Should I Keep Paying This Counselor....

Updated on April 07, 2008
G.B. asks from West Linn, OR
37 answers

Hi,

Okay this is a personal request and it's so hard to talk about, but here it goes..
I am paying a counselor $100.00 an hour to ask advice on an issue. I have done this two to three other times years ago and I only needed to see them a couple of times to get the advice I needed. The problem I am having is the counselor I am seeing wants to go into my life and I don't have the time or money to do that and I don't want to. I just want to deal with a situation that is present right now in my life. The question I am asking to the group is this a reasonable request? Can I seek advice on a particular issue that shouldn't take months or a year? I am not asking the counselor to fix my life, I just want advice and support on a particular issue and that's it. I'm not paying them to do anyting else ($100.00 is alot)! my time is valuable and I don't want to spend it doing theraphy I just want advice. I think theraphy is fine, I am not wanting to pay for that right now, just advice.

Any thoughts on this?

G.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Ladies,

I am so thank-ful for your responses and I wanted you to know that you all gave me the courage to stand up to my counselor and tell her what I wanted from her. I talked with her today and she told me how she had misunderstood what I was asking of her and that she was sorry and would like to start again on the right track. We are now on the right track and the only worry I have left is the timeline in which we need to see things through. Thanks again for those who let me know that I deserve and am worth it to so see my goals met and should stick up for myself and ask for what I want.

My only regret is I didn't ask you all sooner (at $100 hour/time waste stressing) it is a reminder how invaluable this advice can be and I should never do it alone....
Yours Truly,
G.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Seattle on

If advice is all you want, then why are you paying for it? Friends, and family will give it freely and lovingly. Some advice you need to take lightly and others may have very beneficial advice. Take what you want and throw the rest away. With age does come experience, and so I have found that grandparents (if they are still around) do have some great ideas. If you simply cannot ask friends and family there are a myraid if online chat rooms and forums that can be asked and no way is anyone going to know who you are. Look here, you have asked advice from this forum! Way to go!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.P.

answers from Seattle on

It depends on your problem. Sometimes the counselor needs to know more about your past issues before they can get to the bottom of what is causing the problem. If you think it is something that other people can help you with for free, go ahead and give it a try. I have been to counseling on and off for years and I give out what I have learned for free.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Portland on

I don't think it's at all unreasonable to want to focus on a particular issue. It's your life and your money and if that's what's most important to you, then I think you should be the one to direct that. Obviously there may be more to explore related to that issue, but if now isn't the time, I think you are the best person to know that and do what you can do now.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.,

You are using this counselor in the way research has shown many people utilize mental health services. You do not have to pay for any treatment that you do not wish to go into right now. It is ok to come for what is called "solution-focused therapy" and people do take what they learn in one or two sessions and run with it. Nobody has to do "deep work" if they don't want to or are not ready at that time. It may be that you are not at a good place or that you are not a good candidate for insight work. You may be learning insight with the way it is set up now.

Show this counselor how well you are able to keep boundaries and let her know you are not interested at this time. Don't let her convince you that you have some underlying pathology, as is consistent with some of the horror stories I've heard. No means no. Let's see if her boundaries are as sound as yours!

Sincerely,
N. Laurent, M.A., R.C.
Clinical Psychotherapist
Eastside Family Renewal Service
www.FamilyRenewal.net

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Eugene on

G.,

Most counselors would probably say that they do not "give advice". The whole approach to counseling is to work with you to help you come up with your own answers, not to tell you what to do--and they do that by helping you view yourself and your life from a different perspective than you normally have, and by suggesting options that you may not have thought of. But that is an interactive thing.

One thing to consider, though, is that there are many modalities and theoretical perspectives on counseling, and perhaps your counselor's orientation isn't the best for what you are trying to achieve. You might ask about this with the counselor and also look up various theoretical approaches so you can know what to look for.

I hope you are able to find what you are looking for.
Fiora

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Seattle on

NO...you wouldn't buy a shirt you didn't like or couldn't use...don't pay for counseling you didn't ask for...pull out the yellowpages and call a bunch of therapists...also check the community mental health services to see if there is a service that works on a sliding scale so you wouldn't have to pay so much...I found one in my area for as little as $20.00 per session, a session being for 50 minutes...Department of Social Health Services should even be able to provide a list of Mental Health providers in your area that should be more affordable and perhaps what you are looking for...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Seattle on

If you are feeling uncomfortable with what your counselor is saying consider this. Is there an issue you have not dealt with? Do you really need help dealing with it? It sounds as though the counselor may have picked up on something. Be honest with your counselor and tell them why you came in the first place. If there is more to examine find a non profit or church affiliated counseling service. They may have a sliding fee which would be less expense for you. If you attend a church, most churchs have counselors on staff. Also your Pastor would be more than willing to help you. I will pray for resolution and guidance for you. God Bless!

1 mom found this helpful

A.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.. I am excited to be a part of this group also and would like to send a warm welcome your way. I know there are a lot of different experiences and perspectives on counseling, and I can only go from my own personal experience. I did seek counseling for a year from a local church, and it was great to open the door for me to get a fresh perspective. I have been reading some of the responses here and one mentioned that you can get counseling based on a sliding scale, which is absolutely true. My daughter benefited greatly from The Center for Counseling in Edmonds (they also have other offices in the Puget Sound Area) and they offered me a reduced rate based on my income. You can also visit their website at www.aplaceofhope.com. After my own counseling I got connected with a local church and rededicated my life to Jesus Christ. I had come from a very dysfunctional background with a lot of negative results and bad choices. Today I am enjoying life more now at age 38 than I ever have. If you would like to know more about that feel free to write me anytime. God bless you! -- A.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Seattle on

Fire them. They are under your employ. They do not know better than you what you need and I am highly suspect of the desire to pad ones bank account whilst delving into someones history when they are simply there to address one specific issue. Follow your instincts, you are right on.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Portland on

Would you ask a roofer to just roof and forget about the possibility of dry rot in the timbers underneath? Extreme example, I know, but true. Your counselor may not know the best answer to give you without the background, or your problem statement may lead her to detect an underlying issue.

If this counselor has a repor with you, $100 is cheap for long-term satisfaction. On the other hand, if the report is not there or you truely see no benefit, stiuck to your guns. But son't be surprised if the counselor says it is not consistent with professional ethics to just re-roof.:>

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.T.

answers from Seattle on

The reason that your counselor wants to know background is probably so he can understand where the issue is steming from. I can't imagine that he would be a very good counselor if he did not try to get some background. That said, I know that really good counselors or therapists are hard to find and since it is your hard earned time and money you should make sure you have a really good one. When you meet a new one you should think of it as if you interviewing them so that you don't waste your time, money and emotion on one and then decide to find another. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Seattle on

G.,

If it was me, I would let the counselor know exactly what you have told us. Then, if the counselor doesn't feel like they can give you advice without "going into your life", then switch to a different counselor. I have a friend that had a similar experience to yours with a counselor. The friend was going to stop seeing the counselor, but then decided to tell the counselor exactly what was needed and the counselor was able to help without going into past history.

E.S.

answers from Richland on

A counselor's job is to find out what is causing the issue in the first place and then to teach you to prevent it in the future. I would not recommend going to a counselor if you don't want to get into it. However, if you want to get rid of the issue entirely so it doesn't pop up again, you might want to try longer-term counseling. If you just want advice, find another adult you trust, maybe even an older one, to ask. It doesn't have to be a relative, but if you have an older relative you trust, just ask. They might have dealt with the same issue.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Spokane on

Hi G.,
I think you should just tell your counselor that you just want help on the single issue and that's all. Your counselor probably wants to give you the right advice and without all the information, it would be general advice for a temporary fix. Good luck,
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.J.

answers from Seattle on

You are asking for advice through Mamasource right now :) ...why not consider using an internet community to ask for advice on this particular issue? You could also talk to someone at any local church. You wouldn't have to commit to attending that church and I'm pretty sure it would be for free. But, if you keep getting the same "answer" from counselors (e.g. wanting to dive deeper) think long and hard that maybe facing a reaccuring problem (or related problem)head on is the hardest, but best solution. When WILL the right time be, if not now? I wish you luck and best wishes ;)

Take care,
C. J

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Eugene on

Hello -
I understand your frustration in wanting to look at one particular issue and not your life history. First of all, have you talked to your counselor about this and explain that the cost is a concern for you? Some counselors are willing to have a sliding scale for their clients if they are aware that the finances are a problem.

I have done counseling on and off when I have been stuck in my own life and understand that sometimes you just want to know what you want to know when you want. I also know that for me and in hindsight, I needed to look at more than one issue to really uncover what was at the core of those issues. My counselor and I got to the point where we could laugh about the fact that I could dance around this "puddle" of stuff and sometimes stick my toe in, but never just jump in to look at the real underlying issue. It was a scary process, but once I was finally ready to look at the real issue and had the tools and skills to cope (developed with the help of counseling), it turned out the puddle was just that and I was able to move on from it.
I also realize that sometimes an issue is just an issue and doesn't have layers and layers of stuff from the past that has built up and you just want some good solid advice about it. Again, bring that up with your counselor and be really honest with them and yourself. Your money will be better spent if your are.
I hope that helps and good luck with whatever you need advice on as well as figuring out what to do about the counseling. TC

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Seattle on

I would say that the counselor is doing his or her job and they are doing what they are trained to do, BUT it's your life and you are in charge of your health. Does therapy "work" on someone who doesn't want it? I don't think so. If you don't want therapy, you should just put that on the table like you have done above to us here on this list. Tell the person directly what you want from him or her and if he or she says they don't just want to give advice, then say good bye.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Seattle on

It's clear that this particular counselor is not giving you the satisfation. I think you should move on. You are right. It's a lot of money to spend and not get any results. Some of them work differently than others, but they should know by now what you are looking for. I don't know if have a chosen religion, but if you seek out a local church, there is help. They can guide you to a better solution. Tell them what your situation is and what you want out of it. Sometimes, it's simple as seeking and following a different path to life.

Good Luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I personally think that a counselor isn't any more knowledgeable on your life issues than anyone else in life.

When I want advice, I go to my friends and my sisters and ask their opinion. They know me better than a counselor possibly could in a 1-hour session, and can probably do a better counseling job than a so-called counselor.

You didn't mention if you have a church you belong to, or people you respect in your life - there are a lot of people you can get free advice from that will probably do better than a 1-hour counselor. I can understand why the counselor wants more than 1 session - they want to make sure that they understand who you are before giving any advice.

I grew up in a culture that if you had a problem, you talked to your friends and family - not a psychiatrist. Why is it, in America everyone wants you to go to a psychiatrist or a counselor if you have a problem? That is flat-out wrong. If you have close friends or family that you trust, you don't need one. If there is a couple that you know and you respect them and their lifestyle- they are perfect for you to ask counseling from. I know an older couple (in their 70s) that are very sweet, always helping everyone - and I would go to them in a heartbeat if I had an issue I didn't know how to resolve. Either that, or my priest is wonderful too. My children's Godparents are great as sounding boards as well.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.S.

answers from Anchorage on

I would have to say No! I agree they want to delve into every event in our lives and well, quite frankly I am with you...what does that have to do with right now? Remember, they are doing their jobs if they can keep you coming!
I am a nail tech (ie counselor) and I would recommend talking to someone in your life that will be honest but not spare your feelings!That doesn't mean a friend necessarily!Just someone close enough to give you an objective opinion.I hope this helps.I have several clients that like to just ask my opinion. It helps that I majored in Psych!
I read only a couple responses but wanted to make it short and sweet.
Good Luck,
G.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Seattle on

i believe that if you have issues in your lifew that are the cause of this need to go back every once in a while that you should get that dealt with, but it doesn't sound like that to me and to be quiet frank may people have "messed up" lives so to speak and don't need to have it all fixed especially if all the fixing is going to do is teach you how to deal with it, which you would already be doing anyways. So i guess my advise would be that if you feel like things in your life are causeing reaccuring problems and you see it as an issue then you shoudl go back until it is fixed and if you feel like your life is fine dispite a few bumps here and there (which you seem to be dealing with) then just leave it the way that you have it. i think that you would know if you needed more therapy (so to speak) especailly since you have sought out thuer advise before. (if is aint broke don't fix it unless your the goverment then fix it til it is, hehehe) hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.A.

answers from Eugene on

You have several options-- since you say that you have done this before with other counselors (gotten advise without intensive therepy)-- perhaps it's time to find a different counselor. I understand your position, as I have been there myself-- however, at some point in time it will probably be worth your while to go ahead with the more intesive therepy---evidently this counselor is sensing there are issues that would be best dealt with -- but if the dollar requires that they be saved for another day, so be it.

Another option is to find a good support group, especially one that deals with whatever your issue is--- there are many free services and support groups available to women--a friend of mine swears by WomanSpace in Springfield. I'm sure others could be found--city offices may have listings of resources.

Best Wishes--- M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Richland on

Hi G. - No I don't think you are off base in your need, but the advice you are seeking (what ever it may be) is sometimes found in your history. The quick fix sometimes only band aids things, and later they come back. This may not be your case, and the amount they are charging you is serious. I don't know where you are going, but there are other doctors out there. There may be someone better suited to help you. The other consideration is support groups in our area that may be free and meet on a regular basis. There is a female Counselor in the OBGYN office at 945 Gothels.I think they are call Womens Physicians Network in Richland. I would really suggest the OBGYN doctors in there for you, but they have a Counselor for women on staff and she takes insurance through the main office to assist the female patients. Just a thought. S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi G.,
As a counselor myself, I can tell you that it is very important to be up front w/ the person you are seeing and tell him/ her what you are expecting from them. Just be honest and re-state the reason you sought help in the first place, refocusing conversations back to the issue at hand. Your counselor is there to listen to you and to help you. They will understand and respect your wishes. They may also have resources for accessing support at a sliding scale, which would make it easier should you decide to continue.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.,

As a therapist, I can tell you that it it the therapist's job to bring to your attention concerns that he or she has about you that if not addressed, could be harmful down the line. They may also relate to the issue you have brought to the table. You may be repeating a long-standing pattern that is firmly rooted in the past.

However, IF and WHEN you choose to address that issue should be entirely up to you. You have the right to terminiate therapy at any time, if you so choose, or if you decide that the therapist is not a good match for your needs. You also have the right to choose which issues to focus on at the present time.

If this is a therapist you have been seeing for issues occasionally for the few times you have engaged in brief therapy over a period of years and they know you well- I would encourage you to hear them out. Sometimes, biting the bullet and dealing with an issue saves a lot of money and grief in the long run. However, if this therapist doesn't know you that well, I would talk with them about whether they are the right therapist for you- and if they are offended or defensive about that- I wouldn't recommend that therapist.

One last thing... a therapist's job is really not to give advice. They can provide information about emotional/behavioral issues, but ultimately, our job is more to help you know what your choices are- and then NOT to make them for you, because you are perfectly capable of deciding that for yourself.

Good luck.
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Portland on

It is not unreasonable that the councelor asks you to continue comming and to dig deaper into your life. Most often, there is an underlying bigger reason for the problem, and the problem is just a symptom. Your quick fix is better than nothing though, and if you don't have the money, then don't feel bad about telling the councelor that. The problem is that the solution may also be short lived.

Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Seattle on

[scratching my head in puzzlement] If you're not interested in therapy (i.e. counseling) but only want advice, why don't you take a couple of friends (or perhaps your mother) out for a nice dinner and ask them for their advice? They would know you better than a therapist who only gets to know you for an hour or two. If you want the advice from a stranger, why don't you call in to an advice show for free.

Depending on the nature of your issue, I would actually suggest that you spend the money on getting advice from a family attorney. There's a reason one of our titles is "counselor." The vast majority of what a lawyer does is to give advice (and our job security comes from the fact that most people don't TAKE our advice!) If your problem has to do with money, why don't you spend the money to get advice from a CPA? I guess I just don't understand why you'd want to go to a counselor when you aren't actually interested in counseling!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Portland on

I think you should find another counselor to see. And tell him/her up front that you just want help with your problem/advice. If him/her does not want to do it that way go on to the next.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Bellingham on

Just ask us. I'm sure you'll get what your looking for in an honest an unbiased manner. Please don't be afraid to ask. We've all had difficult times to deal with.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.T.

answers from Portland on

Hi G.,
I have seen counselors in the past, mostly to deal with relationship issues. One of the things they should respect and honor is your time, finances, and specific issue you are dealing with. If you don't want to delve into every crevis of your life history, you shouldn't. If they push, I think they are putting their own interests ahead of yours. If you are uncomfortable, find a new counselor--they are working for you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from Bellingham on

G.
I have had a similar experience twice in my life. wo times I was seeing a therapist for short term to work through single issues. the first a massive car accident when I was young, insurance only paid to a certain dollar amount in this case, after my allowance ran out I stopped counseling. he second situation was at the end on a three year engagement that I broke off. the relationship was very problematic, I was only in therapy maybe two months, I determined when I was finnished. I was upfront both times with my therapists what my purpose was. to be honest they did not ask too many questions, mostly listned to my personal dialogue as I sorted things out and vented. you may want to meet a new therapist. you might find someone better suited to you style/needs. If you are paying them then they work for you, you are the boss, don't let them boss you around. When I need to be assertive, but not always feeling it, I think of my beautifull boys, they always empower me, to my boys I am the queen of the world. Picture your daughters hand in yours, think of the way she looks at you in awe.
Good luck. Mama W.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Seattle on

hi G.,
You didn't mention it,. but is there some reason you cannot go back to the counselor you have previously visited? They already know your 'story' and then you could move ahead with your cuurent issue.

OR - if you do need to see a new therapist, perhaps you could write your 'story' out for them so they know your backround & then include a part of what you are currently seeking - ie.. come to an understanding of how much you are willing to see them (3,4 6 visits or whatnot) and that you understand they would like some history, but pretty much what you wrote to all of us here. about how you want advice on one issue.
You may also find,. one issue in itself - can be brought to light if other factors are explored.
best of luck,. -m

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

There are several different ways to focus when providing counseling. I have had counseling with a more Freudian approach which means we did delve into my early life experiences. I found helpful at the time. Currently I'm seeing, when I need to talk with a professional person, a counselor who prefers not to go into the past and focuses on what is happening currently. As another mother said he doesn't give advice but helps me to find an answer for myself based on my current situation. Both styles have been helpful at different times.

I do like to relate my current emotional reactions to the way in which I grew up thinking certain things and so when this counselor didn't seem to be going in the same direction as I was going I asked him about his focus and told him what I wanted. We have arrived at a way of communication which seems to be somewhere in between the two ways of looking at things. I don't spend as much time as I did with the Freudian psychiatrist but I'm getting the help that I need.

I think it would help you if you talked with the counselor about what you want from counseling and see if he's able to provide that. It's possible that you would do better with a different counselor or that once you let this one know what you want he can make adjustments to his way of directing you. Or perhaps will explain to you why knowing more about your background will be more helpful than the superficial approach of advise only. Actually I've known several counselor/therapists in my professional life and have had some counseling training and it's rare for a counselor/therapist to give advice. As Isaid, they listen and ask you questions so that you can make your own decision. Friends and family can and usually do give advice. Professionals usually don't.

The one that I currently see from time to time will sometimes give his opinion on logistical questions such as when I say "this is what I want and how do I do it?" He refers me to people who may be able answer my questions if the matter is more practical than emotional and he doesn't know how I can obtain my goal. For example when I'm having difficulty with a friend or family member he suggests that I try different approaches. If the reason that I'm having difficulty is best addressed somewhere else he'll tell me. He doesn't tell me which one is the best. He does encourage me as well as help me see the "problem" from different angles. I believe that his suggestions are based on what he knows about me from several meetings that we've had. To be effective I believe that a counselor does need a description of your background as well as an understanding of your life now and how it affects the reason for your wanting "advice."

Unfortunately, $100/session is the norm. However, you can go to a clinic that offers a sliding scale fee arrangment. Your current therapist may know of ones in your area. County Health Departments and schools that teach therapists are the two resources that I know about. Pacific University located in Forest Grove has an office in downtown Portland. There are other non-profit organizations which also offer a sliding fee scale. Some are specialized such as those who treat children and provide family services. Hospitals provide classes that address different issues and their fee is minimal.

Look until you find the counselor that best meets your needs. First, discuss what you want and how they approach counseling before leaving the counselor that you have or starting with a new one. You most certainly do not have to continue paying for therapy that you don't find useful. I do add, though, that sometimes we resist counseling that is in the long run most helpful because it brings up negative issues we'd rather not think about even tho they have an affect on the situation that has created the need for "advise."

My first therapist asked me why I was afraid. I didn't even realize that I was afraid of several things and did not trust that I could have any success in life. My immediate reaction to her was anger. I only saw her a few times and probably continued because my sessions were covered by insurance. Because I questioned her belief I started reading and then started with a psychotherapist that was unpaid by insurance. Several years later I went back to her and found that while looking back at our earlier sessions realized that she was right. I resolved my issue with the counselor by reading and seeking another professional's advice. The question that started this quest was "what can I do to be happy." I did have specific quesions related to that question such as how do I manage working with supervisors that I thought were being unreasonable? I wanted advice, not an analysis. I'd never would have become happy without first knowing why I was unhappy. She could have told me to find other work but I wouldn't have learned anything from the negative experience that I was trying to avoid. I stayed with the job, learned an immense amount about myself and how to get along with difficult people. I would not have learned much of anything if she'd given me advice that I followed without knowing why I was having this difficulty.

My experience may be unrelated to your search for advice. But my advice about finding a counselor that suits your needs is a One size fits all" sort of information. I hope that it is helpful to you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Eugene on

Hi G.,
resolveing issues is really getting to the meat of the issue and what tools to use to finally come to terms with what ever your issue is. A counselor helps someone who doesn't have those tools to imploy. It seems to me that when you went to the counselor before you were helped to use some tools for resolving you issues then. Most times these are there you just need to redirect and come to an honest clear understanding. when you go to a counsler you get backup and your able to verbalize some reasonings and get feed back on the reasoning. You may be somewhat to close to the issue to see options. They are not so its easier to help you see where your thinking is off alittle.
Try writing out what your problem is and see it in print.
that helps to slow down your mind and allow other thoughts.
I've been to a counselor and it was for a year. but i had some very deep issues that affected my life. I suffered from ptsd and i didn't know how to deal with triggers. so i learned alot about tools that can help me.You sound pretty balanced and i think deep down you know just what you have to do to get a handle on whats the problem. But you want backup.
Well, I support your smart move, save some money if you think you can handle this on your own using tools,do it.
If you want to save money there are books you can read that deal with most issues in life. glean from them what you feel right with and try it. cheaper and you will gain more insight by trial and error. thats how we learn.
hope you get the advise and it works.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Eugene on

well from experience your new problems will n ot go away until you get to the roots of some old so relax and go with the counselor or if you go to a church seek out help from them finding a less expensive counselor. There are good ones out there that cost less. Mental health in your town will have them on a sliding scale for income. Research it but talk. Been there many times. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.F.

answers from Portland on

Find a counselor who'se approach matches yours. They will still ask a few history questions but it won't be the whole hour and it will only be for background.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Seattle on

If your not looking for long term theraphy and paying $100.00's this is the best place to just get short term advice. So What is the problem? Angelwings

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches