To Be or Not to Be in the Army

Updated on May 07, 2011
K.C. asks from Texarkana, AR
14 answers

Hello ladies hope everyone is having a great start to ur mothers day weekend its my first one and im super excited, Im getting to sleep as late as i want sunday lol love my husband....... So for several months my husband has been thinking about joining the army, and the time has come down to deciding for good. Hubby is 33 yrs old which he;s afraid he wont be able to keep up with the young ones as well and of course being away from his family will be the hardest. Times or tough here and because my husband is a musician( thats all he has done in ireland until marrying me and then worked at my store) and has honestly never really had much work exp besides that its hard for him to get a job. He currently works at the same company I do and we make good money but the lease on or 2nd store is up in a few months and the boss has decided not to renew it. So that leaves hubby back working part time for me at my store. We currently do not have insurance of any type and honestly cant afford it but make to much to get medicad. Hubby wants to go to school and be able to get training on something that pays decent. So bc of these reasons he was looking at enlisting.... Anybody out there in the army r have a spouse in the army that would be willing to share stories on army life??? We are aware of getting deployed , but if he does whats the time frame etc. Any input would be great ....
Thanks so much
K.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the input guys , we did look at other branches but the army is the only one that will take him at 33. We have talked about the arm band but he is afraid he wouldn't be able to find as good of a job outside the military if he went for welding or mechanics. I,ll keep ya updated tho! Thanks for everything

More Answers

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I have been a military spouse for 12 years. First off, deployments vary greatly, but if he joins the Army he would be looking at deployments of 10-15 months. If he joins the Air Force most deployments are under 6 months, my hubby has never been gone more than 4. The benefits are great, with most if not all of his schooling paid for while he is in. The medical is good as well. As for your store, are you prepared to leave it? I can almost guarantee he will not get stationed close to home, and even if he does it will only be for the first 3 or 4 years (I do not know anyone who has stayed close to home for their first assignment though). I would not trade the last 12 years for anything, the Air force has been very good to us and we have been able to see the world, and live in other cultures. It has been a wonderful life. But from what I have seen, I am very glad my hubby is Air force and not army, just something to think about. And make sure he knows exactly what his job will be going in. The Air force has a wonderful band.

3 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Army deployments are a minimum of 12 months. I can't get into this in great detail right now, but I would run the other way. We have 10 years in and it's been so terrible for our children and our family. DH's contract ran up three weeks ago (and he turned 30 this year, his knees and back are destroyed from his time in service) and now we are newly out after a decade. While it's financially harder I would never, ever look back. Feel free to message me if you'd like, but I know there are several military families here.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I LOVED My military life!! I wish I had it back!!! I've lived in Beligum, Germany, Hawaii, Taiwan (too young to remember) but LOVED LOVED LOVED IT!!!

If your husband is a musician - he should also look in to the USAF - they too have a great band...no joke.

If he joined the military - he can use his VA benefits to get schooling - or he can also do the BootStrap program - where they military pays for your college degree but the rule is - you MUST give them six more years.....or more depends upon the degree.

If you are both going in - without kids - you have a great chance of being able to see the world together and serving our great country!! Check into it - it's a wonderful life....I would prefer the Navy or Air Force over the Army or Marines - but this is MY opinion - I think (as being a Navy Dependent and a USAF wife) they have better bases than the Army.....again - MY OPINION!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Spokane on

We are former navy and my husband is currently at boot camp for the army. Deployments for the navy are typically 6 months; it's long, but do-able. What he's been told for army is that the rotation is two years home and one year gone. We've got ten years until retirement, at which point he receives a monthly check, and medical benefits for life, as well as access to military facilities (grocery store and department store are tax free, as well as other discounts and perks).
He is 40 years old and is actually doing better than some of the teenagers/early 20 somethings at boot camp physically. Emotionally has been hard, because he is one of the only ones who left behind kids, and communication is only a ten minute phone call once a week. But he is almost done, then four months of school, then we will be back together wherever we get stationed.
Our biggest reason for him getting back in after being out of the navy for 11 years was financial. He was just not able to find a job that would support our whole family, and we are dedicated to me being a stay at home mom. We have been on WIC and state medical for our kids for the past year, and we have had no medical insurance ourselves, this can be very stressful.
For you guys, joining after 9/11 would mean huge financial help for school for your husband, yourself, or your child in the future - is joining for four years then getting out and going to school a plan you could live with? There are definite benefits of being a military family, and definite drawbacks.
You really need to look at your marriage and your parenting style and see if being alone for a year with your husband being in a potentially dangerous situation is something you can cope with. Military life demands that you are dealing with constant change and readjustment, your husband, yourself and your child.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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2 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with a PP...have him check out the different branches! My Dh is Army (NG) and is currently deployed (for the 2nd time in 7 years...so not TOO bad), and there are many benefits and many challenges in any branch of service. BUT, I agree with PP that other branches such as AF and Navy have MUCH better posts/locations in general! I'd also check into the service bands if he is a musician...it might be the ultimate position for him! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

At 33, I don't think he is young enough to enlist. Contact a recruiter.

I don't know what his skills are. Find out what he would like to do and see if he can make a living at it. If he can't, have him research what he is willing to do. The medical field seems to always be looking for people. I can't stand needles and giving shots or needles, so a medical job was not possible for me. Registered nurses can make $100k with over time. He can be an RN in about 3 years of studying and work.

Good luck to you and yours.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

My husband just left Active Duty last July after spending five years in and he is now in the TX National Guard until December. Our time in was very bittersweet. He did spend 15 months (consecutively) in Iraq but we also had a lot of joyous, unique experiences as well. The military isn't for everyone but it is a life that you can be proud of. My husband was a Platoon Leader and one of his best soldiers enlisted when he was in his mid-30s. He was an auto mechanic and joined after 9/11 because he wanted to do his part. This is a very big decision for your family. The Army Band is a good option but I would imagine it's hard to get into. If he were to do the band, I wouldn't worry too much about him getting employment afterwards. He can always go to school and get a degree in something more hands on (mechanics, trades, etc.). As far as how long after he joins could/would he deploy, who knows. It could be a few months, it could be over a year. Just depends on where he gets assigned and what their deployment schedule looks like. Good luck on this decision. I would talk to a recruiter but remember that their job is to get him to sign on the dotted line so make sure that he takes his time and doesn't sign anything until you are both 100% sure.

1 mom found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Dover on

There is a lot that goes along with military life that you both need to consider. The benefits are wonderful, but they need to be in order to try to outweigh how much will be asked from both of you. My husband's is an Air Force Reservist and I work as a civilian at an Active Duty Air Force base. The United States government will essentially own your husband's for the length of his enlistment. They will tell you where to live, what shift to work, when he will deploy, to where and for how long. When push comes to shove he may be asked to give his life for his country. If you go into it accepting all of that and happy to live a life of service, it can be wonderful. Just make sure you understand what exactly you're getting into and whatever you do, don't trust a recruiter who tells him to go in as 'open general'!!

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Joining the US Army was my husband's best decision...he LOVED it...and is very proud to have served his country...and I am proud of him!

Your husband will find out right quick if he can make it through basic training and hang with the young guns:)

If your husband is up for it, you guys should go for it...doesn't hurt to try...

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My son is an Army captain. If you'd like more input than is posted here, please send me a private message, and I'll see if my DIL will share her views with you.

By the way, Cheryl is right... the USAF has some great bands. So do the Marines and, I imagine, the other branches. Your husband might want to investigate the possibilities of using his musical skills.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I don't want to discourage anyone from the military because I really appreciate all they sacrifice for us. I do think though, that it's not for everyone.

If he's looking for a career, he might want to consider becoming a nurse- also not for everyone. My DH is an RN, and it really is a wonderful career with so many different areas to choose from. He gets very good pay and excellent benefits- he is able to support a family of 6 on his salary.

He could look into what is involved in becoming a nursing assistant- it's not the same everywhere, according to DH. He can then work toward his nursing degree while having a job/ benefits/ experience. I think an associates degree only takes a couple of years. Do your homework- some hospitals will reimburse tuition for nursing education (although w/ the economy in the shape it's in many have stopped). Even if they don't help w/ tuition, look into scholarships/ grants. Here is one site that may help, but if you google "how to get scholarships/ grants for nursing school" you'll get a bunch of results:

http://www.nursingscholarships.org/

If that doesn't pan out for him, look into nursing programs @ community colleges. That's how my DH got his degree, and the tuition was not too bad.

Very best wishes!!! :)

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My best friend is from the TX side of Texarcana. Her hubby joined the Marine Corps.
How well does he play his instruument, and is it only the guitar? All services have bands he could try out for, unless it's guitar. They take brass and woodwinds.
His first step is the recruiter. At 33 he may be too old. Plus why not check out other services?
The Army's depoyments are very long, over a year. If he is Marine Corps the deployments are 7 months for a Mediterranean pump or 13-14 months in Afghanistan. These are hard, for both of you.
The Navy ships each have a schedule, My son is stateside, but his buds have all gone out 6 months, then home then 6 months out then home. SOme are 6 out then 12 home.
You will have to be very self reliant. Learn to do everything, without complaining and crying about it. He will be gone, the work hours are not 9-5. THey are more like 4:30 in the AM to 7 or 8 at night and sometimes later if they are on a workup to go overseas. Always remember that the Army/NAvy/Marines never issued a wife. So in their eyes you are just an annoyance, especially if you get in the way of his job.
THe good outweighs the bad and the benefits are great, health care, Commissaries, housing, DOD schools, job security, instant family, we really look out for each other.

I am a 21 year Marine wife. He just retired 18 months ago. I loved it and hated it. THere was a comfort in knowing exactly when the next paycheck was coming, without question. But there was the move every 2-3 years, and the deployments and his milirtary schools. It's not for the weak at heart.

One more thing, How old are your kids? Moving is great if they are under 10 or 11. Once they hit middle school it is very difficut, in High School it is torture. And the miltiary does not care if they are going to be seniors that next fall.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

My husband is Army. What degree is he wanting? I know my husband was warned not to join until after getting accepted to school and even to wait until classes had started, but he was becoming a doctor and he didn't join until after getting into medical school. If it is something they need, if he were to join after getting into school, they M. let him finish before deploying him, not guarantees though. I will say that the medical coverage ROCKS. This is coming from a woman that didn't have insurance for her 1st two pregnancies, so take it as you will. If you go to your primary care physician, it is 100% free, it does come with the drawback that you can't choose who your primary care physician is, so you M. get stuck with a person that rubs you the wrong way (this can be fixed by changing from adult med, for you and ped. med for the kids to family med or visa versa).

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