Do All Moms Hit This "Rock Bottom" at One Point or Another?

I don't know about all moms, but definitely THIS mom!

I found a very liberating phrase last year:

It may well be my job, BUT... you are NOT my boss.

I then went on in quite a bit of detail, that was particular to our marriage which essentially broke down to the fact that I wouldn't accept being treated the way I was being treated by ANY boss. The micromanaging, the disrespect, etc so forth and so on really put my husband on his heels.

I also went on to highlight that all the things he DIDN'T have to do all the single and divorced men out there were *perfectly* capable of doing themselves, as he had been when HE was single... and as he might have to do again if I got sick and tired of being treated like some employee and "quit my job to find better work". That being married did NOT mean "gaining an employee much less a servant". And if he thought so he could durn well start paying me by the hour for all the work I DID do. In my case that meant 40-80hours of nannying (at $2500 per 40), 20 or so hours of cleaning (at $60 per hour) just to tip the iceberg (not counting personal shopper, personal assistant, prostitute, teacher -we homeschool, saving us 15k per year-, etc.), AND he had better durn well start giving me 2 weeks of paid vacation a year, sick days, etc.

Wife or employee. HIS choice.

Don't take this the wrong way. Are you married or aren't you?
You refer to him as your husband and yourself as a wife, but your wedding keeps being postponed.
Are you married and just didn't have the actual "wedding"?
I only ask because even though you are an established family, could you be feeling some resentment that you aren't actually married?
People who ARE married have these struggles, especially with little kids at home. I just wonder if you feel you've given up so much of yourself without the actual committment being there.
I have a friend who was with her "man" for 7 years. They called each other husband and wife but deep down, she resented all the things she did for him and for their children (hers, his and theirs) because deep down, she wasn't his wife. She was the woman who made everything work. She was the one who kept the house and the kids and the animals and a man happy when she had nothing left for herself. She got a job.
It made her feel good about herself because she had other people noticing how intelligent she was and she felt like a part of the world. It gave her a lot of confidence. Other women got their nails done, she started painting hers. Other women got their hair highlighted. She had me come and help her do hers. She started wearing make-up. Her "husband" didn't like it.
At first.
Her job was at home and la la la la fricking la.
He had to start helping with the kids and the house and the animals.
They got married.
She still works.
He still helps and so do the kids.
My point is that you can't get lost in everything if you don't let it happen.
It's easier said than done. But, you have every right to look after yourself. Kids need a strong mom and by strong, I don't mean breaking her back for everyone else.
If you have resentments, whatever they may be, you need to communicate them because they will only build.
We all sacrifice as moms, but we don't have to give up things that make up the very cores of our being.
I think all moms have times where they just want to run away from home.
Allow yourself to feel that way and find something that is just for you.
Don't tell yourself you don't have time to shave your legs. Just do it.
The house and kids won't fall apart.
Don't let him or you tell yourself all the things you can't do.
If you have a man that isn't appreciating you, girl....you have to get busy appreciating yourself.

I wish you the very best!

Oh momma, you are not alone. It sounds like you have a combination of a lot of factors that set up a near perfect storm that isn't letting you see clearly. First of all take a deep breath, you are not alone and you and your kids are going to be okay. I would really encourage you to see a doctor as many of the issues you are describing sound like depression. A little help from your doctor can go a looooong way and most primary care doc's can help with this.

As a military family, what you are describing is similar to what our families struggle with. 80% travel time is a lot and it makes it very hard to identify your husband as a part of the family and not this opinionated guest who comes to visit in your house every now and again. When he comes home with judgement it's enough to make you want to rip out your hair. You are dealing with everything in the house ALL the time without him, making decisions for the kids all the time, getting them to the doctor appointments and school and whatever activities come after that. You deal with telling them "no, we can't afford that," and field the "why is dad always gone?" questions. It's a burden to be married with a spouse that is gone all the time, trust me. You are being superwoman at home and he comes back all grouchy and wanting things perfect and that is absurd.

I can also relate to the loneliness giving up your carrier causes. You were the go-getter, the woman of action and you liked to see measurable progress. You provided for yourself, took care of yourself and were independent. When we get stuck at home, no matter how much we love our kids, we loose that important part of ourselves for a while. It's not gone, but it does get smothered. Diapers and laundry don't do much to stimulate your mind and that can be a dangerous thing for us woman who are not 100% fulfilled by staying at home. It's enough to make you not really care about your toes being painted or how shiny your hair is.

It sounds like you and your man could really use some marriage counseling. I know that sounds impossible because you already have so little time but I would really encourage you to try and carve some out at least once a month. If you can't afford a sitter, try doing what a lot of what us mom's in the military do and trade babysitting with someone else. You don't have to be great friends, just mom's who need a night out. They watch your kiddos one weekend and the you watch theirs. No need to exchange cash. I understand how super hard it can be to get a babysitter with no family help, it's maddening but it can be done.

On that note, try and see if you can get a few hours a month to yourself! Just one day of you time can make a huge difference. If you can get a date with your man from time to time that would be great as well. Perhaps the two of you can schedule a time to sit down, after the kids are in bed, and discuss what you each expect of one another. Ask him about the meals, see if there is something going on with that (on a side note, it sounds like he could be depressed himself, or something else is amiss) You each need to communicate better with one-another.

This is not all on you, momma. You both need to work together to fix your home life. That means he needs to step up as well. If he isn't willing to do that then I would suggest you really take a hard look at your relationship. You sound like an awesome woman and I really hope he can see that too. Remind yourself that the fight isn't between the two of you but with outside factors. It's easy to take out our frustrations on the people we love the most.

Take a breath, give yourself a break and acknowledge all the work you do every day. Let yourself feel good about the kids being clean and fed. Give yourself a pat on the back for the laundry you got done or the chores you did (again!) today. It all counts, it's all work and you should be proud of yourself for it. Good luck momma!

Been there.. Not exactly like you but been there where I thought " who am I".....
I used to work at a nightclub for 8 years (where I would get hit on left and right), go out with friends, be able to sleep 8-9 hours per night, NEVER took any medications,laughed all the time, had a strong personality ,workout 6 days per week ( I kick boxed until I was 8 months pregnant), etc etc etc..... Now, I've become somewhat depressed, have to FORCE myself to workout, have NO desire to go out, have become very timid and detached from the world, started having TONS of sleeping issues due to problems with my crazy MIL and had to get on xanax for sleeping. I quit working at the nightclub 2 years ago because I thought it was just time to retire ( at age 30 lol)...
THANKFULLY I have the most amazing husband in the world that has a great job BUT he works ALL THE TIME!!!!
So yes, I did hit rock bottom (and have been there for about 1.5 years on and off)... I have gone to talk to someone because I never thought I would be "that person".... I've come to realize, there's A LOT of people that "appear" to have normal lives but really go through the same things that the rest of us do, life! Take a deep breath and realize your not alone... I think a lot of us are trying to find ourselves....
I was never a religious person.. I believed in god but wasn't religious... I recently got saved and have been going to church every week... I feel a lot better knowing I have someone to talk to of a higher power...I needed a church that was very down to earth that I could relate to... It took 4 churches to find the right one. Look in to healing classes at the church also..
Good luck!

Wow! First of all, I'm so impressed by all of the support posted here on this question! Secondly, in the interest of your time I'm going to keep this short and to the point.

1. Understand I can totally empathize with you. I've been through bouts of depression, my husband is away with the military a lot, we way overspent on our wedding last July AND bought a house and are now THOUSANDS of dollars in debt. It's tough. There have been some VERY stressful periods in the last couple years.

2. YOU NEED TO GET HAPPY! I agree with someone who said to get to your doctor. I did that when I hadn't stopped crying and only fought fought fought with my then-fiance. Apparently stress depletes the hormones that regulate your mood. My doctor prescribed a natural, over the counter supplement called SAM-E along with exercise (walking, yoga, anything), and believe it or not, massage. It helped.

3. You need to inject some "you" back into your life! You're losing yourself and its making you miserable. I know it seems like you don't have time for that, but maybe make some concessions here and there, start with just a half hour morning walk. I'm guessing some of your "have to's" really aren't. They just feel that way. Let some of it go!

4. Ok. So you're in debt. Your husband hates his job but you need the money. While my husband doesn't hate his job(s), he is extremely hard working (overworked in my opinion) and spend most of his time traveling because of his jobs (pilot). I realized that his stress at our financial situation was making him miserable. And a miserable husband makes me more miserable. Solution? Help out with the debt resolution. I went for the quickest, most interesting, best paying thing I could get my hands on (I'm now a Stylist for Stella & Dot). Best decision I've made so far. The pay is great (and keeps getting better), I set my schedule, and bonus--I get out of the house, meet like-minded fun ladies, and hence, get my "me time" while I'm working. And my husband is much more manageable now that I'm helping out. It's easy to do part time and most of the Stylists are very part time because of the young children at home. It might worth checking out~www.stelladot.com/karlee123/our-opportunity

5. It may seem overwhelming now, but I promise the only way things will get better is if you get happy again. The fights will decrease, the homelife will be better, your bills will be paid again, and you can move on with your otherwise GREAT life!

I agree with Paige M. Marriage counseling seems like a good step, too. You and your husband are a team and you're at odds with each other right now because you've forgotten that and have gotten wrapped up in your stress instead. You need to be on each others' sides! YOU CAN FIX THIS! Good luck! Chin up!

love K.

It may help to remember that this stage of your life is temporary. the kids will be in preschool, elementary school in just a few years and you can go back to teaching without paying for two kids in daycare. Think about when will be the best time for you to return to the workplace and how you can prepare for this. The great thing about being a teacher is you can take your whole summer to be a full time mom and have most of the same winter, spring break, Presidents Day etc as your kids.
Print Riley J's post out so you can re read it daily! But YOU need to stop the complaining, it wont make your husband change, it will drive him away. Tell him how you feel as if you're talking to a boss, co worker not a husband. Remember he is not responsible for your happiness, you are. and your unhappiness, anger and bitterness is probably rubbing off on him. Tell him you love him very much but he is showing he is unhappy with you and perhaps he is trying to end the marriage, tell him you value your marriage and want to do what's best for your kids (stay with their father) but you cant do it alone. be careful to say these things with I statements I feel, I think ... I'm trying to understand why it seems like we....I love you but I'm not sure you still love me. say it all calmly.
FIRST you need to find the time to read some books about communication in marriage. Mars and Venus In Touch is short and fast to read anything about marriage by Gary Chapman. these will help you in how you communicate with him effectively. You can buy these books cheaply(used) on Amazon or Betterworld books or ....or go to the library.
These books have really helped me to communicate with my DH and we've had some conversations about when we don't communicate well. But I've also made it my goal to find some things that make me happy (reading books for fun, yoga,getting my hair done) and to struggle to find the time for them because a happier Mommy makes a happier family.

I have struggled at times with being a SAHM, but never to this extent. I think you have a lot going on here. You have lost your identity and your husband doesn't seem to appreciate your "job". Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. Maybe you could go back to work in the fall. Or, maybe work PT at Sylvan Learning Center or similar type place. It would probably help if you had someone to talk to. You can usually get free or less expensive counseling through a church. Hang in there, girl!

Sounds ilke you are ina depression. Speak to your family doctor or OB/GYN right away and consider antidepressants - at least for now to get you out of this funk.

There are a lot of things going on in your life right now - and some of them wil resolve on their own - but some need action on your part.

1 - Realize that being a mom of young children is a very very tough job and isolating. GET to the park with the kids on days that you can. Someone who hasn't been home with the kids 24/7 don't realize how all-consuming they can be. For your own mental health leave the dishes in the sink, allow the laundry to pile up for a day or two and get the kids in the stoller and go out side - walk around, play with your little ones at the playground. If weather doesn't allow it then go to the Mall - not so shop just to give your kids a place to stretch their legs and run. Many churches have groups called MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers) you can find a local group at: www.mops.org. Don't let the fact that they are connected to a church put you off - they are regular moms just like you who could easily go off the deep end becuase they spend their lives catering to the needs of other people.
2) You aregetting angry and bitter becuas your whole life has become taking care of other people's needs and you're not getting so much as a scintilla of thanks or praise. So much of mother-hood is like this. My suggestion - try this experiment: praise your husband for the things he does that are "expected" - yard work , cars, working to support the family. Just try it for a week or two. don't make a big deal of the praise - just off-handed - "honey thanks for doing the yard work - it looks nice, I don't tell you enough how I appreciate all you do" - while you continue to fold socks or clean the bathroom. I think we all feel un-appreciated for all the things we do that are expected. Maybe he'll learn from your example.

3 - Did he just get critical since the JOP marriage or was that building before? Maybe he just doesn't know how to handle his feelings about marriage and family? Consider a counselor - if he won't go with you go on your own.

4 - Consider being a tutor. In my area tutoring is very lucrative. Parents pay huge amounts of money to get their kid to learn math - especially middle school and high school math. At $50 an hour (aroudn here) you can pay a high school kid to babysit a couple'few late afternoons or saturday mornings a week and go tutor some kids who need math help. If you're good word of mouth will spread and soon you'll have plenty of jobs. Use Craigslist, bulletin boards at the grocery store, shop windows where parents frequent (dry cleaner, starbucks, etc)

This is a temporary phase in a family - it's the toughest when the kids are little but you'll get through it - I know you will!

Your husband is going to have to come to terms that you need to work outside of the home. Go back to work. You need this for yourself. You need to have a life and be your own person.

He is cutting you off from your family and friends. But you are letting him.

You need to at least take one night a week and hire a babysitter and go do something with your friends if you can find any still around.

It is not about whether yo are a good mom or not, obviously you are an awesome mom but you need some time for yourself. We all do.

Yep. Husband is in the military (preparing for deployment) and we have one son (3 & a half years old and autistic) and 5-month old twin girls. DH has already mentally spent our tax return when we haven't even gotten it yet and I literally have nightmares about how we're going to afford diapers for three kids. Showers now seem like a luxury and when I occassionally lament how few pictures I have of me with my children, I realize I avoid cameras since brushing my hair is hardly a daily occurance and putting makeup on seems like a joke.

Nope... I don't recognize the person in the mirror most days, but no time to stand there and dwell about it.

For me, the time when my three kids were little was the hardest. There was never enough money, no breaks, no sleep, I didn't sit down all day, I suffered anxiety at times and went through a couple of bouts of hypochondria.

I think never getting any rest or a break will do that.

I don't have any good solutions for you, and this economy is certainly making things worse for people, but for me, anyway, life got SO much easier once the kids got older. And I got most if not all of myself back.

There are a few strains on my marital relationship left over from the way my husband dealt with those difficult years, but we're definitely through the worst of it, and on the way to rebuilding "Us."

So, there is a light at the end of the long tunnel, if that's any help. Sorry I can't give you more concrete ideas. Make sure you have lots of mom friends -- join a co-op preschool, or become a member of MOPS, or something. That helps a lot.

First of all, stop SHOULDING on yourself. Repeat after me: "I will not should on myself" And I mean 'should' nothing else. You have quite a few unrealistic expectations for yourself and that is dragging you way down. If cute toenails are important to you, then you make a trade. You give up shredding carrots for your special sit down dinner and buy them preshredded. If you want more money (and by golly I work at a middle school as an assistant and those teachers make very good incomes) then you make another trade. You upgrade and become hirable again and furthermore you said you love husband so much it hurts, then you use that hurt to make your life turn around. It takes a little bravery, but not all people reach that rock bottom. You are shoulding on yourself and you need not to. Hubby doesn't get some of this, but you still love him and you should go on to pursue your own happiness. And your job is the TOUGHEST JOB on earth. A MOTHER is doing the biggest strongest hardest no commas here, job on earth and you need to get everyone else's voices out of your head and keep your own there. They can say all they want but why do you have to believe them? I give you permission to take the time you would spend right now reading all of these posts (okay you just read mine) and you go into the bathroom, or the garage or wherever you shave and GO for it. Please, you are a good, kind obviously caring person and mother. GET RID Of the nuts in your head and give yourself permission to take care of you.

R.,
You are not alone, and whether we want to admit it or not , we ALL go thru this sort of thing to one degree or another at some time in our Adult life esp if we happen to be Moms. We get so wrapped up in the Mommy role, we lose sight of who we are as people outside of that role. You have to also remember you have to take care of you well, before you can take care of everybody else, or we/you don't end up doing as good a job as we could.
Take time for you everyday, even if it is 10 minutes here and 10 minutes there. When Hubby is home allow yourself a little extra time, and have a heart to heart with him and try to explain, motherhood and wife does not define you (is small parts of who you are and want to be) ,and is not "your Job" , marriage and motherhood are partnerships.Marriage and parenthood both take 2 people to work well, one appreciatting the contributions and efforts of the other . He can help more with the kids when he's home, he baths them and does bedtime and you soak in a tub for 20 minutes ! He can make calls even while he's out of town to help out a little more. Let him know they may be small things to him, but, they are huge for you.
Set your self some goals , something small everyday, or even by the week. ,Taking time for you everyday could be your goal #1. Spend some down time with the kids, get outside or watch a movie together a couple of times a week, Hubby included if he's home. And he may need to be reminded that he is not just Bread winner, he still has to be a husband and Dad. He may not be hungrty when you cook but, that doesn't mean he can't sit at the table with everyone else and help set up and clean up, he's supposed to set an example for the kids too ! Parenting is a Full time thing , not just when it's convenient. Go to the library and get some self help books, Dr Phil's (or even his wife's) books are great. Read some when the kids are down for a nap. As far as the house, do what you can when you can, be organized about it, make a list of the things you want to accomplish and mark 'em off when they're done, it 'll give you a sense of accomplishment on a daily basis. And the #1 priority is to make sure your kids are happy and healthy, everything else can wait, you leave in a home ,not a museum, and you only get to raise your kids once, if they are crying for your attention ,give them some, they are only little once. On the other hand, you obviously can't drop everything 24 /7 , but go easy on yourself, play with your kids, you'll both be happier. Touch base with a friend, have a mom's night off or Sat. afternoon. Go do something for yourself, even if it's just a walk or a movie and let Dad handle the kids and the house for a little while, it won't hurt him to walk a mile in heels, LOL. !!
If hubby isn't home, get a sitter for an hr or trade off time with another Mom.
And, remember that ol saying- If Momma ain't happy . ain't nobody happy !

Lots of luck and Best Wishes, C.

{{{{HUGS!!!}}}}

(and don't forget to just breathe)

ALOT of your post sounded just like me! Unfortunately I havent figured out what exactly I need to do get "myself" back either.
I am totally out of shape and disgusted with myself. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, or in the shower :( My head spins when I think about trying to diet, because I have no will power. And I know diets do not work. It has to be a life change.
I go no where that doesnt involve grocery shopping, Dr appt., buying diapers or with both kids in tow. I have no motivation, am exhausted by 9 every night, and irritable most days. When we do make plans to leave the house alone I find myself not even wanting to go!
I used to work as well. Paid my own bills, came and went as I pleased, had a social life. Like you, I adore my kids and am blessed to be home with them, but we absolutely need to make time and a life for ourselves outside the house. My marriage isnt suffering, but I bet if you could feel better about yourself your marriage would improve as well. Or vice versa. One step at a time. I dont really have any advice, just wanted to say you're not alone with how you feel. Keep your head up, and make a first step. I know thats what Im going to try and do. For me, my kids and my marriage!

I really hope you seek out some counseling.

You two need a good start over, he needs to help you out and yes, have sit down family dinners. My husband and I share chores, he cooks dinner every other night and on the weekends, we cook dinner together. He watches the kids at night for me to go run out and do things for alone time.

You need to make it a goal to shower every day, shower, put on some make-up and go to the library or to the park. Who cares if it takes 20 extra minutes to do it, you need to do it for yourself. A person who is running on empty cannot give fully of themselves to another.

I saw the suggestion of a sylvan learning center or an after school tutor, that would be wonderful for you since you have math teaching and wouldn't require the full time day care for the children.

Try joining a play group or something, get a job at the ymca or child care center so your children can come with you, you can earn a little income and you can get out of the home for a while.

As far as leaving the marraige, I think if you both work on it together, it can certainly be salvaged! Communicate openly, kindly, caringly, explain your needs and expectations.

Don't strive for perfection, it's okay to not have a perfectly clean sink or laundry always done all the time. I have a pretty clean home, we wipe down bathrooms/kitchen and such every day and it makes clean up a breeze, so if the kitchen looks bad for a day or I have 4 piles of laundry, I'm okay with that b/c the home is 'clean'... just lived in. Getting rid of excess toys/clutter/clothes... really helps with that too.

Anyways, here are 3 short little (like 3 minute) touching videos on marriage. If you two are intent on getting married, have a small, private backyard wedding. Or go and elope! It doesn't have to be a big,. expensive ceremony. I hope you can watch them together and decide to really make things work;

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

and I love this little video of what it means to be 'a man':
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

Really, reinvent yourself, Go back to some favorite hobbies or learn some new ones... and most importantly, date each other again.. eve if you start small and have to force yourself in the beginning, it pays off! Here are some cute ways to get that back:
http://ldsliving.com/story/63528-30-days-to-a-more-romant...

Ahhhhh...the twists and turns in life. Yikes! You are not alone! What has helped me.....friends; who you trust and vent to. Find a MOM's group that meets with their kids, instant play group for your kids. Look for them at churches, community education, etc. Surround yourself with positive support. Hang in there!

first of all, take a DEEP breath....hold it....then release & try to force all of those negative thoughts right out of your mind!

Yes, you are going thru a rough time. Yes, you have a huge load of stress. & YES, you have options.

Financially: since not working or working PT is pushing your finances further into the hole, I truly think it's time to go back to teaching. In the meantime, start applying to work as a sub & for your local tutoring programs such as Sylvan. This will help brush up on your skills, help open doors to a full-time position, & help pop you out of your emotional state.

& if your husband doesn't like it, then tough. He hasn't done much to further himself, has he? At least you will know that you are doing your very best to help pull your family out of the hole. & if your marriage does not survive this time of testing, then you will be in a position financially to live on your own. Either way it's a "win-win" point for you!

Daycare: look at your inner circle for help with childcare. Let friends/family help until you secure a full-time position. Then switch to a daycare/babysitter, if the inner circle isn't working once you have a better job.

Marriage: seek counseling for yourself....even if your DH won't support you in this effort. BUT, I truly think that life will settle down once your finances are in better shape! Debt takes a huge toll on relationships. Peace.....

My advice is to find a church and get involved in a small group.
You might try http://www.radiantchurch.com/about.asp

Also, http://www.proverbs31.org is a very encouraging site.

Praying that God sustains you!

Have you seen a doctor about depression? You may want to consider going to counseling with your fiance before you get married. Your children are a priority at this age when they are at home all the time, but you need to make yourself a priority too.

You have to find sometime for yourself. Number 3 will be here soon, and I have a 2 and a 3 year old. Get up before your kids every morning take your shower, put some make-up on and get dressed for the day. This makes the day go better for me. We have a pretty nice routine and I take the kids somewhere almost everyday. If money is an issue there are so many free things to do, but it makes the day more fun and we don't feel couped up inside all day when we go do something. I try and do a few chores everyday so it doesn't accumulate and then overwhelm me. I am not a neat freak but my house is tidy most of the time. I also do I quick pick up at night because I hate to wake up to a mess in the morning, it instantly makes me dread the day. Are your kids on a bedtime routine? I put my kids to bed at 7:30 every night. I know this sounds mean (but I am not and my kids go right to sleep) but I don't mess around with bedtime. I NEED that time at the end of the day. Snack, bath, stories, and bed. I clean up real quick, then that is my me time. I watch t.v., read, have dessert, and this is the time where if I need to straighten my hair or paint my nails I could do it, and I also take care of anything I need to, budget, forms, etc. Can you get a gym membership? Working out does wonders and you would get a break everyday. I think the Y is income based, if not you can work in the childcare center for a few hours a week, take your kids there, and you would have a family membership and a few extra bucks. Could you tutor kids in your home and just pay a teenager to play with your kids in another room? What about working at a pre school and your kids could attend the school? I am not suggesting you don't do enough already it just sounds like you need to get out of the house and have something just for you. I don't have any advice but I know my hubby would never make a comment about the order the house was in cause I would be furious, I do the best I can. Talk to the hubster about being more supportive and what you need from him. ANyways this is what I do for my sanity.

My pastor this week was telling us a bout a town in PA called Roseto. They have a much lower rate of all bad things - heart disease, divorce, alcoholism, suicide, etc etc than the rest of the nation. Scientists went to study thier diet, that wasn't it, the water/air quality, that wasn't it. On and on until they finally decided it was the sense of community. In most houses 3 generations live together. They take care of each other. They call it the Roseto Effect. "People are nourished by other people." You sound so alone. I wish I were there to give you a hug and take over with the kids so you could go get your nails done! I've felt this way a time or 2 myself. It helps to have community around to lean on. Someone to take the kids for an afternoon, someone to listen when things get bad. I encourage you to join something in your community. Get connected. If that's a church or a MOPS group or even a helathclub, book club, something. You need other women to have your back. That's the great thing about this site, but it doesn't make up for real face to face interaction.