What Is Normal? - Lugoff,SC

My oldest is a boy, 2 1/2 years old now. (17 month old girl) He was and is still more whiney than my daughter is, EVER! When he was first born up until now his terrible two's! It's worse when he's sick and not feeling well, tired, hungry, you name it! He's not so bad on a normal basis, but I do believe it's something he'll grow out of. He's definitely much better than he was, but it's still there. I definitely don't think it's anything you have to worry about. He IS just a baby. Everyone is different. It'll get better. My son doesn't always feel better with more comforting, sometimes he just wants to cry.. so I let him. I give him a few minutes and I pick him up and all is okay again.

Good luck!
K.

PS. Congrats with the IVF! My girlfriend just went thru round 2 or 3 and she was pregnant this last time for maybe 2 months with one baby. She lost the other two right away, but then she lost the third.

It doesn't matter how many children you have together at one time or separate. My sister has 10 children and you wouldn't think that there are that many different personalities in the world but there are and they all live under one roof. It's important to get to know each child as individuals, treat them as individuals, and let them be individuals. They will all act, learn, and grow in different ways. What works for one most likely will not work for the other two. You have to learn how to praise them in a way that speaks positively to that child and you have to discipline them differently. If you try to keep them in a box and treat them all alike you are going to have complete ciaos.

Just like employees that work for a company you can't treat them all the same when handling them. Some like to be told how it is so get to the point, others need a storey behind it, and others need lots of sugar coating so they don't break down and get their feelings hurt. Even though your children come from you and your husband and they came at the same time, they are all created special and unique. Find joy in discovering who they are. Each one will bring their own special gifts to your family.

My 9 month old can be very whiny sometimes so I know how frustrating it can be. I found that not enough sleep is the main culprit (reading The no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley). I also believe that clingy, whiny babies need extra attention and reassurance to feel more self-assured and safe. Perhaps your son would respond positively to personal one-on-one time with mommy and daddy.
Good luck!

I have four boys and one long awaited baby girl (which includes a set of twin boys). The oldest son and oldest twin are exactly alike while the second son and second twin are the same. My girl, there is no comparison between the things the boys did and her. Each child is different and expressions/emotions can run to the extreme or be mild (like your one girl). Just because he is a boy doesn't mean he won't be sensitive,ie husbands when they are sick. Also coming to mind is how fast does he eat vs. the girls? One of our twins was very uncomfortable after eating from going to fast or getting to much air while nursing and we figured out if we layed him on his stomach awhile it would work out and he was fine. They say the first and second are opposite of each other, which is so true, it's showing in your description of your babies too, it is normal to have every one different, even boys! Good Luck and Congrats on your babies!

My first child was a boy. He was the perfect child. Napped like clockwork, to the point where his grandfather came to visit one day and asked "when will he be up?" and I told him, "In 17 minutes." He stared at his watch, and, sure enough, in 17 minutes, we heard him peep from his crib. He walked at 12 1/2 months and could actually read the grocery list at 18 months!

My daughter, on the other hand, was the baby from Hades. She wanted to feed every two hours, no matter what. I couldn't lay her down anywhere, unless she was already asleep. I tell everyone that I carried her for 18 months -- 9 inside, and 9 on my hip. (Did you know you could tie sneakers with one hand, if you try hard enough?) One day, at 9 months, I sat her on the floor next to a chair for support. She pulled herself up, turned around, and walked to me! (I'm still trying to figure that out!) She also didn't even TALK until she was almost 18 months old, and began with sentences! (3 or 4 words strung together) One time, at about 15 months, we spoke about ordering Chinese food for dinner, and she yelled "FRIBBIM!" I told her I didn't understand. She went into her room, took a pink marker, and perfectly drew a SHRIMP!

Normal?

All children are different. If your pediatrician says they are all healthy, and you don't suspect a problem, don't worry-- be HAPPY! Remember, not only are you a first time mom...3 times over...but HE's a first time DAD, too! :)

Hi L..
First, there is no such thing as "normal" when it comes to children's personalities.
Second, sometimes boys can be whiney. It prepares them to be men. Just kidding. Seriously though, my son was very clingy and whiney when he was little. Now he is 14 months and he is still clingy but not so whiney, except when he's tired or he doesn't get his way. Just remind your husband that all children are different and it doesn't matter whether they shared the same genes or the same womb.
Congratulations on your little angels! I know you have your hands full!
Good Luck!
N.

EVEN IF YOU HAD 3 CHILDREN WHO WERE NOT TRIPLETS..BORN YEARS APART, THEY WOULD STILL BE THEIR OWN PERSON. EVEN AT 8 MONTHS, YOUR BABIES ARE JUST BEING WHO THEY ARE. I HAVE 3 KIDS AND THEY ARE EACH SPECIAL AND UNIQUE. SO ARE YOURS. YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO LOOK AT IT THAT WAY TOO. AND MAYBE PRACTICE A LITTLE ON HIS PATIENCE.....IT WILL HELP IN THE LONG RUN.....3 KIDS THE SAME AGE..YOUR GONNA NEED IT. CONGRATS ON YOUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN.

Hi L.,
No two babies are alike. Your husband is doing your Son a dis-service to compare them at all. Besides, every baby is born with his or her own temperment...it can not really be changed.(for example, my daughter has a short temper...we don't cater to it by any means, but we can't change it either) (another ex: that he cries more than the other two for expamle) A baby at 8 months old is not "whining" to be annoying, or to manipulate you...he is a baby with no words to express himself and he is trying to tell you something is bothering him...he is not happy about something, he is uncomfortable..or hungary, or gassy, or something.

As a Mommy myself, I find myself (on occasion) even comparing my Sophie to other kids her age, reguarding speech, etc...then I catch myself and remind myself that comparing kids is not a good thing to do. Each child is its own entity and they will never be alike.

Three babies...wow!! Amazing stuff.
Many Blessings,
Jenny

I have three daughters and one son. My son is 6 months old and he cries more than my girls did combined. The girls wouldn't cry just because they weren't being held every minute of the day and it seems like that is all he does. As long as he's being held (by me) he's fine. My husband gets annoyed with it too because the girls weren't this way but, I just tell him that he's a baby and all babies are different. He's not purposely crying to upset him. That is the only way he knows how to express himself. I hope it gets better when he can use words to express what he wants. Both mine and yours! My girls are 6, 4 and 2. I know it's much harder on you having three the same age. At least they aren't all that way. Good Luck!

L.,

WOW! 3 would definitely be a challenge. Your husband needs to learn patience. I know with my kids that was a big subject with my husband, he didn't understand if they just wanted to be held or just tired, he learned alot of patience after some reminding from me, alot of reminding, almost enough that he had to learn patience for me all over again.

Remind him that these 3 babies are soley dependant on you both and that they are the same age, from the same parents, in the same environment, BUT they are made up of totally different chemistry.

Again NORMAL is a state of mind, our norms are set by our environment! Good luck and God bless all of you!

K.

I don't have any boys, but I do want to suggest to your husband that he is very careful about how he "expects" his son to behave and react to situations, both now and later down the road. I know it is common for men to criticize small boys for being whiny or "girly", but at this age it's normal for both sexes. He should be taught in a gentle and matter-of-fact manner (just as you would teach the abc's or how to tie his shoes) that he should not whine or cry to get his way (as girls should not), but 8 months is hardly the age to begin this since he cannot express himself any other way yet. But if he is made to feel that showing any emotion is not manly enough or not acceptable to his father (let alone society), then he may have trouble later expressing himself in a way that is healthy and beneficial. I'm not saying he will end up a suicide bomber or anything like that, but I know my husband has trouble talking to me when he's upset about something, and it definitely negatively affects our relationship. His problem started when he was very young and was expected to "suck it up" and "be a man." So basically, I think your son is perfectly normal right now at his age. But when he is a little older, he should not be taught to "just be a man," he should be taught specific ways to express his emotions in a way that can make him a better man one day.

First congrats on your little ones � wow you must be a busy mom.

Keep in mind there is no �Normal�. Although you have Triplett�s they are three individual people. Also I don�t think this is a gender thing it�s a personality thing. There are no two babies exactly alike.

By the way I do have an 8 month old son who is getting more vocal about his likes/dislikes and needs via whimpers or cries. This is new as from birth to 6 months I can count on one hand the times he actually cried. I expect more changes as he gets older, some good some not so fun.

Best Wishes and Good Luck
M.

Who knows is the answer!! I have three boys and all were whiney at that age. I had a habit of handling the whining and redirecting it much better than my husband. All kids are different from their siblings and especially if they are opposite sexes. I might have told my husband that kids are different and they have different personalities and likes. I have a friend who has twin boys and they are very different personalities!! I can only imagine what it might be like to have three at the same age - you would think that they would be acting the same way but they all have their own way of doing things!! good luck.

Every child is different and develop differently. I'm sure you know that being a teacher (I am too). He needs to relax and give it time... he is just a baby. The behavior he has now is not necessarily the behavior he will have later. Give it time!!! :)

We have 2 sets of twins in my immediate family...my sister (BB) and my sister-in-law (BG). These sound like typical kids to me! I have 4 children, all single births, but are all very different. One is a "plastic" (pretty girl with all the "in" clothes, shoes and hair), one is laid back and just likes being herself (when she's not imitating her older sister), one is head-strong, strong-willed, bull-headed...whatever you want to call it, and the last, our only boy, is momma's boy, but is loud, obnoxious, rude and a smartmouth. My s.i.l.'s twins are day and night. The boy is fair with blue eyes/blond hair, and the girl is dark with dark hair/eyes. He's big and she's little. He is tough, but a crybaby, and she is dainty and LOUD! My sister's boys are somewhat similar. The oldest is fair and blond-headed/blue-eyed. He's the one that's the trouble-maker, BUT he's a crybaby. The youngest is red-headed/blue-eyed and he's a trouble-maker, too, but he lets you know that HE'S in charge. So in a nutshell, tell your husband to go jump off a bridge. He's only a baby. Worry about it if he's 15 or 16 and still doing it! God Bless!! Good luck!

There is a misconception that boys are suppose to be masculine and never cry and huff around and sit and watch tv with their hands in their pants, and burp on command and those other things that are really just silly. It is normal for a infant boy to cry and be whinny, especially if he is one of 3 that are the same age. He is a baby and still needs tender care. He may just be a little whinnier and soft than other boys but normal is relative depending on who you are comparing him to, but just like his two sisters he is completely different and he will not be like any other boy in the world, he is unique and you need to let your husband know that he cannot compare him with others, even his two sisters.

L.,
I had twins b/g and my son sounds like your son. My son cried all of the time while our daughter was the perfect little baby! I took care of him so my husband would not get so frustrated with him. I did find some drops you can buy at walgreens, its for gas. That seemed to work with him really good. He grew out of this stage as soon as he started to walk (which was at 8 months). Hope this helps some.
C.