5Yr Old Not Following Directions/not Listening

Put a treat at thee d of the chore. For example, tell her to put all of her toys in the chest. She doesn't do it. Walk her in the bedroom and you put all of the toys away. At the bottom of the pile was a multi-colored candy cane or some treat. Don't give in and give it to her. Let her know that she would have found it if she had obeyed.

Guidance, practice and modeling.
Instead of punishing, you offer up consequences for her behavior:
You may have breakfast as soon as your shoes are on.
I will read you two stories tonight if you get your PJs on NOW and brush your teeth.
It's time to clean up the kitchen, if you help me get it done quickly we'll have time for a treat after.
Sure it takes a little more effort on your part but you are parenting her after all, she needs you to teach her that doing what she needs to do ultimately benefits her.
Tie what she wants into what she needs to do FIRST and it will become a good habit.
Oh,and remain calm, look her in the eye and ask her to repeat it back. Barking orders at a five year old rarely works, and it just frustrates BOTH of you.

At this age, you have to make sure you have their attention before you
give a directive.
For example, I've seen many parents yell "get your shoes on, grab your
coat & an extra shirt" while the child is running to get to the bathroom in
time. You don't have their attention at this point. They are "one task
oriented" at this age.
So I make sure my child hears me by getting in front of them or near them
and say (so I don't have to yell later) "Please get your shoes on".
I try to give ONE directive at a time.
The most an adult can remember is 3 things & they are an adult.
Unsure about that, tell your hubby 6 things & see what he remembers.
The reason timeouts/taking toys away from her don't work is most likely
because she cannot correlate that with the missing behavior you want.
It's our job to teach in the right way to get the results we need (for
example, washing hands after using the bathroom or before eating etc.).
Directions need to be simple. Try using no more than 3 words (get your
shoes, get your coat, put that away etc).
Slow down, relax, gently guide, get their attention, don't expect more than
their age can provide & you will see a world of difference!

Part of the issue may be your method of delivery. All kids that age will have issues with this (listening, following directions), so the best thing for YOU to do, is make sure that your child is actually paying attention and focused on you before you give an instruction.

For most kids, physical touch works best. Touch them on the shoulder and wait for them to turn and LOOK at you. THEN, give your instruction.

Or, call them to you, and wait for them to come and give you their undivided attention before giving your instruction.

Kids don't "hear" you when you call out the them and give an instruction without first making sure they are actually listening to you.

Well, you know, not listening and not following directions is part of a five-year-old's job description, I think.

However, it might help if you backed up and went in baby steps for a while. "Marcie, you're having trouble listening to me. So we're going to play a game for a while. Whenever I call your name, no matter what you're doing, I want you to turn and LOOK AT ME. Every time. Your eyes have to catch mine!" Then really make a game of it. Call her when she's nearby; call her when she's in the next room. Shout it, whisper it, sing it, growl it, say it like a crocodile, say it like a monkey. Do it for a few days until she seems to be slipping into the habit.

Next, get her attention and say, "Marcie, I want you to do *this*, do it well, do it quickly, and then come right back to me." Give her a job to do. Make this another game. Give her fun things to do, really helpful things to do, silly things to do. Plan a little list in your head in advance so you don't have to stop and think too long. Don't make her wait for you.

When she's back in that habit, you can bring it up to a more five-year-old level.

I wasn't a good listener as a kid. Come to think of it, I'm not a terrific listener as an adult - unless I want to be. Maybe I should do this to myself.

Your daughter could be not following directions for a number of reasons. She could be not hearing you, physically. She could be distracted. She could be VERY distracted. She could be in her own happy little imaginary world. She could be still in TV-land, if she's been watching the tube. She could be not really understanding your directions - maybe you're saying too many instructions at once, or saying them too fast.

At any rate, it starts with being attentive to your voice. I'm sure you're a busy mama and this routine just takes more time, but it's good teaching in the long run, and it works better than yelling.

I agree 100% with Micky. Another thing I find helpful is gently touching your child on the shoulder and pointing at what you want them to do. Like point at the shoes to remind them or signal them to look at you and then make your request face to face. Try not to bark commands.

Honestly, my second son had a thing with not getting his shoes. I made his life and mine easier by just keeping an extra pair of shoes in the car.

Then try rewards and positive discipline. She's only 5. Have fun with her.

Make it a game. Most 8th graders I know don't listen, so expecting it from a 5 year old is probably expecting a little too much.

Depends on the directions and how I said them and how many times I had to say them and if she sassed back.

Try to break it down. Rather than "clean your room" try "put your toys in the bin". Make sure that you have the child's attention vs talking over the TV. I try to get down to her level and look her in the face if it's important vs calling out instructions from the other room.

If she isn't doing something like getting dressed for school, try setting a timer. If the child isn't ready then she goes to school as-is. If she fools around at the table, she may find herself hungry later because she didn't eat, and only healthy food (or leftovers) are an option. Since my DD could not seem to pay attention in the mornings, she lost the privilege of being able to turn on the TV for cartoons. Now she must be almost all ready (shoes not required) to watch one cartoon before school.

What natural consequences can you come up with? My DD is 5 and I rarely have her sit out anymore, as I find that cause and effect can be very good teachers.

When DD got up, got dressed and started to get her breakfast this week without needing my help, I praised her all over the place. I was very happy, even if she looked like she'd picked the first three things out of her drawer. I put a hoodie on her and sent her to school and let her be proud of herself.

A 5 year old is still learning so much and listening is one of those things they don't do well. Getting their attention is sometimes hard because they don't have the skills to turn off their brain suddenly. So getting the to realize you're trying to communicate with them can be challenging.

Start by always saying their name. If you say it with anger they are going to block it out. If you say it quietly you might be more results.

Giving them a simple command is important.

John, wash your hands please

John, come here please

John, your shoes are by your side, put them on please.

Getting their attention, telling them specifically what you want them to do, and giving them some time to process the whole thing is good.

Also making it fun can be a great way to get everything accomplished. If you need him to pick up his room try making the toy box an imaginary hoop and the toy a pretend basketball.

If he's doing things that annoy you and you're trying to get him to stop those behaviors then a different approach is needed. He's 5, I assume you can still pick him up. If he's acting out you pick him up, take him to the vehicle, and go home. If he's having a temper tantrum in the middle of Walmart call someone close by to come get him. Not someone he especially likes that will give him undivided attention and play, but someone who will make him sit quietly and do table top activities like color or do a puzzle. If it's fun he'll want to go back. SO making it not fun is important.

Then when your friend shows up you look your kiddo in the face and say
"you're going with XXXX and I'm going to finish my shopping. I'll see you when I get done".

Mamzita is dead on. The more time I put into guiding my 5 year old, the more she tries hard to listen and do what she needs to do. I do a lot of, "when we have done this and this, then we can do this." I also use a gentle form of Love and logic.

But I find being really proactive and getting her on board to solve issues is really helpful. So tell her, "X, I'm getting angry in the morning and yelling because we are having a hard time getting out of the house. Can you help me think of ways to make this part of our day more fun?"

Also, if your 5 year old isn't currently contributing to the household, it's essential you make a task list and get him/her involved. These things help them feel empowered, and this helps the overall relationship. You will hear some grumbling at first, but I simply explained that my daughter has to be responsible for her own things (putting away her clothes, helping stripped the bed and make it on wash day, etc) and that she has to contribute to general everyday household needs (she sets the table and sweeps up crumbs).

move away from punishment, and start seeing conflict as opportunities to guide and teach.

When was the last time he had a hearing test?

Can he follow 3 directions without a reminder? Meaning has he EVER been able to do the 3 things you asked him to do without forgetting part of it?

This is one of the signs of "kindergarten readiness". To be able to give 3 or more directions at once, and the child complete them without you having to repeat or remind them of the direction. This can take practice,

Sometimes, I would ask our daughter, "What did I just ask you to do?" Or "Tell me what I just said. Thank you. "

Example."Honey we are getting ready to go to the park. Please put away your toys, go and get a snack for us to share at the park from the kitchen and wait for me by the front door."

If he cannot do this, then start practicing this with him.

"I am cooking dinner. Please put the place mats on the table. Please tell dad dinner will be ready in 10 minutes and then make sure I put the salt and pepper on the table. Thank you. "

"Please get all of the dirty hanging towels from all of the bathrooms and carry them to the laundry room. Then please hang up new towels on the bathroom towel rods. Thank you. " (he does not have to hang them perfect)

I want to add, never yell across the house. Each person should go to the person they are speaking to.

This way you are sure they heard you and understand what you are saying. You can call his name, make sure he looks at you and then give the instruction.

Even in our tiny house.. Words are muffled, or we are not sure who is calling to who, there have been times we thought someone was in the house, but they actually were outside or in the bathroom with the door closed.