My Son Wants to Be Babied at Mealtime

Baby him! He'll get over it quicker. My daughter (just 2) is the same way. I also have a 10 month old boy. She wants to eat in the highchair sometimes. I let her and then we move on. She has recently started using baby spoons again, what ever she needs to do and then we move on.

He'll eat if he is hungry. He may want to be babied at mealtime and he plays with his food, well let him. He won't starve to death and once he figures out that you're not playing his game, he'll eat. The fact that your babies are so close has a lot to do with his behavior. He's still a baby, too and is finding ways to have your attention. Children are funny little creatures..they will do almost anything to get your attention whether it is a good or bad response. They're really smart and they feel things early on and he probably just needs a little mommy and me time..just the two of you.
I had a 2 1/2 year old when my twins were born and I can tell you from experience that the older child will act out if they don't get special time with mommy.
Best of luck to you...

Hi! My 3yr old does/did the same since Baby Brother started table food. Fortunately, we are a 2-parent household and my husband and I often just took turns feeding her when this happened. It usually goes in spurts and seems to be just a need for a little extra pampering. After we showed her that we would 'spoon feed' her she backed off. Also, if we load the spoon she has to eat what we put on it. If she loads the spoon, she gets to choose from what's on her plate. Another little tip is to feed the first couple bites and then say "Your Turn!". My guess is that your 20month old will get into the fierce 'By Myself' stage pretty soon and you'll be wishing for the days when he wanted you to feed him. Good Luck!

I will probably get some flack for this but I have three children, the oldest is 4 and the youngest is not quite 6 months. My 2 year likes me to feed her like I do the baby on occasion. I do it. It seems like a lot of stages pass. Now with that said, because she doesn't want me to feed her every meal, I don't sweat it. Of course if your 20 month old won't eat at all unless you feed him, that will be tricky and I really don't have a "fix-all" solution.

The other thing to remember is from age 18 months to 3 years old, most kids go through a spat where they are horrible eaters. Just try to be consistant about having scheduled meals and snacks and don't worry too much. I have found that the food thing is usually not worth a big fight. They'll eat but not if it becomes a power struggle.

What you have is a classic case of sibling rivalry/jealousy. He was the only baby in the house and he was 'special', got lots of mom's attention (feeding, changing his diaper, etc.) and now he gets less and the 'new' baby gets 'all' the attention.

Try feeding your baby half an hour to an hour before the rest of the family eats, then let the baby play in the playpen or nap while the rest of the family eats. Shower your older one with compliments when he takes a bite of his food. Praise him for being 'such a big boy', 'you eat like daddy does', etc. You'll see a change in him, once he is eating regularly slowly wean him off of the constant praise. Try to make sure when you interact with your oldest, you are not distracted by the younger one or the older one's attitude could get much worse.

Good luck.

S.

Your son's eating changes definitely sound like a "phase". Be consistient with the behavior you would like to see. He will not starve or even suffer nutritionally if he doesn't eat normally for a few days. During mealtimes, gently and consistiently remind him of the behavior you want. For example, "It's lunch time. Here is your food. Show me what a big boy you are eating all on your own." Many other variations would apply here. Another idea is to make the meal fun by making the food attractive on the plate. For example, I often make a "smiley face sandwich" with a quarter sandwich for each eye, carrots for hair and fruit for the nose and mouth. Then you can play a game with what part he is eating. Hope that helps.

Perhaps by including your 20 month old in some of the meal prep...yes, he's old enough to "get the spoon for brother" put brother's bib on the table" with lots of praise for helping mom. The other idea might be to give him more choices at his mealtime..."do you want applesauce or peaches for lunch?" "Do you want the big spoon or the little one?" by involving him in the process, he might feel like he is getting some attention and won't need to vie for it when you are feeding brother. The other option is to just provide lots of healthy choice finger foods and let him choose which he will do eventually.

Well you could ask him to be the big brother a feed him 3 bits becouse he is the big brother while you go get a napkin or water . It will give him a min. To try . Or ask him to show brother how to eat . ?? Barb

when Danny is asleep, spend extra time with Zack doing big boy things feeding himself should be included, like maby start off witt ice cream, or one of his favorite foods . I do beleive the xtra time will work wonders for both of you.

This is not uncommon and can be helped but telling him what a big boy he is and getting him to help in little ways with the baby. Also find thing to do with him that only a "big boy" can do so he know that even if he is not the only one he does have a special place that the baby can not fill.

Hi V.,
My thought is, let him feed himself. I realize he plays with his food while you feed his brother, but when he gets hungry enough, he should eat. It may take a day, but if you give in, the cycle will continue.
Hope this helps,
C.

My son was doing that too a few years ago, in response to little brother joining us at the table - I would just feed him with the fork and indulge him - I would also tease him gently by saying I had another "baby", etc. He eventually stopped - it was kinda cute to me, but my husband hated it!

I would make sure he's getting enough mommy and me time. ANd play up the fact that babies are fed, but he's a big boy. He will move on in time, and sometimes it is best to indulge them a bit, IMO. Good luck!

Don't know if this will work or not, but I had a 4 year old who wanted me to "feed" her all the time. I finally told her that if you wanted to act like a baby, you got the whole package: no "big kid" treats like candy, back to the crib, naps every day, and I would blend up her food like babyfood. Diapers might also be an option. (While it was a bit of an empty threat--we only have 1 crib after all!--I planned on actually implementing some of it if necessary, starting with blending up her dinner and taking away other big kid privileges.) For her, though, the discussion was enough. She understood that big kids had a lot of privileges that went along with having to feed yourself and she chose the privileges. Just make sure you don't phrase it like a threat. Just say, oh great, it would be fun to have another baby in the house. It might not be fun for you to be a baby though. This is what babies have to do, and what they can't do.... Are you sure that's what you want?

As noted though, my daughter was 4 and way past being fed. Your son is quite a bit younger. Part of his regression, as was mentioned by others, is probably because he sees the attention the baby gets, etc. So, factor that in, as well as factoring in how much he understands. This method may work better for an older child. This poor youngster's not even 2 yet. :)

Good luck!

Hello, I am a grandmother. My daughter had a similar problem and she let the big brother help to feed little brother and he felt more grown up and settle back to feeding him self so he would be able to help feed his little brother