An Out of Control Five Year Old

I can syphatize with you , I have three children that have been there done that and it is not easy but don't give up on her ever. love her even more it shall pass. I know you are going to ask when I can't really answer that for you every child is different.

if she doesnt do it at school then she does it at home because she can get away with it ....stick to your rules sit down with her and tell her what you expect of her and do it if she misbehaves put her in her place (timeout in the same place everytime).

I also have a 4 yrold dughter that sounds just like your 5 yr old. I ahve tried everything. I am now being told that it may be mental health issues and to have her evaluated for that. I am going to have it done only because I tend to agree that this is what it may be. I also don't know what else to try. Maybe you can try it from that angle too.

I am dealing with that with my 3 yr old. He has destructive disturbance behavoral disorder with symptoms of ADHD. He is violent towards me and my 4 and 1/2 year old. We are just dealing with it right now. We have him an EI class at school which will hopefully be able to help us deal with his behavior. I have no solutions for you. I can just let u know you are not alone. I am going through it now also. If you need to talk to vent you can email me and I will get back too. I know you are going to need as much support as you can get. Sometimes it helps tlaking to others who are going through the same things you are.

Bobbi,
i think i am headed your way with my two and a half daughter. she gets red in the face, temper tantrums are her middle name, scream pitch a fit bite her sister push her sister all of it
but if i remember correctly she was always like this though. at 5 weeks old she used to get her head up when she didn't want to 'cuddle.' she was born with personality
doctor's say there's nothing wrong just she has a temper and strong personality.
so i guess i try to ingore when she enters into one of her moods. i say 'i try' because it sue is tempting sometimes.
on that note, taking away her favorite toy when she gets like that works sometimes. i even get a i am sorry mami once in blue moon:)
good luck
vlora

I also tend to think that if she is not behaving badly at school, then she's learned that she can behave this way at home. Always be consistent with discipline. Be firm about what you expect of her, explain consequences and then follow through. It might help to talk to her teacher about her behavior at school, and perhaps a school counselor who could recommend something like a Parenting Center to help show you how to establish guidelines and give you support while you work through this. I work with a lot of teenagers and pre-teens who behave like model children in our structured environment, but they tear up their homes and parents, because that's the pattern that's been established at home.

B.,

Have you ever tried the "Timeout Tots" dvd? Another mom on another board recommended it to me. I checked out the website, but bought from ebay.
It demonstrates all kinds of unacceptable behavior (pushing, hitting, biting, tantrums, etc) and then goes over the CHILD'S OTHER CHOICES for their behavior that would have better outcomes. We watched it once a day. The first week my son imitated the bad kids... he thought it was funny. BUT the second week when I would catch him in an undesirable behavior the dvd went on to that part and he saw the alternative behaviours.
The whole focus is giving kids their power to make choices - they are in charge of themselves and to take pride in their behavior and timeouts are for thinking and reflection and it's ok to mess up because they are just learning how to behave like a big kid. Seemed a little psycho-babble-ish to me. But worked like a charm.

Hello Bobbi Joe,
Could it be that your daughter is acting out at home because the envoriment isn't very structured, i know that if i don't follow my daugther's bed time routine she won't go to bed until like 1 am so it's just easier for me to follow it. Also she may just be acting out because she wants you to spend time with her, my daughter does that as well, only because i just had a baby in october so she is still getting use to being a big sisiter right now, plus she is enrolled in swimming lessons and that has seemed to help her out 'cause now she has something that she can only do and she loves it and is soo much happier and just more of a joy to be around, and when she is home now she helps me out with the baby and pretty much has stopped telling me to put him down when i am feeding him. Hope this helps out a little
Good Luck
S.

Hi Bobby Jo! My name is L. and I too am a military wife & SAHM. I can truly understand your frustrations. I have 4 children (1 of which I inherited) their ages are 15, 13, 9 & 17 months. Have you tried to ignore her when she has her tantrums/outbursts? That's what I do when my 17 month old falls out. I have even fallen out with him. LITERALLY!! LOL I would lie down in the floor and kick my feet and scream just like he was doing. Of course he would look at me like I was crazy but guess what, he'd stop just to ask me "What's wrong? What's the matter?" His tantrums have slowed down a bit but I'm still working on him. Have timeouts worked any? With my older kids the way I do it is pretty simple, tell them what I expect of them (no options) and if they go against the grain and get in trouble they lose all of the things that are most important to them i.e. computer, phone, outside activities, etc. Good luck sweetie and just know that you are not alone. There are also some parenting groups available to help you. Please dont think that anyone would think of you as a bad parent. Its actually just he opposite. To that you are asking for help shows youre an excellent parent. And sometimes we all need a little outside help! Good luck. (BTW: Where r u stationed?)