Help! Traveling Hubby Causing Severe Anxiety!

My husband travels often. He is gone about 14 days a month..sometimes less. The key is to have them spend one on one time together and then prepare her for his absence days before he leaves. My husband will pick her up earlier at daycare and they will go to the Barnes n Noble or some special outing. He also has a routine with our daughter every night. He sings her the same song every evening and when he is not home he calls in and I put him on speaker and he sings to her.

Every child is different but I find that if you explain to her when he is leaving ....what he will be doing on his trip and that daddy is going to bring her back a special gift from his travels....I guarantee she will be ok with him leaving. My husband always brings her back a trinket....a t-shirt...a magnet etc.

Good luck,

Hi,
I would try to find out where she got the idea that she is the cause of him not being there. She is thinking of herself as a pretty powerful person that she could cause him to go away. This "magical thinking" is pretty normal for this age, but her response seems a little strong. I am wondering if she is picking up on any feelings you might be having about your husband traveling? You'd be surprised at how much children pick up on what we are feeling.

Next time your husband can give her a transitional object-something of his that he says is very important to him and he could ask her to hold onto it until he gets back-a key chain, a handkerchief, even a t shirt. For the rest of this trip she might want to have something of his to sleep with-again, even a t shirt might do the trick.
For this trip you can mark on a calendar every day that goes by so she can see something concrete and let her mark it herself each day. She could also make a card for him every day-a picture of how she is feeling and you could write the words for her of what she wants to say.
I think (speaking as a psychotherapist) she is a little young for a group-maybe if it gets really bad you two could go for some family therapy and some play therapy for her. Also she maybe needs to understand the concept of "work" and what daddy does for his job-I don't know if he has an office she could go and see. Good luck.
L. Schnall, LCSW-R

Can you install web cam, so she can see him and talk to him daily?

@ 2.5 years, she is suggestive to any changes in her life. Severe separation anxiety is normal, though not easy from a moms perspective. Don't feed into her anxiety, remain calm and constant, do as you are doing and this phase will pass.

Just an FYI, I grew up much like your daughter. My dad was away for sometimes months at a time in remote places like India, Saudi Arabia and Columbia. During that time, the world was a much larger place and we had very littlle contact with him other than through his office. I consider my childhood absolutely normal, with no issues or stresses caused by my fathers traveling. My mother was and still is the steadying force, as you need to be.