Do You Ever... - Harrisburg,PA

Those really were the days....ahhhhhhh

Totally single, get up at anytime, do whatever and whoever i wanted.

;)

I feel like that often. The only "break" I seem to get is going to work, and that isn't a break. I actually just told my husband last night that I need a weekend away, all by myself. Being a mother and wife is constant, it's hugely demanding, no wonder we go nuts...

Yah, I think all Moms feel these feelings many times.
Me included.

But I would not wish to be 'single.'
I just want QUIET and utter peace and no one calling my name, nothing to anticipate, and just do nothing.

When I am feeling like this, I do not even want to be with anyone... because I want MY time to be ALONE. Without having to be going by anyone else's timeline or needs or schedule or wants or anything.
I just want autonomy for my time. To spend it how I want.
That, is total downtime, to me.

My M. said once, "I bet you didn't realize that before you had kids every day of your life was a vacation." So true.

Yes, lately I've had a lot of days that I've just wanted to crawl into bed, by myself, and be left alone. You have my empathy.

I stole this term from my former bosses that have an autistic daughter. You need your 'reset' button pushed.

I've been a SAHM for four years and love it but there are some days I'm not lovin' life. Getting out alone makes me soooo happy. I get to listen to MY music (fairly loud), I drive MY way and go order something I can eat and not have to SHARE. In fact tomorrow night I'm going to see Sarah Silverman alone mostly because my husband is a huge homebody and rather stay home and go to bed early.

Of course I do! I adore my son, love very deeply my husband, and still-- there are days that I would like them to Just Go Away for a while. Just to hear silence. To not have to negotiate everyone's needs into one day. To make a meal which no one complains about, and has to wait for no one before I cook it. To talk on the phone with a friend and not hear my son yelling for me or my husband waving and whispering at me, both of them wanting my attention.

My guys went away on a trip for a week and came back two days ago. I loved just hearing the clock tick and the cat purr. Making a cup of tea and drinking it while it was hot. Sleeping in. Oh, that was the best part, the uninterrupted sleep. It had been over 4 years since I'd experienced 24 whole hours to myself. Now that they've returned, I'm glad they're back, but it's amazing to me how I forgot, momentarily, that it's So Much Work to be a mother!

Don't you wish being a M. came with vacation days? I could sure use one sometimes.

Yes! My husband is working tonight and it was a tough one here at home...texted him "I'm running away". It's tough to be a M. and wife; our needs tend to come last to everyone else's...no matter how great of a partner one's husband is (mine's pretty great). Hang in there and know you're completely normal!

i'm having one of those YEARS where I feel like this.

If you were my dog or my kitty, I would put the softest pillow on my lap and say come on board the "GOOD SHIP M.", and I would just pet you and love and make all your troubles go away!

So to to answer your questions, YES I had those days and they came and went. It would be OK for you to tell your husband, M., sis or good friend that you really could use a little "ME TIME"....We really all deserve it!

Blessings....

Yes, I do. I realize how much time I had alone before having kids or a husband, and how I didn't realize how peaceful it was! Not that I would give them back for a moment, just maybe would have enjoyed it a bit more!!

Oh Girl!!! You deserve a day like that!!

I don't ever wish to be single again - but I'm one of the lucky ones I have a supportive husband and I get ME time!!!

Tell your husband what you need and make sure you get it!!!

I think us M.'s all have days like that. Try to get some alone time. Have your husband take the kids for a little while. My husband actually took my son out of town for the weekend, I am thoroughly enjoying the empty house and quiet time! They'll be back tomorrow, which I am glad because I miss them, but it sure has been nice! and a much needed break.

I had one of those just yesterday. But it,s hard to disapear when you have kids and neighbors knocking to use your phone and the phones ringing and you have to get to these these things. It sucks. Hope I made you feel a bit better. If you need to vent... Some people say get up brush yourself off and do it again. I like a nice HOT bath. Paint the toes, facial scrub or get a pedicure thats really a nice treat. Feel better yet? Come on get up grab a towel and scream in to it. Made you laugh. Gotcha!

I have friends who are single and they want what I have, they would take the chaos and the constant 'doing' of something over the empty apartment and noiseless and the "forever searching' mode.......;) so nah, I do not wish to be single again.
However, oh yeah, there are days when I sneak in a short nap and I go to my happy place in my mind where its just me and my dog! ( like the old days ) hehehe

I would L.O.V.E a day or so of peace and quiet. I love my family more than life itself. My husband is great, my boys are fabulous, my new baby is wonderful. I am tired.
I want to go to the bathroom without anyone barging in or knocking on the door and asking me a stupid question.
I want to go to sleep for 7 STRAIGHT HOURS and not get up...even to go to the bathroom.
I want to lounge around at home and not have to worry about getting kids to school, preschool, the grocery store, doctors apptmnts, soccer...ect.
I want to go out and dance (but that I want to do with my husband).
I want to read a book and not fall asleep after 3 pages from sheer exhaustion.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I'll say it again, I love my family, but sometimes some alone time would be great to. Just to recharge the batteries!
L.

I absolutely understand what you are saying!!! Is there a way that you can steal just a couple of hours of "me time"...it isn't selfish..it is going to make you a better wife, a better M. when you come back to "reality"!!! I don't know how old your children are or what your situation is...but can you hire a baby sitter for a couple hours if your husband isn't able/willing to take care of them? Or can you arrange to swap "me time" with a friend...she gives you a couple of hours today..and you give her a couple of hours another day.
Go out to lunch someplace...take a great book to read...have a glass of wine...then take in a movie or just wander through your favorite store.
Go to Barnes and Noble, get a cup of Starbucks coffee and curl up in one of their chairs to read.
Do something that YOU love...you deserve it!!!

Today is one of those days.

I JUST came down the stairs-before everyone wakes up to get a little "me time", and looked around at the TRAIN WRECK that is my home and thought, "WHY. Why do I have to A) clean all day every day or B) live with the mess while doing other stuff for everyone all day. WHY CAN"T ANYONE EVER HELP??!!!"(the hubs always travels, has been gone over a month and won't be back until late April-totally normal, he hasn't been home more than 2 months at a time in the past 3 years) And yes the 5 year old and 3 year old can help a little (loosely speaking), but the 20 month old, not so much, and she undoes anything we do. So yeah, I wish I could have A) a full staff of help or B) a getaway. A day on the couch in front of my movies, on the phone with my friends, eating my snacks, drinking wine, and doing NOTHING for anyone. With no interruption. And no questions. And no trips back and forth to the kitchen a zillion times for juice and milk and snacks and trips to the potty all day either and being told, "M., look at this!" ten thousand times per hour. I feel ya, girlfriend.
Well, gotta go clean.

I made a realization recently that I have not laid in the grass and watched the clouds since I was pregnant, which was over 5 years ago, so yes, I know what you mean:)

I don't think I want to be single, but I totally miss my single side, like today, we wanted to go to see a movie, but we miss the 9pm, and everything after that was "too late" since we have to take care of the kids tomorrow and maybe husband falls to sleep in the movie theater, I can't believe it, what happen to us, oh yeah, we are parents.

I completely understand how you feel. You need and deserve a break......... (and not a 'M.' break where going grocery shopping or working to get away from the kids is a break................) a REAL break......... See if you can plan a girl's weekend away or something... or maybe a weekly exercise class where it's an appointment for you to get away... My sanity saver is jogging or exercising with my mp3 player............ it was working out of the house 2 days a week, but I couldn't afford to keep the job, pay for childcare, and pay for the gas... Now I have to be even more creative to get my 'real breaks.'

Good luck! I hope you get some relief.. :)

Of course I do!!! Every single day of my life!!!! I don't have any help and I NEVER get a day off!!! Welcome to hell, baby!

Sometimes we all feel that way. If you are a stay at home M. it may be harder for you. Why don't you ask your husband if he could take the kids out for a few hours. while they are gone sit in the bathtub and soak and read a nice book. If I really think about it,the thought is nice but at this point I do not know what I would do if my son and my husband were not around.

Maybe it's just me...but I think that anyone who answers to to this question just MUST be lying!!!

Yesterday my husband took the kids out for a little while and my son couldn't believe that I wasn't coming. He said "Won't you be lonely and bored?" What...in an hour or two alone? Not hardly!

Oh and I dearly love my husband and kids...but EVERYONE needs a break sometimes! :) I don't think any of us can appreciate how easy/carefree life is before kids until you have them.

I wouldn't call it "wanting to be single" but yes, I do have those days where I just want to be alone in my own house with no one to answer to.

It doesn't mean that I don't want my husband or kids around. It just means I need a break. And, when this happens I just basically tell my husband that I need "me time" and I usually go to Panera, Corner Bakery, Starbucks, or shopping so I can get away.

i feel like this a lot. my husband isnt a big help and because i dont work as much as he does he wont take responsibility for things around the house or our child. he complains when he has to watch our daughter when i work my whopping 3 hours a day. then if i ask him to take her camping with his parents for the weekend or even just a night all hell breaks loose. its hard but i just bite the bullet.

I'm right there!

I didn't get married til I was about 34 and, believe me, had I not met my husband, I could have lived QUITE happily--ALONE-- for my entire life! I love my hubs & son but I never felt lonely, sad, etc......so I value my alone time--a LOT!

I know exactly what you mean, but for me it's different. I was single for a very long time and I was lonely and felt an emptiness when I was single...it was overwhelming at times. I married 7 years ago and have two more kids. If I think back to those days when I was single....I definitely am grateful that I am where I am today. My kids make me happy. Sure, sometimes it gets hectic, but I wouldn't change it for anything:)

OMG YES! It's even harder when your younger I think. Sometimes I think I married too young (at 26, I'm 27) but when it hits me I realize how lucky I am to have met my hubby and have a baby on the way. I also realize that honestly I'm happier now than I was then. I did my fair share of partying in my early 20's, and got my heart broken ALOT.But sometimes I do miss it once in a while; staying out late, not cooking, drinking, hanging out with my friends, not having to answer to anyone, shopping like there's no tomorrow! I think it's completely normal to feel this way and you are so not alone. I'm sure men think the same thing sometimes and you can't blame them either!

YES! Its only for a short time,but yes, I think everyone goes through this now and then. It is super stressful to be a mommy, wife, woman and do all the things we do and are expected to do. My family views me a superwoman and I totally appreciate that-but its hard to live up to the title all the time: ) I mostly think that when I am stressed and have had it with the day and all that-- I just want peace and quiet and no one to call me for anything! I understand your feelings--good for you for venting. hope your better now and take care!

M

Yes. Yesterday! I was done being anything and anyone but me... I did not want to be wife, M., employee... I just wanted to be free.

And then I met two women. One of them is a friend from a few years ago. She desperately wants kids but is unable to conceive. She looked at my family with such longing that I felt so very guilty for feeling the way I had!

I also met a woman whose grandchildren are now in college. She looked at my family of five, composed of two boys and a girl, my husband and myself, and said, "Just cherish them. These days will go so quickly!" I looked at my boys, one of whom was under the table, the other of whom was loudly asking for more cookies, and thought, "Oh, goodness. Cherish?"

But cherish I will. I'll try, anyway!

Hi, A.:
Get yourself an appointment calendar.
Put everyone's name in each of the spots at the top.
Write in time for yourself each day.
Good luck.
D.

Just last night my husband and I were heading out to our driveway to swap cars and the kids were in the house playing 'jumpy house on the couch cushions'. We looked at each other, keys in hand, and said, "Let's take off to Mexico! The kids won't miss us for at least an hour!"

Definitely! Just had one of those a couple days ago.

Find some time for yourself!

i have those days. When the kids were little it was harder. Now the kids are gone and I miss those days lol. I do suggest though that you make time for you. I go away once a year on a week long catholic womens national conference. its always in a different state. i get some grown up time that is filling me in other ways than just M. stuff. although I found I was a better M. because I took some me time.

Sometimes, but then I remember those days of being single, looking ahead and wishing for what I have now: a great job, an incredible husband and a beautiful son. There were challenges then and there are challenges now, but life is going by too fast to wish it away!

Definitely but then I miss them after a few hours of alone time!!!!

What you're feeling is normal.

I feel like this when it rains. something about the rain makes me want to be carefree.

I have been going through the same thing lately. My husband and I met right out of high school and I had a sheltered childhood so I never really got to experience being single or going out. Now that im 21, my girlfriends and I went out a few times and seeing all the single people and guys flirting with me made me really wish I would was single. Dont get me wrong, I love my husband and our son with all my heart and would never do anything to hurt our marriage but it was nice to have that kind of attention.

Nope! Not that my life is perfect but I don't ever wish to be single. A day to myself, yes, but never on my own again.

"no responsibilities, no guilt feeling, just a long alone time to do whatever you want to do"

I never had that when I WAS single!

My fantasy is my own little condo or cottage...where everything stays quiet and neat and clean...the only noise is music, talking and laughter...no screeching or fighting...aaahhh :)
Yep, as much as I love my husband and kids I do have those days, and that is the "place" I imagine going away to!

I am a SAHM and my husband often complains that I don't let him "relax" enough on his days off.

I get it. And I try to make sure he gets a bit of "me time" on his weekends....

BUT- I remind him that just because I don't bring an income... I do have a full-time job! When he is at work his "customers" seldom spill chocolate milk on the carpet... or draw with crayons on the wall... and he has never had to escort one of them to the potty only have to change their pants when they get there!

And I still have to "work" on the weekends.

So the short answer is "yes, ma'am!" I wouldn't trade my children or my wonderful husband for anything in the world! BUT, I wouldn't mind a week in Hawaii, either! LOL

Go Mamas, Go!
-M.

I think every wife and mother has these feelings, even for one fleeting moment, at some point. It's normal when our lives revolve so completely around these demanding little people that really can't do for themselves. But it gets better. As the kids get older and more independant, we get more quiet moments when everyone is off doing their own thing and fewer of those 'drowning in life' moments.

I know that one day my girls will be all grown up and starting their own lives....so until then I try to relish every day with them. But yeah, some days it's just a countdown to bedtime so I can have a little peace and quiet :o)

When I was single I had responsibilities, I had worries, I had deadlines, I had bills to pay. The difference was that they were all mine - no one to talk to about them, no one to share them wish. I wouldn't be happier being single again unless it lasted no more than roughly five minutes.

What I DO like is a weekend, a day, or even an hour off once in a while, without changing my marital or family status. And that's worth trying for. Sometimes one can get it! Hope you can.

I wish everything you just mentioned, EVERYDAY!!! LMAO!!! but what can i do. I love my family very much! but somedays i wish i could just disappear! ha! you are not alone!

Yes, I have those days. I think they are very normal and totally ok to have. It will get better and this day will not last forever. There is no reason to feel bad about having today. It's just "one of those days."