Do I Let My Daughter Know About the Attempted Kidnapping in Our Area?

I would want to know more before I start scaring my kids. That sounds too much like a family dispute.

There is no harm in saying we won't send strangers to pick you up from school but beyond that it may scare more than it is worth.

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See that is the reason I don't like over scaring my kids. They see danger where there isn't any. There was a story of a kid who almost died lost in the woods because his parents scared him so bad he was hiding from the rescue workers.

When my daughter was 5, she looked similar to a girl that had been abducted in MN. When we were going through the Canadian border, she was asked several questions by the patrol. I thought it a bit odd the questions they asked until I remembered the recent abduction. She overheard M. comment to someone about it and was terrified about being abducted for a very long time. It was hours away from where we lived, but it really scared her.

Cover the basics of strangers, but leave out the specifics of the incident IMO. She won't understand how this isn't similar to her and that she doesn't walk alone, etc.

I agree with you, go over some basic safety rules, but do not mention the incident. Ask her grandparents to Please not mention it to her and assure them you have taught her basic safety rules.

It's always good to remind kids about not going off with anyone. And they might mention it in school, so you should let her know anyway so that she has the correct story and not a whisper down the lane story. You don't have to go into the whole thing, J. keep it as simple as possible.

I would J. do the stranger danger talk and leave out the specifics.

Well, first of all, and quickly, talk to her dad and grandparents and let them know how you decide to handle this. Tell them they need to respect your choice about whether or not to tell her because it will confuse and upset her if you don't tell her but they do. If you want J. to reinforce general safety and not talk about this attempt, they need to do the same and not bring up details.

On the other hand -- If the school is sending home a note about this, I would bet that most kids, certainly in the upper elementary grades, all know about it and are talking about it a lot in school. Rumors probably are spreading. She may already have heard about it and may know more than you realize -- and being kids, the students may have details wrong or may be blowing up the story to something even worse than actually happened. I would start talking to her in general terms about remembering safety, not getting into cars or even near cars, etc. and see if she seems uncomfortable or seems to be reluctant to say something to you -- she may want to talk about this if she's heard about it at school, and you need to be open to the idea of talking to her about it. An "any questions? You know you can talk to M. about anything, any time" approach would be good. See if she brings it up.

There are good videos called "The Safe Side" which explains safety around strangers. Available at lots of public libraries or online. Not scary, and they do not show kids ever fighting someone off.

At 12 I would not be surprised if she had heard about it from a friend. J. choose your words carefully and be calm when discussing. If you are nervous, she will be. Then you are setting her up for problems.

We get those calls from the school district from time to time maybe once a year). I would NOT tell your 6 yr old child it doesn't concern her - and the story may be more elaborate than reality. The school district has to go above and beyond the normal response for liability purposes.

The kids will talk and your child may come home from school saying someone got kidnapped, we have to watch out so we don't get kidnaped, etc. Be matter-of-fact about it and don't show fear - tell your child that we always need to be careful and dismiss it,

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I'd talk to her about stranger danger in generic terms. Even from a young age, the sks knew what to do if anyone tried to grab them. Take the time to reinforce what kinds of things she should do if she is alone or someone tries to grab her away from her parents. Don't help a stranger find their puppy, for example. Don't get off the bus and help a stranger with directions. We were at a park and SD (about 7) wandered off to pet someone's dog and we read her the riot act for doing so. If the kid has the ability to leave your side, she needs to know what to do and not do. Has little do do with the specific incident in question other than you can throw that example in. Further, the kids at school might be talking about it, so keep your ears open for her saying something or asking questions.

Frankly, you NEED to talk to your child. Six years old is certainly old enough to already be aware of stranger danger and even "what to do if someone you know hurts you" danger. Risking scaring your child is the LEAST of your concerns.

I would definitely go over safety rules for both strangers and what to do when it's someone you know. I would also explain that you're going over these rules now because something happened to a child in town, and then give only a couple of basic details from the story.

A little fear isn't a bad thing. I'm always puzzled when I read things like this. Give your child a little credit. Of course they'll be surprised and shocked that people would do such a thing. Of course it'll scare them and maybe "freak" them out a little. LET that happen and them empower them with safety tips and what to do if something does happen ie. no secrets and always tell Mom no matter who it is. Pay attention to details and do what it takes to survive.

I would definitely have a talk with her. My daughter and 5 and my son is 3 and they already know if someone tries to take them, get them in a car, help with a puppy, give them free candy, etc that they are to run away and yell and kick and scream.

I did hear good advice from a friend - instead of teaching 'stranger danger' - teach about people who could hurt them. Reason being is that if someone comes to your kid and introduces themselves, they are no longer a 'stranger'. Ya know? Teach your kids to never go anywhere without asking you first, never help an adult (they never need help from little kids), never keep a secret for them, etc.

It may be scary, but i'd rather my kids be scared of people they don't know than overly nice. J. saying...

I'd wait to see if she brings it up. When she does you can help her put it in perspective. Did you express your concern about when they showed her the video? Perhaps they learned that this is not a good thing to bring up.

I would discuss my concern with my husband so that the two of you can show a united front.

If you haven't already talked about safety issues, yes, do that.

In my opinion, now is about the age you can start scaring them. Any younger and it would probably backfire. I have a 7 year old - I do scare her a bit to get her to pay attention, otherwise she J. says "uh huh mom" and goes back to playing. Sometimes a little fear is necessary to realize the seriousness of the situation. And when I say scare, I mean I make it very clear that if someone tries to get her to take candy, help them find a puppy, their kid, etc that they are not always nice and may try to take her and she will never see us again if that happens. I teach her what to do if someone tries to take her.

The video the grandparents showed maybe went a little far, and like others pointed out, this particular incident may not be the perfect one to use as an example....but I am very honest with my kids at this age. We talk about the fact that not adults are good and honest, and I teach them what to do if someone tries to take them. I agree with the others that you should talk about it, and play it by ear as to whether you want to bring in details. You may not need to.

Best wishes mama!

I think it's a good idea to let a kid know how to fight back and when to be extra alert, no matter their age. Talking to her about it in a clam manner will be good, especially since she is likely to hear something at school.