Do You Always Play a Certain "Role" at Parties/social Events?

sally gave my answer.

Thinking about this, My Sil is you and she some how always knows what drawer the extra forks are in and knows that the host is short on napkins before the host does and has run out to get them and gotten back and folded them into swans before anyone else even realizes it. so when she is in her Helping mode, I need to just stand back.

I like to be the group candid photographer if i can. I like that role.

also we never entertained growing up so i guess i didn't get much practice.

I usually offer to help, but the only time I can get in the kitchen is during clean up. I've found that sometimes, too many people trying to help makes a lot of chaos. It depends on the host and how organized they are. Sounds like your help is welcomed.

For MOST parties that my fiance and I attend we are the ones at the end of the night talking with the couple that got into a large public fight at the event. We are the "emotional clean up crew." Other than that, I am the jack of all trades - I can cook (typical for a family party on my side), I can help entertain, socialize etc. So, there is no one job that I fit into, I think it depends on the grouping/event. Heck, even after my BIL's wedding we were there until 2am smoothing things over with the newlyweds! Mostly we listen and let them vent - and try not to be involved other than repeating things they have already said and nodding along.

Wow, I would love to have you to my house . . . you sound like an angel!

My role is Chatty Kathy. :P

I'm going to try and make sure I help out more, too, at family gatherngs. When they're not at my house I tend to not do as much. But on the flip side, when they're at my house I tend to do much of the work.

Sounds like you are a wonderful helper. I try to help at some party and I also let the close family/friends help at other parties so I do not get in the way. My MIL would complain about certain relatives taking over her event then would turn and complain about others who would not lift a finger. There is a fine line with some people (and their parties). It is important to not make them feel like a failure. I think it is awesome that you have friends/family that take on certain roles (drink mixer and music person).

Most family events occur at my parents and my 5 sisters and I seem to have it completely figured out as to what we are going to do. My brothers and my one sister don't help at all. Before I had kids, I was the late stayer, so I would come later and help clean up. Now that I have a 3 year old and 5 month old twins, I come early, help set up and leave early. We have it decided who comes early and who stays late. As for during the event, we clean up as we see it. We have such a system, that we don't want anyone else to help, they make it worse. When I do go to friends houses, I always offer to help. With my group of friends they always put me to work. As for when I host, I don't like help. I'm a control freak and would prefer to do it myself.

I'm like you I jump in and start helping or will load and run the dishwasher. Then I try to engage the wallflowers try to get them to participate and introduce them to the others. Then when everyone else is leaving I run around and help pick-up, unload and load dishwasher and run again. Wipe down the table(s) take down folding tables, chairs, gather up the garbage ect. When order has been restored I thank the host/hostess for inviting me and go home.

There are givers and takers in this world. You will always be a "giver" , someone who just naturally thinks of others. It will never change and neither will your BIL and his fiance. It's not something you can teach. Just a natural gift you have !!!