K.I.
There is a very fine line between being genuinely worried and just being un-happy with his level of care. If you ask yourself honestly where you stand and then answer yourself honestly (this is the key) how much of this is a real genuine issue and how much of this could be drama?
---->Please keep reading, I am NOT blaming or bashing you in anyway!!!
You can of course document everything....but if you know in your heart that he is a good person who *loves* his kids (you picked him for a reason once upon a time, don't you have any of that love or trust left?) and that he isn't going to do anything to actually *harm* them then I say you leave this be. It sounds like this separation is something relatively new??... and with all new situations, it takes time to get things running smoothly on both ends.
What is your end goal? You mention the courts...do you not want him to have time and access with his children? If your end goal is too just make sure they are fed and well cared for and you honestly don't think that he has the ability to do that then by all means proceed with whatever it takes to fix it....but if you think he will eventually find his groove as a single dad, then maybe start by being helpful? Can you guys communicate without fighting? If so, ask him if he needs help. Can you send along some healthy snacks? Remind him that they have clean clothes and their tooth brushes in their bags? Ask him ***nicely*** to 'help' you keep them in their routines to brush their teeth before bed and after breakfast? You can of course, remind the kids to change their clothes, they are old enough at 6 & 4 to know they need to get up and get dressed.
~My very best advice and I mean this ***whole-heartedly*** is to look within and try to remind yourself of what made you fall in love with him in the first place, try to get back to the place in your mind where you were when you decided you wanted to have these children with him in the first place....get to that good place and then have a nice (NOT confrontational!!) conversation with him about what your fears and concerns are thus far.
I think everything will be OK D.. He probably just needs time and help with striking that perfect balance on how to be a single Dad, try to cut him some slack....*most* men are not as naturally good at all this 'nurturing' stuff as us Mommys are! Your sweet children deserve to have both a Mom and a Dad who love them and most importantly are not fighting with each other over everything!
((Big Hugs))