I have two girls who are 4 years apart. After the newest one was born and is now forming her own personality, I notice my 5 year old trying to copy her baby sister. I want them both to grow up to be strong women, but with their own personalities and be comfortable with who they are, not who they think someone wants them to be. I don't know why she does this. Is this something that is normal for siblings? I was an only child so this is all new to me. Any suggestions?
This is something someone who grew up in a larger family would never give a thought. One of the great things about siblings is that you learn from each other. Usually it's just a stage. They will grow to be individuals but they will have their similarities too! You'll see! They'll figure it out as they go along. Encourage each one's talents and abilities and everything will be fine.
I have a almost 5 yr old daughter and a 5 month old daughter (so, 4.5 yrs apart).. I notice my daughter doing this a lot lately even though the baby is so little, she is doing a lot more baby stuff that she never did before. I hope its just a stage, probably a little jealousy too
I think it is perfectly normal. Siblings will copy behavior that they see gets attention from Mom and Dad for whatever reason. Treat them as individuals, and encourage all the good things. She will grow out of it and be her own person. No worries!
J.,
I have 5 boys and they all have such unique and individual personalities that sometimes I wonder how they could have all come from the same gene pool!
Your girls personalities will shine through and they will be who they were meant to be, however they will be a huge influence on each other, just like you will be a huge influence on them too, shaping their personalities with your own beliefs, behaviors, and morals, etc.
When we live in a family that is full of love and caring this can be a positve thing. But don't worry their own likes, dislikes, and opinions will shine through too. It reminds me of a saying I heard once "When we are not influencing someone else, then we are being influenced by them". Its all part of the growning up process.
Five years old is just an age when they start to notice they have to share the attention. Be patient. When she starts going to school she'll develop her own personality, make friends, learn things. It's just having to share your attention with little sister. They don't understand quite that babies require a little more just because. Their minds don't function that way: reasoning and being rational.
It's just all about being the favored one. Supposedly.
So where's dad in all this? He could be taking up some of the slack.
I think its not a problem at this point. I think the best way to encourage individualism is to acknowledge and accept whatever's going on with them. So even "bad" feelings are not sources of shame. You could say, "That's what baby sis does. She is cute, isn't she?" And then praise or acknowledge the "grown up" behavior she displays. But w/o too much energy. I'd probably just use distraction. Invite other behavior in w/o judgment or comment at all. I'm guessing it will pass.
I think it is normal. My daughter is 3 and she sometimes mimicks her older brother who is 8 and her youngest who is 18 months. I think she knows that the youngest is the baby and babies get lot of attention. She looks up to my oldest and likes to learn from him. She does have her own unique personality but she likes to be able to pretend to be the "baby" of the family or the big kid since she is the middle child but the only girl so far. I think your daughter will outgrow this stage.
