Do You Get Along with Your SIL???

Updated on June 04, 2011
J.K. asks from Overland Park, KS
30 answers

My SIL and I get along very well. We talk on the phone quite often, and seem to always laugh alot together. We have the same opinions on almost everything, and we both know-it-all. We have fun almost always and have only had a few arguments in the last 20+ years. I love her!! She is always willing to lend a helping hand or be there when I need her. So my question to you is, do you get along with your SIL? What is your favorite thing about her?

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I only have one SIL (married to my hubby's brother) and she and I don't get along as much as I'd like. We were pregnant together so I hoped that would give us some common ground, but no :( I invite her and my nephew over but they never come; there's always an excuse. It's not that we're unfriendly, we just don't have the kind of call-each-other-up-and-chat relationship that you have.

But I am really close with one of my sisters :o)

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L.A.

answers from Kansas City on

I have three sister-in-laws and I love this question. My brother's wife is without a doubt my best friend. She is the person I call when anything is happening in my life that I want/need to share with someone. I'm not quite as close to my husband's sisters. One is because of distance. She lives in Wisconsin and we are in Kansas, also my husband wasn't raised with her so he doesn't know her as well either. That being said, she is a wonderful person and I really respect her. My husband's other sister has been "going through a bad patch" for about five years now so I worry about her more than anything but deep down she's a good person. I do miss how wonderful she used to be.

R.A.

answers from Providence on

I have three of them and they are my best friends. I have three brothers, but have always wanted a sister, and to be a big sister. They are all unique, and I have a special relationship with each one of them.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Was she standing over your shoulder when you typed this? Just Kidding.
I have 5 SILs and was close to the youngest much like your SIL. I have known my SIL for 19 years, over the last 2 years, she started having personal problems in almost all aspects of her life. When she shared with me I cautioned her to protect herself in ways she was not comfortable receiving. Since then she has not reached out to me as she used to. I see it as her not willing/ready to face the solution to her problems. So I stay at bay and don't take it personal. I know I have always been supportive and respectful, so I will be here for her when she is ready. Glad to hear your relationship continues to be strong. Enjoy :)

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A.A.

answers from Columbus on

J., this is such a nice post!

I don't want to ruin your post with negativity so I will just say no, I do not get along with 1 of my 3 sisters - in - law. The other two I have a decent relationship with.

I am envious of your great relationship! The SIL that I don't get along with only lives around the corner so we should be best of friends. It's such a shame because hubby and I don't have many friends in the area.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I only have (almost) 1. My BIL's fiance, they are getting married this summer but have been a couple for about 6 years now. My husband and brother are not that close but their family has quite a few yearly get-togethers and we always spend some time during Christmas w/each other so we have spent a good amount of time together.

She is my age (34) and BIL is 37 but they have no kids. We do not have a lot in common but she is nice and very pleasant and seems sweet enough.

The only thing that is a lil' awkward is their 'view' on kids and hubby and I secretly giggle to ourselves about what it's gonna be like if they ever decide to have kids of their own :) SIL is Polish and from Poland but moved here to the states when she was 3 but she is constantly talking (and blogging) about how differently us 'Americans' are...which I really do not understand? She was raised here, went to American schools...she is American but she chooses not to think of herself as American first. She wrote about my children in one of her blogs a few years back...it was 4th of July weekend and husband took the kids down to visit his parents and brother and SIL and I had to stay home b/c I had to work, anyway, in her blog she made a comment about how my kids were 'For American children, amazingly well behaved, not like many American kids you see these days' which I thought was kind of strange? But whatever?!

Her and BIL have also made several comments about how they will NEVER shop at any of the ever so popular chain stores like Target or Walmart...and I find myself giggling about that too! Let's just wait and see till they have some kids of their own and see how expensive everything is!

Hee-Hee:)

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A..

answers from Kansas City on

Awwwww, aren't you sweet?! Can I be your sis?! I have 3 SIL's. One I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, in fact I could have written this post myself! And One Is a self centered BEEP who I really can't stand but, we get along at functions because I tolerate her. The other one is a psycho and she's quite entertaining when we get to hear all of her crazy "your not going to believe what happened to me!" stories, lol!

So, for my SIL that I love, I hope you read this and know how much I love ya!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOO!!!!

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I wish I had a SIL I got along with. Mine is a racist bigoted jerk who told me once that she wants to have a three-way with me. We don't talk...

(She's my husband's brother's wife.)

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have just 1 sister in law (for now at least) and it is my husband's sister. I LOVE her to death!! Since my husband & I started dating 11yrs ago, she's been wonderful. We have 3 kids now & she is the Godmother to my oldest son (8yrs old). She was my full time sitter as well when I was working after he was born. I love the fact that she loves my kids as her own. She is always there when I need someone to talk to~and it's great that I can call & vent to her about her own brother!! She's always willing to help all of us out. And, even though this isn't direct towards ME, my favorite thing about her is her love towards my kids. I can't say enough how much she loves them, cares for them, and is always there for them!!

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I only have one sister-in-law that I know...my husbands family is too big and spread all over the USA.. But my one brother was married to a totally crazy, pathological liar. The only thing I like about her is that she divorced my brother years ago!

D.F.

answers from San Antonio on

I LOVE Sister-on-law!! We get along VERY good. She has been married to my brother for almost 20 yrs. We always have fun! We love to cook together. We have raised our kids together. I am so blessed to have her in my life!!
I am happy you have a good relationship with yours too!!
Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!
D.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I get along very well with my SIL. What's funny is we are completely different people. She ALWAYS has to give her opinion without being asked...drives my hubby nuts! But, we've always gotten along. And I think she likes me too...I am her youngest daughter's Godmother!

Just a side note...my hubby loves his SIL too. My little sister and him get along so well, they should be bro and sis! They are both Harry Potter fans, so they have 'dates' to go to the movies when a new one comes out! It's very cute!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have two. I get along with both of them but don't see them too often since we all live in different states.

M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I have one SIL that I love to pieces - the other, I could do without.....

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have 4. 2 are married to my brothers. 2 are my husband's sisters. I love them all, but am actually much more social and "hands on" with my husband's sisters. We are just closer somehow.

My oldest brother's wife is older than me and they were married and had children before I even was thinking about marriage--- so we didn't bond that well, as my head was totally somewhere else from hers. And they lived 6 hours away from me so it wasn't like we saw each other often. We were in very different places in our lives, and it seems we have maintained that.. ummm... distance(?)...
My middle brother didn't get married until a few years ago.. She is younger than me (by almost 10 years) and they (to date) have no children. So we have little in common, including life experiences in general... and they too live many hours from us.
My husband's sisters, however, are slightly younger than me, and I found them very open and fun, and very much wanting to have a good relationship with me. They much admire their older brother (my husband) and have turned to him (and to me, by default) over the years for advice, companionship, an ear, etc. Something that my brother's wives have not done, or not felt the need to do. ALL of my SIL's fathers are deceased. Which is an odd little bit of information to throw into the mix. 2 by cancer over 10 years ago (my brother's wife's dads) and my hubby's step-dad about 4 years ago (Lewie Body disease, after misdiagnoses of both Parkinson's and Alzheimers).
I do not always agree with what my hubby's sisters have done in certain circumstances, but I think they have always tried to do the best they could in their particular circumstances. And they are lots of fun to be around---very quick witted and every visit/phone call has some sarcasm and bits of humor thrown into even the WORST of subjects. There is pretty much nothing off limits to have a joke made out of it. My brother's wives, on the other hand, are very sweet, but also seem a little reserved--as if they are putting on to be nice for their husband's family almost. Or just a little nervous to "let it all hang out". Usually when we are together, it includes the presence of our mom, and my SILs often seem a little not-quite-comfortable.... With my husband's sisters, their mom isn't usually present at the same time, so maybe that is a part of it.
His family (in general, his sisters specifically) are not afraid to admit their problems and joke about hard times. My family is ever the "perfect" family and anything that is problematic is glossed over or whispered about. :/

So, my favorite things about them? first SIL- that she loves my brother unconditionally and they are a wonderful complement to each other, and she has raised 4 wonderful children with him, and can sometimes get under my mother's skin, (wink wink). most recent SIL- that she loves my brother and he loves her, and she is so laid back and relaxed with my brother. He is very laid back and dated some more "uptight" women--- she is adorable. It took him a lot of years to find her, and I am so glad he did. She lets him be a kid--which is a lot like my dad.
SIL via hubby: I just love hanging out with them really. I laugh more when they are around. We had my hubby's older sister and her family here to cook-out for Memorial Day, and I told her (while sitting outside with a glass of wine) that my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much that afternoon. And it was true. I just feel happier when they are around. They know a side of my husband that not everyone does (his mean evil devious jokester side-- totally smiling when I say that).
Wow- didn't mean to write a book!

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My husband has two sisters. I get along very well with one. I consider her to be a very good friend. The other one, I get along okay with her, we have never had any issues at all, but we aren't really close. Our worldviews are just totally polar opposite on pretty much everything in life. :) But, we do enjoy each other's company when we are together, which isn't very often, unfortunately (we live on opposite sides of the country). My brothers (ex) wives? I never even met them. Both of them were bad news from the start, and have left a wake of distruction in their paths. It's unfortunate for my brothers and their children.
I don't normally not get along with people. I may disagree with how they live, but I am not one to fight with people. It just isn't the way I am. I just go with the flow more, I guess.

G.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I have 4 SIL's but only one that I talk to on a regular basis because we live about an hour apart. The rest are all far away. I get along good with my SIL, she's the only one that KNOWS how silly our MIL is, so we can joke about her together without getting anyone else in the family riled up :)

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

I only have one sister, so I have no SIL, only one BIL....he and I get along fine at family functions, we are by no means chummy outside of family functions. Maybe it is the fact that I only have one sister and love her fiercely, so maybe no man would ever be worthy of her in my eyes...but he is not exactly on my favorites list on well, any given day.

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C.H.

answers from Cleveland on

I have 3 sisters and 1 SIL! We get along great, it is nice to have her around and be able to share with her! We seem to always have a great time together. Family is sooooo important and I am glad to have a strong family on both sides. My favorite thing is just spending time together and talking...... I hope my children will have the same closeness I have with my sisters/SIL in the future!!!!

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I haven't really had a goooood chance to get to know my SIL, mostly because I don't really click with the brother of mine that she married ;) She's a great girl, and I do love her like family, I just haven't spent much one on one time with her. We're not into the same things (except tattoos), but we can definately carry on a decent conversation ;) She's really flaky/quirky, but even so, I still love her ;) She has 2 real sisters, so it's not like she needs me ;)

Now, I really really REALLY wish more than anything on this earth that my fiance sister was still alive. I know everything happens for a reason. She passed away years and years ago; I never got to meet her... BUT the stories I hear about her, man, I would have loved her, and loved her company!! Even the 'bad' stories about her, I think 'wow, I would have been doing the same stupid stuff!'. She was my fiances big sister... I'm the big sister... other than that, we still had tons in common. I miss her dearly and I've never met her :)

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I have 3 SILs.
I get along with my husband's sister. We don't necessarily agree all the time, but avoid the hot topics. We'd both do anything for eachother though!
I get along the best with my middle brother's wife. She is as sweet and down to earth as they come! She's the type I'd love to be friends with even if we weren't related.
I fake it with my oldest brother's wife. She (and him) have hurt our family so many times that I just don't trust her anymore. I just play the game when I am with them for the sake of avoiding arguements.
2 out of 3 isn't bad!

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S.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hehe.. No! I have 4 SIL. 1 is my brothers wife and she is a nut job. After she cheated on my brother I lost a lot of respect for her. We are definitely civil with each other, just not buddy buddy. My other 3 SIL are from my Hubby's side. 1 of the 3 is his sister and the other 2 are his brothers wives. Most know my horror stories with my hubby's sis. She is a pain in the butt and I doubt she will ever grow up. But we shall see. The other 2 I only see 4 times a year. They are nice but both have mental issues (as in they are medically treated for their issues).

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D.L.

answers from Kansas City on

i get along well with 1 of mine - shes younger than me (by a couple years) but she has been a mom longer than me and i have asked her opinion a few times. dont see them much with them living in a different state - but love her to death. my other one ...... well we wont go down that road. great question

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Yes, I love all 3 of my SILs. They are all completely awesome in different ways and I wish they lived closer so we could spend more time together. But at least we get to all see each other about 2ce a year when we meet up for the holidays or family vacations. None of us has ever had arguments (knock on wood) and we all get along great. My brother's wife is so laid back and such a sweet person. She has given me great advice when I was having a lot of trouble with my mom being a nutcase and she worked to help me repair the relationship. My husband's sister and brother's wife are both really nice and very smart women.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

One yes, the other no.

My fav thing about the one I get along with, that she's the only person I know who really KNOWS my brother. He's a real charmer, so it's nice to have someone to talk to when he gets on my nerves. And we both laugh a lot about parenting and how crazy kids can be.

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I have 4 SILs,, 1 was married to my oldest brother and I idolized her when I was a little kid. She was skinny and blond and cute and smoked and I was 11. I thought she was so cool. Well, she left me in a shopping mall one time when I was visiting them for my 8th grade graduation gift and I never got over that. She has some mental problems now and isnt able to get along with most of the family and my brother died a couple years ago so its not real easy. 2 are married to my younger brothers and I have had trouble with one being rude and crude and stirring up trouble in the family, and 1 I barely know but shes polite and decent to talk with now and then. Like a couple times a year, or chat on facebook. The other is my husbands sister. I went to school with her, and shes never thought I was good enough. She is friendly enough when we see eachother but we rarely see eachother. I did have another SIL who was married to my husbands brother for a short time years ago. I liked her and when they divorced I told her we would kick him out of the family and keep her. My husband liked the idea and we have kept in touch with her over all the years. She lives half way across the country so we dont see eachother often but we email and she does come visit when shes in Ca. We like her!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

For the most part, my one SIL have gotten along very well over the years, although there were some 4-6 month stretches in there that we did not speak at all and I wondered if I would ever be able to be in the same room with her again. My other SIL and I are civil to one another.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I don't have any. I looked forward to my BIL getting married and having a SIL to hang out with at my in-laws, but he's been dating an ex-girlfriend of my husband so I'm not so into that idea anymore lol. We don't even go to the same family functions as them - I can't imagine what we'll do if they ever get married or have kids.

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A.H.

answers from Topeka on

I have 3 SIL's. My brother's wife and I are best friends. In fact, we were college roommates and best friends in college. That's how she met my brother, and I couldn't be luckier!!! We were pregnant at the same time with our firsts, and both had boys (2 months apart). She had a daughter 2 years later and now 6 years later, I'm going to be having a baby girl in August! Anyway, she almost died when she had my nephew and I still, to this day, tear up when I think about losing her. She was on life support for 3 days after having an emergency c-section and I thank God often that he let her stay with us!!

My husband has 2 sisters and neither one of them liked me from the beginning. We're cordial to each other, but one lives a few blocks from us and I hardly ever talk to her. The other lives in another country and visits about once a year. When she was here last time she visited us twice for about 20 minutes each. No...we're NOT close.

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have three SIL's. Two are great. One is fine and one is a horror.

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