Day Care Provider and TV

I have the same dilemma as I'm hunting for a compatible childcare provider who I can afford. Many places have the tv as a centerpiece, unfortunately. I've been letting them all know I don't want my kid watching tv. Most have said they could accommodate that.

Well, 2 thoughts...
#1
You are paying this person take care of your child and play with her, etc. not watch Oprah all day, right? So, you either tell her you don't want your Pumpkin vegging out in front of the TV all day and you'll be happy to find other childcare if she can't handle your concerns, OR just keep worrying about it and being unhappy.

#2
I think ADHD was invented by drug companies.
I grew up with no TV in the house until I was 7 & my hubby grew up with a TV in every room constantly on during all meals etc. He speaks 3 languages and has 2 engineering degrees and makes a killer margarita.
Me - I am a little dyslexic (sp?) forgetful and scatterbrained...what was I saying?
And my niece was "diagnosed" with ADD in frigging pre-school and was put on ritalin (sp?) which made her a zombie. 1 year later, after a series of bad ear infections they realized she was legally deaf, they put tubes in her ears and removed her adenoids which restored her hearing. She memorized the alphabet and learned to begin reading within 2 weeks and in 6 months was reading at a 2nd grade level in Kindergarten. ADD? B.S. if you ask me! She wasn't paying attention in class because she couldn't hear. I told my brother to go punch her pre-school teacher.
O.K. so that was really 2 1/2 thoughts.
As a new mom you are overwhelmed with all of these statistics, studies and old wives tales. Slow down - enjoy your baby - you can't rewind the clock. Stop trying to be perfect and just love her. I cry when I watch home movies of my son when he was tiny - I was TERRIFIED I was going to screw him up somehow - he was a little bit preemie and small so we obsessed over his weight and how much he ate. If I could go back I'd skip the home-made baby food, buy the jar stuff and play with him more instead of being in the kitchen with organic brocoli and my blender.

My kids were raised around TV because I was young, naive and living at my parents where my mom watches TV every waking moment (almost.) My eldest was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 9 and my youngest also is challenged with focus, but never diagnosed as ADD since we switched to Waldorf where there isn't a need to label children. Coincidence??? Maybe, maybe not.

I would not feel comfortable having my baby there knowing what I know now. There is SO much on TV that is really not OK for little developing minds. It squashes natural creativity. The fast visual stimulation makes it harder to focus in the ways that are important when your little one becomes school age. Not to mention all the advertising. Don't get me started there!

There is so much about modern day TV I disapprove of. We don't have a TV and I don't miss it one little bit...

I would imagine there are other wonderful daycare without so much TV (if any at all.) Good luck!

Dear C.,
From what you say, you have a very good care provider for your daughter. Trust me, they aren't easy to find. I have been a day care provider and I have needed day care for my kids. I certainly have yanked my kids from certain situations, but not for anything nearly as innocuous as the TV being on. For instance, one woman, who seemed perfectly wonderful, had recommendations, kids of her own and several other children in her care, had structured rest, meal and play times, etc, got canned PRONTO. My daughter was 3, and I had explained well in advance that she did not nap during the day. She was perfectly happy, and in the habit of laying down quietly and still, every day for rest time, but she did not sleep during the day. I was told that would not be a problem. Well, I went to pick her up one evening after work and my daughter was still in the bed in the back of the house while the other kids were all playing. I thought maybe she was sick or something. But no...the woman had grown tired of her being stubborn and "refusing" to actually sleep like the other kids did, so, as her punishment, she was not allowed out of the bed for the rest of the day. She was not allowed to eat, she was not allowed to play while she could clearly hear the other kids up and romping around. My daughter was sopping wet from sweating and crying all afternoon.
I have never come so close to choking someone in my entire life. My daughter never went back there and I turned the woman in.
Another day care provider got canned for allowing non-custodial dad to show up and take my son whenever he felt like it. Dad didn't want me to know he was sneaking around and the daycare provider never called me to ask me if it was all right. They knew we had court orders in effect and that I was at work thinking I knew where my son was and that he was safe. Then, they were so mad at me for removing my son that they refused to give me a copy of the daily sign-in/sign/out sheets for that month.
So, as far as the TV thing, just having the TV on will not do harm to a child. It seems obvious to me, even by your own account, that even with the TV on, your daughter wasn't paying attention and neither was the other little kid. That shows me they are not in the habit of having that be the only thing they focus on.
My mother-in-law passed away 3 weeks to the day after my son was born. My husband got the brilliant idea to move in his father, who was incontinent and suffered from severe dementia, for me to take care of with a baby and a 10 year old. Grandpa sat in his chair and had to have the TV on all day long. We went for walks and out in the yard, he loved pushing the stroller, but in the house, the TV had to be on. The family room and kitchen were all one thing, the center of our home. Grandpa changed the channel every 30 seconds most of the time so you couldn't pay attention to it if you wanted to. As a result, my kids didn't really pay any attention to the TV. Trust me, we all just kind of learned to tune it out. We just went about our business. I had 3 little kids, except one of them was 80.
My son was used to having the TV on from the time he was an infant. No harm done. Actually, my children are very patient and thoughtful. They are both intelligent, musically inclined, love to read, no behavior issues.
If your babysitter is sticking the kids in front of the television so she doesn't have to interact with them at all, that would be one thing.
But I don't see, unless she is watching porno, why you would be so worried if she does everything else right.
Maybe she is the type of person who enjoys having the TV on just in the background. If she has the TV on when you come over, she's not trying to hide it.
It's a personal choice. If you don't want your child exposed to television at all, then move your child. I don't think you can ask her to never have her television on unless it's kid shows. That's just my personal opinion. I know that she's "working" and you are paying her, but she's in her own home. When I was little, my mom had the TV on all day while she busied around and cooked and cleaned like a woman on a mission from sun up to sun down.
It didn't hurt me or my sister. We were too busy playing. We HATED when someone turned the news on. BORING! We would rather do our chores and homework than have to watch that.
I ended up being sent to a special school for gifted children and my sister got a college scholarship and now works for the County school system.
The television being on has not harmed a single child I know unless they are forced to sit in front of it. It doesn't sound like that's happening in your case.
Choose your battles and choose them wisely.

Hi C.,
I as well had to go back to work when by son was 4 months old. I was fortunate to find a terrific day-care provider that was like a grandma to my son.
I think what's more important than the TV being on, is that your child is happy and contented. There are so many studies out there that could find something wrong with everything, including TV. My son is now 14 years old, he doesn't have ADHD, he's doing well in school, is active in hockey, and is an all around nice kid. Which I think has a lot to do with what and whom he was exposed to while growing up.
Don't ask your day-provider to turn off the TV, or radio, having the back ground noise can be a good thing.
Be thankful that you have good people around your child, and she will grow up to be a great kid.

If your daughter is happy and well cared for in her daycare don't look for things to worry about. A great daycare is really hard to come by. Good daycare providers are worth their weight in gold, they love and take care of other people's children as if they were their own. Your daughter facing the tv is not the end of the world.

I wouldn't worry too much about it as long as the kids are not infront of the TV all day. I'm a SAHM and I watch a couple of kids. I have the TV on mostly for back ground noise. Just to clarify I don't have the kids infront of the TV. Sometimes I put on baby Einstein (or something like that) if I need to get something done, but the baby isn't watching TV. Sometimes I think of it as my connection to the outside world. I'm also aware of what is on the TV, no bad language or programs that would be innaporiate for the little ones. Just trust your gut...

I am a daycare provider and agree it seems the TV is on a bit to much. Kids need more stimulation and personal interaction. Using the TV as a sitter is just not OK! Sure I have turned it on, but do not leave it on long. Most of the time I am there with them and we are using the show for an extention of what we have been doing, for instance, letters or colors.
I also take only 1 or 2 kids, it truly is the only way to give them the 1 on 1 time they need/deserve. As a mother of 2 kids myself I truly believe in using your intuition. If something does not feel right, change it. As a provider I would want to know your concerns and adjust my home if I felt the request was resonable, which I think yours is. Good luck!

hi C.,

I'm a sahm (stay at home mom) first of all we do not have cable. I never let my children watch T.V. I only use tv when I am showering, cooking, or when I'm doing bills. Now that my children are 5 and almost 4, when they watch a movie they would automatically turn it off after the movie and they and do art or play. A typical day, no school, I will put a dvd and make breakfast, off tv, eat, and kids play or art. I set up a 3 drawer cart with papers, 99$ tape, scissors, crayon and they do art, or playdoh.

I did not let my children watch tv when they were 3 mo. old. If you want to stimulate his minds, listen to music and read to her alot.

M.

I turn the tv on again when I am making dinner.

As a daycare provider, I agree with you that the TV shouldn't be on for constant entertainment. We purposely use a children's video or TV program once or twice a day, try to limit each time to 1/2 hour, and are with the children when they watch so we can comment on the show and make it more of a learning experience. Otherwise, we use good children's tapes or CDs or other good music tapes or CDs for background noise. I have some big band music from the 40s and other good music that leads the children into some spontaneous movement and dance as they play.
Know that you do have the right to ask your provider not to use the TV, but it sounds like she's convinced it isn't a problem so you may have to find another provider in order to resolve your dilemma. You aren't in my area, or I'd invite you to visit our daycare. I trust you'll find a good compromise on this soon.

I personally would not have my 3.5 month old exposed to TV. I think TV is too much stimulation, noise wise and visually, for young babies, so we have never had our son watch it. I don't think it's good for them. I think the AAP tends to be conservative on many things, so it's surprising to me that even they recommend no TV until the kid is 2. I don't think a good day care would have the tv on -- at all. That doesn't mean she isn't loving or a fantastic care giver, it's just not what I think is ideal care.

Also, I just read a book -- Parenting Inc. by Pamela Paul and she has a whole chapter about the evolution of DVDs/TV for babies. It's all marketing -- most studies do not support seeing TV so young.

And I'm curious, if you're so inclined to respond --- did you have the birth breech at the hospital? Did you decline a c section so they had to deliver vaginally???

I have 2 high achieving girls, one at The College Preparatory School and one at Northwestern University and we are a big TV family. I used to nurse them with the TV on--it helped keep me company when I was alone and tired. If your baby is getting love and attention and other stimulation, the TV won't matter. (They are also going to be growing up in a high tech generation that is plugged in constantly with texting, phones, laptops, ipods, etc...but you have some time until you hit that bigger challenge!)
D.

Hi C.,
I can understand your concern. It's not great for anyone to watch TV 24/7, kids or adults. But - I don't think it's nearly as bad as the AAP suggests. The next time you're at the park, show ten 3-year olds a picture of Elmo, and see how many of them can't identify him. I promise you every single one of them know who Elmo is, because every single one of them is parked in front of the TV at some point during their day. =)

That being said, your daycare provider is at work when she is watching your child, and while I can see putting on a kids' show or two during the day when she is, say, preparing a meal for the kids, I can't see how having the TV on all day is justified. To me, if she is watching TV, then her focus is not on your child. I would wonder why she isn't putting them in the stroller and taking them for a walk, or singing songs to them, or reading books to them. If the TV is always on, then those things aren't happening, and that's a problem. If you can, try and drop in at unexpected times a few times during the next week, and see what she is doing with the kids. It's not like they need constant stimulation, but on the other hand you do not want your baby stuck in the house all day with a caregiver who is not really paying attention.

Good luck - good day care is hard to find (been there, done that!) I hope it all works out!

HI C.,

Wow, you got a lot of responses and I didn't read them all. Please excuse if this is repetitive.... As a parent you have every right to express your concerns for what you expect from your daycare provider. There is well documented information about the effects on Tv on children and I do not feel that you are worrying for nothing.

We have always been very careful about how much and what kind of TV our kids watch. And now as a daycare provider myself, I do not use the TV EVER in my program. I know that many providers use TV for "transition times, " and I am not trying to be critical of other providers. I feel like parents bring their children to my care for quality care and in my opinion, that does not include TV I also feel that the kids come to play not to watch TV and that is what I tell my own children. On rare occasions they are finishing a show when daycare kids arrive and they know that when kids come in the TV goes off.

We almost always music for background noise or for transitions..... even for art projects.

Good luck to you... having been on both sides I know that good child care is hard to find and it is hard work.

Hi C.,

It bothers me that your caregiver is poopooing your concerns. If she's getting paid, and you're the one paying her, then you deserve her full attention to your concerns. TV does have a big impact on people's lives and to try to "hide" from that reality is silly and could create problems later; especially in the case of children developing in their formative months at magnificent rates of perception.

You deserve to have your caregiver take your concerns seriously; not to take any factor in your childs development for granted. Is it really such a good fit for you and your child if even your tiniest concerns and needs are disregarded in favor of anyone's convenience and comfort? A safety pin is pretty small but it really hurts if it's open in a diaper. As parents it's up to us to be diligent against taking anything for granted.

I watch TV with my kids, even shows I think are dumb to have the opportunity to answer my kids' questions, and talk to them about stupid stuff I see on the telly or share the good moments we see on tv together. I love laughing with them when we see something funny or when we watch a show that touches us intelligently.

So much of the behavior at school, most relevantly; and in our society is often dictated by the scripted stupidity found on the typical television show. If we don't address it and find a way to live with this aspect of life, it may begin to control too much of our behavior. It usually doesn't even reflect reality in most cases. Don't even get me started on the idiotic hype of the newsmedia.

I hope this opinion is helpful to you.

Sincerely,
-M

I know you have gotten tons of great advice already but I wanted to say that I personally don't think the TV will make her crazy but I do have to say that when you always have that "Background Noise" on, then you never hear anything else. The birds, wind chimes, trucks going by, lots of other things that I think it is important for kids to hear. I must also add that it is distracting to me to have the TV on and doing something else when I am really trying to think about what I am doing. Your little one is trying to figure all sorts of stuff out and she is probably concentrating pretty much on everything!
That sad about the TV, your caregiver. If she is giving you a hard time on anything, you need to rethink your choices. You need someone who is going to listen to you and respect your wishes even if they don't agree. My babysitter does not always agree with me and sometimes she will tell me why, but she always, says,"You are the Mommy, so what you says goes." I appreciate her input but also her ability to respect my opinions. Granted I am not as rigid as I was at 3 months but I still have my quirks and she does not fight me on it. In other words, find another babysitter.

You have a lot of responses already so I will be brief and hope I am not being repetitive.
You have every right to be concerned about your daughter being placed in front of the TV.
However, unfortunately you can't dictate what the caregiver watches.
What I would do is simply request that the swing she is placed in be turned away from the TV.

I don't think you are over-reacting.It's a valid concern. I've heard even the t.v. that is meant for little ones, like Baby Einstein, are not good. It is too overstimulating. I love the idea of suggesting she turn on the radio.

I am a preschool teacher and I have worked at center's where we watched a short program (Veggie Tales) nearly everyday and then other centers where we do not watch any t.v. at all. I know it is different because this is a home day care arrangement that you have. If you want to bring it up your caregiver please do! After all you are paying her and entrusting her to do the most important job there is- care for your child. Hopefully she is receptive to feedback and requests because a dedicated caregiver would respect and honor the concerns of the parents. Good luck!
By the way, we have a lot in common! I am a first time mom to a 2.5 month old son and my husband and I co-sleep and use cloth diapers as well.
I admire that you used no drugs! I had to have a scheduled C-section for medical reasons and I was thankful for the anesthesia during and the painkillers afterward.

I understand your concern. i would not want the person watching my baby to have the tv on all day and if it was on when i dropped off and picked you can bet it is always on. i don't think exposure to it is "harmful" but probably all day it is not great.

i have a 16month old and i don't watch daytime tv (maybe an occasional oprah) but in the evening i do turn it on at times before my son goes to bed. he doesn't seem interested although he will look at it now more than he used to. for me personally i would not feel comfortable leaving my baby with someone who has the tv on that often. i say talk to her about it and if you don't feel satisfied, find someone else who you feel better about. there are tons of great people out there who don't watch tv. :) good luck.

I'm with you! You are not over reacting, TV should not be a babysitter and even if it is not as a babysitter it a possible distraction to the caregiver which could also equal no good. If you feel uncomfortable with it then she should respect your wishes. You can always research other caregivers while she is with this lady and find one that fits you and your babies needs. Stick to you ground, you will never forgive yourself if your nightmares are confirmed.

S

Hi C.,

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I love TV. I LOVE IT! I am not one of those folks who don't watch TV. That being said, I have observed that my kids act negatively as a result of watching too much TV. Even if it is kid-friendly fare. Behaviors that I have noticed are back-talking, rude, sullen, not as likely to be helpful around the house, etc. I've noticed these behaviors starting around 3-4 yrs old. As a result, we've limited TV time during the weekends and no TV during the school week.

Now, watching their shows or a movie is a privilege they have to earn.

I think it is perfectly fine for you to request this of your provider. You have a right to request that your daughter be in a TV free environment. You may have to be prepared to change your daughter's day care if your provider really objects. Perhaps you can come to a compromise on the TV.

I think having the toddler watch a show for 30-60 minutes a day is fine but really anything longer and they are not spending any time doing active thinking. They aren't using their imagination or interacting with anyone else.

Go with your instincts. Most likely you will be on the money with what is best for your child.

Good luck!

Hi,
I did not let my daughter watch TV until she was 2 and now she only gets one video movie on weekends. She has lots of intrests and is able to play for hours with her doll house and toys, she is 4 she also loves books and does not look to TV as entertainment. That being said I don't know that TV is terrible. If everything else is good with the provider I would not move her. However, I don't think it sounds like the toddler is getting a lot of stimulation. Do they play games and does she teach the children anything? I know they are little, but theres lots to learn. As your daughter gets older you will want her in a loving environment that provides stimulation to learn things, not ploped down in front of the tv. I have my daughter in a daycare, they don't watch any tv and have lots of activities, so the kids are busy and stimulated. It does not sound like the provider is going to turn the tv off so I think you will have to decide if the good things about her override the things you don't like.
Good luck
J.

C.,
I have 2 older children, who have been exposed to t.v. as infants, I have always tried to not sit them in front of it but my husband and I both like to watch t.v., so it is often on and sometimes just as background noise. my now 7 month old still doesn't just sit in front of the t.v. he is too busy moving around and playing, he gets a lot of tummy time. my two older kids, 12 and 8 do not have ADHD and do fine in school. however you have every right to be concerned and ask the daycare provider not to use the t.v. so often. afterall you are paying her to provide the best care possible for your child.
good luck
S.

I have a dear friend who is a provider; she NEVER turns on the tv for the children; except for 20 min to play a video which teach sign language; that's all!
TV, microwaves and other electric devices provide a great amount of radiation to people; children should be exposed to the least amount of it daily. This radiation lowers your body's normal frequency (MHz) and it compromises your health.
If this provider does not consider your concerns, find another one. There is a lot of stuff going on in child care facilities that I don't agree with; for instance, some of the facilities that I've visited, have a dog inside interacting with the children. This lady (with a beautiful child care place) had the dog inside the baby's room; licking their toys and contaminating the room. Also, they use chlorine to desinfect, this is wrong, since this chemical is neurotoxic.
Unfortunatelly, we have to consider many things before leaving our little ones with care providers.
good luck and do not hesitate to give especific instructions, you are the customer and have rights.

WOW.....I read half the responses to your conerns. Im 50-50 about the whole watching too much TV. For me I believe its what your child is watching. My son only gets to watch kids shows. PBS, Baby first those kinds. Once in a while I will let him watch a movie. Cars, Bee Movie now that he is almost 3. My son knew all his shapes, colors and most of the alphabet and numbers by 28 months. We don't have Tv's in any of the bedrooms in our house or in our cars and we limit the time he has. He has a huge vocabulary and I feel its what they watch not how much and not what the causes will have on them later. IM not going to lie, there are times when my son was little and I let him sit in front of the TV for a few hours so I could get things done. My husband is in LA every week for 3-4 days for work and I had to get thigns done. It isn't going to kill him. I agree with many other comments. There could be WORSE things to worry about. I don't have the TV on if he walks away from it or during meal time. I also talk to him about the shows while they are on. Wait till your child plays viedo games and like the one comment. cell phones, ipods and all the gadgets out there. If you are happy with your day care other then the TV then so be it. If not maybe look into Kindercare. They have no TV and its super structured which hurt my son in the end. They run a super tight ship there and do everything by the book. They wanted him to be a robot. Mom's have enough work raising kids and we want to do all the right things for our children but pick your batttles carefully. If your allowing tv to give your child the love and attention they need them yes, that would be a concern.

SAHM, 39, super active funny almost 3 yo son and a 4month old son who is full of smiles and happy as can be.

I agree with others who say a little TV is probably not harmful but I would not be happy about all day. Both because that's not the environment I want for my child, but it's probably distracting the care giver.

But I would also add that a good care giver NEVER minimalizes a parent's concerns... especially a new mom. That she made you feel like you're making a fuss over nothing is a red flag to me. Unless you're the kind of parent who fusses and complains about every little thing (and I don't think you are), she should listen to your concerns and give them the respect and consideration they deserve.

I would shop around for another provider. Probably no need to rush and pull her out right away. It seems like she's okay for the short term. Take the time to find something you like better.

Good luck!
L.

It's unlikely that you will get her to stop having the TV on. Some people just like the TV to be on all the time, you'll just have to decide if that is an issue that you want to make a stand on and it will probably mean moving your child to another daycare. When we were interviewing for child care, we did find a lovely lady with only one other kid there, but she did tell us that she uses the TV for "back ground noise", in the end we chose the woman who didn't have a TV at all in the playroom. I felt very strongly that too much TV is bad for development and new studies have been released that even TV on in the background that the kids aren't watching is affecting their ability to concentrate and focus on their play, and I also believe that it affects the caregiver's ability to focus on your child too. Will it give your child ADD? unlikely, but you need to make a decision about what is important in how your child is raised, she will spend a lot of time being influenced by the situation at day care and you should be happy with your choice.

Hi C.,
Everyone is very opinionated on this topic. I've got a 3yr old daughter and 1 and a half yr old son. Both go to preschool five days a week as my husband and I both work fulltime. Their preschool is accrediated and has a full curicullum that is posted for me to see at all times. There is not a TV in the place! Which I LOVE! However... as soon as we get home at night, the TV goes on to Sprout and stays there until they're out! With that said, let me tell you about our first daycare provider, she was licensed and had two other infants, INFANTS and she did not ever leave her home during her working hours, which I also LOVED. I had to leave my little baby with someone I barely knew and had to be comfortable with that AND be able to get through a 10 hr workday. It worked well until she was just about a year old and we moved to Hercules and I found thier current school. Now, the TV was always on when I got there day and night, but it was cartoons always. She had structured days as well, gave me a daily logs with times of naps, diaper changes, bottles/feedings etc. I felt that if TV helped her take good care of my child as an infant I was ok with that, besides we were given a huge collection of Baby Einstiens which she watched always. She is now 3 and thanks to preschool, she has the vocab of a 5yr old, she spks Spanish, and does Sign Language. She also knows the words to EVERY song on TV and not, knows the names of EVERY character in every story and Sprout show. And is an amazing little girl, her lil brother is right behind her. They both love TV, but LOVE school more. Given the option, they make the right choice and choose playing vs. TV. So, I fear that you stressing about a lil TV while your infant is being well cared for might be worse on you, then any TV is on your baby. Good Luck on your choice, C.

C.,
Unfortunetly a lot of Childcare providers use it as a way to deal with kids and not to have to spend as much time watching them and more time doing other things. You always have to consider how much you pay, what you can and can't put up with and how many kids are in their care. If those are your wishes then the care provider should be able to acomodate. I unfortunetly had providers that put my daughter in front of the TV and she's like a TV zombie now. I let her watch TV very little always....even now but people do what's easier for them not you. You have to stay strong in your views if you're not them people will do as they wish. You may want to look into another care provider if it upsets you.
I hope you find what you're looking for. I do think it's better for kids not to have TV it's a bad habit for anyone. I stopped watching TV it just takes time away from things you can be doing that are more active.

i really dont see what the big deal is with TV can you remebr back to when you were a child and i am sure the TV was on a lot also and we are just fine. i let my childeren watch TV but we also limit it to the Sprout channel or PBS and for the most part my children ignore the TV and are in there room playing but it does allow for me to cook dinner and clean the house if they are in the living room. the TV does not raise your child nor does it harm a child to watch TV. there are too many people out there just looking for something to blame as to why thier child is mis-behaving.

My kids were exposed to TV when they were little and now they are 13 and 9 and perfectly normal, thank you very much! At three months old, your baby probably isn't registering much of what's going on on the TV. I would just watch the situation a bit more before deciding to move your child to another day care provider. If you get the impression that the provider is just watching TV and not paying any attention to the children she's caring for/using the TV for a babysitter, or if something really inappropriate is on, then that would be cause for discussion or seeking alternate care.

Hi

I am a new mom with a 3.5 month old little girl. I have the same feelings about TV. My baby was first introduced to TV by her daddy at 2 months and she loves it. Arrgh. And I know the TV is on at the daycare provider's house (she is the only child). So this was my solution, I spoke to the provider and laid some ground rules, the baby can watch TV no more than 30 minutes a day. I explained my thoughts about TV and learning (and yes, she is 3 months but learning can still occur at this young age). And we came to an agreement as to a game plan. Rather than rely on the provider to do the right thing, I went out and purchased Veggie Tales, Baby Einstein and Your Baby Can Read all of which are no longer than 30 minute episodes. As well as little word cards with pictures. I also send over books for her to read to the baby as well as audiobooks/music for her listen to. The provider and I agreed to a simple daily learning routine that includes indoor and outdoor activities and she reports back to me daily. I can tell that she is honoring my requests because when I play the same videos, music etc at home on weekends the baby is responsive. Plus I have daddy do surprise drop ins and pick-ups. Don't get me wrong she isn't reading or speaking... but she reacts in her own baby way. You have EVERY RIGHT to insist and the beauty of it is that you have flexibility there aren't a lot of children. I have a 13 year old step daughter whose parents allowed TV as a primary source of stimulation and we have problems with her reading and school work. Keep trying... and make it easy for the provider they are more likely to adhere to your wishes. Good Luck.

You are right to be concerned. I think a small amount of age appropriate, parent selected programs are ok, but TV should not be used as background noise. And adult or older child programming should never be on for a younger child. Remember at some point your child will start paying more attention to the TV. You should always preview the programming. My son did watch some (not tons) Baby Einstein at under a year old- I think from about 6-18 mo. There is debate over whether this is ok but it seems to have been fine for us. Even Thomas the Train was too scary for him when he turned two and we had to hold off until he was two and a half, and even then we had to watch it with him a couple of times before he was comfortable himself. Now it is his favorite thing along with Caillou on PBS programming. The longer you can keep young children away from the TV the better it is, but practically speaking there comes a time when you have to get certain important things done around the house and TV can help. Just don't over use or abuse TV watching to try and get lesser important things done as well. You are paying for this daycare provider and you should be able to discuss this issue with her and set limits on the time the TV is on, if it has to be on at all. Perhaps you could also talk to the one other childs mother and agree on some DVD's that would be appropriate and ask that only those DVD's be used. Although my son has been exposed to TV he still hit his all his developmental milestones with no problem. You still have to personally work with your child. Mine talks up a storm. He talks better and more than all 9 other children in the toddler room at his daycare (his daycare does not have a TV). Even the daycare providers are suprised. I don't think TV hurt his language abilities at all.In fact, now that he talks we can briefly discuss the actions of the characters or morals of the program. No TV is probably best, but realistically not possible for many parents when at home from time to time. PBS programming overall is very good for those who choose to allow TV. However a daycare provider really shouldn't have a TV on all day- it is their job not only to physically care for the child but to provide a range of age appropriate activities to engage, enrich, and nurture their development and interest in the world around them. You might want to consider a larger daycare where there is no tv, the children spend more time interacting and there are structured activities.

I didn't read all of the replies, but I believe the AAP recommendation and have very strictly limited my daughter's exposure to TV. She's in a similar care situation, and I know that her caregiver lets her son (who'd 5) watch 2 30-minute shows per day. I've agreed to that, but not more. We do watch a small amount of TV at home, but I never let her just sit and watch it.

I'll let her watch a bit when she's 2, but will still limit it to maybe an hour a day at most.

Can you ask her to have it on one of the music channels (not video) instead during the day? They have tons of options, including kids stations that I bet the toddler(s) would like.

I think that you are paying this women to watch your kids, she should honor your request to move the swing. I don't think that you can ask to her to not have the tv on because she is in her own home. I think it sounds like you have a great caregiver and you don't really have anything to worry about. I don't really buy that tv watching increases the chances of ADHD (I personally think ADHD is way over diagnosed in the first place). My daughter has been watching Baby Einstein movies since she was 6 months old and she is doing just fine. The key is to not let kids veg out in front of the tv and to get plenty of exercise.

You have the right to be concerned. At 3 months old, your daughter won't be into tv yet, but she will be. I wouldn't want the tv on constantly, either. A little tv is fine, but if it is on all the time, that is a problem. You may want to have a surprise visit, like pick her up a hour early and see if the tv is still on. Maybe it is only on at certain times? Since you've asked her to turn your daughter away from the tv, see if she complies. Maybe you have some great kids music that you can give her?If she insits on tv, suggest that she only have child shows on. If she doesn't it means that she's not listening to your concerns.

When I interviewed caregivers, I encountered one that turned on the tv in every room that we went into. I knew that wasn't the place for my daughter.

My sister-in-law has the tv on all the time at her house. Her daughters, ages 4 and 2 1/2, are now immune to tv. They can't sit through a movie without being bored.

At my home, tv is something special. It is on only for about 20-30 minutes a day unless we are watching a movie as a family which means it is extra special. My daughters are 4 and 19 months. They both love tv, but since we've limited the amount that they watch, I'm not concerned about ADHD.

Good luck!

From your description, I think you know the t.v. is a regular part of how things work at your child's daycare. I think you need to evaluate wether or not that is what you want. My son goes to a licensed in-home daycare once a week and the t.v. is always on with kid's programing. I decided that one day a week I could handle this. At home the other 6 days of the week I control the t.v. I know if my son had to be in daycare full-time, I would need to find another daycare facility because of this point.

Hi C.

You may have already recieved much advice but I thought I would just give you my two cents...
I have 6 kids (4 my own) My Hubby is a TV watcher BIG TIME
He always has been. My kids were exposed to tv from day one and every day after that. I have not seen any problems from this at all! I think sometimes the "experts" over throw the facts a bit.
if your child is seeing the tv just a bit at day care and she is happy there and the caregiver is great...forget it, find the more importaint issues to worry about. Be sure she gets all the right foods and no sugars and white flour is more importaint than keeping her away from tv.

Hi C.- I have no idea about ADHD and TV but I would not allow a child of any age to spend her days in a home where the TV was on all the time. I assume you want to remain with this daycare provider as your daughter grows. How do you feel about her watching (or listening to) TV all day when she is 1 or 2 years old? Soap operas, talk shows and commercials will be damaging to your child as she grows in so many ways. Don't underestimate what kids take in. It may just be lights and noise to her now but the day is coming very soon when she will comprehend a lot of what's happening on the tube. You don't want her so comfortable with it and as another Mom said what about the other sights and sounds being drown out, like everyday life! Discuss in a non- threatening way turning it off while she is caring for kids. What about the toddler also in her care who is certainly taking in the shows she's watching? Maybe you could use that child's welfare as an example too. Music is a great background noise if she likes that. Everything from Classical, Rock & Kids music would be entertaining, fun & positive for any age person in the house. Good luck!

Dear C.,

By your own account, your child is being well cared for. You have the right to change sitters. Your sitter has the right to tell you to find another sitter. I would sit down and make a pro and con list today. Don't stress over things that do not exist.

If you decide to change daycare, let the caregiver know upfront your DO'S and DON'Ts.

Personally, it seems that you are over reacting, but that is to be expected from a new Mom. I know you would rather be home with your baby. Just be sure not to blow a good thing if you have someone who is taking good care of your child.

Blessings....

Hi C. - Got to read this this Mamasource a day too late, evidenced by the first 58 responses. But I feel I need to reply. YOU, C., ARE THE MOM. You set the boundaries. Your 3 1/2 month old daughter doesn't have a clue what she is seeing or even that it is a TV - that's YOUR perception, Not your baby's! Either stay at home with her or get over what problems you are trying to create. For your information, I stayed at home with my daughter from birth running my own business with the HUGE help from my husband. I was able to volunteer at her preschool, Elemetary and now she is a Freshman in High School and let me tell you Barney was my favorite friend. By the way, my daughter is aceing Algebra and is an honors student. I know you new mom's like to micro manage, but why? Especially when you don't have to? If you don't like your care provider, do it yourself or find a new one.
Sorry to be so blunt and I do wish you well.
Patti b

Hi C.,

Congratulations on your daughter. As first time moms, we do worry about everything.

I found that my daughter did not watch the tv when it was on until she was almost two, and then she discovered Barney. Awful to say, but Barney became our new best friend. Because of Barney I was able to shower in peace, and cook dinner uninterrupted. I think as long as kids are only exposed to positive, age appropriate tv for short periods of time, they will be fine.

Our 15 year old was a horrible tv junkie as a young child. Today he's got a very high IQ and doing extremely well in school. Again, he was only allowed to watch age appropriate shows.

With all of the kids at daycare, your daughter will be exposed to more than tv, and as long as there is nothing inappriate on, she will be fine. Best wishes to you.

J.

As someone whose children love to sit in front of the tv as much as they can, I don't mind it for a few hours a day. Even when my son, now 9, was an infant, he would enjoy watching Baby Einstein, Sesame Street and other PBS shows. That said, he is one of the most mellow, gentle boys I have ever met. I know other moms that say the tv excites their children and makes them hyperactive and tend to "act out" what they see on the tv. This has not been my experience. Neither of my children seem to be negatively affected by the tv.

That said, I would want to make sure it wasn't on constantly. I agree with the suggestion to drop in and check out what is happening during the day in the home. Obviously, if the tv in on during the drop off and pick up times, the provider is not "dressing up" to impress the parents, but I would want to see what is happening when you are not there. You have the right to feel comfortable and supported in every area regarding your child. You know what is best for her.

Hi C.,

Whenever I have fallen asleep in front of a tv in the past, I usually wake up and I have been dreaming about whatever subject they were talking about on TV. TV goes beyound watching, it is heard and processed by the brain in the subconsious as well as the consious. Not only is TV "viewing" bad in that it suppresses brain functions and pathways, it is used as a tool by our nation to train and indoctrinate people into a liberal thinking pattern. It teaches humans to entertain themselves with passive "no brain" action - it makes them lazy. Males in particular, because they are, by their very nature visual creatures, get hooked by TV. Young males get hooked quickly and easily. It can happen rather quickly, and while very young children won't visually aknowledge a tv, in only a few short years an older toddler WILL be hooked. I'd say somewhere between 3-5. Teletubbies and Barney didn't become famous for nothing. And again going back to what I said earlier about how TV can train and indoctrinate, look at how the young person is enveloped and becomes obsessed with those same images- they must have barney or Dora toys, food, bedding, birthdays, clothes, lunchboxes, etc. If the TV is on adult themes, so much more that child will be infused with these ideas by the time they are gown, they will have heard the same jargon millions of times. A wise saying: "Teach a child the way he should go, and when he is old he will not veer from it"

In communist North Korea, households are wired for speakers that continuously pump socialist propaganda into the household ...and cannot be turned off! They are forced to hear it and be brainwashed by its communist content. This continuos brainwashing is how they keep the people suppressed and in line. The children are forced to go to after school programs so late into the evening that they have no time for freedom, freedom to think, to do , or to act as they want. Or to spend time with family. They are kept so busy no one has time to question the way things are. In our own country, media spoon feeds us only very carefully selected propaganda and programming as well. And it is no accident that schools send home so much homework nowadays the kids have time for NOTHING else. No time to read a Bible, a true book on democracy, or anything else that would differ from the Socialist propaganda material being feed them in the school.

I cant say enough bad things about TV. We had our cable turned off 4 years ago and only have tv if we put in a video. This was a fight to get this accomplished! My husband is hooked on visual media. he grew up in a home alone, out in the desert with the nearest neighbor 2 miles away. He used tv to fill his time, and he is very easily hypnotised by visual media.

We also homeschool,thank God. We spend a lot of time reading, interacting, talking. and for children who have tv, they are more inclined to turn on a tv than they are to read a book. In fact the whole family will sit around this Boob tube, acting like they've had a labotomy. SO SAD. This nation will never be taught what true freedom, liberty and justice is, because they never open a book to read about it ,and it is not taught in the public schools anymore.

No, a child won't shrivel up and die if they are exposed to TV, but in ever so subtle ways, they ARE affected.

Hi C.,

I know several hyperactive kids and I strongly believe that things like ADHD are genetic and could not be caused by watching too much TV. I had read about that study when it first came out. I don't dispute their survey results, but I do question their conclusions. I have a child with behavioral issues. Her behavior is very draining/taxing on me. I have to admit that she watches more TV than I would like, just because it helps me stay sane. I imagine it is the same for parents of kids with ADHD.

From what you've said, I don't think your day care provider will stop watching so much TV even if you speak to her again about it. I think she would just try to time things so the TV is off when you arrive. I personally don't think it will do your daughter any harm, especially while she is still an infant. You could take however much time you need to find another day care situation that you think would be better.

Good luck,
D.

I was a stay at home mom for the first 5 months and I always had the tv on for background noise. My daughter then went to daycare but at night I would have the tv on too. Other than a love of Disney channel she turned out fine. Maybe the ADHD dianosis is because of parents who use it to babysit and the children don't get enough attention and grow up with behavior problems. I hope this helps!

You are probably making a fuss about nothing, but I totally understand that feeling of wanting to do the perfect thing. I had to go to work when my daughter was 5 months old, and my husband stayed home with my daughter for the first 2 years of her life, and there were fishing shows on in the background. I would always complain when I came home, as she'd be playing blocks or napping and the Outdoor channel would be on. That's not all she was exposed to during the day, thank goodness. She has always had access to kid shows, and I used to nurse her to sleep when I was watching my own TV shows at night. I'd love to tell you all I watched was masterpiece theater, but honestly it was probably Extra and a few CSI's.

My kid probably knows a bit more about bass and striper weigh-ins than normal 3 y.o., but she's in a day care full time now where the kids TALK about commercial-type shows targeted at kids and now is when we are having trouble with the TV issues. She wants to see the junk her friends are watching because they talk it up! I have banished all mention of High School Musical and Bratz, so she at least knows not to ask about it. So much for Elmo!

If you really can't stand it now while your daughter is young and not paying attention to any of this stuff, you at least can take some time to look for someone you think is more appropriate, since you know you have a caregiver who is pretty adequate for now.

Edit: I'm now reading everything in this thread. I'm thoroughly enjoying that some of the more radical anti-TV moms not only home-school their tykes, but cannot spell to save their lives. Additionally some of the most fascinating ideas about germ theory and radioactive small electronics...someone should email JAMA stat.

3 Cheers for Sesame Street and shows like Electric Company!

The TV is way too much stimulus for babies - even as background noise. Commercials are fast paced and voices can be angry on previews for other shows/news, etc. If she won't handle your concern seriously, I would change caregivers. When you are ready for your toddler to watch TV you will want to choose the programs (preferably DVD with no commercials.) And you will want to watch with her.

Hi C. -

I'd be suspect about the research on TV leading to ADHD -- HOWEVER -- the daycare provider should have a strict policy about how many hours a day the TV is on, and 'all day' is not a good answer.

If she has non-kid shows on, it means she is watching (or listening to) TV instead of interacting with the kids. This is babysitting, not child care. If she has kid shows on, it means that she has it on to distract the kids, again, rather than providing them with enough stimulus, which is babysitting, not child care.

Having said all of that, if this is her routine, you are not likely to change her, and sadly, a lot of home-based child care providers do the same thing. It was one of the primary reasons I took my daughter out of a home-based center and put her into a larger center -- where she got the stimulation (and quiet time) that she needed -- without TV.

Best of luck,

J.

Hi there,
You sound so much like me and my situation. My son is now 13 months old but has been with his daycare provider since he was 3.5 months old. Same situation - the provider only has 1 other child she watches (which is fantastic and RARE to find) but the tv is on quite a bit - always when I drop them off and sometimes at night. My feeling was this....no one is going to do everything exactly how you would do it. So I had to ask myself what were THE most important things to me for my child's daycare... and what it boiled down to were: Is he getting loved, is he getting enough attention, will she follow my routines (eat/sleep/changing), and is he safe. So although I'm not crazy about the tv I can live with it because our daycare person is fantastic and he loves going there. She loves him so much. I hope this may have helped - please feel free to email me if you have q's!! K.

You decide how to raise your daughter. Daycare at her age seems very sad. I would work on being home.

Your daughter will be watching TV in that home. If you make a fuss the caregiver will hide it from you, but continue to have the TV on when you arent there.

My 6yo was watching a Goofy DvD the other day and my 1yo and I were playing. My 1yo started emulating Goofy with his toy fishing pole and then laughing. He wasnt even watching TV, just glancing here and there... My point being if its on in the room they are watching.

My neighbor used to run a day care at her house and the TV was on ALL DAY. I used to take my daughter to an in home day care once a week and more often than not the TV was on - both children and adult programming (when some of the kids were napping). Since my child was there only once a week I didn't really care. But I do think that many people used TV as background noise and since it is her home and her business I'm not sure you can tell her how to live her life or run her business.

However, what I observed is that most of the kids got tired of the TV after a while and would play and use the TV as background noise. Personally, I wouldn't want my children to get used to the constant drone of the TV. My brother and his wife have their son at a Montessori preschool and that might be a better fit for your lifestyle and values. Good-luck.

Hi everyone! I am about to make myself extremely unpopular! I belive that TV is detrimental to children's physical and neurological development. I am unaware of any studies that conclusively link TV and ADHD, but there are numerous scientific studies citing large and small motor delays, delayed language acquisition, and obesity... I think the AAPs recommendations are small steps toward screen safety for our children.
I support all thinking mothers decisions regarding the rearing of their children, and understand every family makes choices based on what works for them.
Good Luck making the courageous choices all caring mothers face daily to create fabulous families!
D.

C., I completely agree with AAP. Did I put my son in front of Baby Einstein once in a while - of course I did. I think most of us use the TV at one point in the day as the 'baby sitter' so we can have that "moment" to get something done.

It sounds like the two of you have a little bit different opinions on a very big topic. Although it is difficult to find a new day care you may need to if this is important to you. Only you know what is best for your daughter. If you decide to find a new daycare then I think it would be very important to bring up this topic when you interview your next caregiver. Ask her what her policy is about TV. How long is it on during the day. What shows do they approve of? I am of strong opinion that children are distracted by TV. Think about it, if you keep her there and a year goes by, now she is 15 months - walking, crawling, babbling, etc. She will definitely be aware of what is on the TV and it will distract her from her play. Not a good thing.

Sorry to ramble - hot topic, short on time.

G

Studies do not have an ability to say that TV watching increase the likelihood of ADHD. What they have found is that kids with ADHD are at an increased likelihood to have been exposed to TV at a younger age. They don't know what way it goes, it could either be that yes TV increases the chance that kids who are already predisposed to ADHD will be more likely to get it or it could be that parents with kids who turn out later to be ADHD are more likely to have their kids watch TV to help deal with their hyperactivity. I'm a Psychology student almost done with my BA and it is constantly stressed to us that a study where its done by a survey cannot measure causality. There are many children who are exposed to TV that aren't ADHD.

Limit the amount of TV she is exposed to and you may ask the day care provider if she would be willing to put on a children's program like KVIE or Sprout or the Disney Channel. As long as she is paying enough attention to your daughter and the other child then it should be fine. What you should be worried about is if your daughter is being stimulated enough.

i agree with the others. i wouldn't feel comfortable with my baby watching or listening to tv all day. this lady is working and therefore shouldn't be watching tv. if it's for background noise, ask her to use a radio. when i'm fortunate enough to stay home with my daughter, we don't have the tv on (she's 13 mo now, although she watches hockey with dad). i'm not very crunchy granola, but i think the tv has to go. good luck!

Wow, it kinda sounds like you are with my OLD daycare provider! : ) It was just my 3 month old son and a toddler that really should have been in preschool. I had the same issues, I felt like she sat my son down in front of the TV in the swing the second I dropped him off and when I would come to get him he would be in the same spot! Now I know that it is impossible for him to be there the whole day, but when I had to ASK her to do tummy time (because it was obvious she wasn't doing it) I pulled the plug. I felt like such a failure that I had choosen the wrong provider for my son and it was very difficult for me to move him. But in the long run, although the inital transition was hard, I am much happier and found that his development skyrocketed once he was out of there. The best advice I can give is if she does not share your views/values it may be time to move. When looking for a new provider make sure to ask them how much the tv is on, and any other concerns you may have. The provider I use now has minimal TV time and that works for me. Most of the time my son is on the floor playing, crawling, pushing-up, etc. I can go to work and know that he is having a great time everyday! : )

I have had the same concern with my provider and unfortunatly I just have to continue to be on her about it. It makes me expecially nervous since we are coming up on Winter which means more indoor time.

My opinion and what works for me is to keep on her about it, it's you child and your paying her for a service you should be able to make requests like that.

I have a 2 year old who went to her for a year and than is back now that i'm off maternity leave and he's excelled in a lot of things (can do his colors, count to 5, tie shoes, etc. etc) but in slower in some other aspects....not sure if there is a corolation (he is also a plagio kid so that may explain some things).

It's hard putting your child into someone else's care....but remember, no matter how much you love your provider and are their friend, they are still doing a service and you need to be firm on your needs and wants. Hopefully they will understand, but if not, it might be time to move on.

K.

Hi C.
Good for you being media saavy. This is tough decision and you may need to change child care providers. If this lady has been doing this for years, you may not be able to change her. The TV may be background noise for her. I did not allow TV for my daughter until 2 and even now at 7 she only has TV on Fridays and the weekend. There is no whining or discussions during the week about watchin TV - in fact we cancelled out cable subscription in August and its DVDs or a static as a viewing choice in our house. The American Academy of Pediatrics is very black and white about TV exposure before the age of 2. They say no to any TV before 2. There is also no data that supports the "educational" tv for the 2 years and younger set. If you caregiver is not interested in this information or willing to change then she does not have the best interest of children in mind, and you need to find another care giver. She is ignoring your wishes as a parent and as nice and grand motherly as she may be she is providing a service to you. Good luck - I know switching child care providers isn't easy, but if she won't respect or listen to your wishes on this - what else is she ignoring that you ask of her.