Decision No More Kids? and Content with One Child?

I'm 44, and I feel the same way. I love my DS and would be happy to have him. If we had another, I'd be happy then. I don't feel a "drive" for another, but I do think about it once in a while. But I'd love to get a full night's sleep for at least a year! LOL

I have no problem with only children but wow it seems like people are choosing to have one to spoil them rotten. I had a friend like that and her daughter is not a nice person to be around. :(

I mean it is one thing to only afford one or only have one but to only have one so they can have three rooms of the house devoted to their stuff, go on all the cool trips, take dance even though they suck at it, cheer and pom even though they suck at it seems like you are creating a monster.

Oh that would be describing the friend not anyone here.

People who say siblings are such a blessing never grew up with my sister.
It was a sheer nightmare.
She pulled out so much of my hair growing up to this day my scalp is desensitized to any pain.
I was so happy when she moved away and we're in our 50's now and are glad we live in different (not even neighboring) states.
My husband is an only child and loved it.
I wish I was.
Our son is an only child and is so glad he never had to share my lap or attention.
He's a great kid, has always had lot's of friends in school, was voted 'Most Tolerant' in his class last year and younger kids in taekwondo look up to him.
We have just the one to get through college, we can afford any activities he wants to be involved in (taekwondo and plays clarinet in the school band), and best of all - there is NO bickering, fighting, nitpicking, jockeying for position/attention from parents.
A sibling is not always a gift/friend/good thing and you are never sure what you are going to get.

(fully We have an only child BY CHOICE and we have no regrets at all She is 17 now and we have enjoyed each stage as it came along.

You have to do what you feel is right for your family and not take into consideration of all the pros, cons, and jabs that happen.

There are many very well adjusted only children who are not scarred by not having siblings. etc and are fortunate to live in an environment of positive, stable and secure family envoronment where they are enriched via the schools. added instruction, travel, etc.

It is a personal choice. We have no regrets whatsoever. Our daughter has her choice of colleges to attend,( fully funded by us plus her grades are at one of the highest levels) and she is fully capable of making good decisions because she has beeen raised in a family high on entreprenurship, dedication to business, and work ethic.

You simply have to figure out what is best for you. We would have it no other way. We provide for our daughter, she works for our company to learn how a business is run, she loves being independent.

No one should judge you or should you be pressured to have more than one if you are not completely comfortable in your situation.

To this day, I have family pressuring me to have another child and they don't "get it " that hubby and I are completely fullfilled with the blessings we have.

Best wishes.

I have one daughter and I always wanted just one. I raised two stepkids first and they were 20 and 17 when she was born. Turns out I enjoyed being pregnant so much, I might've been tempted to have another, but was 41 at the time, so the answer was no.

She is not spoiled, at all. She's a great kid who loves to play with others and also can entertain herself. She does remind me occasionally that she would have liked to have had a sister. But she also knows that our lives would be much different if there were "more of her". She and I are very close and she gets a lot of my time and attention. She also now has two nieces and a nephew (7, 5, and 2).

I take financial responsibility very seriously. By the time I was in 3rd grade, I decided I was going to college, having a career, and not having more children than I could support, by myself if necessary. I still feel that way. My life choices would be limited, and my child's choices would be limited, if I had had more children.

I have felt no regret. I now enjoy my 10 year-old greatly, and spend time with my 3 grandchildren (2 more expected this summer!) any chance I get.

I adopted by biological niece when she was just a few days old, I hadn't had kids previously and I certainly wouldn't after she became part of our family. I have one child but she has never been out of control, or acted spolied...we were complete and knew it.

Yes, it is much easier with one child if I wanted to go to Europe or send her to Sea World camp in San Diego. The friendships she has made have been lifelong so far, She played competitive travel softball for many years. We could afford it and both be there to see her play.

Siblings are way overrated. That is so much a roll of the dice if the kid will like them, I'm sure the parents will but that is a different relationship.

The only children in my daughter's circle of friends are extremely smart, balanced, generous, have an amazing work ethic (like in sports) and selected wonderful colleges and universities.

We have only one child & we love it. I devote all my time and attention to her. She has everything she could want or need. She is a social butterfly & has many friends and cousins to play with so she does not feel alone. We will comfortably be able to provide things later in life as well like college and wedding. We made the decision a long time ago to only have one and will definately not be having another. I have no desire to have another. But we do occasionally ask my daughter (just for giggles) 'do you want a little brother or sister?" and her answer is always a big NO. Only you can decide what the right family size is for you. After you come to that decision you need to make peace with it. Good luck to you!

once and done..sweet pea
once and done,
when and if my daughter asks for a sibling, she will get a puppy.
i give birth to our daughter in a bathroom, during a snowstorm, with only her father there to help me
no drugs, no painkillers, no expresso
i am not doing that ever, ever AGAIN
the emts were speechless when they got to our apartment, though
cant imagine why
K. h.

The second kid isn't really an added expense. You are already doing it, you don't need to buy more toys, in fact, you can just re-gift toys!

Also, don't forget that your financial situation changes, and you will earn more money as you get older.

BTW, siblings are not overrated. My kids play together every day and will both tell you that they are each other's best friends. Their bond is amazing, and even if it doesn't last as they get older, they have it right now, and are having an amazing time together. Also, all the supposed advantaged of an only (personality characteristics, intelligence issues, etc.) hold true for first children, so it's only the second and third kids that don't have those advantages. But they have other advantaged (being more flexible, easy going, etc.)

If money is the only thing holding you back, then figure out how to make more money. You are only 33. At 33 we made 1/2 of our current earnings, and we are just now 40.

I am in the same boat as you L. K, except I have far more years on me than you :-(.

I love my DD to pieces and would be happy with just her. I would also be delighted to have another, just one more.

But due to my age, and our finances I don't think that might happen.

I am learning to be grateful for what I have this moment.

Good luck. You still have time and your finances can improve.

We are in a similar situation. DD came as a surprise, a welcome surprise, but still. I am now in my mid-thirties and I will NEVER EVER have a baby while having to work full time to support my family. The stress just isn't worth it and I deeply regret never having had enough time for her, especially when she was a baby. I hated having her in daycare full time - still hate it.
At this point in my life staying at home would not be possible... maybe one day it will be possible - I won't totally shut the door on this, but I will be at least 40 - and who knows if I want to start over at that time.

Until then we just enjoy what we have and since my DD has started asking for a sibling we are getting ready to get a puppy soon... they make way better playmates than baby siblings that are 5 years younger...

I have one child, a son. He's 8 and the best of both me and my husband. He's artistic, kind, sensitive, stubborn, and very smart. I don't think I could have asked for anything more then what I was blessed with. He was a perfect baby, and has become such a well rounded child.

I had a difficult pregnancy, so I am scared to go through it again. I will be 34 this year myself, and I know that each year I get older their are more risks. For me, it is most important that I stay healthy for my husband, and my child. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I weren't able to do the things I am doing now for my family..

Financially, emotionally, and spiritually we are able to provide for our son very well. I have also been a stay at home mother throughout most of his life, and to be able to do that has been a blessing.

I enjoy my son immensly. Their isn't anyone like him. With that said, I know I would be perfectly content with having one child. My husband and I have talked about adoption as well. I have always thought that is something I should do in my life. Giving a child a home is so important to me. So, if I were to have one biological child, and be a mother of two children, I think my life would be meant for that purpose alone.

My daughter and I both almost died during her birth. I decided then and there that Ii was never having another.
She never lacked for company when she was growing up. She played with her cousins, classmates, and the other kids in the neighborhood.

I have a sister, and we were never "built-in playmates" for each other growing up. She wanted to play Barbies and I wanted to climb trees. She hated to get dirty and I played football with the boys in the neighborhood.

My daughter has told me that she is glad she was an only child. Having a sibling would have meant that she would not have had the chance to do a lot of the things we did together when she was growing up (such as the class field trip to Washington DC - from Baton Rouge, LA) if I had had to stretch resources to do it for two or more kids.

I am in the same situation. Our's was also a surprise. I want to be well prepared if I have another, which everyone except my mom and dad are pressuring me to do. My husband's family is pushy about us having another. His sister (very irresponsible), not married, has 2, daddy is a joke in 7 years has never had a job and she says I couldn't afford it and we made it work. She was right, she couldn't but she didn't have to with Medicaid, welfare, food stamps, WIC and child care assistance. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with any of these programs, but I don't want to depend on someone to "pay my way."

Well, we have dogs to "round out" the large family feeling. I am happy with one, we have considered another but I am not far behind you in age and agree that I am not willing to commit to another child and the responsbilities that come with. I have no "empty nest" feeling and I feel that my one son has needs that I am not sure can be met as fully if there were another in the house - esp an infant. If my son was not a surprise I can not even guarantee that I would have any children right now as well, I am not really the type to have a ton of kids running around. I have however considedered being a foster parent when my son is older and our financial situation has changed: own a house, have larger/more reliable cars etc. But, I do not think I will have another child on purpose - and I am perfectly fine with that.

I love my one and only. I'd love another one if I had another, too, but that won't be happening. But the question about whether or not to have another didn't stop until my age simply made it unfeasible.

It is totally your decision. My husband is an only. He had a wonderful childhood and a few close friends that were like brothers. He said he never missed having siblings. Now that we have 3 young boys he has said he wonders what it would have been like to have a brother.

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I only had one child, I was only able to carry her full term. The others were miscarriages.

I look back now and think how sad it was for her to not have siblings. She missed so much. I wish more than anything I had been able to give her that.

I have 2 of my grandkids now and feel like they have each other at worst and at best they have a childhood to look back on when they get older and might not have anyone else.

I think the whole household has a different dynamic due to the kids having each other, they play together, they get into trouble together, they do home work together, they do stuff separate too.

I think one is lonely and it was for me a totally different feeling. I had to spend so much more time entertaining my daughter and it was just more.

I think 2 kids is good or even more.

Because we both come from screwed up families, I wish my child had playmates. I also have a lot of love to give and always dreamed of 3-5 kids. A M. is what I do best.

We made our decision when my husband became disabled to stop. Now I have health problems and could not. That is when I realized I really wanted more kids and I have been grieving it.

As for finances, you get EIC and extra tax refunds per child, though not nearly enough to cover the cost.

My child struggles socially and if I had 5 kids like my friends, we would basically be homebodies or go out as a family. I would not worry about her socially or her future.

Now that I physically CAN'T, I regret it. When I was 9 I decided to adopt kids. I really would only want a baby because of the many issues we had with our abused, neglected nieces. They are not good people at all.