Seeking Advice from Breastfeeding moms--I Want to Wean My 5+ Month Old Girls

I'm sorry you're so stressed.

I was told to hold off solids til 6 months. You may want to discuss that with their doctor first and keep them on formula or a combo of formula and breastmilk only.

Can you and your husband trade off who feeds them (however you feed them) at night? My husband and I trade who gets "sleep deprived".

Oh, my dear, you've done a great job, but if you keel over from exhaustion how can you be an effective mother otherwise. It's okay if you give them formula, sippy cups as soon as they can hold them, real food, whatever works for you. Don't let anyone or yourself put you on a guilt trip. Sometimes you have to be smart enough to say "done." And if the girls like the formula/milk, well then it'll be easy. And they'll sleep thru the night. And dad can help out more. And you might be able to find a minute's peace so your head doesn't explode and you don't cry in the bathroom(cause I know you must be, I did)....best wishes

The first thing is, hang in there - it will get better one way or another. Sleep deprivation is a powerful thing that makes things seem much less manageable! I, too, was extremely drained by breastfeeding - not just the loss of sleep, but the actual energy burned making the milk (not to mention brain cells burned it seems!), but managed to persevere for a while because: like you say, it was an amazing parental bond; my dd seemed to get sick whenever I started to ween (ie. loss of the antigens bf'ing was giving her); and frankly, it was actually much easier in the nightime to just roll over and feed her than get up and get a bottle. Plus, I figured once the milk factory was up and running the hassle and expense of switching to formula (which they have to have until they are one since they
can't have cow's milk until then) didn't seem worth it. Whatever you decide will be right for you, but I just wanted to pass that along because once you decide there isn't a way to turn back. That said, there are lots of options you can consider.

You could stop and put them on formula. This, however won't stop the night feedings though and you'll have to get up and make the bottle. I am wondering if they are actually reversing day and night. I figured out at one point that my child was on a night feeding schedule and then didn't so much in the day. Her stomach was "sleeping" during the day and up at night. It may be challenging the first week, but try to spread out night feedings so that they are less frequent than days. Our biological memories are amazing that way - if they figure out they need to eat during the day, they will.

I would actually suggest not only spreading out their feedings at night, but try pumping for a bit (it is a pain and if it doesn't work, fine, but then you are free to share the duties at night with your partner - one feeding for you and one for him). Try it for a while and then if it doesn't work for you, re-asses the situation. It is all about experimenting until you find what works best for you! Good luck.

Part of being a good mom is doing what is best for you. Being a good mom is not putting yourself last. If you are so tired that you aren't available mentally and physically for your twins, you aren't doing them any favors.
I was an exclusively bottle feeding mom. People looked down on me, but you know what? I didn't care. I did what was best for me and in turn what was best for my children. My children are happy, healthy, well adjusted, very bright teenagers. They have not suffered in the least.
My advice - Get some formula. Give the kids a bottle. Get some sleep.
Also - my children were eating solids much earlier than 5 months. They were HUNGRY! So, if your girls aren't sleeping through the night, I recommend some rice cereal at the last feeding. It will stay in their tummies and they won't wake up. You'll have to work on finding the right amount of cereal, but once you do... ahhh blissful rest.

YMMV
LBC

I know some other ladies have already mentioned this but I wanted to add my two cents ;) Definitely consider giving them solids, pear or mushy grains are great starters. If they are just hungry girls they may quickly move into other foods. Also, don't give yourself a guilt trip about using bottles - do what you think is right. No one does 'mommyhood' perfectly and stressing yourself out because of a decision to use a bottle is not good for anyone. You don't have to exclusively nurse OR bottlefeed - try a mixture until you have a mix that works for you.

Remember, too, around 6 months is a common time for growth spurts and cutting teeth so those could be reasons the twins are waking more now. It sounds like you have a great support system with your babysitter and husband - USE THEM!!! At least for a few days straight to get yourself caught up on rest. Maybe over this weekend/MLK Day if you and your husband have it off?? Just a thought :)

Hang in there - you're doing awesome!

I understnad how frustrating it is to nurse long term for one baby, I cannot imagine two. Please keep at it as much as you can. I can tell a difference in my own children's propensity to get sick and who is more adventurous in their eating according to who weaned first nad who was supplemented. My oldest was nursed for 18 months exclusively and she is healthier nad will eat anything.

Supplementation with formula is not a bad thing if you are still nursing. I did it with my second. It doesn't mean that you are a bad mom.

Finally remember that your girls are beginning a huge growth spurt at around 5-7 months. They have developmental aspects wit htier brains and bodies that require more nourishment.

This is a choice that only you know what is best...but I encourage you to keep nursing even if it isn't their primary source of nourishment.

My only note would be that they may be in their 6 month growth spurt, which would explain the increased feedings right now. Going through the growth spurts with my son, who is now almost 1, was really hard and really tiring. It must be crazy with 2. So, more power to you for hanging tough. If it is a growth spurt, it should pass in a couple of days, and the feeding frequency should decrease for good at that point. (Solid food will also make the feeding schedule more manageable). Good luck, whether you decide to stick it out or go to formula.

Hi P.,

Hang in there, we all reach points in our nursing of little ones when we feel overwhelmed and that we just can't take it anymore. I couple of hints, make sure you are eating well, lots of protein and LOTS of water.

I have hit that 'can't take it point' several times while dealing with both my kiddos and nursing. But still going strong with dd who is 2.5 and nursed ds til he was about 4.

Some good websites for more info are: www.llli.org, www.kellymom.com, www.mothering.com, and www.askdrsears.com.

Good luck!
S.

You can't be a good mom if you are not taking care of yourself. The girls will benefit from this half year that you have breastfed them, and you will benefit from weaning them. It is ok to do things for yourself now that you have kids. Your twins will be just as happy it sounds like if they have formula. Congratulate yourself on making it this far, and do what is best for the whole family- make yourself happy and sane.

Hi,
I also breast fed both my little ones. I didn't have twins though. Do not feel guilty for wanting to stop. The DR. will even tell you they have nursed long enough to get all the nutrients. You have to take care of yourself inorder to take care of them and if weaning them from the nanny is what it takes then just do it. You are doing nothing wrong for wanting to do that. I can't remember how I weaned mine, I may have went cold turkey because of trying to dry up my breasts.You just need to feel better and get some rest. Good Luck to you.
S.

I know how hard a decision this is and ultimately it is yours. There are lots of benefits to nursing and it is true the Am Ped Assoc. recommends up to a year but for me it was just not feasible any longer. I have just about finished weaning my 6 mo old son. I can't understand the demands of twins but I can understand what it is like with the lack of sleep. I debated internally for a while about this decision and then decided I was ready. My son is healthy, big, and growing well and there are plenty of babies that do great on formulas today. They have really gotten a lot better than they were even 10 years ago. Anyway how I did it was for a week I tried to skip a nursing session and give a bottle instead. I was full and sometimes uncomfortable but I was able to do it. For the nighttime nursing is certainly easier than getting bottles ready for two babies so I woulc continue with that. You may want to try and time it so that the last wake time feeding is a bottle of formula. Breastmilk is easier to digest than formula which is why breastfed babies feed so often. You will find that the formula will last a little longer in time before you have to feed again. Now that you babies are 5 mo old they can handle it and it is good if they have already gotten formula. Once you skipped every other feeding for a week take out more nursing sessions to where you are one in the AM and one in the PM. Once you hit 6 mo you DR will tell you it is okay not to feed the babies between 12 and 6 am GIVEN that they are healthy weight. But take your Drs advice. Then get down to just the morning nursing for about a week. I liked this time because I realized it was going to be the last sessions so I tried to enjoy them as much as I could. Then try and skip a whole day before nursing again. By this time the babies will be happy with the bottle and should be adjusted. Spreading it out over time really helped my son adjust and me adjust. I am still a bit uncomfortable but I think it will only last a couple of days. I followed this same method when I weaned my first son as well. Good luck!

First of all, don't feel guilty. Every parent is just trying to do the best for their kid(s) and a mommy with no sleep is not a good mommy. Second, if you want to continue breast feeding, how about only giving formula at night? Have bottles ready before you go to bed. With my daughter, when I stopped giving her the breast in the middle of the night she started sleeping longer hours, but she was older. I know it's totally normal for 5 month olds to wake multiple times at night. If you still enjoy breast feeding and your daughters still enjoy breastfeeding, try only replacing night feedings with formula at first. You don't want to completely wean all at once anyway - that would be more torture for all of you. Good luck.

My son refused to breastfeed for me. Basically he had jaundice and had to be bottle fed to make sure he ate enough to pass the billirubin. Once he was bottle fed, he refused to take the breast even with a lactation consultant helping me. So I ended up expressing my milk for him and supplementing with formula. I had to feed him with a bottle then stay up to pump too. If I didn't, my breasts would fill, leak and hurt. This led to me being utterly exhausted as I was up every 2 hours and it took 1+ hour to get everything done. I felt INCREDIBLY guilty but after 4 1/2 weeks, I stopped pumping. I literally cried when returning the breast pump I had rented. My husband thought I was nuts and all my friends just kept saying at least he got the colostrum or they would say they didn't breastfeed and their kids are fine. No one understood what I was feeling - that I had failed my son by not doing what I knew to be best for him. But I finally realized that not being short tempered due to exhaustion and preserving my sanity made me a better mother. So even though nutritionally I wasn't doing what was best, stopping was ultimately the best decision b/c it gave my son a mentally healthy mother. So what I am saying is 1. I understand, you are not alone and 2. cut yourself some slack - you've been feeding 2 babies for 5 months!!! They are healthy and happy and will be even more so with a sane mommy!

Hi P.,

You have done an amazing job breastfeeding both your girls so far. You have given them the best nutrition through the most critical part of their development and you should feel no guilt in stopping. The strain on your body is enourmous and if you are tired and cranky then you aren't a happy mommy and that affects your girls as well. I started weaning my son when he was 7 months old because I just couldn't do it anymore. I have bonded so much better with him since he has been weaned. I enjoy him more, I am less irritable and I really enjoy feeding him solid foods and a bottle rather than nursing. As long as you still get a chance to cuddle with your girls and give them some of their bottles you will still be able to connect well with them, if not even better than before.

In terms of logistics, start by giving them a bottle once a day. I would suggest the feeding right before bedtime. It sounds like they are starting in on their next growth spurt which is why they are waking to eat twice. If you give them a bottle right before bed they can drink their complete fill and often babies will sleep through the night better. Then I would switch out one afternoon feeding next. It will take quite a while for your milk to dry up but if you are only feeding them when you feel full then 1 it easier on you and 2 they are getting enough to eat.

You may also find that if you are only nursing them 2-3 times a day that it is much more manageable and you want to keep those last couple of feedings. The important thing is for you to be healthy and not push your body too far.

As Dr. Sears say, if you are starting to resent it, it is time to change something. You have done your girls a HUGE service. Be proud! Now its time to move on. Best Wishes!

You have the one universal sign of a good mother... GUILT! Anyhow, you ARE the mother and you have to make a decision that is best for your entire family. You and your husband will be better parents when you are well rested! The fact that you have made it this long exclusively breastfeeding twins deserves an award. If you can't fit pumping into your schedule then start weaning. Try going to bottle feedings at night that way you and your husband can take turns. It also digests a little slower than breastmilk so you may have fewer feedings. I know some moms that breastfed only once or twice a day, during the day. Make the choice that is best for you and don't feel guilty. There are plenty of babies out there that were never breastfed and they are just fine! Talk to your pediatrician and have them recommend a formula that meets the needs of your children. And from my experience powder formula is much more conveinient and economical. Good luck.

Wow, I commend you for breastfeeding your girls as long as you have. I do understand your frustration because I breastfeed my 16 mo old daughter untll she was 13 mos. 2 wks. if you really enjoy nursing, maybe you can train your milk and your girls. I did. Nurse a couple of times during the day and then pump a couple of times. Store the pumped milk for dad to feed the girls at night. If you don't pump enough to get through the feedings, then supplement with formula at night. Once you stop nursing at night, your body will stop producing at night. As you said, your girls are probably waking up more at night for comfort than out of hunger (although breastmilk does not go a long way). however, if you are going to break them of that habit, you better do it now. if you wait too long, you'll be like me in that my daughter still wakes during the night. And we've traded the breast for a cup... bad, bad, habit. Also, your girls are old enough for you introduce cereal. if you feed them cereal at night, it should hold them until morning. it is key to break the attachment at night and prevent the hunger. this is what I did to begin weaning my daughter at 9 mos. I just didn't give her any formula.

I hope that helps. Good luck!

I breastfed my daughter until she was 13 months. However, with twins - my best friend has twins that are now 15 months old that is a different story. Our Dr. told her when she weaned her girls at 6 months that most mother's of twins can't go that long. I know she started giving them formula at night - which means Dad can help out a little. I hope that this helps you out if you have any other questions feel free to ask.

First, CONGRATULATIONS on your girls!!!
Secondly, you really need to take care of yourself so that you can be the mom you really want to be. For me, getting enough sleep and feeling well rested was the hardest part of having small children. Without a good nights sleep my patience and ability to interact with my kids was not good. Be good to yourself so that you can be good to your babies! You aren't being selfish you are being a good Mom. If you switch to formula you may find that your energy will increase (for many reasons). Get some sleep - sleep while the babysitter is there and she gives them formula, one or two days of that and you will feel like a new person! YAY! You have already given your babies a great start by breastfeeding them for 5+ months! YAY!! Get some sleep now and take care of you so that you can take care of them.

Hi P.- I am sure you've gotten tons of responses, but I felt compelled to write to you too- I have only one child, and at 5 months I too had had enough. I felt horribly guilty, for working, for being mad at her in the middle of the night, for the cranky sleep-deprived mom that i was, i knew I wasn't doing what my daughter needed. A lot of people told me "oh it is such a short time in their lives, just do it a little longer, you'll regret stopping" etc etc. but when it's taking a physical toll on you emotionally and physically it's time to listen to your body and not to other people. Your daughters have had the benifit of 5 months of your breastmilk- that's fantastic.
I found that a little compromise helped my guilt and helped me wean. I pumped during two of her regular feedings while daddy fed her bottled formula (she wouldn't take it from me) and I saved as much breast milk as I could. Since pumping doesn't empty your breasts like babies do, it slowly backed down my supply. I cut out about two-three feedings a day and substituted pumped milk or formula or a mix of the two. My daughter figured out after about a day that milk was good no matter where it came from, and was content to take a bottle in someone's arms. It took about 3 weeks for me to fully wean her and myself, and since I did it gradually, I really never had much pain or soreness, and my daughter adjusted well. Around 6 or 7 months is when most doctors say babies can stop their middle of the night feedings(after that big growth spurt) so once she was weaned and would take bottles at night, I started watering down the middle of the night bottles and feeding her MORE before she went to bed. After about a week we were giving her straight water, which she totally refused and stopped asking for. It was a slow process, but one that seemed to cause minimal drama.

I applaud you for listening to your body- this is SUCH an emotional thing... breastfeeding is for some wierd reason so controversial... but your goal is to be the best mother you can... and if you are so tired you can't do that, it's time to change the way things are being done. :) good luck!!

Hi P., I just got off the phone with my lactation consultant asking her a similar question (in my case, because I have gone back to work, my little one began to refuse nursing preferring a bottle (with breast milk instead) at night. She suggested that since the baby is now 5 + months, introducing solids, and gradually reducing the nursing time at night to 1 or 2 ounces and offering a pacifier afterwards would encourage him to sleep through the night). Also if you are only giving 1 or 2 ounces of breastmilk at night hopefully you can pump a little more during the day, eliminating your need for mid-night pumping. Of course, they do go through growth spurts and all, but generally they should be getting most of their calories during the day at this age.Wanting to eat a lot at night at this age could also indicate that they are ready for solids as they may not be able to get enough calories from breast milk. Also, at this age, they could be teathing and wanting to nurse for comfort so giving up nursing may not solve the problem of your sleepless nights if this is the case. Hang in there - I admire your ability to nurse the twins!! Whatever your decision will be, you should give yourself a lot of credit for doing this for 5 months already!

FIRST, A PAT ON THE BACK TO YOU FOR DOING A VERY GOOD JOB FOR 5 MONTHS!!!!!! YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED!!!! I HAD TWO BABIES, (ONE AT A TIME) AND WAS THOROUGHLY EXHAUSTED WITH BOTH. i HAD TO GIVE UP FULL TME BREASTFEEDING WITH BOTH OF THEM EARLY BECAUSE OF VARIOUS ISSUES, AND WAS TORN - WE ALWAYS WANT TO DO WHAT IS BEST AND RIGHT. HOWEVER, I WAS TRYING TO MAKE BREASTFEEDING WORK, WHEN I COULDN'T, AND I WAS MISERABLE. BABIES PICK UP ON THIS, TOO, AND THEY ARE NOT GETTING YOU AT YOUR BEST WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED. THEY ARE GETTING TO THE AGE WHERE THEY NEED YOU TO BE MORE THAN JUST A MILK MACHINE!!!! I GOT PAST THE GUILT REALLY QUICKLY WHEN I REALIZED I ENJOYED MY TIME WITH THEM SO MUCH MORE BECAUSE I WASN'T EXHAUSTED (WHICH, BY THE WAY, MADE THE ONE OR TWO FEEDINGS A DAY THAT I CONTINUED TO DO SOOOO MUCH EASIER!)
COMPROMISE WITH YOURSELF. MAYBE INTRODUCE A BOTTLE, MINE EASILY ACCEPTED THEM. I SAVED A MORNING AND AFTERNOON FEEDING, WHICH GAVE THEM THE BENEFITS OF IMMUNITY, ETC, BUT VASTLY IMPROVED MY SLEEP (AND THEIRS, TOO, BY THE WAY!)
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR BABIES - AND REMEMBER, TEN YEARS FROM NOW, THEY WILL NOT SUFFER BECAUSE YOU BREASTFED THEM FOR 5 MONTHS INSTEAD OF 8 OR NINE!!!!

You need to do whatever feels right for you that helps you be a better mom - and that includes taking care of yourself in the form of getting enough sleep. I, too, began giving my baby formula at five months because I was back at work, not getting anywhere near enough sleep to function well at work or at home, and in desparate need of being able to truly share nightime duties. Baby is now 9+ months old, doing GREAT and I'm proud that he got milk from me for as long as he did. I did feel guilty for a while as I was ramping down the breastfeeding, mostly because I put a lot of pressure on myself to breastfeed for as long as possible. But looking back, I'm glad I did what was best for everyone in our family - and that was to make sure we had a happy mama! BTW - I also started sleep training around 5 months (used ferber after much angsting about it, and am soooo glad I did it), and made sure that baby got a lot of milk and formula during the day. That helped stretch out the periods of sleep at night. In general, he still gets up once per night for a bottle and diaper change, but then goes right back in his crib (awake), babbles happily to his stuffed bear for a few minutes, and then sleeps for another 6 hours. Just remember: take care of yourself and it will work out. You WILL sleep and be rested again. Kudos to you for all you've done so far - with TWINS!! It was hard enough for me with one! :-)

i'm sure you're going to get lots of different opinions on this matter. i didn't have twins, but i remember the exhaustion and feeling angry when my little girl would wake me up to nurse.

just a few thoughts - if you can wait it out at least another month for when you start solids, you might be surprise at how their nursing schedule changes for the good. babies don't usually nurse as often and are much more efficient when they do so it's quicker. also, around this time, babies start sleeping thru the night (if they aren't, it usually out of habit of waking up and not soothing themselves back to sleep and not because of hungry). it's tough, but i would definitely recommend to wean them from the middle of the night feeds. when they wake up at night, you'll have to comfort them back to sleep without the boob. it's tough at first, but they will figure i out at a few nights. once they are sleeping better at night and you get more rest, then nursing might not seem as bad.

formula has it's down sides. it's expensive and it's tough finding the right kind that won't upset your babies systems (causing gas pains, etc.). formula in and of itself won't fix your lack of sleep. you'll still have to get up when they cry, only now, you'll be turning on a light to make a bottle instead of just nursing in the dark and going back to sleep. so make sure you are actually identifying the true problem before switching b/c formula is in no way a fix all.

good luck.

I'm a breastfeeding mom who is still nursing two, but of different ages. I would talk to your daughters' doctor before weaning. Breast isn't best, it's what yours and your daughters' bodies were made to make and receive. I would talk to a registered dietitian about your own eating habits and perhaps add a vitamin supplement if you are not still taking your prenatal vitamins. If you aren't eating a good balance of nutritious foods and drinking plenty of water it can effect everything with the body (and the mind).

It sounds like you have your hands full with the pinching and grabbing. It's a phase all babies go through, and it's the perfect time to start teaching "table" manners. Maybe you can get a nursing necklace to keep little hands busy so they aren't free to pinch. Distraction is a pretty good technique at this age.

If the girls' doctor says it's ok to night wean, then have your husband take over night parenting. As to solids, I would wait until they are the equivalent of 6 months full term if they were born early. Again, talk to their doctor about this. Formula may not be poison, but there are serious health risks involved with formula feeding that don't get the publicity that they should like manufacturing mistakes that leave out key nutrients to contamination with salmonella or melamine (and yes many of the US formulas are contaminated, but the FDA says it's too small an amount to issue a recall[I thought this stuff was poisonous period???]). That doesn't even go into the increased risk of food posioning bottle feeding even breastmilk and other issues of not getting it straight from mom.

If you need someone to talk to that can address your specific concerns that are behind wanting to wean, La Leche League has a 24 hour free hotline you can call. They can help you sort out if you really want to wean or if there are other issues surrounding the girls where you might be able to change things or get more support. You have done an amazing job nursing two babies. You should view this as an accomplishment to be proud of. You made it through the first three weeks, you can make it through anything. Eventually, and sooner than you think, they will be backing off the breast and it will be cake.

if you want to quit night nursing, you certainly can; probably your husband will have to feed them until they disassociate you with eating at night.

you could continue to nurse during the day if you wanted to.

depending on how big they are, you could even just quit nursing them at night. i would check with your ped. to see if you can cut out the night feeding.

good luck!

This is just my two cents, but you have to do what you have to do to be a good mommy to your girls. If nursing is as difficult as it sounds, you may need to wean. You did 5 months with two! That is amazing! My first nursed for 15 months, my second stopped at 10 months on his own, and my third son stopped at 8 months on his own. With the third I was working full-time and the other two I was home full-time. When it is right for you and your girls you will know, and if you are so drained you can't give them what they need during the day, then the time may be right. Do not feel bad, and don't feel like you aren't being a good mother. With my sons, I would still hold them with their bottles - I still got the attached mommy and me time with them...and bottle feeding is not the worst thing in the world! Good luck with it - I know it is a hard choice...

Let me just start by saying that I admire you for having nursed twins for so long. I nursed my son till he was close to 22 months old and had so many difficult and frustrating moments when I almost gave up and that was just one child. If I had twins I am not sure I would even have bothered with nursing let alone for so long. So in the guilt department you really have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about for wanting to wean them. You have given them so much already by nursing for so long. And if they seem to like formula ok then there’s no reason not to wean them.

You do need to realize though that at their age they are going through a huge growth spurt and so they still might want to eat at night even if you do give them formula before bed. But then of course you can take one child and your husband can take another and it’s also a lot less exhausting than nursing.

So here’s what you can do. You can keep nursing them during the day if you want to and then give them formula before bed and see what happens. And then gradually you can also start doing formula during the day rather than nursing. You will be uncomfortable and engorged for a few days (you might want to pump just a bit to relieve the engorgement) but your body will adjust.

Regarding solid foods, you would be wise to wait until they are 6 months old unless the pediatrician says it’s ok to start now. When you do start, do cereal with warm formula in the evening about 45 minutes to an hour before their bedtime. Give it to them in a bowl with a spoon rather than in a bottle (trust me on this one!) and begin with just a few tablespoons for the first week. Then still give them a bottle with formula right before bed. Of course they’ll probably drink less from the bottle the more cereal you give them but it will happen gradually. That should also make a difference in their hunger level. Once they are about 7 months old and you have been doing this for a while and have increased the amount of cereal, then you can offer them water at night when they wake up and they might quickly give up on waking up if all they are given is water. Of course if they are really hungry you should give them formula and not water but you will know. You can also water down the formula gradually until they just give up and not wake up anymore.

I hope all of this helps. Please don’t feel guilty – you have done a great job!

For a while I fed them together and about every 3 hours (give or take, plus extra feeds here and there for them individually), then they woke about once per night to eat. This all seemed manageable. But they're so active now (pinching, grabbing, and occasional biting) that it's necessary to feed them one at a time. In addition, they seem to want to eat much more frequently than every 3 hours, and they seem to want to eat 2x's per night now. I suspect that the night feeds might be about the relaxed atmosphere and the quick flowing milk, but regardless it is just exhausting. My husband is always willing to do what he can at night, but he can't feed them my milk unless I pump (which doesn't save me much time/energy), and he is truly suffering at work w/o enough sleep.
Yes, I can take naps during the day when the babysitter is working, and I'm not feeding, and I'm not working my job...but it seems difficult to find a quiet window. I want to just begin giving them formula (which they seem to like quite a bit), along with introducing solids, and slowly backing out of breastfeeding them. But I feel guilty making a decision that makes my life easier.
I would love some advice/thoughts...
A little about me:
Mom of 5 month old fraternal twin girls. Working part-time from home.

You can always give them a bottle at night (with some help from your husband perhaps, or switch off so you both get more sleep), and nurse during the day. If you get more rest at night, that may help your milk supply during the day. It might be enough that you could pump once during the day so it is only one feeding of formula during the night. Formula is not poison. Many people have been raised solely on formula and they are happy, healthy, well adjusted grown-ups. Breast may be best, but sanity is PRICELESS!!!!

A happy mommy is a happy household. If mommy sleeps more and daddy sleeps more, the household runs more smoothly. Don't guilt yourself over it. They will still be getting plenty of breastmilk if you nurse during the day. Nursing twins has got to be tough, I found it exhausting and demanding and I only nursed one.

Good luck and remember...formula is not poison. You are not abandoning your children and leaving them to the wolves!

:)
N.

I also have twins and thought I know what you are going through. Just know that you need to do whatever is best for you and that you should not feel guilty about it. Being a happy mommy is the very best thing you can offer your children.

That being said, I would highly suggest you just wean your children from one or two feedings a day. I know many people make it seem like an all or nothing thing, but it really is not. Your body can adapt. You would pick a feeding, substitute a bottle and then express enough milk that you feel comfortable without emptying your breasts. Try to express less and less each day. If you stick with the same feeding each day, your breasts will stop making so much milk at that time of day but you can continue to breastfeed at other times

Feeling guilty is what we do as moms no matter what we do. So don't feel guilty for giving them all of you for over 5 months.. it is time for you to give them a happier, more relaxed, rested mom.
I felt guilty when I stopped breastfeeding my first.. only a few weeks..but when I was feeding her I resented her soo much for having to have to have only me. I pumped a few more weeks and then we moved on to formula. (the next two kids went directly to formula without guilt!) I was a much happier mom when I held her and looked at her when she bottle fed. I didn't resent her at all.. and we finally bonded!
You give your kids the BEST of you and their BEST life when you DO what works and STOP doing was DOES NOT work anymore.
Good luck..

Please do not feel guilty, we have all been there. It is exhausting breast feeding just one child, I can't imagine the drain it must be to feed twins. I remember trying to work, breast feed my oldest daughter and being pregnant with my second. I thought I was going to collapse from exhaustion. Please do not think you are alone. Keep in mind though, they can sense your frustration and exhaustion. So it is in the best interest of your entire family that you find a way to make this work. My advice is to try to compromise. Since you do enjoy it sometimes, I wouldn't give it up completely. Find a schedule that works for you, nursing every four hours and supplementing with formula the rest of the time. I suspect they are waking more as they sense something is wrong and stop eating before they are really full. Hopefully with a compromise they will start filling up again and let everyone rest more. My daughter went through this too. I had to make her wait another five to ten minutes before I would feed her to make sure she would really eat, instead of snacking. I wish you the best of luck and God bless you and your family.

I'm not a breastfeeding mom, but I tried (unsuccessfully) to nurse both my kids (not twins!). Give yourself a break! When I struggled to nurse, I felt awful giving up on it and going to formula, but I finally realized that I was a MUCH better mother to my children when I wasn't exhausted, frustrated and distracted by the unsuccessful attempts to breastfeed. I could focus on all of their needs and be more attentive. Yes, breastfeeding is ideal, but your daughters have gotten almost 6 months of it (each of my kids only got a couple of weeks) and they will be FINE. Kudos to your supportive husband and to your commitment to do everything you can for your girls. Now get some rest!
One more thing. . .both of my children rarely get sick and, so far, will eat anything I put in front of them! I think breastfeeding helps in these areas, but I don't think it always makes as much of a difference as we think!
B.

This is something that only you can decide. However saying that, wouldn't it be better to be a happy, well RESTED mom who is able to enjoy her baby girls...rather than an exhausted and resentful one? Youve already done a great job by nursing them for this long. Ive heard that its most important for their bodies to get breast milk for the first 2-3 months for the immunities, and formula babies are just as healthy and happy. You should feel no guilt weaning them now, they should be getting teeth soon anyway. Good luck!

I can relate; having twins that young is just plain exhausting, no matter what you do. I tried to breast feed my twins for 3 months; I would end up having to always give them a bottle (of expressed milk) after attempting because they never mastered it (one had some sucking issues-they were born at 32 wks). After that, I just ended up pumping until they were one year. I am not advocating that for you; one would not take formula and it saved at least $200 a month vs formula. It was the right decision for me personally, but it was a huge commitment! You have already given them a great start so far. I think that other post about just cutting out certain feedings and giving formula then is a great idea. Also, do you have a good twins nursing pillow to nurse them at the same time? It also takes a lot of time to make up a bottle, heat it, and wash them afterwards; you'll have to weigh what is better for you. I always was envious of my breast feeding friends as it seemed to be so much easier for them to always have milk ready when they needed it. Hang in there; it WILL get easier!

You have nothing to feel guilty about!!!!! Your will tell you when they are ready to wean and they seem as if they are ready. They are willing to accept formula and solid foods, which means the transition will be easier than you think:) I know you hear breastfeed until they are a year. but that is not always the case. I breastfed both of my children the oldest until she was 10months and the youngest till she was 6 months. each one transitioned well. My guilt was because I was not doing what the other mothers were doing and I was also a working mom. I am a nurse a mother of two and a grandmother of one.
P. your a good mom and doing well by them.

P. - First, you are doing a GREAT job with two little ones, breastfeeding, working... Do NOT feel guilty about any decision you make - you are doing what you feel is right for you and your family. Should you choose to wean now - you are doing so with the best of intentions and to hopefully help you get more rest - and if you are happier ultimately then you can take better care of your babies.

a couple of things to think about - If you choose to wean primarily because of night-time feedings and get rested at night, then the girls may still be waking up for night-time feedings so weaning will only be effective in getting you more rest only if you and your husband would be taking turns waking up with them.

Tips on weaning - sounds like they already like formula & are able to take a bottle - these are the two biggest hurdles with weaning. If that is fine, then just start with taking away one feeding at a time every few days or every week until they fully transition. Start with the feeding that seems the least "important or favorite" to them. for example, the feeding right before bedtime may be really important to their bedtime routine.

I hope this is helpful - not sure if you were just looking for advice on how to wean or whether you should wean or not...

I think you've gotten some great advice. I don't have any practical advice since I only nursed my three boys (one at a time!). Neither of them ever took formula or a bottle. Straight to the sippy cup at one year!
One thing I always told myself during those trying periods is that infancy/breastfeeding is such a short period of time when you look at the big picture, even when you breastfeed for a year or longer. So, try to stick it out for another week or two and see if their schedule settles down. Good luck to you and your little girls!!

I can only imagine how busy you are nursing twins! Now, I can't speak about having twins, but my 3rd daughter is now 23 months. Since we have two older children and I am a SAHM, when the baby was born, we decided to supplement with formula. She did fine going between breast and bottle, and it became easier for my husband or older girls to feed the baby. It was also easier when we went out, or I was in the middle of making dinner, or really doing something that I couldn't stop doing to nurse her. At first I felt guilty, but then I realized that she was still getting mama's milk & growing, and that I also had to do what was best for my whole family, not just the baby. I still nursed the baby at bedtime and in the morning before school, and during the night when she'd wake up. Looking back on it, I think I was a happier mama by not being the sole food source.

I think the important thing to remember is that you can still bond with your babies whether you breast or bottle feed. My 1st DD was bottle fed, my 2nd DD was all breast, and my 3rd DD was a mix. I got to spend lots of quality time with them no matter how I was feeding them.

Good luck with your decision.

Hi P.,

I feel for you.. I REALLY do. I didn't have twins but I had a REALLY demanding nurser and child all together. I was SO exhausted, I wanted to die, but when I offered her a bottle, I would feel so awful and so guilty. I toughed it out till 6 mos, and was ready to wean, but SHE had other ideas. Now she wouldn't take a bottle. This lasted for almost 3 more mos. Finally at around 9 mos she FINALLY took a bottle. I had been DONE for a WHILE.. and I resented her for not letting me stop. I was THRILLED when it was over.
I look back now and I LOVED the time I did nurse and I wish I had been able to get her to stop when I was ready for it to be over, but I am happy I did it for as long as I did. Don't drive yourself NUTS. You need to be in good spirits for your sanity and for your girls. You have made this far, and twins MUST be exhausting. Try not to feel guilty. You are a good MOm and you have SO MANY new and exciting milestones to look forward to .. like the BEAUTIFUL mess of eating solids. Its a MESS but FUN!!! Even though you are nervous about how to mother them without nursing, you will start to see their budding personalities as they find their independence and you will find new reasons to love and nurture them every day. Best of luck to you. Write if you need to!
D.

Hi, P.. I also have twin daughters, and went through the same thing as you are going through now. If your daughters already like formula, the physical part of transitioning from breast milk is almost done. It's the emotional part that is going to be the hardest. Only you know if it is the right time to ween them. I would suggest continuing to breast feed them, but only 1 to 2 times a day. Pick a time when you're the most relaxed, and both you and your babies can enjoy the closeness. If they wake up during the night, give them a bottle instead of breast feeding. If they are both waking up regularly, always feed them both, even if you have to wake the other one up. Try not to feel guilty about your decision. If you're not taking care of yourself, it's much harder to take care of them!

I very much understand being tired but I am not sure that weaning is the answer. It is stressful having little ones and breastfeeding provides you with hormones that help you relax. It will not make night time easier because you can not sleep through bottle feeding. I have breastfed 5 of my 6 kids. the one I did not I could not because he had a birth defect that prevented it. It is so much more work to haul bottles everywhere and at night you can not sleep through a bottle feeding. you can nurse and hold another child at the same time but you can not hold two kids and a bottle well at all. I would say if you are feeding your babies anything but breastmilk you have already begun to wean them and my advice is to persevere. This to will pass and you will miss nursing them it is a precious time.

Whatever you decide do it slowly and one feeding at a time (per every couple of days or more). To avoid discomfort.

If I were you I would just wean down to few feedings a day and bottlefeed the rest of the time. They are old enough to switch back and forth and then you'll still have the best of both worlds (however I would have a pretty strict bottles only in the middle of the night). Just leave everything you need on a tray in your room and maybe leave the water in a thermos (since it is winter and the water could get really cold). I wouldn't worry about giving them warm bottles however, that really isn't necessary, you just don't want the bottles to be super cold.

Whatever you decide is best, trust your instincts!

R.