Hello Moms,
I welcome all advice, ideas, suggestions, or personal stories.
My almost 4 year old daughter has been fully potty trained since she was 20 months old with no accidents. Since the birth of her new baby brother 6 months ago, she's been having little accidents throughout the day. Not everyday but pretty often. Some days she goes through like 5-7 pairs of panties. I wouldn't even call them accidents because she catches it; just a little late. It's like she's so involved with what she's doing, she puts a bathroom break off until she can't hold it anymore.
Since I know it's common for children to regress in one or more area(s) when a new sibling arrives, I haven't scolded or shamed her in any way. I've praised her and rewarded her with stickers when she goes on time. I also put her on the potty when appropiate, but then she just fights me and says she doesn't have to go.
She'll do great for a while and then it will start again. Not sure what's going on. Is it just the age maybe? Should I get tougher or try another option with punishment or a take away system? I'm running out of ideas and starting to get frustrated inside.
Thanks in advance!
Thanks Mamas for sharing your stories and advice! I will continue to work with her on going within a timely manner. As before, I don't think it's regression from the birth of my son 6 months ago. Or, possibly that's what triggered this potty behavior. I also plan to talk to her ped about a possible UTI. That never occured to me before and I'd like to rule that out. It sounds like it's an age/phase issue and some firmer discipline is needed. Thanks again! Wish me luck.
S.
I agree with the other posts...needing a little nudging about using the potty and needing to know she is loved like everyone else. Or she could have a bladder infection so she holds as long as possible before she goes. Real cranberry juice with no high fructose added will help. Good Luck.
J.
many children also do this because they are constipated.
Hello
could be attention getting
or have the doctor check her spine, my niece tinkled alot and we thought it was because she was energetic and not wanting to take the time. 2 years later, for another reason, she saw a chiropractor and he found that her spine was a little off which meant she had no control over it
good luck
Hi S.~
My 5yr old just started doing the same exact thing. I've noticed it's not his way of regressing, it just appears that he is too involved in something & really doesn't want to walk away from it. He's usually working on a puzzle or project, or watching a movie. I have to convince him that whatever he is doing will remain the same as it is prior. I've been giving him a reward sticker when he goes every day with no accidents/dribbles. If he goes all week with no accidents, he gets to have something special on the weekend.
Good luck & I hope this helps.
I'm sure it will be fine with your daughter!
J.
Hello S. - I have also had this happen to me recently with my 5 year old. As others have said, it seems like she is so involved in what she is doing that she can not tear herself away. I have an 18month old so I do not think is has anything to do with that since this is a problem we have only seen in the past month or two. I did take her to her pediatrician who did a urinalysis (normal)to ensure that there was not something else going on. We are currently working with a reward system (success about 50% of the time. I watch for the dance, but will get conflicting information from my daughter. I feel that she goes just a few drops to relieve the pressure, we are not going through 5 prs of undies, butit worries me just the same.
For example, last night we were at the bears game and she and I were standing in line for popcorn. She was jumping all over and I kept asking her if she needed to go (asked about 8-10 times in 15 min in line) repeatedly was told no and that she was dancing (there were some drummers that we could hear). After getting the popcorn, I asked and she said no and we returned to our seats. When in the car and getting pjs on for our trip home, she told me that she had had an accident when we were standing in line and that she did not want to get out of line to go. Please let me know if you find anything that works for you.
M.
It doesn't sound like regressing--if it was she'd be wanting to wear diapers or something much more babyish---it sounds like she's a typical 4 year old who is too darn involved to bother with going to the bathroom. Our 7 year old and 5 year old both still hold it until their eyes almost float. The other night the 5 year old was so intent on watching the older one draw a picture that she pooped her pants. She also won't take the time to wipe her bum once she does go to the bathroom --because it takes soooooo long----- that we end up with wet or poopy undies quite often. It's just a phase...I'm not even sure it's necessary to do the rewards. We've found that us being tuned in to "the potty dance" and telling her to go NOW is the best. We promise the kids no one will touch their stuff while they go potty. I'm all for positive parenting but sometimes a firm "stop what you are doing and go to the bathroom now" is the way to go. Good luck!
You might try getting her very involved in being the big sister by having her help you diaper the baby (like have her bring the diaper) and talk about how proud of her you are that she uses the potty. She might just need a little more reassurance of her place in the family. Make sure to spend lots of one on one time with her. I hope that helps! Good luck mama!
Call the pediatriacian and tell them what is going on. let them decide if they need to see your daughter or not. It may or it may not be a sign of a medical condition. Do not take chances with you child's health.
It may be a little regression attention thing or it could just be she does get so focused on play that it is not her priority. As long as she is not in pain, urine does not have a pungent odor and is clear yellow, not dark or have an odd smell. Try putting her on the potty every 1/2 to 45 minutes to just "try". No punishment, just say that you want her to be dry and be able to play more without having to change her panties. I know this would involve alot of time, but the positive attention and opportunity to make sure it is nothing more make solve alot. It would take alot less time then the panty change and doing the laundry.
S.,
Hi! I have a princess who is three and a little sweetheart (boy) who is five and had the same potty/accident issues with both of them that you described. I,too, tried stickers, rewards, etc. The one thing that finally worked after about 6 weeks of "accidents" was very slight punishment...such as a short time out, or taking away a beloved toy or blanket for a while (15 minutes). They had both been potty trained for a long time before the accidents started, so I knew they knew how and when to go. Like you said about your daughter, they became so engrossed in what they were doing that they didn't want to stop playing or watching whatever they were involved in. Good luck! Sounds like you are doing a great job!
L.
I noticed the same problem with my daughter, a few months before she turned 4, there was no addition to the family or changes in our routine, but she would have accidents because she would not go to the bathroom when she needed to. It is like your situtation that she is too busy to go, she i did not scold her but I sat her down and explained that we go when we have to and i try and remind her to go, I can notice when the dance starts even before it is too late and I ask her to go, so you may just want to keep talking to her in a nice way saying that panties stay dry and she is a big girl and she should go on the potty and the toys will still be there and she can stop real quick to go, my daughter has gotten a little better in the accidents, but there are always some close calls that she makes it in the nic of time. Good Luck, hopefully it is just a phase.
I have the same problem with my son. He is 3 and "leaks" at least once most days. The days he has the most trouble are days when he is drinking too much or when he is very busy or intent on his own activity. I usually call out "potty break" to remind him and like you take him and make him try. He almost always goes. If you're sure she needs to go, taking her is appropriate.
I have read that making them change their own wet clothes helps. Does she change herself or do you do it for her? If you do it, I would try having her do it on her own.
It sounds like regression like you said, but if it continues, I would double check with the doctor incase she has a UTI.
For sure, she need to be checked to see if she has a urinary tract infection, which could just be a coincidence in terms of its timing (right after baby arrived). If that proves negative, then you might find some of the behavioral suggestions quite helpful. Good luck to you.
This happened to our little girl around the age of 4 as well (at 4 and a half I can say it is over now - thank goodness). SHe really was too involved most of the time like everyone else said, but it was also plain stubborness. If I asked her if she needed to go she would say no, but would ultimately have an accident of leaking too. We went through tons of underwear. I tried putting her on the potty (she'd have a fit sometimes insisting she did not have to go) but it really had to be on her own terms. We finally comprimised on "sit and count to 10 two times - just to try." As she got a bit older we would simply talk about taking care of ourselves and our bodies like a big girl. No one thing worked like a charm, but all of them put together over a month or two seemed to help her learn when to stop and go. Good luck.
