Family Size - Azle,TX

I have 3 boys and love it.

I had my first son when I was 39. We brought home son #2 (adopted) when I was...oh..44 or 45 (I am losing count:). My husband and I had always said we wanted 3 but I had just had a lovely week with our oldest and my husband had just carried a screaming scared baby on a 17 hour flight. SO we agreed to stop at two at that point.

AND...within the week, I realized I was pregnant. Son 3 definitely completes our family. I can't explain it but...it just is. Other than the first few months, I haven't found 3 to be all that much harder than 2 (though 2 is a LOT harder than 1). The hardest part is that sometimes one is crying and has to wait while someone else's more immediate need is being met. While, as a parent, that is tough, I don't think it's a bad thing for kid's learn that, even if they are hurting, they don't always have priority.

My oldest was 4 when his first little brother came home and 5 when the next was born. He had a hard time for about a year and a half...but now he can't really remember life without them (he's 6 and a half now). He's a proud brother.

I say do what feels right for you. Many people will comment on finances...and college...and so forth. I put myself through college and it's not the worst thing in the world. The main thing is that your kids are fed, warm, clothed, and loved. If they have that, they can handle the rest if they have to.

I have one and that is perfect for us. I am one of three (the oldest with one sister and one brother). That seems to work as well. I don't think there is a perfect family size. I also work FT outside the home. There is no reason for you to feel guilty about that. You are teaching your kids that both of their parents can be good parents and professionally fulfilled adults as well. This is a great lesson for both boys and girls to learn. When they are adults, they will know that it is ok to do both.

We have four and, for us, it's perfect. We're happy. They're happy. Life is good.

And I give thanks every day for being so very, very blessed.

BTW -- as a mom who used to work outside the home and now works just as hard but doesn't get paid, I agree with the poster who said to not sweat that you're a working mom instead of a SAHM. Really. Nobody's business but your family's.

Take the "I work" factor out of your equation. That is inane and anyone who trots out the "why have children if you are not going to raise them" (or something similar) line should be dismissed from your consideration. I hate it when mamas back-stab their sister-mamas.

Do you and your DH have the love, the physical energy, the financial wherewithal, a strong marriage, and the mental stamina to have another child?

If the answer is yes, then you really are blessed and sharing your blessing with another soul would be great.

My DH and I would like a 3rd. But ALL of our resources (mental, physical, emotional, financial) are maxed out and so we know having another is not the right thing to do. Plus, I am really looking forward to be a smoochy, lovey-dovey couple again. If we had another now, it would be another 14-18 yrs 'til my DH and I got to return to our sweetheart days.

I felt the same way when we were talking about having our third but we ultimately decided to do so. We had 2 boys and ended up having a little girl. She is definitely a blessing dont get me wrong....I have no regrets but I am too the max of what I can handle. There are some days where Im not sure if Im going to be able to handle it because of the chaos. My children are 5,3 and 1 so they probably has a lot to do with it. I think you really need to assess your situation. My husband has a vasectomy done after we had our daughter because we knew our family was complete. We were ready for the next stage in our life. We were ready to sleep through the night again, go on family vacations without having to worry about whether this one was old enough or taking a baby on the beach. We wanted to be able to go away for a weekend and not worry about leaving a baby behind that needs to nurse. We just want to enjoy our family....our 3 wonderful amazing children that we have.

If you feel that your family is perfect and complete then I say if it aint broke dont fix it. But if feel that you need another child to feel whole then you should do that....no regrets. Im sure you would love another child whether it worked for your family or not but making the decision that is best for you and your family is whats important! Sending lots of hugs your way. Good luck with your decision <3

I think everyone has said you have to do what is right for you. I don't think anyone would say they regretted having #3, but personally I knew I would regret not having her - and I felt the same for our #4. I think you know in your heart when you are done.

My first child is a boy. When I found out my second would be a girl, I felt like "Cool! One each. I'm done!" Then when my little girl was only 13months old, I got pregnant again. Oops! I cried and cried because I HATED being pregnant and was already so exhausted with having two high-maintenance children (my son eventually got diagnosed with autism and some other fun things, and my daughter was a teenager from birth, and their early years were very difficult). So having a third was NOT something I wanted at all. But have her, we did. And now, I can't imagine NOT having her. In hindsight, going from 2 to 3 was an easier transition than going from 1 to 2. She and her sister are less than 2 years apart. They play with the same stuff, read the same books, watch the same TV shows, in short, we have a constant playdate at our house. Sure, they fight, and certainly, they drive me crazy. But for the most part, they are best friends and if things continue the way they are, they will be best friends as adults, too. I have a sister myself (also a brother, but he's much younger) and cherish my adult relationship with her (we fought like cats and dogs as kids, though), so it's very heartwarming to see my girls following the same path. Sometimes I feel like it would have been MUCH easier having only two (considering all the stuff we've been through with my son and his issues, plus, I've been learning, the world is built for a family of four, hotel rooms, restaurant tables, cars, "family memberships" to various things, it's all for a family of 4), and sometimes I feel like my son got gypped, not having a brother. But he's kind of a loner anyway and this way, the girls entertain each other and don't bother their big brother too much. I'm glad we ended up with three. My family is perfect for us. My husband is one of three, as am I, so maybe it was fate that we also had three. But if we'd only had two, THAT would have been perfect, too. Whatever you end up with is what's perfect for YOU.

You only know what is the right choice for your family. I have 3 kids and like you I had 1 of each , but my family didn't feel complete (I felt this fairly soon after the second was born) and knew that we would have a 3rd. #3 will be 3 this summer , and yes it is busy and manic at times but I would not change a thing. Try and look beyond the baby stage , do you feel that another child is the right choice? Everyones family is perfect just the way it is but is it complete? That's what you need to try and work out.

i have one child and personally think WE have the perfect family. be honest with yourself; get down to the "real" reasons you want another one. if you have another child it should be for the sake of that child, no other reason.

i have two and am happy.

my sil decided for 3 and she is happy, BUT watching her confirms that i am so glad we only had 2. with three you need a bigger vehicle, you need more bedrooms, You end up with a MIDDLE child -marsha Marsha marsha. And a spoiled baby AND a hyper responsible first born Then there is the whole two of one gender vs the left out gender. amusement parks, dining out etc aren't as easy with a tabel for four. Since i'm ranting, i'll admit it, i have to buy an extra bday and christmas gift instead of the even 2 and 2 we had going. I'm sure that sounds terrible and i'm sure people would argue all of those points but for me, well that's how i feel. I feel like life is just more compicated with three when the first two are opposite sex. Obviously you and your family will do what makes you happy and i know you didn't ask for advice from people who didin't have three so i hope it was ok that i answered from what i have seen with my sil. THe bonus for her was that having another meant that she didn't have to go back to work, but if you know you will already work then that woudln't be a factor for you.

Your post sounds like you could be content with what you have if you can come to a place where you let go of that picture in your head.

"Contentment" is being happy with what you have. You sound content to me.

I have 3 all girls. Going from 2 to 3 was much easier than going from 1 to 2. If your heart says have another then have another. Kids are a blessing and can only enrich your like. Dont get me wrong, a new baby added to any mix is going to take some adjusting on everyones part, but you will make it work.

As far worried about not giving enough attention, dont worry about that. Your 3rd child will feel just as loved as the first. I dont think my youngest feels any neglect at all. In fact shes the apple of my eye and she knows it. Of course my older 2 think they are also mommies and I have asked several times " whos the mom" My older girls tend to be very bossy but yet if truth be know the youngest rules over them.

I wouldnt change my decision to have the 3rd for anything. Although, I will admit I wanted a boy and even cried on the sono table when I was told she was a girl, but now I know why God gave me another girl, shes amazing.

Good Luck and follow your heart.

If you are financially and emotionally sound and you BOTH want a third, go for it!

You can probably say 'good-bye' to the old adage about the 'middle child syndrome,' because no matter what the sex of the child, your #1 child will ALWAYS be special because he/she will be the oldest child, your FIRST girl or boy AND your firstborn!

The #2 child will ALWAYS be special because it will be either the oldest or youngest girl or boy.

The #3 child will always be special because he/she will ALWAYS be the baby.

So you won't ever have the dilemma of 3 boys or 3 girls.....each one will have a very special place in sibling order!

Good luck.

I have six kids - all girls, all planned. It's loud, crazy, half the neighborhood is regularly at my house, I'm overwhelmed and exhausted a lot. I love it. If you and your husband both are inclined to want another one, then go for it! This child may be challenging in any variety of ways, but also a great blessing, too. And you're giving your other children a sibling, too. If you "throw caution to the wind" whatever is meant to be will happen. God bless you!

We have three boys, 7,3, and almost 1. I decided we would have as many children as we could without going insane. I used to think that number was six....not anymore! I really, really, really want a girl, but I know my family is done because I know I don't have the patience for another infant any longer. I love babies and I have the baby itch but I can see a difference in myself. I'm getting older and less tolorent of normal child behavior. I'm resentful of the sleep I don't get, not to or because of the kids, but because of my husband. He keeps me up watching tv until two or three, then I get up at six while he sleeps until nine or later, gets up, drags himself into the office, comes home early, takes a nap (cause he's so tired!) and then stays up again.

I stay home with our kids. I used to serve in the military. I love staying home but for me it is NOT easy! It wouldn't be fair to add another baby to the mix with me being as tired and short tempered as I am. I really don't think that having my hubby help out more would be the solution, either (he's worse than I am when he's tired). Plus, I have other things I want to do, going back to school and finally finishing what I started being one. And the added expense of a larger vehicle also weighs on my mind, even though we could afford it if we had to.

Would he/she be loved and cherised should it happen? Absolutely! The boys, as of right now, have NO resentment towards each other and they understand that each of them have a different need from my husband and I as parents (attention, ect.). Later, who knows?

Right now, 3 is perfect for us. Anything more will be God's decision, not mine!

I always wanted 3...envisioned our family with 3 children. I felt our family was complete with the three we have. Now I'm pregnant with our 4th. No, it wasn't planned, a total surprise. Sometimes what we deem to be the perfect size family is not what God's plan is for us. If you can't afford more children, then I believe you already know what your decision should be especially since you don't want to stop working. You will need daycare for a new baby and your paycheck would go towards daycare expenses. Something will always be taken away from the other children when you have more than one child. You simply cannot give 100 % of yourself to each child. It's just not possible but you do the best you can and divide your time the best way you know how.

We are blessed with 3 beautiful daughters. We originally planned to have 2 children b/c we both work and felt that any more than 2 would be too crazy to manage. But a few years ago I started to feel differently and although my husband was reluctant at first he came around b/c he knew it was what I really wanted. So at the age of 38 (my husband was 41) we welcomed our third daughter. It has definitely been as crazy as anticipated! My only regret, though, is that she is so much younger than her siblings. My girls' ages are 16, 12 and 4. It is almost like having 2 families at once. You didn't mention your children's ages so I don't know if this is relevant to you or not. But we love our girls and I couldn't imagine my life without my littlest one!

I have 3 sons and I never needed anyone else to tell me what to try for or how many to have. The only listening is to your heart. Pray about it and if your family is meant for another little bundle it will be so, maybe your timing is up or it just won't happen. I am a stay at home mother and have been for almost 10 years but its not for everyone so don't let that be an excuse. If your perfect family seems to be missing it's last member then have another. If you feel complete then thank God for that.

We have 3 children and its GREAT!!!!! I LOVE being a mommy to 3 :) They were all suprises but this last one was the biggest shock as I was sure I didnt want more. My son is 6 daughter 4 and other daughter almost 4 months...I love the age difference its just awesome cause I have two big helpers :) Best of luck to you and your family in making a decision listen to your heart...ask God for helping you make your decision and he will guide you :) Oh and my son wanted a boy and daughter also wanted a boy but they are absolutely in love with their new lil sister...Me and hubby also wanted another boy but I wouldnt trade her for nothing she is the sweetest I feel so blessed :)

If you feel you want a third child you will never regret having another baby but you might always regret NOT having one. I always had this naggng feeling that things didn't feel complete & thought a 3rd child would balance out the other 2 . Then when we started to get to an easier phase with my 2 boys I really 2nd guessed having a baby again. My husband thought we should be thankful for our first 2 healthy kids & not push our luck. 3rd child later...can't imagine that we almost didn't have him. There's usually a sibling around for them to play with & it makes our home fun.

If you think your situation is "the perfect family" then maybe you should stick with that.

We are at this point as well I am eager to read your responses.

I have 3 kids. Two boys, then a girl. I stay home full time.

I knew I wanted a third right after #2 was born. I did want to try for a girl, but if I'd had a boy and girl, we would have had a third either way. My kids are close in age, less than two years between each of them. If they were spread out farther, it would have been much easier I think. BUT I wouldn't change it if I had to go back and do it again.

I love my kids, would never change a thing. That said, there are some "con's" to having three. I am out numbered. When I am with two of my kids, I feel completely in control. When I have all three, it's much harder to keep things moving in the right direction without siblings bickering, someone running ahead, or falling behind. I use a stroller still to help us move in and out of buildings and around zoo's etc. I didn't get to cherish the "baby years" with my boys as much as with my last (daughter). Because my first was only 11 months when I got pregnant with my second, he grew up a little faster. Same with my second. My second seems to have a bigger personality and his tantrums are more "dramatic" than the others. Personality? Maybe - being the middle child? Maybe. It's hard to say.

My boys LOVE their sister (most of the time). My oldest is almost 6, and every day he does something that makes me smile. Like he'll say "Rebecca is the cutest girl ever - I love her". Or he'll help her with her babies, or give her a hug. It's so cute. My middle boy does clash with her some, but they get along better all the time. The boys are inseparable, and she is my "side kick".

I actually considered having a 4th in the hopes of giving her a sister - I am an only girl with two brothers, and always wanted a sister. But, we've decided financially, logically, environmentally (world population) and my age (I'm turning 39 this year) are enough reasons to be finished at 3.

Good luck with your decision!
J.

We have two boys and one girl and could never imagine life without the third. They will never question the third child as they will not know
any different life. The occasional comment may pop out but same as
any child who may feel shorted for some reason, siblings are easy to blame! If it is not a financial burden and your husband
Is on board, do it! You will not ever regret it!

I have three boys, so I don't have the boy girl issue to deal with but I have never regretted our decision. I don't really work outside the home, I do some temp work but it's only one day every two weeks and I only work while all three boys are at school. I had my third just before my 41st birthday, and they are now 10, 9, and 5. as far as how the first two responded to the third coming along, they loved it... they wanted a sister at one point, but I knew I'd have another boy so I quickly encouraged them how much better it would be to have a brother and they jumped onboard easily. We have always had the attitude "the more the merrier" so they easily adjusted to their baby brother. I did make a point to spend time with my now middle child because he had to make the transition from baby to middle, as I'm sure you would have to make adjustments with your children, (the baby to the middle and the child that becomes out numbered) but you could easily build a bond with that child because they are the only boy or only girl. it just takes the the love and caring parent(s) that make the adjustment easy.

but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I say go for it!

Personally, I knew I'd regret not having a 3rd child, perhaps the regret would be way in the future, but I knew I'd feel it. I had the 3rd and couldn't be happier! Also, I know that 4 kids would not work for us. Three kids, 15, 12 & 9 is a good balance for our family.

If you're a Christian, the best answer is to follow what God plans for you. If you become pregnant again, God knows your husband and you and your other two kids will be okay.

If you're not a Christian or just don't want to trust in HIM completely, write down your fears and your hopes in having a third child. If the fears outnumber the hopes, go with that instinct and keep your family at 4. If your hopes list is longer, expand your family to 5.

Good luck