Listening in a 6 Year Old

Have him repeat every instruction you give him.

"In five minutes we need to clean up. Now, tell me, what are we going to do in five minutes?"

This way, I KNOW my son has heard me. He is six and also suffers some selective hearing. :)

We had problems until I learned how to deal with it.
First - get his attention - he CAN NOT HEAR YOU unless his attention is ON YOU.
Second - when you call him - have him COME TO YOU and stand in front of you and look you in the face (now you have his undivided attention).
Third - say what you want to say simply. 'Pick up your toys' is WAY too vague, non specific and open to many many different interpretations. You need to break the task down into simple one action steps "Put your books on their shelf" and once that is done "Put your cars in the toy box" and once that's done "Put your teddy bear on your bed", etc and so forth.
Forth - after you tell him each instruction, have him repeat what you just said. Is it clear, does he understand? Now's the time for him to ask for clarification if something does not make sense to him.

My Hubby thought I was crazy at first but when he saw how well it worked, he got with the program.
It took a little practice, but once we had it down we never had trouble with it again.

For the coach, it's a little harder - he's talking to a group and their attention is not always on him.
The rink acoustics are tough too - I have a hard time understanding what is being said.
In my son's taekwondo class, the directions are often shouted.
If they are not paying attention, the whole class does pushups.
When they are exhausted enough, they learn to pay attention.

On a side note, have your son's hearing tested.
Make sure he's ABLE to hear well.
If his ears are working, the problem is his attention (or lack thereof).

Additional:
Honestly, just turned 6 is a little young for some kids to be in activities for this very reason.
My son did not start taekwondo till he was 8 yrs old - he just didn't have the attention span to follow instructions when he was any younger.
Kids are different and some can pay attention younger and some older.
Finish the hockey season then take a break from it for a little while.
It's suppose to be a fun activity - not a source of potential punishment.
Could be he's just not at a stage when he's ready for it.
In a year or two he might do a whole lot better.

Look up "6 year old development."
You both also have to know and consider, the developmental age of your son. He is 6, and is not 12.
Parental expectations of a child, also has to be congruent per the age of the child.

I have a 6 year old son.
We do not punish my son by taking away his sports activity.

If you have a concern about your son's listening ability, then talk to the Pediatrician.

Also, how is your son in school? Is there a listening problem at school too? Most 6 year old boys are very busy.
Can you imagine, a classroom full of 6 year old boys?

This also is about parenting approaches.
How to approach a child, while at the same time, knowing... them. And their cues and personality etc.
Each kid is different.
What works for one may not work for another and visa versa.
So as a parent, think creatively about how to teach your son.

And, does the Hockey Coach, also have problems with your son's listening? How are all the other boys on the team who are the same age? Are they all the same age or older than your son?
All of this, also... makes a difference.

Make sure you have eye contact. One preschool teacher used to say "look at my nose." to the kids.

Some kids this age are not great with 2 or more step instruction. I agree with having him repeat back to you. The coach could have the child say 'yes, sir' to acknowledge he heard him. I just started my son in karate and I love that the kids have to say 'yes sir' to the instructor. It helps the kids focus.

It's the coaches job to manage his team players. The dad is undermining the coaches authority. So he can't get kiddo to mind because when coach tells kiddo to do something kiddo looks to dad to see if he has to mind. This is why parents don't go to gym classes or dance classes. The teacher/coach is the uber boss in this situation.

I would say to the boy "What did I just say to you". If he answers "Blah Blah Blah" then you know what he heard....lol.

If he can repeat the gist of what you said back to you then he heard you. If he can't do this well yet he needs practice. Work on this at home with simple things like time to take a bath, brush your teeth, etc...

One thing you can also do is ask "What are you supposed to be doing? Where are you supposed to be doing it? When are you supposed to be doing it?" This helps them process the information and plug it into their brains where it will be used better.

I found that a key word, before a punishment for not listening, helped my 3yo tremendously.

I would start by getting her attention and making sure she was listening. Then I would give her a simple instruction. If she didn't listen to what I told her then I disciplined her according to what we were doing (like leaving a park, or taking a toy away) and told her, "you do NOT ignore Mommy! You need to do what I tell you."

Now, all I have to do when she isn't listening is say, "______(name), are you IGNORING me?" and she will (usually) pop right up to do what she was asked. I don't even have to repeat my instructions, so I KNOW she heard me! Lol.

Maybe you should ask the coach how HE wants you to handle it when they are at practice. If he is coaching 6 year old hockey, I'm sure he has been dealing with it for a while... He may have some system in place that would be undermined by removing your son. Or maybe not. Either way, I would ask. :)

your hubby did the right thing-if hes not listening-make him stop and listen...

Go to him to speak to him. Same for him. He needs to go to you to speak with you or your husband. No yelling across the house.

Say his name and then give the instruction. "John, Please turn off the tv and go wash your hands. Then meet us in the dining room."

Or say his name and say. "John, listen with your ears" and give him the precise instruction.

You could also say, "please tell me what I just said".. When he repeats it correctly say, "Thank you".

Start off with one instruction.. Work up to about 4 instructions at one time.

In kinder, they like to know a child can be given 3 tasks at one time.

Ex -
"Time to go, Please pick out a snack, put on your coat and meet me by the front door."

Telling him, "clean your room".. is too much.. Guide him so that he can focus on one group. Put away all of the trucks. Put all of the dirty clothes in the hamper.

After he does follow an instruction, Thank him or praise him. "I like how you got ready so fast!" "Thank you for carrying the folded laundry to my room! " "I liked how you listened closely to the coach."

Also do this same thing with your husband. It will seem strange at first, but once your son realizes you are all doing this, it will be easy for him to follow your examples.

IMHO, not listening to the coach is something the coach needs to work out. Your hubby should not have interferred unless the coach asked him to get your child off the ice.

When my child didn't listen, I made sure to get her attention. Usually by getting down to her level and looking her directly in the eye while speaking to her in tone that made her know that I meant business. Then, whatever she was playing with when she decided to ignore me got put away. She did not get to go back to it. Natural consequence.

Just a thought - you do understand that there is a difference between hearing and listening. You know your child "heard" you, but is he really listening to what you're saying. Believe it or not listening is a skill. You can practice with him by having him sit with his back to you. Then you say something and see if he can repeat it or you give him a direction/instruction and see if he carries it out. The skill of listening as opposed to just hearing.