Celebrate for Divorce?

Support first. Take his lead on the celebrating. Being GLAD it's over is different than celebrating, but it's a significant difference.

I celebrated by going home and knowing the home was mine. :) Honestly I would have thought it strange to celebrate it. Yes it is good to have it be over and lord mine was an ugly one, still it is not something to celebrate.

On the other hand if my parents had said why don't we go out and relax, you have earned it, that wouldn't have been weird.

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Honestly P....

I would tread very softly on this issue...

My separation/divorce began in dec 2003...was not final til dec 2005...it was VERY bad...and I fully expected to be doing 'cartwheels' on the way home from the final.

I had to pull over THREE TIMES on a 10 mile drive home from the courthouse to throw up!

My mom was 'minding' the kids...and we did go out for a dinner...but it was in NO way a celebration!

He may (or may not) feel in a celebration mood...I might wait...and take your 'ques' from him...

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

Ask him what he would like to do then proceed with caution but don't suggest or recommend any type of celebration. You may not really know how he is feeling inside. Divorce is a ugly affair and many emotions come with it. Those emotions are rarely sorted out when the papers are signed and the wounds are still so very fresh and tender. You don't want to wound him more by celebrating what he may feel inside was his failure at some level or another. Follow his lead and respect his wishes. You may celebrate yourself alone if that is how you feel but he may not share your feelings. Be understanding and accepting of what he may be going through.

Not sure if "celebrate" would be the right term - a divorce is a kind of death in a way. But I would offer to take him out for dinner or drinks or have him over for dinner if it helps him feel better. Leave it up to him.

Since a divorce is a deeply personal matter, you should ask your son what he wants. Personally I was glad my family left me alone for a few days so I could begin adjusting. It was just all so final and the feelings were very complex. I didn't want to celebrate but I also didn't want to mope. I had to figure out in my own head what was going on. In contrast I heard through the grapevine my former in-laws celebrated the divorce from my first marriage with their son with boxes of champagne and booze. I found that to be of incredibly poor taste. What's to celebrate? The failure of a marriage you vowed would be forever but for various reasons didn't work out? Clearly each person's take on the matter is unique so ask your son. Good luck to your family.

My family is big on Wakes

I am not so sure that celebrating a divorce is cool. But since this was a difficult time, how about inviting him over to your home for a quiet dinner, a chance for him to unload his feelings, and just hug him and tell him how proud you are of how he handled the situation.

I thought during my divorce I would do cartwheels once it was over, but I was shocked when I felt sad and so upheaved...I was so relieved to have my brother with me.

I would do a simple dinner out but wait and see how he feels for anything else.

I had a Happy Hour with my very closest friends. It was great to have the people who supported me most come together for a drink. :)

BTW, this was scheduled about 1 week after it was final. I definitely stayed home the day it was final. Regardless if it's a good or bad thing, it's stressful.

What a wonderful and caring mother you are. You are never finished raising your kids are you?
You son, as you know, has to mourn the loss of his marriage. It's a mourning process just like anything else.
If you feel like you have to do something, I would invite him over for dinner and fix his favorite meal. Just sitting at his parents table, eating his favorite foods, and being surrounded by love and support will mean more to him than anything else you could do.

Of course it's appropriate to take him out to dinner, or lunch, or snacks. It is a relief sometimes to be through with a divorce and move on in life and you love your son. Cheers and wish him good luck.

I just began divorce proceedings and considered a celebration when it's final, and quickly decided against one. I wanted my marriage to work and am crushed that it didn't.

As his mom and dad i definitely don't think it's appropriate for you to do anything of a celebratory nature. If he chooses it's more of something for his friends to do, or he can throw a little soiree himself.

Ask him about it. When one of my friends got divorced, the girls tried to plan a celebratory night out but my friend needed more time to mourn even though she was happy to get out of her marriage. Even though it was the right decision she still felt weird celebrating a "failed marriage" (her words). I think the whole process brings up a lot of emotions for people, whether or not they are happy to be ending the relationship. Just make sure he wouldn't rather be alone to process things for a few days.

How thoughtful of you. I would let him know you want to mark the end of this difficult period and the start of good things ahead. I think the word "celebrate" is maybe what some other posters object to. I think you mean more of "honor" or "mark" this monumental time of his life. Your intention is 100% wonderful. Let him tell you how he'd like to pay tribute to this important, sad, but also filled with new possibilities, time of life. What a caring parent you are.

Certainly take him out to dinner. It's a nice thing to do for anyone going through something. It doesn't have to be a celebratory thing.

I don't think that divorce is ever a reason to celebrate... I do realize that sometimea it is just unavoidable...but it is never the optimal solution.

Celebrate???? No. It was awful for me and I had a really easy going divorce by any standards. As DVMMOM daid, it is kind of like a death. Yesterday would have been my 20th anniversary and I went to my ex-husband's last night to hang out for a bit. It was a "could have, would have, should have"...still pretty sad after all these years and we are great friends.

By the time my divorce was final, a long time had passed -- I really dragged my feet until I was finished processing the emotional mess. It was three years after we separated, I was already engaged again to a wonderful man, my ex and I had really progressed rather far towards friendship and had successfully figured out how we were going to co-parent, and for me, it was really all about just crossing the t's and dotting the i's. I know it seems weird, but the day my divorce was finally final (MA has a 90 day waiting period after the court date for it to be final), I ordered my wedding dress. That was enough of a celebration for me, and it was more of a celebration of really being able to move on than a celebration of my divorce.

my parents and a couple close friends went out to celebrate mine. Im glad they drug me out, otherwise I would have sat home alone and my mind would have wondered way more than it already was... dinner and a few drinks was way better than what I had planned for myself.

google this, they have serious parties, as big as weddings sometimes to celebrate divorces, complete with specialty cake toppers.

check with your son. dinner might be a nice gesture, or he might just want a drink with buddies, or time to himself.

I'm with Tracy K on that this depends on how your son feels about the situation. Like she said, you don't want to communicate Ding Dong the Witch is dead. My ex was a terrible husband and father, and I've been divorced for 5 years. It still upsets me (though I don't show it) when my parents express how they are glad that I am divorced or that they are happy that he is gone. I guess, to me, if feels like they are saying, 'I told you so' or pointing out that I messed up marrying him. I don't think it's inappropriate, but be sensitive to his feelings and communicate you are being supportive, not saying thank God that B**** is gone!!! It also depends on your relationship with your son. My parents and I can be close on some things, but others not so much. I would have rather done anything than have dinner with them after my divorce was over. I would've been upset if they'd gotten me a divorce gift, so again it's really dependent on how close you are on these matters and how he's feeling. To many divorce is like a death or a failure (as it was to me) so I would've felt insult at celebrating or doing a gift. Everyone is different and you know your son better than we ladies do, so you do what you think HE will appreciate. Good luck... divorce is so hard and I hope I never have to do that again! You're an awesome mom for caring about him and what's he's going through!!! :-)

Personally, I think it's tacky. Celebration of a divorce is not what you call an appropriate mile stone.

When my SIL's good friend got a divorce a bunch of their mutual friends got a limo and went clubbing all night to celebrate. I don't see how going out to dinner to celebrate would be wrong. I would want to celebrate if I just divorced.