My Son Was Bitten in Day Care!!

Holy Overreaction Batman!!
Biting at 2 is extremely age appropriate behavior. It is also cyclical - a kid is bitten, they bite, they stop, they get bitten, they bite, they stop, etc etc. There is no such thing as a bite free daycare, unless they muzzle all the little ones all day long. I'm not a provider, I'm a mom. My kids have been bitten and they have bitten others. It's happened at daycare, at playdates, and at home when they bit each other. You probably need to be a sahm so you can limit your son's interaction with others, because the only way you can ensure he will never be bitten is to never take him around kids his age. If daycares kicked out every kid that bit they wouldn't have enough kids to fill the rooms; of course I guess that would solve your problem since you would be forced to stay home or hire a nanny.

Lol, you gave me a huge laugh, thanks, I needed that this morning!

Biting happens. I know how painful it is as a parent. I've been the parent of the child bit and the provider having to address both parents. I don't want to minimize what you are going through or what your son is going through. It's true that they remember this. My 10 year old still talks about a little girl that bit her several times when she was 4 years old.

BUT...and there always is one isn't there?

You can NOT ensure a biting free daycare. NOTHING we do can stop it completely. Once we know a certain child is given to bite we can work harder with that child. But they can do it so fast that it still will happen. If we let them go they will bite others in the new daycare.

I have a child in care now that has bit a few times in the last year. We've been VERY fortunate that the behavior hasn't spread. The times he did it were to children that were old enough they didn't respond in kind. But usually it's one toddler to another and the toddler getting bit is now a biter. Wait to see how you feel when your the parent and your child is doing the biting. Feeling bad happens but that doesn't change it either!

I would like to add that as a provider I try hard not to get myself into that situation if possible. I had a child bite someone during an interview one day. I didn't accept the child because I had not had an incident in a few years and I was so hoping it wouldn't start a new round.

I would NOT want to take on your child right now either. Your child is highly likely to start biting and soon. It's not fair, but it's the way it is.

But the flip side is that I will not let a child go once they are already in my care because I don't want to knowingly send that child onto another daycare when there's a good chance they haven't had an incident for a long time.

When I said that we can't guarantee a bite free daycare, I didn't mean to say that biting ALWAYS happens. I've seen as many as 5 years go by without a biting incident. It's the luck of the draw. I've been in business 25 years. Mostly it's not even as big as a problem as hitting or pushing and parents usually don't freak out about those things. By far the parents in these situations are the main reason for so much stress. Providers are between a rock and a hard place. I think your anger is misplaced and over the top.

If you do research you will likely be even more upset. You can find all kinds of horror stories out there to focus in on. Sometimes kids get bit repeatedly in the SAME day. I know for a FACT that they can be bit and not say anything or say it laughing and or not cry so that if the provider doesn't do a strip search they think the child was playing.

I can also say that Many, MANY bites never get reported because they don't even bruise or show marks. I've seen many kids bite a finger and it's red for like 10 minutes. I don't even consider those biting incidents. It's AGE appropriate despite being unacceptable.

I had to laugh at you! As a mother of four kids and none of them went to daycare they all where biters at some time. If not me, than thier siblings. I even let my son bite my other son back so that he could experience being bitten. I have to say that stopped both from doing it. They both figured out that it hurts.

The day care is doing it's job by reporting it to you. What you want is for them to throw the child out of daycare. My question to you is what do you want the day care to do when your son starts biting? Because, I have never met a kid that did not got through this phase.

Seriously???? This post has got to be a joke.

I understand that the mama bear is coming out, but turn the tables. What if your son was the biter. I know you said you would get him "professional help" haha, but really...professional help for biting, where can you get that. It is a phase. And I would be ticked off too if my son was constantly getting bitten, but you have to understand that the day care providers are trying as hard as they can. Trust me, the last thing they want is to have to report to a parent that their kid got bit under their care.

I have 2 kids - almost 3 and 16 months. The 16 month old is a biter. I have tried everything with him, and nothing is working. We keep on him about it, but he just keeps biting his brother.

It isn't unfair that your child is getting uprooted, because YOU are making that decision. You can bring him to another daycare, but just be prepared for the same type of situation. It is very common.

As the parent of a once upon a time biter, I feel you are overreacting a bit to blame the daycare center itself. Oftentimes, their hands are tied as to the punishment they can hand out to the biting child. While I am sure your child is being comforted when he is bitten, I am also sure the center is providing any necessary first aid.
You best (and possibly ONLY) recourse would be to contact the parent of the biter and ask them to further address the issue. When I was informed of my son's behavior, I took a day off work and accompanied him to daycare. Fortunately, my daughter was the one he bit when I was there, so no other children were harmed, but as his parent, I was able to discipline him more than the daycare could. My response to his behavior was to 1) allow his sister to bite him back so he could know that it hurt, 2) I made him bite a raw onion, and 3) he was spanked, once. The combination of those 3 tools solved the problem in MY biter, but all children are different, so the parent would need to know what best works for their child.

I think you're blowing it way out of proportion. Probably because your son got hurt and when he can't defend himself, thats where you come in (rightfully so..) however not in this situation if the teachers are already doing what they're supposed to. Children are quick and usually biting occurs when two kids want the same toy or something similar. They're in arms reach of each other. Im sure the daycare teachers aren't hovering over every child micro-managing their play time with their friends. They're toddlers, not teenagers. They've only been on this earth a very short time and we're constantly cramming knowledge into them. They can't automatically understand EVERYTHING! The biter doesnt know how to express what he's feeling obviously with words in the heat of the moment. He has to LEARN how to behave and get along with other children. Not be sent to solitary confinement or expelled from daycare. How would he learn. Not saying you're child has to be the guinea pig, but some children bite and some dont. My son is 3 this month and he used to be the biter and he's also gotten bitten. When he would bite other kids at daycare I felt so bad for the other kid and was so worried about the other parents getting angry with me but I was doing everything I could to stop my son, catch him doing it and redirect him to a more appropriate behavior for the way he's feeling when he bites. He was also bitten by another child at daycare fairly badly on the side of his face (over a toy Im sure) but I wasnt angry about it. I couldnt be mad at the toddler who bit him. Its a toddler for cryin out loud. Thats what they do until they learn better communication. When little kids bite, they're not thinking it through. They're trying to get results (i.e. get the toy they want, keep their toy when another kid tries to take it). It's life. LIG it man. let it go.

I think you need to calm down about this. This is very common at this age. My child has been bitten several times...she's bitten others too. The important thing is that the provider reported the incidents to me, both ways. Unless you put your child in a one-to-one ratio school (which doesn't exist), there is no way to avoid this. Some day it will be your child biting (I know you're shaking your head "NO") and the important thing is that you address this with your child so he understands that this is not acceptable and doesn't do it again. I understand you being upset, but this is all part of childhood, (not the pretty part) and it will happen.

I sympathize with you. Its tough seeing our kids get hurt. My son came home when he was 1 with a huge bite mark on his arm. I called the day care & found out that my niece was the one who did it. She had bitten several other kids as well. It stinks but I do not think you can find a "bite-free" environment for your child unless you have just an adult watch them. They will then miss out on playing with their friends. My kids are at home with me now & when my daughter was about 1 she started biting my son. It quit now but I do think it is a phase some kids go thru.

WOW!! You are going to HATE my answer...my kids went to daycare and whenever they were bit I would ask them what they did to the kid that would make them want to bite them?!! Good old Catholic guilt!! Seriously though, they do bite because they can't express their feelings so maybe your son took a toy or something of theirs and that was their way of saying, "I don't think so!" You are being way over the top leaving over this, biting at that age is a simple fact...now if it was happening in kindergarten, you'd have some support...

First, Not only is it wrong to get bit, but can spread disease. Kids bite for various reasons and not just over toys. Communication skills are not there, and need to be taught not just ignored. Stress, frustration and teething can be reasons. Sadly, the majority of parents do not care about their kids. Ignore them, You love your child and if they find that funny they are the ones who have a problem and a twisted sense of humor at what is funny. Not enough parents care, it is a shame. Nor do enough child care providers, but we know they won't since it is not their kid, but parents....
I have a child who gets bit, ever since she turned one. We were withdrawn from a Christian School for just talking about it and wanting a solution. The biters parent (Other parents told me on their own, the same thing I was already noticing) did not care and was not working on it at home. My Daughter is almost 2 and DOES NOT bite other kids. I care and gave her things for teething and teach her how to communicate. It is traumatizing to her and every night after a bit incident she wakes up screaming. I do not get sleep. It is sad. I feel like I can not protect her, because unlike the batman lady I do not allow that kind of behavior and am willing to make an effort at not. When any kid interacts mine or not. All it takes is eyes and proper intervention. Parents like these comments just excuse it and act like it is a stage. They need to play a bigger role in it and biting back is not it. Another reason a kid bites is for attention, WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU???
There are child care centers whom do not allow this where I live. You can also put in a claim/report the incident to whomever licenses the center, and BBB. I wish more parents did so we could use them to make the best choice on care for our children. You would not believe the information I have accumulated on child care centers. It is shocking whom we allow and pay to watch our children. It would not be this way if more parents cared. They should have a policy for biters, like not allowing them back for 24hours after each bite. Before batman and anyone else wants to laugh and be ignorant....Kids with temps and diarrhea can not return after 24 hours. My reasoning is so the, "Oh who cares," parent will wake up and be active in their kids lives!!!! They need to be sent with information on how to work with the kid at home.
It is harder being a good loving person, don't let them get to you. Our children are little people and deserve respect too. Biting is not appropriate and the parents don't want to take responsibility. Yes, they do it, BUT WHY!?!?! There is a reason and it can be stopped. I am Proud of You!! Sorry for the ignorance in the other responses. :-)