Advice on Getting 1 Year Old to Sleep Without Screaming.

Hi C.! I know this is really hard, my daughter is 18 months old and we went through the same thing about two months ago. I wish I would have done this a lot earlier, but I got some great advice from this very website. So, my suggestion is, look online at... believe it or not, Supernanny! We started my daughter on the controlled crying where you go in at 5 min, 10 min, 15 min, etc... The very first night, she cried up to the 30 minutes ( i know you don't like hearing her cry...but you won't regret this), after that it was 10, then 5, and within the same week she would only cry a minute or so! It was amazing! I didn't think my husband and I would ever get a full nights sleep, but it changed. Now she is a champ and almost never cries, and if she does, it is never more than 2 minutes. Good luck, I know it's hard, but it is so worth it! Oh yeah one last thing, now that she can go to sleep on her own, she sleeps ALL night long! AWESOME!

Both my kids are good sleepers. My son would sleep easily at that age. My DD, who just turned 1, has always fought going to bed for naps and at nighttime. She always cries for up to 30 minutes. Then she promptly falls on her behind in her crib and goes to sleep on her own.

It doesn't harm your baby to cry for a little while. My DD is crying right now since it is her bedtime. The rule in our house right now is, unless she is crying that "I am scared out of my mind" cry, we let her cry for up to 30 minutes and then go and check on her. Right now she is doing the "I just want attention" cry so I will leave her in there for a little while longer before I think of going in to her.

You might want to check out this book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I got a lot of good tips from it.

Good Luck!

I know there is so much debate over this and I once debated it too. HOwever, I was unable to do that. Now my kids are 9 and 6 1/2 and there was no "long-term" affect on not letting them cry themselves to sleep. They go to bed just fine after prayers and good-nights from us. In fact, I've also heard that kids are more independent by either sleeping with their parents or being comforted to sleep. This was just my experience. Good luck with whatever you choose.

I have a one year old who has been a nap fighter since about four months. We used to rock her until her eyes closed but not sound asleep for awhile but then started having trouble at night getting her back to sleep after frequent wakings. So we started putting her down eyes open after minimal rocking and sleeping. We would grab her Lambie Pie and once she was rubbing her face in him we knew she was tired ready for a nap. Still she still cries and fusses for 5 to 15 minutes (sometimes longer) probably 50% of the time. If she is screaming and wailing, starts to gag and cough, or goes on and on for a long time, I obviously go in and try to calm her down. Sometimes we forego a nap until later (which I prefer not to do b/c sometimes that means only one nap that day and a cranky child later on). But I think some babes just need to expell that last bit of energy before they can settle in.

You can always extend your winding down time if she seems less than anxious to go down. It always helps to watch for sleepy signs and get her down in that perfect window. For my daughter, who is a busy little one, sometimes she doesn't show sleepy signs until I start to wind her down and she is still enough to realize she is tired. So I also keep an eye on the clock.

Believe me, I feel ya. Its hard to hear her cry, but when I know she needs to sleep and set some boundaries like I mentioned above, I know she is ok.

LIke some of the other moms have said, putting them down to sleep doesn't necessarily cause future probs, but allowing them to learn to fall asleep on their own is always good practice.

I have two older kids and went through the same thing. You are definitely doing the right thing, but you just have to stick it out. It's hard, but it WILL eventually stop. 5-15 min. isn't bad - some kids cry for hours. My kids only took two nights to stop, but they were 6 mos. old. The older the child, the longer they cry. But I know it will stop. Just hang in there, and keep strong!!

If my kid (18 mos.) is "awake but drowsy," he will almost always scream before falling asleep. I think some kids just need to blow off that last little bit of energy. In the grand scheme of things, 5-15 minutes is not that bad. Just put earplugs in or take a shower so you don't have to listen to it.

Hi C.,

I know the screaming is rough. Who wants to hear their child cry like that? I'm proud of you for doing it, though, because you'll never have any piece once she moves to a big bed if you don't start this now. She will go to bed at some point without crying. I would be surprised if lasts beyond a week, but if it does it's okay. (I would say if she's still doing it in a month, you may want to revisit what could be going on). Remember it's been a huge change for her. It's bound to take time. What the first responder said is right-make sure you have something to do while she's crying. As moms we feel like if we listen to it then we're being more sympathetic. That's not going to help anyone. My girlfriend always told me to go work in the laundry room with the washer and dryer on. Sometimes it's cool to set a timer as well to see really how long the screaming is going on (let your husband control it so you're not listening), and it may help to find out the nights are really more like 5 than the 15. Plus, you'll start to see each night if it is getting shorter. Good luck, and you're doing the right thing!

P.S. And you could pick out 1 item (stuffed animal, etc) that she has access to only when she's in bed. It doesn't necessarily have to be something she's attached to now, but something she can learn she'll see every time she goes to bed.

Oh, yes, we did this too and some nights my son cried for 20 minutes and it would stress me out! But then I would be on my way to go into his room and right before I would get to the door, he would stop. It took a week or two. It's so hard, my husband and I second guessed ourselves many times. But now it's wonderful. I lay him down and he is awake but sleepy and I can hear him talk to his stuffed animals for a few minutes then he's quiet. Keep up the work, I know it's hard at first but it will get better and it will be much easier on you in the long run.