Did you always feel the way you do about birthdays, even before you were married, but when you were just dating? Or did you spoil him with sweet nothings and treats and then all of a sudden things dried up?
If you gave him presents and special gifts back when, but now think because he's 37 and a dad he needs to "grow up," he could very well be trying to send you a messge about birthdays by not going out of his way to get you something special for yours.
Even if you've always felt this way and acted accordingly over the years, does that justify being a sour puss about things? You might be pleasantly surprised by him when your birthday rolls around, if you give him the kind of birthday he is hoping for. Remember, he gave up his friends and single years to be with you and your child. Why wouldn't you want to give him a special day? If he weren't born, you wouldn't have the life, marriage, and family you have today. Isn't that and your husband's part in that (his life) worth celebrating?
Birthdays aren't necessarily childish stuff, or an excuse to get hammered with your friends. They are however the best way to honor those souls who are dear and special in our lives. Their birth and existence hopefully should mean something significant to you. If you, as his wife can not show him this simple token of love, than who, other than his mother will?
I personally think birthdays are important til the day they put you in the ground. Why do they have to be wild parties, or why should we feel bitter about getting them something they really want, or to spoil them for the day with a special cake or meal? If you love him, you should show him.
If you think he'd enjoy his friends being there, it's only one day. If you think he'd prefer his parents and siblings, call them! If he'd be content with just you and the baby, then keep it simple. If you think he would love having you all there, have a party. Don't worry about the details. You can always ask his family and friends to help with that if you're stumped. There are magazines with ideas, and if worse comes to worse, there's nothing wrong with getting it catered by a grocery store or restaurant and just playing some good music and let everyone mingle.
The key is, if he wants to celebrate his birthday, he's only saying to you he wants reassurance that you still care...and still value his commitment, and that you still love him.
I have found that if *you* as the wife and mother and the heart of the home remember special days and make them important...he will follow suit. Men aren't raised to think this way, but they can and do learn...from you. Create traditions and memories in your home by planning and celebrating special days. In time, he will come to look forward to them and will learn to contribute in a way he knows is pleasing to you.
The concept is simple. You show him love and how to love, and he will learn and do the same. This is important for your children as well. What you do at home is what they will carry with them in their hearts and into the future. If they only know that mom gives the kids everything, but not dad, you can bet they'll grow up to be the kind of husband/wife who doesn't value special days or celebrations. This includes anniversaries. There is nothing wrong with being the catalyst and the primary planner. There is nothing wrong with sitting him down and planning your day together. You'll find that it will be very enjoyable for the both of you this way, instead of waiting for something to happen. A marriage is the celebration of a couple, not dating where you still have to prove your intentions. Anniversaries are celebrations and confirmation that you are still committed to each other and are very much a unified couple. So it is perfectly appropriate for the two of you to collaborate in the planning of your special day.