Anyone Ele's Bedtime Routine in Shambles? Lol

I usually continue with the routine as though she isn't throwing a fit. For my DD, reading before bed is something she truly loves... So it is the very last thing we do before lights out. On nights when she is less than cooperative, I will sit down and start reading without her. She almost always straightens up right away, because she KNOWS I will not go back to a page I already read.... So she will miss her story if she keeps crying.

She also has a set time at night that is the absolute latest she can have a snack. After that, she knows she has to wait until breakfast to eat. She has a small cup of water that stays in her room, so if she cries thirsty I just tell her to get a drink. Whoever starts bedtime (usually me) is the one who finishes it. I never deviate or make allowances unless she is sick, when I might allow her a small snack before bed.

When she gets hysterical (my DD is the same, that when it happens she will make herself sick over it) I hold her, and calmly try to talk to her. I do NOT give in to any of her demands, but I acknowledge whatever it is that is making her so unhappy ("I know you want a snack, but it's time for sleep now. You can have oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast when you wake up though!" Things like that... Just staying calm, acknowledge her feelings, and give her something to look forward to without giving in.) for most regular tantrums, I send my DD to chill in her room until she can calm down... But hysterics (which luckily are very rare...) require a different method for my DD or she will make herself sick... Which doesn't accomplish anyone, and drags everything out while making life miserable for everyone in the house. Lol.

Hang in there S..

I know your baby is very mercurial now, changing her mind at every minute. And although we like to give our kids what they want, here's the thing:

It is better that they learn reality now, which is to say that YOU are in charge of how things need to be. Because you are her mother and you know better than she does.

Whoever starts with bedtime routine needs to *stick* with bedtime routine. So, before bedtime starts, make a plan as to which parent your daughter 'gets' for the evening. My husband and I would pick the most stalwart parent to do the bedtime routine when Kiddo was little. If you have nothing left, the madness two year olds can start is crazy. I want this. No, I want that. Don't even attempt to accommodate this, because doing so is leading to sheer madness. (yes, I'm being silly, but it is true...) SO, whoever starts bedtime follows it through.

That said, figure out with your husband what bedtime *should* look like, letting reality be your guide. You might decide to put Kiddo in her PJs before dinner with a large smock on to protect her clothes, that way she doesn't associate pajamas with 'bedtime immediately'. Just change the routine so that pajamas are for dinnertime. Changing the association can help. You might decide to start earlier in the evening-- maybe she's overtired by the time bedtime rolls around? When I was a nanny, if families had problems at bedtime, I always told them to make sure bath time wasn't part of bedtime, do it earlier in the day if possible, or in the morning with a parent. (Some kids shower with parents in the a.m.... remember, this is just a season....)

You can give empathetic language "Your toys need to go night-night. We all need to rest. I know you want to play and you may play tomorrow. Now it's time to rest." and still be consistent. Letting them know that YOU understand what they about can be a help. It's a skill, to be sympathetic without letting them have what they want.

Please, just be consistent, let her know who is doing bedtime (maybe pass off her 'lovie' or comfort item to one or the other of you, so she knows more concretely who is doing bedtime), and then understand that this, too, shall pass. Kids on the cusp of birthdays (within the last few months before changing an age) can often exhibit much 'bigger' emotional outbursts because they are just growing and adjusting to the world. Your daughter is beginning to understand that life goes on without her at night. That is quite a realization, but not one you have to indulge. Keep working on making a very stable, repetitive routine for her each night, no matter what parent. You might let her choose one short book to read and finish with the same book and songs each night. I did this both as a nanny and as a mom, and it created a real sense of predictability. (Pick books and songs that you can bear hearing repeatedly. :) )

By being super-predictable, by acting like the adults know what is best for her, and by not interrupting bedtime by accommodating her endless requests, you set yourself up in the long run for more consistent bedtime routines in the long run. Good luck!

move bedtime up, she might be over tired, and keep lights low, and tv off for the hour before bed, make it boring boring boring. take a deep breath and don't get frustrated plan on spending a week or two on 2-3 hours of bedtime routine until she trusts it again.

Steph, I wouldn't put up with this. I'd sit down with hubby and decide on a plan. I would agree 100% on exactly what the night time routine will entail. You and your husband take turns every other night. And it would NOT entail mommy instead of daddy or vice versa, milk, food or water. Period. Don't bother with PJ's if she screams about them. Pick her favorite bedtime activity - reading books? Listening to music? - and threaten to take it away from her if she doesn't stop screaming. Then DO IT. Don't draw out the bedtime.

Turn off the light, close the bedroom door, and sit in the middle of the bedroom without talking. If she gets out of bed, put her back in the bed and return to the middle of the room in your chair. Do it 100 times if you have to. NO TALKING. No light (unless there's a nightlight.) If you do NOTHING and doing all this gets her nothing, and is boring, boring, boring, she will finally go to sleep. Each of you do this every single night. She will eventually cave in and lay down and stop this arguing and screaming.

This is an alternative to CIO. She is WAY too old for you to be putting up with this! If you give in to ANY of these demands of hers, then you are rewarding her for it. If she makes herself throw up while you're in the room, clean her up without ANY comment. In fact, I would put a pad on the sheet until this is passed, so that you can just change the pad and put another shirt on her.

Don't give in to her tactics. Show her that no matter what, she will get NOTHING by this behavior. You will thank yourself when everyone is getting sleep, I promise.

just continue with the routine. she needs the consistency even if she is fighting it.

Let dad put her to bed for the next 2 weeks. This will help you get out of the routine and change it up for her. Dad will also show her she has to go with it too.

The throwing up is her trying to get you to feel bad and control you. Don't let it bother you. She needs to go to bed.

Also, just my thing but she's too old to be in a baby bed, she's also almost too old to be in a toddler bed. She may be uncomfortable on that mattress that is made for babies that don't weigh that much. Baby bed mattresses and toddler bed mattresses aren't made for bigger kids.

She may do better moving to a big girls bed. It also might be she's had a bit of a growth spurt and she isn't tired yet and needs her bedtime adjusted.

mine did that.. for a short time. but with consistency we got through it.. do not do cry it out.. horrible for the child and parent.

continue to comfort.. does she have a light.. a lamp with a low wattage bulb.. not a night light.. I bet she has reached the age where she is scared of the dark.. the boogie man.. the closet guy.. all of the things that she couldn't imagine when she was a baby..now she can.. also .. think back to when this started.. was there something that scared her??

my son is scared of the dark.. from something that happened 3 years ago..

We tried and have been successful with the 5 minute and 2 minute warnings. They can't tell time so don't worry about the number being literal. We use it as a way to let ours know what's about to happen. It seems to help. We are consistent and calm in our routine so the time factor gives them a reference point. Also we try to give ours some vote in what's going on - this shirt or that, you want to turn off the bath water or do you want me to, this soap or that soap, etc. We have noticed if we are consistent about the big picture, the choices makes life flow easier all around since it gives them some say in what's going on. Good luck.

Is she getting enough exercise and spending enough time outside? That might be the issue - she's not tired enough and her body can't wind down.

If my son got hysterical and unreasonable at bedtime at that age, I gave him a good pinch on the back of his leg and just said "enough". I only had to do that once or twice and he learned bedtime was non-negotiable. We never had a problem with bedtime, bed transitions and room transitions since. Bedtime has always been a peaceful, calm and precious time for us and our son, and even if he had difficulty going to sleep, he was reasonable enough for us to say "ok, one more book or one more song and then its time to sleep". If he was truly scared then of course we always accommodated! But it was never chaotic.

Since he was out of his crib, he could actually sleep anywhere, anytime - Grandma's, hotels, other people's houses, so our method worked for us.

Good luck.

My 19 month old daughter used to be the perfect sleeper until a few months ago. She would pretty much do everything you listed above. We realized recently that she is now afraid of the dark. The two night lights were no longer sufficient for her. We decided to try keeping a dim lamp turned on and keeping the door open with the hallway light on and voila! all of a sudden, she could sleep again. Maybe your daughter's also afraid of the dark. Just a thought.