Child Care - Cleveland,TX

Updated on July 22, 2010
S.R. asks from Houston, TX
11 answers

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter, whom I am slowly getting her used to child care, I have only taking her 3 days last week for about 2 to 3 hours a day.. She is used to grandma watching her, but due to the fact I missed alot of work last year because for some odd reason she couldn't watch her, I had to miss work. And when my mom came down to try and watch her, she wouldn't eat, drink, talk, or go potty the whole time I was at work I am having a hard time dealing with this and afraid she will do the same in daycare. Can anyone give me advice, on how long will she get use to daycare, will she eat, she is my pride and joy, and i HATE that she has to go. my heart just goes out to her when she cries.
thank you

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

It is very hard on part timers to adjust to daycare. Try to keep her schedule exactly the same until she makes the adjustment. To be completely honest, some children never adjust to a day care setting. If at the end of one month she has not improved, I would look at a different daycare.
Eating is up to her. She will be offered food every two hours( snack, lunch, snack) Sometimes children eat sometimes not. We encourage them to eat and that is all we can do.
Most likely she cries when you leave, stops after about 10 min, and may have several times during the day that she cries- this is handled by a caring provider. If you are able, pop in unexpected a couple of times and see how she is doing. Any good day care will not mind. Talk to her teacher and the director.

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H.R.

answers from Houston on

Ok coming from a pre-k teacher she'll be ok really. I know it's hard and I have been in your shoes I have a 9 year old that at diffrent points in his life had to leave him in child care and go to work. Becasue there is other children her age she'll at least talk to them drink and probably go potty. Actually my son potty trained at day care before he was ever potty trained at home. Eating gets a little tricker but after a few weeks she'll start that to. We have a few kids that are real picky and only eat a few items, mine was that way and it just ment he had a bigger dinner and it is perfectly healthy I have checked with his pediatritions and he was an overly skinny kid. Keep open communication with her regular care givers and if you work together she will adjust a lot quicker. A lot of kids cry when dropped off its for mom's sake and they are typically fine 5 minutes later. If she is having a hard time sometimes have a blanket, stuffed animal or something else from home helps. Es[ecially for nap special pillow or something. Good luck and remember it is usally more painful for the adults then the kids. :)

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S.,R no one can give you that answer, I'm a daycare provider, and most of my children came to me as new borns and grew up with me, but in 13 years i have only had 3 who just could not adjust to daycare. Is there anyway you can stay home with her.? at 3 1/2 they understand the concept of being left, and some times that makes it harder on them, prayfully you have a provider with a lot of patience that will work with her. J.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Just keep taking her, one day she will run to her friends or teacher and will not even look back at you. That part is hard. It really only takes a week or so, but it will make it alot easier on you in the end. Having a good daycare and not having to depend on family or friends that can and do have things come up that keep them from watching your child does happen. With a daycare that is what they are there for. Remember also that your job is important along with you child's safety and care. You both will make it. been there also.

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S.K.

answers from Kansas City on

It is a lot harder for a child to get used to something that is so short and so few days. It really needs to be sink or swim. Just think that if it would take her 2-3 weeks to get used to daycare full-time, it would take 10+ weeks with the schedule you have her on now.

Eating, drinking, and pottying is a life function that must go on. She can't hold out forever. I also agree with Marda that your anxiety is rubbing off onto her. You need to pick a place and person you feel good about and then be happy no matter what. Your daughter will follow a long when she's ready. Good daycare is very positive when people give it a chance.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

I agree, your child is picking up on your emotions. At 3 1/2 they are ready to meet peers and learn social behaviors. Most children need more consistancy, 3 hours a day for 3 days a week may take your child a while to adjust. Can you step it up to 3 hours every day? It's hard, for sure! It's your baby. This is what is best for your family and her. Kindergarten is right around the corner, this will help prepare her. Parents who send their child to child care are still great parents. She will learn to feel comfortable eating and toileting at her new school. Just be sure you have choosen a quality environment that is safe and nurturing. Have you visited: http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

Daycare does take some getting used to, but there are advantages to daycare verse homecare. I'm sure that playing with the toys and other children will be more of a distraction to her and she will forget all about how she is anxious to be separated from you. Plus in daycare they do structured activities, songs, outdoor play. There is so much to keep her occupied.

I used to work in my sons daycare when he was a toddler, please believe me when I tell you that she only cries for 3-5 minutes after you leave. When you drop her off you need to give her a quick hug and kiss, tell her you love her and have a great day and then leave! Do not hang around or let her hang onto you, let the daycare teacher take her and you walk out. Don't let her see you upset just be matter of fact and leave. You can then fall apart in the car, but please know that she will be fine. She will be making friends, playing games learning songs and bringing home some great refrigerator art!

The separation anxiety is a phase. Sometimes they move in and out of this phase but it is always temporary.

Trust me I've been there and helped lots of moms deal with this! Stick with it I'm sure she will adjust just fine. Some kids take longer than others to adjust so I don't think there is a set timeframe.

It's also important to have good communication with the teachers at the daycare. I had to change daycares a few times so don't be afraid to switch if they are not giving you the care your daughter needs! If it's a good facility, good teachers who are caring and communicate with you well, then just hang in there!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

My response is simply to make YOU feel better that transitions can be tough for the child.

I've always been a full-time working mom (even during 5 months of chemo after the birth of my 2nd child), and made the decision to switch from having the mother of a friend watch our children in our home to going to full-time day care 2 years ago. It was hard, but it was the BEST decision we made.

Even when I was laid off last year, we still kept the kids part time (in part to keep them acquainted with the process knowing I was going back to work and in part to give me the time to find a new job/interview, etc). Part time is harder than full-time, for sure.

Our son transitioned into a new class 6 months ago (at 3.5 years) and had a really tough time. He knew almost all the kids, but he had gotten really comfortable in his previous class. His little sister had no problem.

So, I think it really depends on the child. But, if you put your confidence that the providers know how to do it and how to help your child transition as well as possible, it will help reduce your anxiety. She'll pick-up on your hesitation, anxiety, fear and feed off of it.

I have no regrets having put my children into a day care facility because I believe the education, socialization, etc. they've received is far greater than it would have been if we'd continued to have the other person watch them (though she loved him unconditionally).

Good luck - don't be afraid to tell the director/teachers your concerns and ask their advice. Chances are, they've encountered this many times before.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that if you talk with her about these things she will pick up on your anxiety and not adjust well. Be matter of fact in a manner that gives her the message that you expect that she will adjust.

How did she do the 3 days that she went last week? I'd ask the day care provider to let you know when she thinks your daughter is ready for a whole day.

If you have the time to do it, you could increase the time by an hour or so each day and then start adding days.

I wonder if it's possible that your daughter responded this way because of her relationship with her grandmother or because acting this way gained her extra attention. How did your mother treat the situation? Your daughter may be all together different with a different person and in a different setting. If I were you I would assume that everything will be fine. She's more likely to adjust if you make that assumption.

Even if she doesn't eat, drink, talk, or go potty at first, I would keep her going every day. I would try not reacting at all to her. Tell her you know that when she gets hungry she'll eat, etc.

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D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi, I am having the same issue with my son. I was working f/t during the school year and he had already adjusted. Then we went on a 3 week vacation , and when we came back he started back with only 1 day a week for 3 hours. They are at that age where they are very clingy. So it isn't helping. He also started a Span camp 2 days a week. At first I thought he was going to adjust , but it was very inconsistent. Since, he was consistently crying. They told me at the daycare to start taking him 3 days a week at least for a full day. The camp told me just to drop him off and that he stops crying after 5 mins or so. I have been grappling with the problem myself, since I don't go to work fulltime in the summer. But I figure it may be better, that he adjust completely before I do have to go back full time. Let me know if you find any solution that works.

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