L.F.
Wow. I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of person. I just want to say that you are doing a great job being an awesome steady person for your stepson to rely on. It is really nice to hear that you treat him the same as your bio kids. My advice on dealing with the mom is to set your limits and be clear. If she is routinely late, tell her you need him ready one hour before you really need him ready. That way you have a better chance of him being ready about on time than chronically late. Also, you can tell your stepson that NO one can dictate who he loves and its ok to love you if he wants to. There isn't anything that will take his love away from his mom, but he can love you just as much---he doesn't have to choose. Keep up the good work with him and remember that the more stable your home life is for him, the better off he will be. I would ask the dad to go to the school and fill out an emergency card just in case with your info and his so that they have another backup.....Hang in there!