M.P.
I have a similar situation. My daughter is 6 and my son is 3 months. We have just started at Super Nanny idea. The 3 of us sat down and made some house rules. We included my daughter in the process. Then we got a medium sized jar and some cotton balls. We explained that if she follows the rules she gets a cotton ball and if she doesn't follow the rules or breaks a rule she does not get a cotton ball. Then we proceeded to explain that once the jar is full, there will be a reward. I let my daughter with some guidance come up with the rewards. They are things, like going to Friendly's for lunch or a trip to the Library or movie night. Once she has filled the jar, she can then pick a from a hat one of the rewards. The cotton balls allow her to see and track her progress. If she wants a reward badly enough then maybe she will work on her behavior. Our rules include, making her bed, cleaning her room, getting a shower, eating her dinner within a 30 minute window, no yelling etc. I find that she is excited about the idea. Especially since, she came up with the rewards. Oh and our rewards do not include any toys.