He has been deployed 3 times already but says he is ready to go again. This is breaking my heart. He is married but no children. His wife says she is ok with his decisions. I have to support his decisions even though I don't like it.
It is his job. Many in the military enjoy deployments because that is when they feel like they are really doing what they signed up to do. I know it is hard, I said goodbye to my husband more times then I can count, but we have to support them because it is their life.
All I can say is thank you to you moms for raising such selfless and brave children. I can't even imagine how you feel.....
Thoughts and prayers this Independence Day. Freedom is not free.
I am having a hard time with my response to your post. But here it goes.
My son is out. If he had stayed in he would have done 20 years and retired. But if he were still in and wanted to go, I would have to support his wishes. He knew that he put his life on the line every time he is deployed. As a mother it is hard to know that your child might not return from a mission but you make peace with his choice.
As a military family with children who grow up and become members of the military it is a way of life that is hard to explain. You know what might happen. You know that you are making a difference even if it is ever so slight in the world. You move around from base to base without asking why you just do it. You make the best of where you are and live in the here and now.
Perhaps after this deployment he will be able to end his enlistment and get out.
May you have a safe holiday this weekend.
the other S.
Retired Military Wife and Mom
My son is younger, but is currently deployed. I tell myself that he is well trained, well prepared, and is doing exactly what he wants to do. I trust that the good Lord is with him every step of the way - regardless of what happens. Your son will be in my prayers as are all of our soldiers, sailors, and airmen.
Hugs.
First, thank your son and his wife for their service to our country. She supports him so as far as I'm concerned she's making sacrifices right beside him.
I grew up in a military environment. I am grateful every day for our service members, law enforcement officers etc. I am sure he is going to do what he's been trained well to do. Try to concentrate on his abilities.
My daughter is interested in a law enforcement career. I worked for a PD in Texas and know up close the danger, threats, etc. she will face. I would rather she choose differently but I whole heartedly support her decision. It's so hard to think about our kids in harms way and being the buffer.
Know that I am humbled by your son's decision to serve.
How does he seem when he comes home? Does he seem relaxed? Does he seem adjusted? Does his mental status seem good?
If he is okay, then try not to be unhappy with his choice. I'm sure that you are proud of his service as well as being upset. Hold on to your pride in him to get through this.
You've gotten some great responses already so I'll just add a tiny bit. I'm a vet & so is my husband. I'm sure it's difficult watching your son deploy and worrying about him and there's nothing wrong with letting him know that you worry & that you pray/think about him often but PLEASE, PLEASE be mindful that constantly telling him that your heart is breaking and that you worry all the time and that you're just sick with the thought of deployments can be a major stress on him. I'm not saying you're doing that, but I've meet plenty of military moms & spouses who do that to the service member & it's selfish & crappy in my opinion. It's not like deployments don't already have enough stress and chaos but now they have to worry about people back home too.
I suggest a military mom support group or a close friend who can help support you and offer guidance, comfort & counsel.
May grace & peace be yours in abundance.
I have nothing to offer other than a virtual hug. My son was in the military for six years and I feel for you. I was a walking anxiety attack, prone to tears almost all the time and felt like no one understood. It always seemed like others handled it better than I did or could. I even remember standing in line at the grocery store with a mother whose son was about to be deployed and while I was in tears she was finding it inconvenient that he was still around - denial maybe? wishing it was over? I will never know. I was horrified and went home and cried for that young man. And a lot for myself. Life was never the same after that.
My brother has been home from the Army for 6 years now. He did 5 years in - he would be in a better place had he stayed in. My dad was military, my grandparents were military, my husband was military. Never once did any of them get to say they were ready to deploy - it was when they were needed, they went. It's a hard life, but it's what the military is - and it's voluntary.
I feel for you. I too am a military mom with a son that will be deploying for the first time in the next couple of weeks. I am a wreck! I knew my son would choose this career path since he was a small child. It's all he's ever talked about. However, that being said, I don't think that he fully understands how we feel about it. We support him 100%, but any military family knows that we all feel like we are in the military also! Especially the mamas! The stress we feel when they are away (not even necessarily deployed) takes a toll on all of us!!! Are you involved in any support groups? I feel that they understand better than anyone else and are willing to listen! Most people try, (and it's very appreciated) but they just don't get it! Hang in there Mama!! And if you have any advice for other Mom's that don't have your experience, I'm sure they would love to hear it!!!
Yes, I have a son in the military, he's 36, and has been deployed too. He is also sent here and there for training. It's all part of being in the service and ever has been so. It's very scary when they are overseas, not so much at training. As moms or wives or grandmothers or daughters or even for the men in their lives as well, we dislike the sending of our men away. Military life is for the most part voluntary, at the end of each term they can leave the service. So it's kind of up to them to make that decision and hopefully include family, being considerate of their feelings. Joining one of the support groups for family of service men being deployed often helps, using Skype to face time and sending them packages are good ways to deal with them being gone. Many [[hugs]] to you.
