3Yr Old Who Wants to Be Fed like a Baby

The great thing about 3 year olds they change their minds quickly and aren't super consistant. If you feed him like a baby it proves you are listening and want to meet his needs while you work out another way to give him attention. New baby and recent move is hard on the boy. Don't freak out and think that you will need to feed him that way till he is in kindergarten. It will pass in a couple of days.

What my three year old constantly changes his mind about-- his name, his favorite toy, what shirt is ok to wear, whether he wants pull-ups or underwear today (and he is fully potty trained)-- I wouldn't worry, if you don't make it a big deal it goes away quick.

It's not uncommon for the older sibling to have diffiuclty adjusting to the changes of a new baby. They often can revert behaviors because they are missing the attention that they once got (especially if you are going from 1 to 2 kids in the family). Positive attention and time together are important. You could also try to set things like: getting him a special plate/silverware/cup of his favorit character or color that is just his or setting up time to eat together just the 2 of you, sharing something special that only "big kids" eat....good luck...

I too have two little boys. They are now 3 and 14 months (they are just two years two weeks apart). At first, my oldest would give me his sippy cup and ask me to feed it to him (like I was feeding the baby his bottle). I took those moments as an opportunity to sit with him on my lap and we talked about when he was a baby and mommy used to feed him his bottle. Sometimes I would take out the scrapbook I made of his first year and we would look at his baby pictures together (of course, at first, it took some convincing that the pictures were actually of him and NOT his brother :-)).

When my youngest starting eating rice cereal, my oldest wanted to be fed also. I just let him have a bite and that was the end of that!

My suggestion for you would be that when he says "mommy, feed me like a baby" you use that time to talk about when he was a baby and all the things you remember. (I find I start getting a little sentimental just about the time my son's tired of talking about it and has moved on . .. ha ha!) Then remind him he's your big boy now and ask if he can show you how big boys eat.

Hope this helps, A.!
Good luck!
- A.

When my oldest was three, I had twin boys. Yikes. I was worried about regression, so what I would do was to talk to the twins about their big brother. For example:

When I changed a diaper, I was heave a HUGE sigh and would say: "Baby, I sure wish you were a big boy like your brother Alek and could go poo poo in the potty because Mama doesn't like changing yucky diapers."

When I fed the twins, I would say: "Wow, babies, I really wish you were big boys and could feed yourselves like Alek."

When one of the twins started to fuss while I was doing something for or with Alek, I would say: "Now, baby, I know that you are very hungry (need your diaper changed, etc.) but you are just going to have to wait because I am reading your big brother a story."

This worked really well for us. Alek would tell the twins that he would "teach" them to use the potty when they got big. Sometimes he would even scold me for not feeding the babies right away and would "make" me stop reading the story, etc. I just made a huge point of focusing attention on all of the "big boy" things my oldest did. (My husband also helped with this. Sometimes he would announce that he needed to run an errand, like go to the hardware store, and would say that he was going to take "the boys." I'd quickly jump in and say, "Oh no, Daddy. The twins are little babies. They aren't big enough to go with you." He would agree and then we'd focus on the fact that big boys like Alek COULD do this.

My two grandchildren, ages 5 and 8 still sometimes ask to be fed. I feed them a few bites and then they take over again. Mt grandaughter likes to put her little finger in my mouth as she did as a baby. And she likes sometimes to be rocked like when she was a baby. Her brother who is five likes to be held like a baby.

I think it's just a way of making the transition from being a baby to being a big girl and boy. They will outgrow the need if the need is met. If you're not comfortable to treat thema s a baby then make sure to spend time with them just to cuddle and reassure them that they are still your "baby."

I tell my grandkids that no matter how old they get they will be their mother's baby abd ny baby just as I was still my mother's baby at 55. My brothers were also my mother's babies.

It's OK to want to be treated as a baby but I want to reassure them that they don't have to be treated as a baby to still be loved as they were when they were babies.

My philosophy is to give children what they ask for in terms of comfort and reassurance whenever it's possible to do so but to then let them know that they are just as loved and cared for without the baby talk, eating, being helpless. I pick them up, give them hugs, ask if I can rock them to give them this warm sort of relationship and reassurance. I will feed them a few bites when they ask but suggest to them that I know they can feed themselves. Let me see you do it. When they do feed themselves, at the end of the meal I give them a big hug.

When my 8 yo granddaughter sskes to be fed I suggest that once she's thru feeking herself I'd like to hold her for a little bit. Often she's
forgotten wanting to be babyed by time she's thru eating.

I think that sometimes adults as well as babies and children equate love with being taken care of. If feeding them helps them to feel more loved I think it's a good thing to do. At the same time we don't want them to get stuck at the baby stage and so we encourage them to do the things they can do and give them love in the form of hugs and praise when they succeed.

It's called regression...when a child reverts back to earlier behavior for comfort, attention, etc.

I'm not sure his regression is merely for attention. The attention you give the baby is DIFFERENT than the attention he gets, and that is probably making him uncomfortable.

I think the key is to make what HE gets to do more fun. An 8-month-old is only able to do so much, but a three-year-old has all sorts of possibilities. When he's sitting down to eat, emphasize the "big boy" status he has, and tell him once he's done with dinner you two can do something "big boy." If he asks you to feed him, tell him that's "baby," and if he won't eat like a "big boy," you won't be able to play whatever it is you've promised.

Helping him find comfort in his own skin is what he needs. This worked really well for potty training my son, but it also helped him put his own shoes on, dress himself, etc. Rewarding his independence with "big boy" activities (going to the park, playing ball outside, etc.) will help him find his new place and make the adjustment.

Good luck!

Hi A.,

I would like to suggest a couple things that might work. First of all, see if you can arrange some Mom and 3 Year Old time together, whether just walking around your neighborhood or getting an ice cream cone. While you're doing that, talk about all the neat things he can do that his brother can't do yet, such as walking around the block, feeding himself, riding a tricycle, even eating ice cream, sleeping in a big boy bed, whatever comes to mind.

My other suggestion would be to allow him a certain amount of time to act like a baby. Maybe set the timer for 30 minutes and indulge him in it. Set him in his bed for a pretend nap, talk baby talk to him, carry him around swadled in a blanket, etc. But then let him know when the timer goes off, he has to be a big boy again. That way he can still have his "baby" time, which I think he'll grow out of soon enough, especially if you really stick to baby things...like none of his toys, just brother's toys and having to lay down for a nap.

I hope these ideas will help - not that it will immediately help with the feeding part, but at least maybe it's a start.

M.

It is just another power struggle, and so I don't think you need to send him to bed without dinner, just don't feed him, but still offer him dinner and help cutting it up, then he can eat what is on his plate, and when my toddler does this, I just leave the plate on the counter and if she gets hungry (within a certain time frame) her dinner will be waiting for her. They won't starve...it is essentially their choice. Giving them choices that you design gives them the sense that they are part of the decision making process and makes them feel important. Maybe this will solve your problem! Good luck to you!

all great ideas, just want to agree, go ahead and feed him like a baby! and talk with him about his feelings. it's hard being a big brother, many conflicting feelings about being grownup and being a baby, back and forth, you can help him navigate this transition by following his lead, allowing him to be a baby when that is what he needs, and encouraging and supporting his growing up when that is what he needs. good for you that you don't want to "become your dad"! also the fact that you have moved several times, consider that with all the changes he's going through, he needs lots of reassurance that it's ok for him to have needs and his needs are important.

Yes, your big boy wants the baby attention. I would set a day when he can be a baby. I would start from the morning with dressing up, changing, feeding, baby talk and etc. You need to give him a real baby day taking all the privileges that the big boy has including walking by him-self and not talking. The babies don't watch TV, play in a crib with baby toys, carring him around and etc. I'm sure that by noon he will decide to be a big boy again. Good luck!

Compromize and snuggle the boy. He is feeling very displaced, perhaps jealous amd insecure. This might effect the feelings that he has toward his sibling for the rest of his life. How do I know? I was just like your son and felt rejected and displaced and no attention was paid to my feelings.

You will need to make sure that he feels that he has a special place in the family as a big boy.

Hi A.,
My oldest did the same thing... wanted me to carry her like a baby, feed her like a baby, etc. I would play along for a bite or two and then tell her it was her turn and give her lots of praise for doing it herself. I also had her help me feed the baby. I was a short lived phase and she is totally over it now.
She is currently being a doggy and occcasionaly I need to call her Riley Dog (her name is Olivia). I love her play acting and I go along with it. As long as it's not hurting any one or destroying something I let the creativity flow!
MJ

Not sure if this will work for you, but when I started babysitting, my daughter had a hard time with me feeding the baby babyfood. She wanted to be fed too, like the baby. I told her that babies eat babyfood and would she like to eat baby food? She said yes, so I gave her a spoonful of rice cereal with peas and she hated it. Of course, she asked me again the next day, so I gave her the same food again and she hated it. And then she said, no momma, me eat big girl. Never had the problem again.
So, you can try doing that and maybe he will realize he really doesn't want to eat like a baby.

I've heard before to talk up the things that he can do that the baby can't do.

Hi - my first son is almost 5 and has gone through some of that baby stuff since his brother came along. Wants to be held on my lap, wanted to drink out of a sippy cup again, wanting baby "treatment" I guess. I think it is just a phase and it will pass. They see how much attention the baby gets and want to have that back again. I just tried to remind my older one that he is a big boy now and that there are lots of things that big boys can do that baby's cant and why would he want to be a baby again...just some thoughts!

A.,

Have you tried having him "show" his baby brother how to eat like a big boy AND have him help feed the younger brother?

Good luck,

T.

I hear that this is typical when a new baby is on the scene. Try playing up what a great big brother he is. Have him get you the wipes or help change his brother. Sit him in a BIG chair and show him that babies have to be spoon fed, but you know that he is a big boy and big boys feed themselves. If you ignore the fact he is not eating right away, let him think about it. Sometimes when he realizes that he can't get his way he will do it himself. Especially if he is hungry. I hope this works for you. Good luck.

Hi! My daughter is now 4 and I remember her going through a phase like that when I my second one was born. She wanted to talk like a baby, eat like a baby and hold her like a baby. We just kept telling her that we like the "big girl Sophie" not the "baby Sophie". We told her that "big girl Sophie" can do so many things by herself. We explained to her what babies can't do. Eventually, she stopped doing thoese "baby acts" and we just kept complementing her on her being the "big girl"! I hope this helps.