I did have an example, but the example is moot and subjective. I guess everyone's idea of certain behaviors are different.
Would the way a friend treats her family and others hold any weight when it comes to the friendship between the two of you?
The main point is would you let someone's behavior, whether it's lying, stealing, arrogance, bossiness, conceit or whatever else get in the way of your friendship if that person never treated you in that manner? Would it bother you to watch your friend treat others in a disrespectful way constantly?
Yes, it would bother me. And it has once, to the point I had to stop being friends with someone I thought was my best friend, because I could not stand the way she treats her family.
Of course. Why would you want to be friends with someone who basically is not a nice person? It doesn't sound like this person has qualities that you admire or that bring out the best in you, nor does it sound like she's much fun to be around. If her behavior is embarassing you, she's treating you in a disrespectful manner, too, just in a different way.
Yes... and not just because I'd wonder when I would find *myself* on her disrespect list.
You always learn more about a person from the way he/she treats others - especially people who aren't somehow "important" - than from the way you are treated yourself. And if you start feeling you must walk on eggshells to keep in that person's good graces, then it's getting really bad. Everybody goes off the rails once in a while, but you said, "Constantly," and that's a burden in a friendship.
I need to respect and even esteem my friends for the complete people they are. Otherwise they're just - acquaintances.
Yes. I would not want to be friends with that person because that is who they are.
I don't see how wanting the best person do your nails is "domineering or arrogant". Do you have any other examples of her behavior that would be more clear?
Yes. She denies lying and gossipping about me, but I know she does.
Let's pretend she doesn't.....I have no respect for her lying, starting rumors, and really hurting people who care about her. I really think she is scum now. I am done with her.
Yes. I know that eventually, I am going to be on the receiving end of that behavior.
While wanting the best isn't being arrogant her approach could have been. I had a friend like that too. She was smarter than everyone or so he thought and needed attention. Making a screen brought attention to her. She liked to control everyone too. I was her only friend. She didn't like it when I did things with other friends. I had to tell her several times that wouldn't let a man control so I'm really not going to let a so called friend control me. I finally got fed up after being very embarrassed by an incident, and told her about herself. Its been close to 10 years and we haven't talked since and I don't miss her. If your friend is that bad tell her. What do you have to lose? You lost contact with her before so if you lose it again it will be ok.
Yes, it would bother me immensely, and I would have to find a way to say something. Maybe next time she does that to a person like she did at the nail salon, you can say "You know, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
If you are close, have a heart to heart with her about how she treats people. Maybe she is just really hurting inside and is acting it out poorly because of it. But, it really sounds like she is a selfish person (her husband needs to get a 3RD job, so she can have more money? What?!?).
Yes. Absolutely. I would be really wary of anyone like that because you're 1 misunderstanding away from receiving the same behavior!
I expect the people I hang around with and associate with to conduct themselves in an upstanding, honest way. I expect that of myself and so I wouldn't be ok with anything less than that. If my friend treated others disrespectfully, it would bother me and I would confront them about it.
M
