I Am Not a Short Order Cook!

You are absolutely right - he WILL eat when he gets hungry enough. And you are also right by not starting a precedent of cooking him something different than the rest of you are eating. He could just be going through a phase where he's not that hungry. But that will be followed by a phase where he is ravenous.

I would continue to not force the issue; put the plate aside and if he eats, great. If not, just know that he must not be hungry. It doesn't take much to fill up a 2 year old. Look at his fist; that's how big his stomach is.

You are absolutely right: If he's hungry, he will eat. Just stay consistent, and don't make special meals to appease him. It might take time, but he'll realize that he doesn't ONLY get his very favorite things. And he's not going to starve.

love that you are not pandering to the pickiness!
i think you're handling it beautifully.
if his ped feels he's missing nutrients, you could supplement with pediasure or something like that.
but i'll bet he's not.
eating one's biggest meal at midday is very healthy, and lots of fruit is awesome. some kids run small.
khairete
S.

The thing with 2 yr olds is - they are usually between growth spurts and their appetites tends to drop off a bit.
If you kept a food diary of what he is actually eating, I think you'll see he's doing better than you think he is.

It really is alright. He'll grow into eating more. Right now, it's like they exist on air!

How much do you put on his plate? Do you use a plate or do you put the food on his high chair? Switch up and do the opposite of what you do in that regard. And don't give him much at all. Just a few spoonfuls. If he doesn't see much on his plate (or high chair), it will make it more likely that he'll eat it. If he wants more, just put one more spoon down.

Always put something on the plate that he likes, and only introduce one new food at a time.

The less you act like you are desperate for him to eat, the better. Continue to ONLY offer what you have already fixed if he comes back to the dinner table.

Are you letting him drink a lot of milk before he eats? If you are, switch that up too. Only an inch of milk in his sippy cup before eating. Only allow him to have the rest of his milk once he eats what you've put on his plate. (Remember, not too much on the plate.)

Give him a glass of milk before bedtime, before brushing his teeth, once you have turned dinnertime around.

If he is eating the most at lunch, then just understand that he is switching lunch and dinner around. There really nothing wrong with that. Don't be a short order cook. It's a really bad precedent.

Dawn

This is totally normal. He's eating enough, just not at meal times. At two years of age it's good to have grazing food available for him. If you think his diet is lopsided, just rotate what's available for snack and add cheese, yogurt, carrot stick, etc.

I would give him something he might eat, something he will eat and something he probably won't. Teach him that "ew, yuck" is rude and "no, thank you" is better. Teach him to leave food on his plate if he doesn't want it. No treats or empty snacks later if he doesn't eat his food (we allow my DD something like cheese or fruit but not candy, pop tarts, etc). My DD is always allowed to stop eating, but that candy bag isn't coming down if she didn't do a decent job on dinner. Last night we had pulled beef sandwiches. DD had broccoli (uncooked, I just set it aside), a toasted roll, sliced seasoned potatoes, and a slice of ham vs the pulled beef. Everything but the ham was what we ate and the broccoli was easy to just leave raw for her. I'd look at your meals and see if you can do things like that. We've long put sauces on the side for whoever wants them. And we try to not let her fill up on juice or milk so she doesn't want dinner. I'd just encourage him to eat, not make it a battle and encourage good dinner habits (like sitting at the table). If my DD doesn't eat much for breakfast, I tell her that's fine, she can get up (after a reasonable time) but she'll get nothing til snack time at school.

DD has gotten her own plate, silverware, and cup since she was 1 and has been sitting at the table (in her high chair pulled up to the table for a time) when she was old enough to sit with us but not tall enough. Now she sits on a chair like we do. And over time, she's put together her own tacos, learned to eat lettuce and broccoli because she sees we do. Give it time.

We had a similar issue with our kids, I realized that they had free access to their juice cups all day. They were filling up on juice instead of food. I now limit the juice to meals and snack, with 1 cup only unless they get se ones. This has helped tremendously my kids are eating more food. Good luck.

Updated

We had a similar issue with our kids, I realized that they had free access to their juice cups all day. They were filling up on juice instead of food. I now limit the juice to meals and snack, with 1 cup only unless they get se ones. This has helped tremendously my kids are eating more food. Good luck.

You're doing fine right now. If all he eats is lunch, then make sure it's healthy. At this age they don't seem to eat much. I swear my kids survived on sunshine when they where that young, because they didn't seem to eat ever. In our house supper is the family meal. Everyone is required to be at the table for prayer. If they don't like what is on the table, they don't have to eat. The usual answer to "eww yuck" is "Breakfast is in the morning." And, yes, I've had kids go to bed hungry and crying and sure they were going to die before the night was through. Kids can skip a meal every now and then and just be fine. The payoff for that pain and drama is that my older kids are a little more willing to try different things. It also helps to have them involved in the meal planning and preparation. Mine each have a night that they are in charge of what we eat and getting it to the table. Obviously, the little ones need a more assistance. I'm merely a consultant for the teenagers.

I am a mom with 2 kids, now 25 and 17. The 'terrible twos' are not something my oldest (a girl) had (but had the terrible teens instead), but my youngest (a boy) was the King of! I have always had your philosophy that everyone will eat what I make, and everyone gets to have 'their favorite' at some point or another, but my kids have ALWAYS eaten broccoli, fish (not fishsticks!) and a host of other foods from the time they could eat solid food, and are thankful now that they are older that they have had the opportunity to enjoy healthful, tasty foods many of their peers have simply never even tried. All that being said, small children can require up to 30 times of 'trying' a food before it becomes something they recognize that they 'like'. I guess that goes back to our primitive ancestors. I never insisted my kids clean the plate, just that they give everything a try. I can almost guarantee your toddler isn't going hungry, he just isn't all that interested in food at the moment! I am like you in the respect that I am also not a short-order cook, and refused to make things like chicken nuggets just b/c they were supposed to be 'kid friendly'. NOT HAPPENING! My 17 yr old still insists on taking his lunch b/c what they serve @ the school cafeteria is not up to the 'standards' we have set for our food consumption! But I gotta tell you this- when my son was little he ate a PBJ for breakfast every day for more than a year. The food in the US is highly fortified, but if your child is having a 'picky year' you can always get some gummy vitamins as a supplement, or add a little Carnation Instant Breakfast to your child's milk just to give them a boost.

You are definitely right in that you do NOT want to set the precedent that if "you don't like it, I'll just keep cooking things until you will eat". That is not fair to you, and just adds to that narcissistic nature kids have anyway and the sense of entitlement most all of us have come to loathe in society. We also have had a policy in this house that we will all try something 'new' from time to time (I found I love steamed spinach!) and vote thumbs up or down as a group to decide whether to add it to our 'regular' meals. It's fun, and does get everyone involved.

If it makes you feel any better, my daughter potty trained super-easily at around age 2, my son REFUSED to have anything to do with the potty until he was almost 4!! You cannot force a child to pee, believe me, no matter how long you leave them sitting there! It was crazy! We always said 'well, they all do it (fill in the blank) before they go to college". He did finally get interested in it (whew!) but there was no way you were going to get him to do it until he was good and ready! There was just too much else he was interested in doing.

Just know that the advice I can give you as a 'seasoned mom' is that you need to trust your instincts, but don't overindulge your toddlers "me first" attitude. It just makes for ugly adult personality traits :) You seem level-headed, and it sounds like you and your child are doing fine :)

All of my kids were great eaters, some pickiness happens as they get older, but as younger ones if you put it in front of them, they ate it.

My youngest, 3, just isn't a big eater. She's not really picky, just not much for food. She does eat a decent breakfast, sometimes an okay lunch, but she rarely eats dinner.

She is smaller then my other kids, much more petite where I tend to have Brutus's. I figure it's just who she is, she's healthy and growing so I don't worry about it.

Sounds like our house!
One day my 2 yr old will eat something like crazy. Next time I make it he won't touch it!
I don't cook extra things for him, but what I have started doing is keeping things around that he does seem to eat every time. If he doesn't eat dinner, I will make him a pb&j on whole wheat bread. And I use the %100 fruit spread. Or he like cereal bars, so I keep those around too.
A lot of 2 yr olds are grazers like someone said. They are too "busy" to sit and eat. Leave things out that he can pick at.

No, you're not horrible. When I make a reasonable meal, I expect them to eat it, if they dont, I may hand them a banana later if they are complaining about being starving.
I will not make it a fight anymore. Fine, you're not eating, excuse yourself then and let the others eat in peace.
I have even tried the you're not getting up until you try it thing, they barf, every, single, time.
Im good!
Dont stress yourself too much. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

If I make fajitas or something, I will make them a separate meal. I dont expect them to like everything adults do.

My two year old is the same way, and she often just doesn't eat supper. Of course, for breakfast and lunch I make her what she likes, because that can be individualized...and I make sure those two meals are very healthy. For supper, I make whatever...and sometimes she'll eat maybe half of what I give her, and sometimes she won't TOUCH it. Fine! :)

Later at night if she asks for a snack I am more than happy to give her fruit, cereal, or yogurt.

You are not horrible by not offering an alternate menu, and don't let anyone tell you that you are. Obviously, if he hates a food, make sure you're offering other options to go with it...but just that...to go WITH it. You DON'T have to cook a whole other meal!!

Good luck. :) As long as he continues to eat the other two meals and pick and dinner, he'll be just fine!

My daughter often comes home with reports that she has eaten most or all of her lunch. And often, that lunch is the dinner she didn't eat much of the night before. (I send lunch to my daughter's daycare for her each day.) She just isn't always hungry for lunch. I think what you're doing is exactly right. Unless your pediatrician gets concerned about his development, then I would keep on doing what you're doing now.

I know that my daughter eats much better when she hasn't had any type of snack after she gets home - even milk sometimes prevents her from eating dinner. That doesn't sound like the case for you, but just something to think about.

Something else to consider is the plate and utensils you're giving to him. Is it the same plate as everyone else? Does he see you serve the food? Is there some way he can "help" make his plate?

Some kids have natural aversion to certain foods because of allergies or digestive problems. When I was a kid a refused to eat bread, beef, to drink milk... Thankfully, my mom was flexible and did not force me to eat what I did not like. I was allowed to chose and pick. When I grew up I found out that I am allergic/highly sensitive to tons of things. I have a list of 20+ foods I avoid on daily basis and my kids are allergic to different things as well. My suggestion, test your kid for food allergies/intolerances if he refuses to eat certain things over and over. In my house we all eat different things. It is difficult, yes, but I am used to that because of all the allergy issues.
Another thing about food is the control issue. Because you are in charge of the meals - you are in control, which means you prepare what you consciously or subconsciously crave. But you crave what YOUR body needs and that may be not what your kids' bodies need, so they do not have the same taste/cravings - hence the lack of interest in the food you prepare. What I do (and my husband criticizes me for it to no end) is I offer kids small portions of different foods and they eat as much as they want and whatever they want. He says I spoil them, but I think I give them a choice and an opportunity to choose what their body needs since I am not aware of what they need.

I always had an easy meal ready for my son when he did not like the family meal until he was 4 then the go to bed hungry thing was put into place.

So I had things like a grilled cheese and ham sammy or ravioli or something easy and yummy that he got to eat after two bites of the family meal. Personally I think under 4 may be too young to be too strict but I respect where you are coming from.