Dinnertime Issues

If you don't really enjoy cooking, how about using one of the meal prep places? I like to cook, but I rely on them whenever I don't have the time. We've used Dream Dinners but there are others too...Supper Solutions is another. They've done all the tough stuff(shopping, planning, chopping) and it's a decent solution to what to serve.

As your evenings are a bit eratic and husband is home late , could you and the kids eat your evening meal at lunch time? That way the kids get a cooked meal and sit with at least one parent at mealtime. Give your picky eater a little selection of what your having so you all have the same.Then at what would be dinner time , tell your husband that he must sit to the table and have a light snack , maybe what you would have had at lunch time....a sandwich or salad maybe...again let your daughter have the same so that she can see that mom & dad eat and enjoy food. You may find that if you are all sat together and eating the same that she is not picky after all , she may just be thinking 'well they are not eating so why should I'.

Good luck

You are experiencing common mealtime challenges. The good news is that you can overcome them. It just takes a little planning. Once you incorporate a couple of time-saving tactics, like pre-cooking chicken breasts and brown rice (which stays nicely in your refrigerator for 5 days), dinner will no longer be such a challenge.

Getting picky children to eat the food you make is another issue that can be reversed. I know you'll find this site very helpful on all counts. Look around, there are helps, recipes, and nutritional info.
http://www.BabyBites.info

I'm a Dream Dinners meal prep owner in Wheat Ridge and Denver and I really think you should try us out! It's a franchise and our home office actually kid tests all the menu items so most kids like the stuff on our monthly menu. As a customer already said, we do ALL the prep work...buying the ingredients, and doing all the chopping, slicing, etc. so that all you do is put the recipes together. And you can alter the recipes to your own tastes if you prefer. People often think it is expensive to do this, but because we are able to buy in bulk, it is actually cheaper than going to the grocery store. Our guests come in once a month for about an hour and a half, and make enough meals for the month. And the cooking instructions are right on the meal so it will tell you exactly how to cook it after you are home. The meals usually take 20-30 minutes to prepare at dinnertime and it really helps parents with busy schedules like yours. Feel free to call us if you have questions....###-###-####. I hope that helps!

C.

Foods a 2 year old will eat are ones she helps create! My 5 year old son is STILL picky about his foods, but if he feels he has a hand in it he's much less reluctant to try and usually find out he likes it. Something I started was Pizza...No not ordering out and everyone doing their own thing. I bought a bunch of different ingredients and flour tortilla shells. We all stood around in the kitchen and we taught my son how to make a pizza. We let him choose his own toppings. (It usually ends up being no sauce, cheese, other cheese, pepperoni's, and pineapple. Then we bake them in the oven ~10-15 min. Even if you can't get everyone to sit down at the table together, make a movie and pizza night. Rent a kid movie and enjoy your creations together in the living room. I set a plastic placemat on the floor for my son, to avoid carpet spills.

Another thing I used is the "happy plate" I told my son his plate doesn't like to be full of food so he's gotta eat it all so he can have a happy plate!! This usually involves some sort of extrinsic motivator (i.e. ice cream for dinner-that HE gets to pour the chocolate sauce on)

If you end up cooking by yourself, make sure you give your family a "warning" of when dinner will be ready. This lets them prepare to finish up what they are doing and they will be ready when you are. I use a timer a lot, "when this beeps then it's time for dinner" this also works for bed, time to come inside etc.

Good luck

Tackle one thing at a time:
-Establish a dinner time, knowing of course it will be a little variable with a baby in the picture.
-Get a few new placemats, something your little one can help put on the table to get ready for dinner.
-When thinking of dinner things think about what you would order if you ate out. What restaurants do you like to go to? Mexican-make bean and cheese burritos, add taco meat, lettuce and avocados if you're feeling adventurous. Hamburgers? Get a mini George Foreman grill, hamburger meat and a little steak seasoning and grill your own burgers at home. Chinese? Instant rice, stir fry with soy sauce, ginger, peas and egg. Add steamed veggies. It doesn't have to be hard. And you don't need to resort to hamburger helper and chicken nuggets...because once you get the hang of making something every night you'll be back to ask how to wean your kids of chicken nuggets :)

Start getting prepped to make dinner 30 mins to an hour before your set dinner time and make yourself do it. Some days are a LOT harder than others...for those days cheese sticks, cut up fruits and veggies with crackers is a totally acceptable dinner.

For the toddler, she may not be that hungry at night. My DD eats like a hobbit with 1st breakfast, 2nd breakfast, 11sies, lunch, snack and then nothing for dinner (no matter how tempting the meal) Sometimes kids front load their calories and just don't like big dinners. Don't make it a battle, put something on a plate...she'll either eat or not.

GL!! Start small, you'll get there!

Dear A.-
You can do it girl, take this time back. This is the most important bonding time for a family. A MAJOR challenge but possible. I try to keep it simple, three things a night. A protein, veggie/fruit and a bread or starch.
Some examples might be chicken nuggets/ tator tots and a big salad. Or noodles and sauce (a jar of sauce makes it simple), steam some brocholi in the microwave and a loaf of french bread. Or tacos, chili, or homemade (bobali) pizza. You can alway add kid's favs like a side of yogurt or sliced bananas,apples or grapes.
I think it is just important to all sit down together, even for 15 min. Start out small, try two nights a week and build. We all say a simple prayer or thank you before dinner too. This too can be very simple. That starts it all.
As for the picky eater part, we teach them this. Start to reintroduce foods that you enjoy. Remember you are the boss and she will eat well if you do. Also check out Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook.
Good Luck-S.

dinner time is so important to keep family close, but let's face it ..we are SO busy, right!? cooking can be tough and making the time to cook, then sit together, then clean is tough too. we are struggling in this area also.

My husband and i decided a couple weeks ago that we are going to take 30 mins - 1 hour per day to make dinner and sit and eat togehter. when we're busy, we make something super quick and when we're not we'll try to make something a little more healthy and yummy and exciting. the most important part is sitting and talking and teaching the kids manners and patience and also the joy in having a conversation. i like asking my 4 year old about his day while my husband and i are talking about ours - he feels like such a grownup! Maybe we can work on this together and catch up in a couple weeks to see how we did. :) Good luck! ... P.S. ... cooking can be fun with the right recipes!

I struggle with dinner tinme as well but not what you are going through. I would set dinner time that best suits your kids and yourself since you husband gets home late. AS the kids get older they will inderstand why dadddy is not able to eat with them becasue he is not home at dinnertime. Make it a point to have faily dinner with him on the days he is not home late. We try to eat around 5:30 6 whichs I gfeelm is reasonable for our duaghter. HOwever if she is hungry as soon as we walk in the door I wait feed her right away and then make dinner for my husband and I. Granted she is getting old enough that I am going to star to have her wait which I am not loking forward too. Make it work for your family's schedule not the norm.

I think it's an area many of us struggle with. It was important to me - so much so that I got my husband to agree on a few things. At least the majority of nights we'd sit down together with NO TV on during dinner.

There will be days you wonder WHY you even bother, but it is working. Our kids are more behaved than not (we still have our moments believe me) and it's MUCH easier to take them out or to someone elses house to eat.

Plan in advance what you'll make. If you have a slow cooker, you can do it way ahead of time. Otherwise you can find magizines or cookbooks with quick recipes.

Even if you start with eating w/ your son (mac & cheese, whatever he likes) at least sit w/ him and talk about his day to get the time in. Then work up to the recipies - maybe starting on weekends first.

Good luck - it is work, but it does pay off. My three year old LOVES to "help", stir, set the table etc....

My Husband works full time and goes to school... he is always busy when he gets home. My kids, like any family, has their food preferences. Luckily, me and Hubby eat anything I cook. I cook whatever I know we ALL like. My son is super picky too... and he grazes throughout the day so I do NOT expect him to eat the majority of his intake at DINNER time, only. Because I know he eats fine throughout the day. So I don't "stress" about how much he eats at dinner. And what I think is a good amount of food, to HIM its too much. He will only eat until he is full. So that's fine. I serve him littler amounts. To fit him.

Next, no matter what my Hubby is working on... or even if just on the computer "relaxing"... He will come to dinner, with us, at the table. AND- I will tell him verbally a head's-up "Dinner is in 30 minutes..." so that he can finish up whatever it is he is working on... then he will come to the table. That is what we agreed on. We talked about it. So, try talking to your Husband about it. Openly.

Kids... need to "see" the "family" eating together. Ideally. It is a time to "connect" and talk story about the kids with the kids, and about us the adults. To catch up with each other or just hang out.

AND, for your picky eating daughter... encourage her to set the table and give her a head's-up on what you are cooking for dinner.. so that she can get it situated in her head "what" is for dinner... instead of coming to the table and then "surprise" seeing what is there and protesting. Tell her "This is what is for dinner...." "here is your plate... " and let her put on it what she wants FROM what you cook. And let her put whatever condiments on it (ie: ketchup) that she wants. Fine. It will give her some sense of it being her "own" food and choosing.

I would talk about it, with your Hubby. It is NOT an easy task... to be the corral "manager" for the entire family to get them to eat and at the table. HE should at least be making HIMSELF available, for dinner. That is his "responsibility" as an "Adult" and as a Dad. Dinner is just a short time, in the whole scheme of things... and making time for it is the least he could do. Because you the "Mommy" is not his "Mommy"...and he should be role-modeling "dinner time" for your kids TOO.

All the best,
Susan

I know exactly how you feel! That was same problem that i was having just a month ago. My new years resolution was to have dinner at the table as a family every night (except on special occasions). So i did the menu thing (if you are finding you don't want to make your own menu and you like trying new ideas there is a cool cookbook called Busy Family Cookbook 'Going Bananas at Mealtime' sold on amazon that has premade menus and shopping lists for a whole year my family loves almost everything in it!)
But for your issue of all eatting seperatly I finally had to take on the resposibility myself. I had to set the table and call everyone to dinner myself. I found that it works best for me to hand my hubby my two year old and the three month old while i do that and then the baby sits in a bumbo on the table while we eat. The miricle i found was that once we started eating together my two year old was much more willing to eat new things. Also don't worry about her not always eating a big meal at dinner they go through phases of not eating much so just be patient (that's what my mom keeps telling me about mine!) Good luck!

This may not be pc but I would tell your husband what you would like to see happen with meal times and then let him know that if he isn't going to join the family for dinner he can make his own food. I wouldn't cater to him at the computer don't make it easy for him to check out and take you for granted. he might be working and going to school but you don't get a break either then. its not "easy" to be home with the kids and manage all of it. you are running your own little corporation. I know everyone's dynamics of how their relationships work is different and if you were saying it works for you I would say Kudo's but I'm hearing frustration and I would recommend you sit down and write out what you would like to see your family look like at dinner time. then start making little changes. when you make a menu plan for a week or a month, save it on your computer so you can pull that week up sometime when you are too busy to make a new plan. make the grocery lists up as well then you can just check off what you have on hand and buy the rest.
it will take some planning but if you save the menues and grocery lists then on the busy days you are covered.
for the picky kid...my parents just put dinner out and if you didn't want to eat it, you can go hungry. the kid won't starve. they will eat when they are hungry. with my toddler I look at what she eats over the course of a week instead of just the day. some days she just grazes and doesn't eat much and some days she eats a lot. I make her take at least a couple of bites at dinner and then I let her go if she says she isn't hungry. I put her food in the fridge so if she says she is hungry later that is what I get back out for her. I had started noticing I was doing the bowl of cereal before bed thing when she said she was hungry and I had to do a reality check with myself and remind myself, she won't starve. she won't. its not really any easier to heat up her food in the microwave than to make up a bowl of cereal. so I can't even rationalize that it is just easier when I am exhausted.
consistency has been the key with that at first she fought it and tested me it took about 2 weeks for me to get her to where she wasn't just fighting me every day. she still tests me some days, shes a kid--but I am proud of myself for being consitent and I need that belief in myself so that on the bad days I don't fall into the whole guilt trip of I'm a bad mom.
just don't let your husband be one of your kids...acknowledge him for how much he is doing, but also ask for his help and help him see all that you do so that you don't get resentful.
good luck

You have a lot of good advice already, but of course I'll throw in my two cents! :) Google "family meal time" and print a couple of articles for you husband to read about the importance of that time for your children. It took some convincing of my husband to understand that our children NEED that time to share their day.
As for cooking and planning: plan at breakfast what's for dinner. I always try to make something the kids will eat and occasionally (when I need the peace and quiet) will make an entire meal just for them (usually fish sticks and macaroni). Usually, though, I make sure at least one thing is something they like. For example, my kids like steamed broccoli and raw carrots. So we eat a lot of that. My oldest (8) has seen Popeye cartoons, so he likes to eat spinach now to grow muscles (LOL). To help with planning, try www.savingdinner.com. To help in other organizational ways, try www.flylady.net. Planning goes a long way when you are dealing with a household. I'm not quite "there" yet, but I have seen the light. Best of luck!

Tackle one battle at a time. It's perfectly okay to have dinners that are easy to prepare - frozen pizza, hamburger helper, mac & cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, etc. Just cook some frozen veggies (microwavable dish, a few Tbs of water, cover and microwave for 4 minutes) and serve milk and you've got an okay dinner.

Make meal time family time. Try to get it at a regular time, and have one thing you know your daughter will eat. Serve her a tiny amount of anything new (it's less intimidating). But the baby in the high chair and give him a toy. If your husband is home, ask him to come to the table. It doesn't matter what or how much anybody eats. Have conversation about the day, etc. At 2 1/2 your daughter's attention span will be about 5 minutes. Try to stretch it a bit longer, but don't expect her to sit with you the whole time. But when she wants to eat, she needs to eat at the table (make that an always rule). If your husband won't join you, do it without him but keep inviting him (and talk to him at another time about how important it is for him to set a good example).

As dinner becomes more routine, you can try with making something a bit more elaborate, if you want. Borrow a crock pot/slow cooker and try out a few recipes (if you like it, you can invest in one). But family dinner is important more for the time spent together than for what you eat.