Sleep Routine for 1 Year Old - Columbus,OH

Updated on February 25, 2010
D.K. asks from Columbus, OH
10 answers

Hi. I have been nursing my son to sleep since he was born and am starting to get nervous about the inevitable weening. How will I get him to sleep, I wonder. Last night we nursed in bed after his bath and he rolled away from me. I was exhausted from the day so I layed down while he sat there and played with his shadow. Shortly after lying down though, he snuggled right up next to me and fell asleep watching the candle flicker. I too fell asleep but when I realized what happened after waking up I thought, "Awesome! Maybe we can start a routine of lying down together at bedtime." Tonight, however, it was difficult to get him to snuggle up and fall asleep. After an hour and a half and one nose bleed later (he started playing with my face while I pretended to be asleep and he shoved his finger SO FAR up my nose that it started bleeding) I gave up and nursed him to sleep.

Are there any suggestions or tips to getting him to fall asleep BESIDE me and not attached to my boob? Any mother's who do this with their child(ren), how did you start this routine? Or, do you think he still may be too young to do this?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thank you.

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J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I also never co-slept, but did breastfeed exclusively until I started weaning at 12 months. I used to rock him and breastfeed at bedtime (bedtime meal was the last one to go). I actually dried up after weaning from 6 meals down to one, so the baby sucked on nothing at bedtime, and eventually gave up. So since then, he's drank his whole milk from a sippy cup every night, while I hold him in the rocking chair. I have always laid him down drowsy, never fast asleep, and he's put himself to sleep and slept all through the night. That worked for me, maybe not for you? Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would not try and start the routine of falling asleep beside you. This is not safe as you probably have read and been told about co-sleeping. The best place for him to sleep in his own crib. He is certainly old enough to where he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own and not depend on you. My son slept in a bassinet in my room until he was 6 weeks old and I moved him to his room. You have made nursing to sleep a routine for so long that it might be VERY hard to break, but you need to start now. He may cry and fuss, but you can always rub his back or rock him and then lay him down. Good luck, but start this now before it gets much harder! Your bed is your space, you will regret this decision down the road if you keep him with you.

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S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I've heard of mom's putting a "lovey" or a special animal friend in between the child and the breast. Each child is different. Maybe suggestng that the lovey also wants to cuddle with mommy and child after you nurse him... just something I read about during the time I was nursing. I never co-slept, and wasn't able to continue nursing past 7 months due to health problems and medications that interfered with my milk... but I hope you find a plan that is gentle and works for you both!

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S.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

No, start now!!! Harder to break habits as they get older. I would not start the idea of him "falling asleep next to you" because sooner rather than later, you are going to be ready for him to go to sleep on his own and he will still need you lying with him.

What I did for my son (who was breastfed until 14 months) was we sat on the couch to eat and then I would put him down in his crib when he was almost asleep, but not completely. I resisted the urge to pat his back or hold a paci in his mouth or anything that would make him reliant on me to go back to sleep if he awoke. I gave him a sippy cup with water (because you are not supposed to let them fall asleep with milk- bad for teeth) and he had several safe toys and books in his bed and I would just let him fuss a bit before going in to check on him...also used dad a bit for this time because he was so used to just laying down to start nursing, so dad would go in instead (luckily, he weaned himself too when I got pregnant again, so that decreased his fight to nurse when he woke up). I also let him fuss for a bit while going to bed too! (This was also when he started with a lovey...he had a blanket and Pooh Bear and soft dog that he slept with). My son also "graduated" to a big boy bed (toddler bed) at the same time too! He's never been a great sleeper (still up and down 1-3 times at night), but at least when he was weaned, I could just go in and remind him of his sippy and rub his back for a minute...then tell him "you're a big boy and big boys can go to sleep all by themselves...mommy is going back to her big girl bed...I love you...night night!"

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S.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

That was almost exactly how bedtime weaning happened for my middle child except that she was just past her 2nd birthday. I used to always nurse her to sleep at night (in her bed) and then lie her down once she fell asleep. Then, it just gradually happened that some nights, she was happy to snuggle with me to fall asleep instead of nursing. Eventually, she reached a point where either my husband could lie with her to fall asleep, too, so it didn't always have to be me. Everybody makes a big deal out of it, but it worked fine for us. (Yes, there were nights that it took her forever to fall asleep and I was sick of lying there so long, but overall, it was worth it.) Shortly after her 3rd b-day, she started being able to fall asleep on her own. She's now 5 years old and still likes someone to snuggle her to sleep a couple times a week, but she doesn't *need* us to do it.

I think you should go ahead with the lying down routine, but be willing to nurse if he seems to need it. Odds are that the transition will happen slowly -- first, he'll nurse to sleep 6 out of 7 nights of the week, and then he'll start skipping more days between nursing. Make sure that the routine is the same every night, too. If you don't light a candle every night, don't make that part of your routine (and of course, blow it out when you leave the room). You may want to try playing soft music (if that relaxes him) or just some white noise.

Personally, I never minded the nursing to sleep at bedtime because it was much quicker and easier than any other method. I felt like I could do the bedtime nursing indefinitely. If I wasn't home, someone else could find a different way to get my kids to sleep, and it was just fine.

My youngest is 2 1/2 years old, and I still nurse him to sleep for naps and at bedtime before putting him in his bed. It works for us, and I have no problem with it at all. When it stops working, we'll figure out something else.

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M.L.

answers from Dayton on

Is the father involved? If so, I suggest having him take over after the final nurse. The smell of your lovely milk will be difficult to distract your son from. My husband is doing this now with my 14 month old. He was also waking up with her during the night as she was nursing every 2 hrs! She has started to sleep through the night now! :) The first few nights were difficult for them, my daughter let it be know that she liked it better the other way, but now it's an easy routine. It's only a problem when he is out of town and she's upset that hes not there.

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T.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Only you know your child best but there is no reason that you have wean your child any time soon ( AAP and the WHO now suggest 2 years of age as the minimum weaning age but nursing beyond that is still beneficial as long as month and child are happy with the nursing relationship) so I wouldn't push the issue while he is still so young and needing to nurse. You can start laying down with him to nurse to sleep now as that will help with a transition later on when he is older and doesn't need the nursing session right before bed. Getting his belly good and full right before bed will help him sleep and you might find that cutting that out now will only lead to more night waking from hunger. I would give it a little while yet before night weaning. Once you do decide to initiate night weaning I would suggest using a time limit. Let him nurse a specified amount of time and then tell him it's time to snuggle until he's asleep. Do that amount of time for a week or two and then cut the time down, etc. etc. This is what I did for my little girl but she was 2 1/2 so was old enough to understand what I was doing at bed time and quickly adapted to the new routine. Now she doesn't even need me and Daddy handle bed time now that I have a 3 month old.

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A.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son weened himself at 8 months, but we were co-sleeping a lot so it was a transition getting him into his own crib - we needed to because we had another when he was 14 months.

With any routine change - it's not going to happen overnight. It will take time and consistency.

I just started implementing a routine. Brush teeth, wash face, sometimes a bath, then I lower the lights in his room, I give him a bottle of milk, we read a few books then I turn the lights out, give him his pacifier and I cuddle and rock him. At first we were rocking him for 30+ minutes until he was sound asleep. Months later - now we only rock and cuddle for about 5 -10 minutes and he will relax and we can usually put him down.
If you let him get up during the routine - books to rocking, he will run around everywhere. But after I turn off the lights and cuddle him in and keep him still, he relaxing and starts drifting off pretty soon.

The important thing is to find the routine that works for you - and remember it's not going to work 100% of the time. and it will take a few weeks to implement the new routine.

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M.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

If you are in pain and sleep deprived you need to find a new routine! It is abso lutely delicious to snuggle, read and sleep with a baby but I would'nt do the co sleeping thing every night. You'll be a better mom if you're well rested and sharing your bed with an adult who is a significant other. Don't you want that for your child? A child will grow up to treat himself as you treat yourself. Think about it. I'm still upset about the flickering candle ..

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Umm...co-sleeping w/ a one year old is perfectly safe.
My daughter exclusively slept in our bed until age 2 when we transitioned her to a mattress on the floor. We will do the exact same thing w/ our son when he gets here in a few weeks-because it worked for us.

I would suggest getting him to settle down before you get him to give up the nursing session. He needs to know that it is sleep time not play time. I remember our daughter going through this but I think she was a little older.

You can teach him to drop this feeding w/o forcing him to wean. Does he wake you for nurse in the middle of the night? That was the one I needed to drop and did (again she was older).

Remember this is a phase. Your child WILL wean and WILL sleep in his own bed. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just trying to scare you. You just have to be consistent.

So I guess what I am trying to say (sorry I have bad preggo brain right now)...Get him into a good sleep routine such as-bedtime equals sleep, no play, nurse, and then dream time. Then remove the feeding. Simply say "no, not right now".

It can be done. PM me if you want to. We loved cosleeping w/ our child-I only kicked her out of our bed because she would constantly be rubbing her legs up against me. In fact last night for the first time in a long time we let her sleep in our bed and it was really nice and cozy.

GL! Remember-do what works for you! :) It's your child-not an appliance.

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