleep we reminded ourselves to cherish this time; that he wasn't going to be little for long and soon he'd be big and want his space and we'd be longing for that quiet time and closeness with him.

Hi i am sorry to hear you are having problems with your 3 year old. She is clinging to you for a reason.One has to find out just what it is.Does she have a dad to spend time with her?Is she your only child? Do you spend quality time with her? Do you take her to places & events? I hear tell build a bear is a wonderful place.Taking a 3 year old out for ice cream can be a treat.She will have special time to look forward to at the end of the week.She needs you right now to lay with her that is fine you must make time in your schedule,I would suggest getting her very tired during the day.She should run & play, nap @ day care.After dinner bath time can be fun & exciting playing with different bath toys, also it will relax her.Talk with child care provider is she getting enough attention? do they have time to hug her to sing to her,to play with her,that could very well be what is happening,she does not get enough ttention during the day & demands your attention in evening.One needs to ask about changes in the home.it is a difficult time for her talk with her love her reasure her you will always be there for her.Have patience in time this too will pass.In my child care i know my little girl has went through emotional time when parents seperated,she was almost potty trained,then she started wetting on self again & now can't get her back to the before point,it is a combination of geting attention,and not knowing what is happening,she could be thinking because Daddy left you too might leave her. bring her gifts even if it is a ball, tell her you wer thinking she would like this gift because you love her soooo very much!!!would be nice if htey came with instructions! Mom to 5 of my own & child care specialists for 25 + years.

I hope this helps, if not, it may be fun anyway. You will need...Poster board, siccors, velcro, and either printed pictures, or some cut from a magazine, or some colored by your child, for the following...
Bath, Potty, Toothbrush, Wash hands, or other parts of prebedroom activities. Have one posterboard cirle with the words (you can do it) on top, and one with (You did it) on top. Place vecro on these, either strips, or squares. Each activity she completes have her move the picture. When she is done in the bathroom, you move to another in the bed room, or put it all together in the hall. On the bedroom, put her PJ's, and book, and any other you do before bed, and do the same. Or, you could just put up a strip with the picteres already where they go in the order they should be done, and she can move a picture of a teddy or baby doll, down the line until she gets to the part where you have done it all but the sleep in her own be. When she puts this picture or marker in it's place, have her walk with you to her bed, hug her and say a few loving words, then walk out. By the time she gets to the bed, she may be excited to sleep on her own. Repetition is the key. If she gets up, just put her back, again and again. Don't give up. It will work out.

Before bed...about an hour or so prior, start getting her ready to settle down for the night. We tell our grandson, who is three also, that it is time for "quiet time". He is ok with that as long as we don't refer to it as bed time. Also, start a sticker reward system with her. Every night she goes down for "quiet time" without making a fuss...then she gets a sticker. Give her special outings or trinkets when she reaches the lucky number 7 sticker. This means she went to bed 7 days in a row by herself.

T.

My daughter (3 too) sleeps in a full size bed in her room. That way, if she needs me, I can sleep with her or at least lay down with her until she falls asleep. Also, give her lots of pillows or even a body pillow. My daughter likes to sleep on top if two pillows put together. I guess it reminds her of laying on me when she was little. Also, give her one of your pillows or spray some purfeme (or something that you smell a lot like, I used my hubby's deodorant spray) on her pillows so she can smell you.

My 22-month old was exibiting a similar pattern.
What I had to do is just put her in bed and leave the room.
She cried pretty hard the first time, but then realized
that I wasn't coming back and she had to go to sleep.
It's hard to do the first couple of times, but it works.

There is a book out there called "Heatlhy Sleep Habits/ Happy Baby" and it was the most BORING book, but great for me and my child's sleep patterns! Don't lay in bed w/her b/c she will expect it regularly! My son is a great sleeper and napper! It helps to have a defnite routine so she knows what to expect every night. After dinner, get her into pj's, brush herteeth...they say ok, 15 more minutes (Or whatever..you get the idea). They need time to wind down, so we read books quitely with the lights low and then say "goodnight" to all the stuffed animals and then it's lights out. She may cry the first few nights, but she'll survive. Good LUCK! Stick to your routine, you'll be glad you did!

J.:

Your daughter is old enough (3 years) to have her own place to sleep. Create a nighttime ritual that allows your daughter some time to get used to falling asleep. For example, read a bedtime story that your daughter chooses. After the story has been read to her by you, let your daughter have soothing lullabye music to listen to before bedtime. Allow your child to read quietly in bed by herself, but tell her that she must stay in her own bed and quietly read. If she gets out of bed and comes to you, ask her if there is any problem (especially if there is a storm outside and she is scared or if she really is feeling ill). Soothe her fears if she is scared. If she isn't sick or scared, take her back to her bed, kiss her on the forehead and say it is time for her to sleep. Good night! You may have to repeat the pattern of returning her to her room until she understands that sleep is in her own room. Good luck!

A. D.

Ok K., I'm a K. too. I have b&g twins and my son slept with us until 15months of age. But we also didn't mind it until he grew.

(I wrote all this thinking your son was 6Months. 6 weeks is easier- no pillows though, instead use swadling blankets.)

Try: (The baby should sleep in another room)
1. falling asleep with your son in his room a floor a futon matress works well.

2. Sleep with his blankets, pillows, animal, whatever you are keeping in his crib.

3. do the above for 3 nights, then on the fourth night start moving him into his own crib. When he wakes up, consistently pick him up and rock him til he stops or bring him back to bed and put him back in his crib for as long as it takes. this can happen over and over again all night long. Stay up all night long and do not change the next day's routine. On your fifth night you will have won the battle because he will be too tired to fight and so will you.

4. bed training will still continue- consistently be there for him. but be consistent on bed time, that he is in his room, that he sleeps in his crib, but you can snuggle and pick him up if he fusses but you have to stay in his room after bed time.

5. At 15 months I figured out that if i just listened to soft music and rocked him that eventually he just got that he wasn't leaving and willing went to bed.

On Subsequent Nights: I suggest a bedtime routine, for us,
its bath, playtime, book or bottle, brush teeth, soft music, bed time (9:00pm). It is okay for them to cry for a while as long as they are not sucking air and becoming hysterical it also wears them out. Stand your ground the less you go in the easier it will be tomorrow night.

Sometimes my son still wants to sleep with us and he is also a twin so from conception he hasnt been alone. His Dad doesnt seem to mind so much on those nights and I sleep on the couch and will move him in the middle of the night.

There are many different methods to bed training. This has been ongoing for me and it seems to only get better and you will eventually sleep again.

(I wrote all this thinking your son was 6Months) 6 weeks is easier- no pillows though, instead use swadling blankets.

hello well my son is now 3 and we have had alot of sleeping problems with him! I have two kids that are 16 mos apart and when we moved into our current apartment he was about2 1/2 and it was time for him to transititon to the toddler bed. Now he was only attched to me and nothing else so basically I explained to him what we were doing and everytime he got up I just put him back in bed. It was exhausting. The first few days we would allow him in our bed after a few hours of sleep if he woke up. Now we did something bad however we allowed him to have a sippy with milk which we broke that habit about 2-3 mos ago! He just turn 3 and sleeps in his bed consistantly! We made alot of mistakes with him so it was a long process. So basically he cried and screamed alot when we were doing it and I just tried to stay calm throughout it all.

Hi J.,
I have the same problem with my son. He still sleeps with my husband and me. I tried this too late, but someone told me to make the room a really fun place; star stickers on the ceiling, and talk it up days in advance like it will be very exciting to sleep in there. If it doesn't work at first, it might happen later. Good luck! T.

hi, my son will be 3 next Friday, he slept with me for a loooong time, then we put him in a toddler bed about 3 feet away from my bed, if he woke in the night I was there and tried to get him to stay in his bed but if not, then back in with me, (I too needed sleep) but he would always start in his bed. then last week I moved his bed into his room, he fell out one night and cried but other than that he has done really well! Maybe get her a new" big girl " pillow case, small stuffed toy or new "big girl"sheets something to entice her to want to be a big girl even if you have to start her in your room first.My son was in our room (in his bed) for almost a year. I know some of you frown upon that but in our family we do what works for us. I will admit every 3 months or so I would try him in his own room, I wanted mommy daddy time too. this time it worked. Good luck,

By the way I keep seeing others write dh, when reffering to their husbands (I think) what does it mean? maybe I'm alittle behind times in chat lingo.

My 3 year old niece cannot fall asleep without her mom right theere. When I had to put her to sleep on her own, this is what we did. I read 2 books to her and then told her to have quiet time by herself for a little while. I left her reading the books, but she fell asleep on her own before I came back.