Family Events and Appropriate Behavior

maybe ask family if they would be interested in giving him a few minutes of floor time when he can talk and tell them all about his week and what he has been doing, or what took place between the times of getting together. This depends really on his personality. If he likes to talk, give him "star" time. Or allow him to pick his game to play or movie to watch out of the bunch that is selected. Or any activity that you do during family time, he really might want to be in charge of something, and doesn't feel like he has any say, but wants to express something. Ultimately, talk about it before you get together with family. What your expectations are, and warn him of consequences if he doesn't behave.

Hi A.. We had this problem, too, and it was no fun at all.

Try practicing proper behavior with him before the event. First, practice with him one on one and start with a few basic social niceties: shaking hands, saying hello, please and thank you, standing still and looking at people when they speak, keeping hands to oneself. Take just a few minutes but practice every day til it becomes natural. Make it a game, you can even have a prize when he "wins" by mastering his manners. Then have him practice on other adults before the get together.

A six year old with good manners is so cute that most adults will make a big fuss over it. Changing behavior is a process so start with just a few manners and add more as he masters them. Hopefully this will encourage him to practice politeness when he wants attention.

I may be that your son needs behavior classes. You should check into at your local Childrens Facility or Mental Health Facility. I'm not saying he has any mental problems, it may just be that he is having problems how to behave during these occasions. I'm sure you are trying your hardest to correct them. It just may be harder than you think for him. Behavior classes may help, they helped my son.

Goodluck
H.

provide opportunities for him to engage with and receive that attention in a positive way-- you can teach him card games (easy to teach and pack around) that he can play with adults. be sure to talk to him before hand re: your expectations regarding his behavior and consequences for not meeting those expectations. you may have to do some explicit model/teach what you expect of him.

best wishes!

A. make sure there actually are appropriate activities, toys, people to talk to, etc. to keep him engaged. Any person would act out if they are bored or being ignored.
B. Be willing to follow through with significant consequences at the FIRST SIGN of inappropriate behavior. Removing him from the situation may be required, so if you are not willing to do that, you may not have much success.
1) The next time you attend a family get together, just before you get there, such as in the car, talk to your child. Get down on his eye level, make sure he is listening to you, and tell him calmly and clearly what you expect: "I want you to be respectful of other people. There is no running in the house. There is no hitting other people." Tell him the consequence for misbehavior. "If you ..." (a suggestion is to have him sit outside for five minutes.) End with a positive affirmation: "I know that you can have self control in there. Let's go to it!" This should take five minutes.
2) The VERY FIRST TIME he violates the expectations you have clearly explained, put the consequence into place. Do not give him a pass, or else he will learn that you don't mean what you said, and so of course this will encourage him to continue ignoring what you said and misbehaving. Tell him why you are instituting the consequence: "I told you ... you just... this is wrong. If you cannot respect other people, you will have to be alone for a while." Do not get into a discussion justifying your actions. Just explain and institute.
3) Make sure the consequence is short enough so that he has the opportunity to try again. For example, if you have him sit outside for five minutes, then after five minutes, speak pleasantly to him and say, "I had you sit outside here by yourself because you were not being respectful to other people. What is it that you did wrong?" Have THEM explain their offense so he has to take responsibility for it and so you both know he clearly understand right behavior. Then say, "I believe that you can be successful here. Are you ready to try again?" If he says yes, give him another chance. If not, let him remain isolated.
This process does take an investment of your own time and energy. It may not be your favorite thing to do while visiting family, but once you make this investment, it will pay off. Sometimes what I do is practice at home beforehand. Say, "Let's pretend..." Practice the appropriate behavior. It really helps kids remember in the heat of the moment.
Hope this helps.