Hi Brandi:
You've received some good responses.I'll simply pass on some excellent advice,that I was given,years ago,when going through the same thing.While you will never forget certain events in your life.times you were hurt,or your heart broken,you do have the ability to forgive.To move on.Children,naturally have a loving,protective attitude,toward their parents. They feel an obligation to be loyal. Their parents could be abusive,and cruel,yet the child would defend them to the end.Keep this in mind.Whom ever is being attacked,spoken harshly about,the child is more likely to sympathize and feel strongly in his need to protect THEIR reputation.After all,A child idolizes his parents.As one mother stated here"Stay true to yourself" Don't make the mistake your ex is. Using his children,as a form of vindictiveness.He isn't thinking of the Irreputable damage to his relationship with his children. I realize,that our first thought,is to protect our integrity,when our reputation is being attacked or in this instance,our children are questioning our devotion.but don't be sucked in to his irresponsible,ways.(His games). Never attack him verbally,or feel the need to defend yourself.This only makes the children wonder if there's actual validity to his rumors.Instead,reply,with sincere regret,that your sorry,that their father isn't able to find happiness.That some people,find comfort,or strength in making others unhappy also.In time,they will come to understand.Allow Your children,to form their own opinions of the man.Because,his actions are considered abusive,mentally,I would consider having a private conversation with him. I would tell him,that unless he refrains from abusing,the children with his cruel remarks,using them as a tool for revenge,that you will be forced to go back to court,and request supervised visitation for him. Follow through. I do wish you and your lovely family the best. J. M.
