Bedtime Nightmare for Mommy!

How about feeding the little one in a place where your daughter can also cuddle with you? There is absolutely nothing wrong with her not falling asleep on her own in her bed. Especially with all the upheaval in her life, your daughter needs a few extra bits of security, and if letting her cuddle with you as you feed the baby, and even fall asleep there (to be moved to her bed afterwards) could give her enough to be able to settle down better.

My husband worked nights when I was preggers with my 2nd, and the first was about 2 1/2. I finally gave up on the bedtime fight and let her sleep with me until the baby was born, then I started putting her back into her bed after she was asleep. It wasn't long after that she was able to go to sleep in her own bed, and now (she's 11) I have a harder time getting her up than putting her to bed! lol .... The point is you don't "spoil" them from sleeping on their own by giving them the extra security they sometimes need :D

Sounds like a worried little girl to me, maybe. She has to adjust to having a new baby appear in the family, and then she has to adjust to her daddy disappearing for long periods of time. Not fun for her. Not fun for you, either. So I'm assuming she's waking up crying with bad dreams.

Is there something you can do to make her feel more comfortable about her daddy? Could he call every evening to talk to you and her, or send an e-mail? (Maybe he does already.) It might help the sleep situation if she could know daily that her daddy was safe and loved her. Give her a picture of her daddy to keep by her bed, too. Two weeks is a long, long time for a toddler - just this side of forever!

As for waking up the baby with nightmares, I thought about it and if it were me I might try something a bit off the wall. Maybe it would work and maybe it wouldn't. Instead of wanting her to go back to sleep right away, I might say, "I'm so sorry you're having bad dreams. Why don't you help me with the baby for a little while so those nasty dreams can get out of your head?" Then I'd let her get up and do a big-sister thing - QUIETLY, of course - getting the fresh diaper for you, etc. You could talk to her or perhaps tell her a story while you're feeding the little one. Keep her by your side. Then, of course, both big sisters and mommies must go back to sleep when the feeding is done.

My concern would be that she might think getting up in the middle of the night was a great routine and ought to go on forever! But it could be that it will give her a better sense of security and, after a couple of nights, she might start sleeping through.

Your situation sounds similar to what mine was when my kids were that age (they are now 1 and 3). It sounds like your 2.5 year old daughter is starting to realize if she fights bedtime or gets out of bed enough, she gets more attention from you. She also may realize that if/when she wakes up, the baby is already up so why can't she be?

I'm assuming that they have separate bedrooms because you said you are often feeding the baby at that time. What I would do is allow her to bring her pillow and blanket into the baby's room (keep the lights off) and let her lay there while you are feeding the baby. Explain to her that if she cries/fusses, you will put her back into her room and shut the door (and try to tune out her crying!).

If that does not work, I suggest trying to feed the baby in your bed and allow your daughter to doze off in there then move her after the baby is done eating. Also, I'd try to maybe move back her bedtime a bit and feed the baby before you put her to bed.

My son used to go to bed later than my daughter, so I'd put him in the swing or down on the couch (before he rolled over) and he'd sleep happily or just chill while I put her to bed. That gave us alone time to cuddle, read, sing songs, etc. The entire thing maybe took 1/2 hour. There were a few times when I was doing that that my son would start to fuss or cry so I'd tell her I was going to check on him then be back and I'd come right back.

I suggest making the time for her and her only during her bedtime even if that means feeding your baby earlier/later.

Good luck - it does get better!

put the toddler to bed earlier with an audio book or music to listen to. or put her to bed later with something to keep her occupied just until you get the baby to sleep. good luck!

I dont know what the bedtimes are for your kids, but i have finally gotten in a good routine i think with mine. They are 3 years (boy) and 5 months (girl). They baby sleeps in a pack and play in our room yet. I give the baby her bottle by 7 and lay her down. She has learned to go to sleep on her own. My son does not go to bed till around 7:45, so that gives me that time with my son to play for a few minutes, brush teeth, read books, say prayers, and lay by him in his bed for a few minutes. They will eventually share a room once the baby is sleeping through the night but for now this works great for us and he does good at bedtime because he gets that time with me. Maybe you could try feeding the baby and putting her down and then do a bedtime routine with your daughter. the baby shouldnt be hungry within an hour most likey. Good luck it is definatly a challenge, but so much fun to!