Ah... The 'man vs woman' speak... I see and deal with it everyday with a ton of men... I work in 'man land'.
Things to know-
1. If you want to get their undivided attention, you MUST say their name at least once. Until they look at you, you don't have their attention.
2. If you yell, they get defensive and stop listening.
3. If you need to vent. Tell them it's just venting. Otherwise they will think you want them to fix your problem. (I have to tell my husband... I need to vent. I don't need you to fix. Just listen.)
4. They don't mind if you tell them, 'Hey, I'm all hormonal right now and if I bite your head off, that would be why.'
5. If you're mad, tell them, 'I'm mad at you. Here's why....' If you don't say it simply but detailed, he'll never get it. He'll assume you're mad at him for something COMPLETELY different.
6. They don't have the same tender feelings. You might tell him, 'Dinner's ready.' He'll say, 'Ok, be in shortly.' You think shortly means he's walking in from the yard to clean up now... He doesn't come in for another 15min. You get mad. He doesn't know why. Because he doesn't know why, you get sad. Then he freaks and doesn't know what to do.......... And it all started because his 'shortly' is not the same as your 'shortly'.
7. You start talking about something that you and your girlfriends were talking about earlier... After the 1st sentence, he's tuned you out. But he will get mad if you tune him out about a topic that you're not the least bit interested in. You need to tell him when you're really not that interested in what he's talking about... But don't be upset when he does the same to you.
If you begin to learn the 'man speak', it really does make things easier over all. We run on emotion and overthinking. They run on randomness, wanting to fix everything, food, and sex. They really are much simpler than we are.
ETA- I'd like to point out that I kind of think your hubby is screwing with you, thinking it's funny. (with the word choices/being different than yours)