Adoption and Foster Care

I am a foster and adoptive parent. I am licensed through the State of Ohio and our county (which is required in Ohio since each county holds its own DCFS and CSB). I have adopted one child, am in the process of my second, and have fostered six kids total.

I know you don't want any links, but the laws and requirements vary so much state to state. Can you look up websites before you start work or on your lunchbreak? I am assuming you can since you are on Mamapedia :)

Please look up this website, as it has a lot of the specifics you are looking for in regards to fostering and adopting thru your state:
http://www.adoptuskids.org/for-professionals/state-adopti...

Please know there is a HUGE difference between the three things you have mentioned above:
*International adoption
*Domestic private adoption
*Fostering/Adoption through your state/county

I can only tell my experiences in fostering and adopting through the state/county.

Q1: cost is minimal. You are paid a daily board rate to help cover day to day needs, but it isn't much. You are responsible for providing food, clothing, toys, diapers, etc just as you would be for your own child. Again, this will vary between my county in OH and your state, but we receive a voucher for about $100 when a child first comes into care to purchase clothing and shoes. (My brother fosters in a different county and they get $50 every three months for clothing, so it varies). You can get reimbursed for some items like portraits for the child, prom dresses, etc but it's not necessarily the full amount. You have to expect to shell out whatever you would for your own children on your foster kids. One perk is that any child under five is eligible for WIC, regardless of your income, so you will get help with that if you foster!

Q2: A lot could hold a person back. First of all, your entire family (husband, wife, SO, kids, and anyone else who lives with you) MUST be on board. It's a huge committment. You are opening your home up to kids that more than likely come with issues (even the babies), and since reunification is always the goal when kids come into foster care, you are likely to have to say goodbye to kids you get attached to. You can't advertise that these are your foster kids. You can't put their pictures on facebook. You can't give consent at doctor's offices, CSB has to do that. You have to care for children as if they were your own but have no legal rights to make decisions for them. It's a HUGE responsibility. You can't go anywhere overnight without written permission, and that is not always going to be given, so your life is not your own anymore. It's hard.

Q3: Both are very important. Fostering is a huge responsibility, as I said. You are caring for other people's children until the parents are well enough to get their kids back. Or a family member can take custody. Or the parents decide to finally do the bare minimum. Adoption is very important as well. Every child deserves a permanent home!

Q4 Again, process will vary slightly, but this is basically it: You and every adult in your home will have to pass a background check. You will have to prove you have enough money to support the children you will be taking in. You will have to have your home inspected to make sure it is safe. You will have to go through pre-certification classes, then a home study to make sure you understand what fostering is all about. Then once you are licensed, you will need to maintain classes (in Ohio it is 20 hours a year) and get your home inspected (in Oh it is every three months) for safety. You will have monthly visits with the child's caseworker, quarterly visits with your coordinator, probably monthly visits with your child's CASA worker or GAL. Your life becomes an open book!

Why do I do this? Why do I put up with it all? Because I love it. Because as hard as it is, I love seeing the hard work pay off for these families. Because I get to help make a positive impact on the life of a child. Because my two kids that I have/am adopted(ing) are worth every single bit of trouble I have ever had.

Fostering is super hard. Your life is lived on a roller coaster. But it is so completely worth it, if it is what you are meant to do!

The family that adopted 2 of my grand kids did it through the state. It was totally free to them and they were also still able to take in other foster kids, they day they adopted my 2 grand kids they also adopted another little girl. She is only 2 months younger than my grandson.

It was nice for them because they had my grand kids in their home for over a year so they knew for sure if there were hidden behavior issues or other things that needed to be known before they adopted. They knew the kids fit in very well because they had had them for so long.

I think this is the ideal way to go. They get to fully know this child and have the experience of them living with them for an extended amount of time. They do have the kids that come and go, those are always going to be in need. They can always ask the worked to transfer a child too if it is not a good mix.

You cannot go into foster care looking for a child to adopt. It is not the plan or reason for the program. A foster parent goes in to the program to help families in crisis to learn new skills and how to be a better family, the whole purpose of foster care is to give the parents a break so they can do things they need to do to get back in control of their lives. Like getting clean, getting sober, getting a home and vehicle so they can have a job that will provide them with the money needed to have a home. The foster family is a bridge family. They provide a way for the family to grow stronger and better and then get them back together.

In some cases, like ours, the children will never go back home. There was some debate about the kids getting adopted or taken in by us or my ex. These kids love their foster mom and dad, they were so happy and the foster family said they'd take them and adopt them, they would not allow them to go back into the system and be placed with some strangers.

So, the purpose of being a foster parent is to help the family get back together, and on the off chance this doesn't work out and no other family member steps forward then you have the opportunity to say yes, you'd like to be considered for adoption.

There are also regular people who take in a child with the purpose of seeing this relationship would work into an adoption. But these kids are much older.

The person to ask is the foster care coordinator. Ask them if you can go ahead and take the classes to get certified. If you change your mind after taking the classes that is something that often happens.

I adopted one of my 3 sons and am married to an adult adoptee.

Fees depend on many things. These are hard questions because there are no across-the-board answers.

There are lower-fees in foster adoption, but they still vary.

Private domestic adoption and international adoption...it depends. It depends on where you adopt from internationally and what's entailed in adopting from there - both in that country and by the US and your state. Domestic can have higher or lower fees that international depending on things you cannot control - if you are paying medical bills and there are complications, if the bio-Mom changes her mind (which is her right) and you start over...

As for which is easier - easier how? Less rigorous evaluation of potential a-parents? Less training required? Less emotionally charged? Less time to wait? Fewer age/marital/residency/fertility/bio-kid restrictions? Again...there are SO MANY factors that affect this.

What would hold me back? Knowing that the b-Mom was coerced in any way, knowing there were ethical problems in the adoption.

You need to do a LOT of research, starting with how the process works in your home state for both foster-to-adopt and private adoptions, then look at other country's requirements (age, marital status, height/weight [yes, really], residency requirements).

Here's a starting point: http://www.adoptex.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wchildform

I have not done either, but have had many friends and family members that have gone down these roads and have talked to them about their choices.
Q1. - Cost
Financially the cost for fostering is the cost of getting certified (which depends on the state you live in), after that the state actually pays you for basic support of the child. Emotionally, the cost can be high and will depend on the type of person you are. My aunt was is a natural mother and took in foster kids as their first stop, never for more than a year. They were emotionally battered and had to learn how to ... live. She loved them, taught them, and let them go to more permanent placing but it was hard (and even frightening at times). She had to quit after about five years, and she is one of the strongest people I know.
Adoption costs are high and depend on the type of adoption. You will pay for legal fees, possibly travel to meet the child/parents, heath care for mother and/or child etc. Emotionally, infant adoption is the easiest as you are working with a blank slate.
Q3.
I think there is a greater need for good foster homes in this country right now, many of these kids are falling through the cracks. Just go in knowing that not all foster children are available for adoption.
Q5. I have known people who did both, international had more children available but more red tape involved.

Just sent you a private message.