First Time Baby Going to a Daycare

M.--
You have great reponses concerning first time day care. One of the best ideas is doing the short stays, increasing the time each day.
I agree that once you leave, the child is fine, and that it is harder on you.
Being a Kindergarten teacher, my 2 went to day care until they were school age. Now I am helping raise my grandaughter who goes to day care, too. She learns so much, especially social skills.
I can tell which children have been to day care, which ones stay at home with a mom that works with them, or not.
A baby adjusts much easier, becomes more alert with all the new sounds around them, and enjoys all the new faces.
It was harder on me when my children started school, because I could not take them to school the first day, because I was at school greeting everyone else's children, drying tears (usually the moms and some dads, too) and comforting everyone and letting them know that we will have a good first day.
I was blessed with in-laws (my children are very close to their grandparents) that lived 10 minutes away, who took them to school the first day. They loved being involved in all aspects of their lives.

what worked for me is taking my daughter to daycare 3 days before I had to return to work. The first day, I let her go for a half day. I wondered around my house looking for her, because I didn't know what to do with out her. The second day I let her stay longer than the half day, but less than a full day. I took a nap, watched a movie and did laundry. The third day, my husband took off work, and while the baby was at daycare we went on a day date. It turned out that by the next week when I had to start sending her fulltime, I was no longer a puddle of tears and neither was she.
You'll be surprised at how quickly the babies can adapt to their situation.
Congratulations on your new son, and I hope your return to work goes smoothly.

I'm sure it will be more difficult for you than him. It was heartwrenching to me when I had to go back to work. My son was only 7 weeks old. I would have done anything to stay home with him. But, finances wouldn't allow. As he grew I quickly saw how day care was important to him. He is very social. He would have been miserable staying home with me by himself every day.

My 8mo old is going to start daycare as well. I've popped in to visit with the daycare he will be attending, as well as other potential places. I found that it is easier for me to handle leaving him when you see the other children through out their day. I've observed the morning rush, lunch and naptime. Much to my amazement, these little babies/toddlers/ children are so well behaved and on a schedule. No one is crying uncontrollably or unhappy. Which is what YOU will see when you leave yours for the first time. What I'm trying to get at is...they are just fine. They get over the fact that they aren't with you and start to enjoy their surroundings and the people they are with. I find that the children don't act the same when the parents are around. For example, a mother leaves her 18mo old crying and as soon as she leaves he stops crying and gets in to what ever activity they are doing. You also see how the personnel deal with a crying baby. Unless the daycare is equiped with cameras or windows you'll never be able to see how they interact with others. With my 3yr old, I loved to get there a little early and watch him play from afar. It is the best peace of mind when you see that they enjoy being in a place where they are well taken care of.

Hi M.,,,
i'm sure he will do just fine ,,have you taken him by there to see how he inter acts with the care givers ,that might help both you and him adjust better the 1st time go in a couple times spend an hour or so and get the feel of the place ,,,then when you leave him ,,you can always call on your breaks to see how he is doing ,,,he might cry ,but they are trained ,just as you are to handle such things but a phone call can really make you feel better
good luck L.

One thing we did with both of our kids when they started daycare is do some visits and short stays. First, we visited with our child in the room where they would be placed. We stayed (parent and child) for 30-45 minutes each of the visits. Our child participated in whatever the other children were doing, but with us right nearby for "security."

Also, we paid for an extra week of daycare, one week earlier than we needed to return to work. The first day we left our child there for only 1-2 hours, while we ran errands. The second day we left our child there for about three hours. The third day we left our child there for about 4-5 hours. I'm sure you get the idea.

Oh, and our daycare suggested bringing a favorite blanket or "lovey" for naptime. Toys from home were not allowed, partly because of the chance of being broken or lost and partly to avoid any "fights" over the toys. My son had a stuffed alligator he got when he was born. It went to daycare with him every day for naptime. My daughter never got attached to any one thing and just brought a blanket. The daycare workers encouraged us to bring photos to attach to the headboard and footboard of the crib, which I thought was a neat idea.

You have already received some great and helpful advice, so at this point I want to just wish you GOOD LUCK! Dont feel alone if you feel like you are going to lose it...I may or may not have cried for the first week (thats a lie, it was longer...just trying to show i'm not crazy) :) Vent those frustrations, fears, concerns and weepiness to your hubby or a good friend. My little guy did much better than I did...I am hoping you will be pleasantly surprised by how well your lil one does! GOOD LUCK!

This time period will be more dificult for you than him. Hang in there; noone likes to leave their baby for others to care for them. Just keep in mind that you have to do what is best for him and your family and that this is not permanent. To some that means going to work and providing financially for the family, to others it means staying home and providing care. At daycare, he will probably realize that you are not there, but the caregivers will distract him and there will be other children there that he is curious about. I used to go visit mine for lunch and feed him and take him for a mini walk outside to give him a break from the situation. I have found that it takes at least 3 weeks to get my son used to a new situatin and by the 4th week he does quite well. What ever you do, just keep it consistent. Drop him off and pick him up at the same times and get a good home routine as well so he will know what to expect next. Feel free to call the facility and check on him... that's what you are paying for!! You are a good mommy and are doing what is best for your family.

Ask your daycare if you can go and visit with your son for an hour or so in the days leading up to when you have to go to work. It will make both of you more comfortable. Bring pictures of you and your husband to show while your away. Bring any kink of lovie or blanky that might smell like home. It may be hard at first but he will adjust. Its good to get them in by 6 months before they hit that stranger anxiety phase.

I would send a shirt or blanket with him to day-care that you've had on you or with you...that smells like you. That way he will have the comfort of your smell when you're away.

Hello,
I'm a mom of two little girls (18 mos and 3yrs) When I put my older daughter in daycare for the first time it was very difficult but like you said I think it was much more difficult on me then on her. She had a wonderful time while she was there. If possible you may want to leave him for a shorter day the first couple days and then extend it. Also try not to act sad when you drop him off. Even if he cries just tell him you love him and you will be back later, have fun and then go. I think it is much harder on them if we drag out the goodbye and hold them and comfort them. Then they will continue to have a hard time when you drop them off. Instead act happy like they get to go to this wonderful fun place for the day.
After having my second child I was lucky because I did not have to go through that again. I found a great company to work from home with and now I am able to stay home with my girls and still have a career I can be proud of and help support our family's financial needs. If you would like the details on how you could make additional income to help with the extra costs of having a baby or if you are searching for a way to stay home, I would love to share with you what has helped our family so much. This company is very unique because we don't have to sell, stock or deliver any products. To get more information, please visit www.FollowingOurDreams.com. I wish you the best of luck for you and your son as you both adjust to daycare.
M.

Dear M.,
I am a mom of four almost grown children and I have also been a day care director (with an infant program) for over fifteen years. My heart is with you and my suggestions are: Bring and decorate his area with something that he will recognize from home. Make him a laminated picture book of you and your husband and his sisters and put it on a plastic ring that he can hold and see (and eat at times :) and that also can be wiped clean daily. Muster up your emotions as you drop him off because he will feel any axiety that you have and it will add to his. Be confident as you drop him off. Establish a routine that is 5 minutes or less. Write down any significant things about the last 24 hours on the clipboard for the teachers to read (how he slept, how he ate etc.) Your routine might be.....hand him to a teacher of get him involved with a favorite toy, tell him you love him and you will see him at 5:30 (or whenever) he doens't know time but the repetition and reassuarnce in your voice will be good for both of you, kiss him and walk out. He will cry at first (or maybe a long while), that is natural and means that I love you, Mom. Ask the teacher to log how long he cries and you should expect this to diminish as time goes on. Hope this helps!

He will be fine. Our son goes to a daycare across the street and he is already learning stuff. Like he held his bottle for himself the first day he got back. He rolls over both ways. He babbles more. I am not a fan of daycares but he is doing so well and its a smaller daycare which makes me comfortable. Also the first few days I would pop in to see how he was doing. Not letting him see me to disturb the entire situation but for me just to check on him. Also made a phone call just to check on him. Every time he was fine! Good luck and God bless.

Your baby is going to feed off of your reactions. If you freak out, he probably will too. You know you have to leave him at daycare, and, presumably you trust the daycare you have selected. You are teaching your baby how to be adaptable right now. Walk in, suck in your lip, tell him you love him and will see him soon and make a b-line for the car where you can cry your eyes out if you want. Your already teaching him how to react to his surroundings and if he gets from you that this is a cool fun place to be, he'll go with it. He might revert and go through separation anxiety later, but you handle it the same way and it will pass. You are going to be far more worried about being there than he is! Let him enjoy it! good luck!