Calling All Single Moms Who Have Done Foster Care of Adopted Another Child.

Updated on October 16, 2012
S.B. asks from Cape Coral, FL
4 answers

I have been thinking about doing this. I have one child now and thinking of doing foster care or foster to adopt in Florida. Please message me, I have some questions about Day to Day life to answer "Can I really do this?!" lol

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I adopted my foster daughter. I recommend that you apply and take the class to become a foster parent. The class will help you to understand what to expect and you can decide if fostering is for you.

I will tell you that fostering is difficult. The child will have been thru trauma and have serious adjustment problems. Some children are more difficult than others but they will all have some difficulties.

My foster daughter had just turned 7 when she came to live with me. Within a couple of months we were both in counseling. Without the counseling I would not have been able to keep her. The state did provide the counseling.

Her mother's parental rights were not terminated for 2-3 more years and so she was visiting her mother regularly. The visits were supervised but they still resulted in major melt downs after every visit.

A foster child frequently needs different parenting skills than a child born to you. That's the reason for the counseling. How much difficulty you have will depend on what skills you already have and how flexible, intuitive you are.

My daughter is now an adult and I'm very glad that I adopted her. Both of us went thru "hell" and back but have a very good relationship now. Fostering/parenting was very difficult but worth it to me.

I was single but I had a close male friend who helped out a lot. I don't think I could've done it without him. He and his wife took her overnight weekly so that I could have breaks. He backed me up with discipline.

I worked full time. It would've been easier if I'd been able to stay home.

If you'll list your questions I will try to answer you.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

We were unable to have our own children and decided to do foster/adoption. At the beginning I was against fostering and having a child taken from us once we bonded. A very good friend explained that it was ok to foster and bond, you make a difference in that child's life while he/she is with you. We fostered for 4 years, in the interm of the fostering we adopted two beautiful children in the foster system... It is a great experience, the saying is when you don't dry when a child leaves your home to go back to mom and dad it is time to stop. I am not. Single mom but my husband does work different shift than me so it was challenging at times. You cando it,

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The whole thing is not at all like some people think it will be. You will have a child from overnight to maybe months or years then they leave to either go back home or to a relatives or to just another foster home. They are temporary kids in your home. If that's still okay with you then I suggest you contact your department of social services and ask about taking the foster parent classes. They are a few weeks long in Oklahoma.

Once you have completed these classes you will have first hand knowledge of how your local system works and if it is something you want to pursue. I think that it would be an awesome opportunity for you to help a lot of kids in your community.

You not only help them by giving them a safe place to sleep at night but you are an integral part in helping their parent learn parenting skills by being their mentor and showing by example when they are with their children visiting.

You will learn your whole role as a foster parent. Being a bridge for this family, working with the parents, including them in activities, helping them through this hard time is so rewarding. Seeing that child go home to a better place is so fulfilling.

Knowing this going into the program, that these children are just your responsibility for a short time then they usually go home is a big part of your job.

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

My sibling is adopted. You can ask me anything!

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