About to Welcome #2 and Getting Really Emotional...

You'll love them both, but you'll love them different. Its funny, emotionally I had a harder time going from 1 to 2, than I had going from 2 to 3! Plus the oldest will have a playmate! It will be so awesome to see their bond! You'll see, everything will be perfect....

That was the reason I waited to have #2. I gave my 1st born the first 5 years of her life with me - TONS of quality time and bonding. Now she's in school all day, my #2 will have lots of Mommy and me alone time too, as well as family time. Next one will probably be 4 years apart, and if I have a 4th, maybe 3-4 years apart too.

I was worried about the same thing, but now I cannot imagine our family without son #2. He totally completes us all and has brought so much joy and so much love into our world. I'm looking at him right now and I get teary just thinking about him.... he's only four months but I literally cannot believe we didn't have him in our family until now.
Plus, having number 2 made me love and appreciate number one in a whole new way! That sounds corny, but it totally did!
Good luck--- I'm sure your new daughter will complete your family in the same way!

I had twins first and am expecting #3 in June. I think because I've always known parenting as dividing my time between the two, I'm not as anxious. I do realize that they're lives will change as well as mine, but just know that even though you won't be able to give her 100% of yourself anymore, she will always have 100% of your love.

I wondered the same thing right before I welcomed our son (baby #2)....but the second I saw him, I melted -- we don't call him Sweet William for nothing :) Our daughter adjusted well but she was younger than yours (17 mos). I made sure to give her as much special attention as possible. I am about to go through this again with baby #3 (I am due 5/19) -- and again, I am getting all emotional and hoping that baby doesn't come till his due date (or later) so I can have some more special time with my 2.5 and almost 4 year olds :) Freezing time would be nice ;) Best wishes to you. It will be different, but it will be good different -- just wait and see!

You can still make special time for your first. For example I will be taking my 3 year old to the movies for the first time while Daddy takes care of our 5 month old =)

We still have our snuggle time after the baby goes to bed as their bedtimes are different and of course she will be the only big sister which is obviously an important, special role that should be emphasized. My 3 year old loves her little sister and though we don't get to spend as much time just the two of us - we just make sure the time we do have is noted as being special.... of course =)

And you are probably right - they will never know until they have their own. Another mom/good friend who is the mother of 3 boys told me that when I was pregnant with my first. Two of her boys now have babies and they have express those sentiments to her =)

It isn't so much the end but rather an another chapter in the history of your own family! And as another mentioned to you - the amount of love you feel is crazy and it does make you appreciate both children as individuals and as sisters.

Mama, you just cry it out! It is so normal to feel this way and in a way it is true. But you will start to see your oldest in a new way. She will amaze you as a big sister and watching her love on her baby sister will show you that is is so worth it. So cry for the end of an era, but rejoice in the blessings and joy your new daughter will bring to you and your family.

I have 2 girls, ages 2 and 4. It's so wonderful to see them play together now, have "tea parties," play dress up, make each other laugh (and sometimes cry). It's wonderful to have sisters close in age. My older one is very proud and protective of her little sister, and the little one wants to be just like the big one. It is an adjustment for everyone, but ultimately it's worth it!!
All the best to you and your family. :)

Yeah I felt the same way. You will LOVE life with your two girls though!

It IS the end of an era :) But the beginning of a new one! I remember well my daughter and I heading out to a nice day at the mall and having ice cream together on the due date of my second. I just wanted to freeze time.

The feeling lingered for about 6 weeks or so while we got used to having a new baby in the house and my older daughter adjusted (the baby is one year old, sometimes I feel like my 4 year old is still adjusting! She can be SO needy sometimes for attention). I felt sad on two counts- sad that my relationship with my older daughter was being altered and that things were a little tough on her, and also sad that my new daughter would not ever get the level of singular attention that my first did :( It's bittersweet! You just cope. Then you start to notice all the sweet moments between the two sisters, and you know this was how your family was meant to be!

Good luck for a safe and enjoyable delivery!

I was the same way. When I first found out I was pregnant with #2, I was hormonal and I was so afraid that I had "ruined" my daughter's life by getting pregnant when she was still so young (I was hoping to wait until she was at least three, but oops! she was only two when our son was born). I asked my husband what he thought, and he said "It'll be great; she'll have someone to play with." And he was right, they love to play together, especially now that they're older. They always fight, but thankfully they play together a lot more than they fight. Don't worry, it'll be a change, but all of you will adjust and it'll be an amazing experience to watch the both of them grow up together. Congratulations on your new baby!

You will find that your love for your first born increases and the love for your second is just as strong as for your first...Congrats and what you are feeling is normal. It will take some time to adjust but when you do you'll wonder how you could have ever lived without both of them. :)

I haven't read all the responses, but I'm totally there with you! I'm due any day with number two and the other night my hubby and I were BOTH a little weepy with these thoughts. That said, I remember worrying that I wouldn't have a connection with my child when I was pregnant the first time, and boy oh boy was that a worry for nothing! ;) I'm going to come back and read your responses when it isn't the middle of the night - LOL - because I'm sure I'll find a lot of helpful things too!

Remember that (hopefully!) your youngest will take more naps than your eldest, and use those times for special things with her. And remember what a gift you are giving her by giving her a sibling...something she may not "get" until a lot later.

Also, I think you are right - kids don't fully grasp a mother's love until they have children of their own...at least I didn't, and I was 31 when I had my daughter! That was probably the most amazing thing to me about becoming a mother...realizing that my mom had snuck in at night just to watch me sleep because she was so overwhelmed with love...wow.

Yes, it's true that you won't have as much one on one time with her as you used to and things WILL be different, BUT some truly wonderful changes happen too!! Your daughter will have a sister, and seeing the love they have for eachother, and watching them play together and grow together makes your heart swell with happiness!! I have 4 children, and there is nothing that makes me happier than to see them all playing together or when one is hurt or sick, to see the concern on the face of the others. They truly love eachother. Yes, they sometimes fight, but I know that in the end they have eachothers' backs. I'm happy to know that even when I'm gone, they'll have eachother to lean on when they need to.

You will still have alone time with your 1st daughter for quite some time since babies sleep a lot (at least during the day-lol). Even when baby is awake, you can have her in the swing next to you, and be coloring or playing play-dough with the 1st. Your 1st might even be content to cuddle up with you and watch Dora or something while you doze off ;)

Heck, with 2 it's still relatively easy to carve out special time w/ each of them. When we had 2, my DH would do something special w/ one, while I would do something special w/ the other. "Special" doesn't even have to be anything elaborate- just getting that time alone w/ a parent means a lot- and if something is bothering them, that's usually when they will open up.

Don't worry, Mom, it'll be different- but wonderful :o)

It is completely natural to grieve the end of a season of life, while rejoicing the arrival of a new one. I manage this best by remembering that life is made of different seasons, each different with its own challenges and rewards, and that it is natural to grieve the end of a season. At the same time, every moment I resist letting go of the past, I become numb to my present and future. I always remind myself that this is the reality of life, I cannot change it, and I must enjoy the ride.

Well it is the end of an era in a way but it doesnt have to be a bad thing. Now you get to watch her transform from an only child to a big sister. I felt the exact same way just before my second was born. I even cried for hours about how I ruined my two year olds whole life by getting pregnant(lol hormones). But watching her become a big sister was magical....it brought out a part of her personality that we hadnt seen before.And we still got one on one time while the baby was napping.

The day before I had my daughter I got really really sad and was basically sobbing because I knew my son's life was going to change in ways he didn't understand. He was 2.9 when I had her...all I can tell you is that my kids LOVE each other, and you will not believe how heartwarming it is to see them laughing their butts off together. What you're feeling is totally normal, it is the end of one era, but the next one is just as special and amazing. Also, be sure to take those opportunities for one-on-one time with your daughter when they come up (the baby is napping, etc)...even just reading her a book or doing a little project, or just cuddling with her will go a long way. You're a good mommy ;-)

I have two daughters who are two years apart. They are the best of friends and I am SO glad to have two girls. It is the best gift you can give your oldest daughter. It is such a blessing. My husband and I always make time to have one on one time with each girl and it is still so special. Your will have special time with your oldest when your youngest naps. I always tried to make that her time and she loved it. Now they are 4 and 6 and so much fun. I feel like I missed out in life by not having a sister!!! It is the best! You are very lucky.

G.

i could have written this post 9 months ago! My little girls are 3.5 and 9 mo. I promise once you all adjust you will giggle at yourself for feeling this way. On one end, the oldest had the privilege to have one on one mommy time, but now I realize that my baby has the privilege of an older sister who makes her giggle, laugh, and light right up. And as for the three year old, she had her mommy time and now she has the privilege of having a blast with her little sister. You are right though, it is the end of an era, so go ahead and grieve. You aren't able to be excited to trade the old era for the new era because you can't feel, see, and know how much fun this new era is. Go ahead and shed a tear. Come Thursday you won't be able to wallow in this anymore and before you know it, you'll be in the thick of your new era, and loving it!

I had a c-section for my 2nd child.
My eldest, was 3 at the time.
Sure, you feel mixed emotions.
Its natural.
BUT, before I had my 2nd child, I always talked with my eldest child (my daughter) about our relationship. So that, once baby brother came home from the hospital, she adapted fine.

You WILL love your 2nd child a ton, and your 1st child too.
Love is not finite.

Then, you just MAKE time, with your eldest child, just for you and her.

You WILL be able to give your kids 100% of yourself. It just is.
A Mommy, has boundless love and ability to give 101% of herself, to her kids.

Don't worry.

All the best,
Susan

Hugs, Mama. It's good that you know these are normal feelings. And you're right, it is the end of an era. But the future is bright. One of the best experiences of my life so far has been watching my two older children as they became the big brother/sister to a new little person. If I had any desire to have another child, that would be chief among the reasons why I would do it. Becoming a big sister or brother is a beautiful transformation.

I'll be thinking of you on Thursday! :+)

My DD was 4.5 when my 2nd was born, but I had the exact same thoughts.

Once my DS was born either I was too busy to think about it or just so in love w/ him...those feelings evaporated and I embraced my new family.

IDK...it might have been different for me because we had been waiting and waiting for our 2nd child...it will become like life pre-kid.
That is-you can't imagine life w/o your 2nd.

Congrats! Go have a special day w/ DD to cherish always! Right now!