Bitting @ Daycare

I know how you feel. My daughter has been biting at daycare for 2 months now. It is embarrassing and stressful for me and my husband. All I can say is that it is a NORMAL phase for toddlers and once they have enough words to express their anger or frustration the biting should stop. DOn't feel bad you are not alone!

B.
I work at a child care facility and the main reasons for biting vary! I have taken many training classes to find that the facts are this.... stress, attention, space, personality, and the feeling of this is mine/ not wanting to share.
Check the situation that he is in when he bites!
Are you stressed when you are with him if so try to calm your nerves so he doesn't feel them.
Sit down and give him your immediate attention for a while and make sure that your care giver does the same!
I am sorry but I have to go
feel free to email me back of you haven't resolved this problem!

My twins that are a little older than your child are in daycare, and they have come home with bites, and they have bitten. I know how you feel, I was mortified when I found out my kids bit someone, but kids do it, and its just as likely to happen to your son as it is likely for him to bite. As long as it doesnt become a normal thing, I dont think you should get too upset. I will say, my daycare has a policy that they dont tell the parent of the child that received the bite which kid did it, and if your child bit someone, they dont tell you who it was. Thats a very, very good policy to have and I hope your daycare has it too.

When something changes with a child who attends daycare it's always a good idea to for a while "pop-in" at different times to pick up your child just so you can observe what is taking place at the daycare when they are not expecting you to be coming in. Just a precaution. Hope it helps.

My son is 23 months old and went through a biting phase. He's been in daycare since he was a little over a year old. But the only person he ever bit was me and it was always out of excitement. He would get really excited, hug my legs and take a little bite of my butt. I just want you to know that frustration and teething are not the only reasons toddlers bite. I was lucky it was only me he was biting. Whenever he took a nibble, I stopped whatever we were doing told him no biting and walked away from him. It didn't take him long to stop.

Do you know if any other kids at his daycare bites? My son occasionally picks up some bad habbits, like tantrums. When he started throwing tantrums out of nowhere, I talked to his teacher and she was able to point out which little girl he was getting it from. More importantly, I asked her how they were handling it. I agreed with the way they were doing things and kept up my efforts at home. So the tantrums were just a phase too.

In your situation, I would talk frequently with your son's teacher and make sure she's doing what you think will work best with your son. Other than that, just know that this too will pass.

Hi B.,

First let me state that I have a total of three children, my son is 15 (16 in Jan), my oldest daughter is 14 (15 in Feb), and my youngest daughter a two year old. My teenagers never were biters, they were the ones who always got bitten, however, my 2 year old was a bitter at about 14mths to when she was kicked out of daycare 18mths. I was devastated! I had tried everything, and only worked a couple miles away from the daycare, and tried to get them to work with me, but they never did. I gave them teething tablets, they suggested I bring in a binky(she never took one at all, she would spit them out), and asked them to call me right when she would bite so I could punish her my way instead of time out. When she was at home she only bit me one time (I bit her back – not hard, but hard enough she new it hurt) after that she only bit her sister (mostly) a couple more times, and when she figured out she would get bitten back, or popped in the mouth (very lightly) she stopped. Plus, after she was removed from the daycare and was not getting bitten, she was not biting. When she first started biting, she did bite at both home and daycare, but not very often, only when upset. We decided to change daycare facilities, for a couple reasons, and the daycare/private school is no longer, they closed, anyway, when we started the new daycare she was not biting at all, and had not bitten in a long time. She was bitten 5 times within the first week there, and then it started again, but only when provoked. If someone took a toy, or pushed her, or if they took food from her, she would bite, that is there form of communicating. I felt really bad the one time she had bitten a boy on his cheek bone the day before pictures, the next morning he went in the opposite direction of my daughter, however, he had taken a slice of orange off of her lunch plate, so she reached over grabbed him and bit him very hard, the description from the teacher was horrible. This went one for a few more weeks, and she was not the only biter in the class, they had several, and some that bit more than her, and not only when they were provoked, some just bit to bite. Once they kicked her out, and she was not getting bit, she stopped biting. She has only bitten maybe 4 more times. I noticed that her biting was also regulated by when she was teething, she would cut 4 teeth at the same time, and at this point it was all 4 of her 2 yr old molars. They tend to be a little more crabby, irritable when they are teething, and don’t like to be bothered, because they don’t feel real good, and there little mouths hurt, and they just don’t understand, but don’t want to be messed with. We all have those days, even as adults. She has been with a private sitter since, who has a boy that is 3, a set of 7 mth old twins, who my daughter adores, as well as 3 children of her own that are still living at home (5,11&16) she has a total of 6 children herself 5 boys the two oldest boys are twins and 1 girl.

My advise is to try to work with the daycare facility, have teething tablets, or something for him to chew on. I don't agree with some of the other moms, about getting upset and saying the child should be pulled. You really, can never understand what you (B.) are going through unless you have been there, and I have been on both sides at this point and they both STINK! No one wants there child to bite or to get bitten, however, it is a common problem with toddlers. It is a phase they all have to go through, and also keep in mind they are little people, and have bad days/moods sometimes. I really feel for you, and hope something I said may help, or at least comfort you. Keep working with your son at home, and at the daycare, it will get better!

By the way, Sorry this is SO long!

S.

The daycare HAS to be consistent with what you are doing at home.

I'm going to be honest here, if my daughter was in the same daycare and I knew that another child was biting repeatedly, I would be angry that the child wasn't removed from the daycare by the daycare provider, so I'd really try to nip this in the bud before other parents start to get upset and ask your son to be removed from the daycare. I know at this age that they don't do it to hurt others, but it is a really sensitive subject and when he is really sinking his teeth in, I'm sure the kids are coming home with some pretty bad marks and you can imagine as a parent yourself how shocking and upsetting that must be.

Although it is normal for some toddlers to go through a biting "stage", I would talk with your pediatrician about possible causes. It will be easier to deal with stopping it if you can uncover the reason he is biting. Some children bite down to releave pressure in the ears-- so you can get your pediatrician to rule that out. Some bite out of frustration that they can't communicate. Is he a late talker? Have you and the day care provider worked out some sign language with him or other ways he can comunicate?? There may be other reasons-- do some research and speak with your pediatrician

My son just recently started biting at daycare as well but he doesnt bite at home. They say its a territorial thing but one time he had no reason. Also something might have changed that day. They get fustrated because they cant talk and express their anger or feelings in different ways. I my son is only 14 months but he was teething at the time too so figured it was that or any of the things I mentioned above. Taking him out might make him bite more just because its a major change for them. They used to an enviorment so changing it might make him lash out more. Dont worry its normal and they tell you when your kid gets bitten but they dont tell you who did which is a good thing. I hope this helps. Good Luck.