Hi! My little daughter is 14-months-old, and we have had a very healthy nursing relationship since she was born. I have really enjoyed nursing my daughter. As a working mother, I found it vital to staying connected with her. However, the past few weeks have become very challenging for me. She has started pulling my shirt down whenever she pleases (at dinner with my in-laws, in the grocery store, etc.) and she gets very upset and scrams if she cannot nurse. I have been trying to slowly wean her, but we have been backsliding lately. i wanted to do baby-led weaning, but to tell the truth, I am just exhausted. She still wants to nurse 1-2 times in the night. i feel like she is still waking up so much because of nursing, and that if she were weaned, we would all sleep better. But she is really, really fighing it. Has anyone else had a child who was impossible to wean? All of my friend said their kids didn't really care that they awre getting weaned and that it was a smooth transistion! No such luck here. I dod not want to traumatize my child, but I have read that nursing should end if either mother or child begins to lose interest. i feel VERY guilty that it is me who is ready first, but you just hit a point when you want your body back. Am I being selfish? I need help! :)
Thank you so much for everyone who responded. I just put my daughter to sleep for the first time without nursing her and I was just in tears until I came upstairs to read my email. Today was day 1 without nursing, and by far the hardest day, I'm sure. No matter how tired you get or how much you want a change, once you decide to wean, you realiz it is the end of something very special. But I also realize that it is the beginning of some exciting new stuff. My daughter is starting to take steps and say some new words and do all sorts of wondeful things, so I am definitly going to focus on all of that! Again, thanks everyone, and I'm sure this is not the end of this little saga, but i think the biggest hurdle has already been jumped :)
I am very involved with a local La Leche League group here, in fact we just had our group meeting this morning and weaning was the topic! I'd be happy to give you our leader's name and she can go over some things for you! How great that you've nursed your daughter this long!! She is lucky to have such a great mom! :)
C. Tai
Jockey Person to Person
Independent Comfort Specialist
www.comfortparty.com
Good Luck with the weaning. My only advice is...Don't feel guilty that you are traumatizing your 1 year old. You aren't. I don't remember anything before the age of 3. Do you?
hello M. I too breast feed 2 boys when they were young and stopped at 1st boy at 6 months i believe and 2nd with breast mastitis a infection of the breast milk it gets to 105 or 6 degrees i believe and my ducts were clogged antibiotics helped but i used a breast pump and frooze my milk and introduced the bottle that way neither of my boys would take the pacifier but i suspect shes older she very comforted with the breast and feeding her. Is it in china or elsewhere they breast feed there children to 5 lol i know not here. Im sure your getting tired just a few suggestions that may help i dont know everybody is different but the Dr should be able to helpalso anyways pump your milk and introduce her to a sippee cup and drink like the big girls when you go out good luck and it is very bonding so hang in there D.
Don't feel selfish!! I don't have any experience with a child refusing to wean (mine did it them selves, which made me feel just as bad as you do about wanting to be the one to wean!), but I just had to say that you SHOULD NOT feel guilty!! Feeling like you HAVE to breast feed just isn't good, for you or your daughter. It sounds like your little one is going thrue the terrible twos early,,, groan,,, but be strong and hang in there. Personally, I found that letting a little one scream it out in there room alone, with the door closed of course, does wonders : ). Even if it takes serveral times for them to get the hint that crying just isn't gonna work! I hope some other mama's can give you the advice you need.
Good luck mama : )
Hi. I think you have done well. "They" do say you should breast feed for as long as mutually acceptable. Working and nursing your daughter at the same time is commendable. I nursed my daughter until she was 2 1/2 when she initiated weaning (she forgot to ask for it for a few days and I told her it was all gone when she asked again). But I didn't work until she turned 2. I had moments when I wanted to stop. One of our problems was embarrassment about her lifting my shirt. That just required behavior modification. I also worried that people were judging me because I was still breast feeding, but ultimately it was between she and I. It's the same for you and your daughter. If you are done, you're done.
Don't worry about being selfish, you need that extra energy to be a good mom.
Hi M.,
I think you are being too hard on yourself. You nursed your daughter well beyond the recommended time, so you shouldn't feel guilty stopping. Personally, I don't agree with BF advocate organizations, because they are pushy, tend to tell mother's that there is only one way, and if you don't do it one way then you are not a good mother. I think as long as our children are happy and healthy that's all that matters. In reading many postings on this website, we Mom's place too much blame and guilt on ourselves for everything. We get caught up in trying to be perfect Mom's...but there is no such thing. In 100 years, no one (including distant relatives) is going to know you stopped BF'ing a couple months early.
My Cousin had a little difficulty weaning her daughter, but all she did was remind her that she is old enough to start using a tippy cup, and they played games with it. Like tea-party, putting something yummy in the tippy cup (like apple juice, or a treat of chocolate milk), etc... It didn't take her long to understand. She just needed a little reminding. You may be having a hard time with it because you are feeling guilty, but you really shouldn't. You daughter will be perfectly fine. It's just a transition.
Good luck, and take care!
