Have any of you been through couples/marriage counseling?? If so, how has the experience been for you? We have started going (been to 4 or 5 sessions now) and I have to say I've been a little under impressed with the lady we picked. She doesn't seem to remember week to week what we discussed in previous sessions, and her opinion/recommendations on the same subjects seem to change from session to session. Just curious how counseling has worked out for others, did you get a warm fuzzy feeling about your counselor early on or did it take a bit of time, and how long until you started seeing positive outcome of the counseling in your relationship (if at all)?
The wrong counselor can create new problems. This one sounds not just "wrong" but...lousy! Time to look for a new one!
good luck!
We went to one that was not good at all.
Neither one of us thought he was good or competent.
We tried 2 more until we finally found one we loved!
Try another one! Don't give in & stay with this one (it won't do you any
good). Change to another one now.
It's okay if you go though a few to find "your fit".
My husband and I just finished 4 months of counseling. We had one guy at first that just wasn't working for us. We switched, and while the second lady isn't great at all topics she is a much better fit for us. It probably took us 2 months to get back into a good groove. I'd say try another counselor - and another after that if the second doesn't work for you. Good luck with everything. Having marriage problems was one of the most stressful things I've ever been through, but I can tell you that I was at a point that I didn't care or not if we got divorced. Now, we are better than we ever have been (with LOTS of work). It can be done and it can get good. I thought it would just get tolerable, but it got good. Now we are working on making that work a part of our schedule. Yes, we are actually scheduling it b/c it's too easy to let it slip if we don't.
ETA: I just remembered. This is our third counselor. We only saw the first one once and said never again. Keep trying until you get it right.
I think after four or five sessions you can tell if it's a good fit or not, and this doesn't sound like it is, especially if she's not remembering what you discussed the previous week. Is she taking notes?
I think you should look for someone else. I know it's not fun to "start over" but better to do it now than later. Good luck!!!
We start Monday, I will let you know how it goes. I am super excited and scared at the same time. I am afraid the counselor is going to tell us we are incompatible. I am afraid I am going to cry the whole time and not be able to be honest.
I think you should try a different counselor. IMO- I would not like feeling like she did not remenber issues discussed in previous sessions.
I agree ... this does not sound good. You don't have to get a "warm and fuzzy feeling" necessarily, but the counselor should certainly remember what you have discussed! And after 4 or 5 sessions you should feel comfortable / confident about the person.
I don't think it's accurate to say you'll get a 'warm & fuzzy' feeling about your counselor, but this doesn't seem like the right one. You've given her 4-5 tries, that's plenty to decide if it's not working and try another counselor.
We've gone to counseling many times, and we've had, out of four counselors, two that were absolutely wacko. The other two helped us SO tremendously much.
I have to agree with the other posters. My husband and I were lucky to find a gem of a guy. We didn't get the warm fuzzies right away, but he was able to connect with each of us and validate what we were both feeling without taking sides or diminishing the other partner's feelings/opinions.
My guess is that you might need to find someone else. Taking notes is important; some counselors do this after the session, but having a growing rapport is helpful for progress. It sounds like time to move on. Maybe ask someone else for a recommendation for a good marriage counselor in your area? (Does Plano have a parenting website? You might try using that forum anonymously.)
It sounds like this is the wrong fit for y'all. My husband and I have seen a few and we kept trying until we found one that wad a great fit for both of us. It takes only about 3 visits to be certain of that so it is safe to say you gave her a try.
Oan: I'm in school getting my degree to become a marriage and family therapist and am being taught that if by 3-4 visits if progress is not being seen then the treatment plan should be reviewed and possible altered. Be upfront and honest with this counselor maybe he can offer you other set of his skills, treatment plan or a referral to a better fit, he may even be feeling he is not reaching you guys and think another counselor is a.better option.
