My 28 Month Old Refuses to Use the Potty!

Updated on January 21, 2007
C.B. asks from Bonita Springs, FL
11 answers

My 28 month old was fully potty trained before she was 2 years old. We had a new baby 3 days after she turned 2. Now she will not use the potty! She will sit on the potty, get up walk out into the hallway and pee???? I don't know what happened! I give her so much attention! I breastfeed but other than that my 28 month old gets all of my attention. She completely loves her baby sister and I have not seen any jealousy issues. I've tried making her sit there, wearing only panties in the house, pull-ups, even being naked (in the house of course) We bought potty Elmo, and videos about going potty. I am at a loss for what to do? I ask her if she has to potty every 30 minutes or so.... help please!

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L.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

She's going through a lot and sounds like you're pretty in tune, giving her extra attention. I would let her choose if she wants to wear a diaper or big girl panties. She might respond to having a little control over things right now. Try and be supportive if she has an accident but maybe keep her involved in the clean up as needed. It could take a little time to get her back on track.

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K.P.

answers from Naples on

Hey Cathy, how are you? I was going through my mamasaurce e-mails and I saw your name. So of course I had to write you. What I did with Christopher, I bribed him. Nothing bad, but I did it with m&ms and toys. Every time he went he would get a prize, and of course we would do the potty dance. But of course he didn't have a sibling so I don't know how it would work with one. I hope this helps. Love ya K.

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P.R.

answers from Orlando on

Sounds like some regression possibly. Have you put her in the role of mommy's helper. You could instill that level of responsibility in her. That could help with the regression. I wouldn't overcompensate because you need to bond with your new child as well. Maybe coming up with little things for her to do and bringing her into the picture with bonding with the baby could be good. I went through some depression when I had my second son, I had to adjust to the new dynamic. When I created more "we" time, instead of me& older son then me &baby time, it started to help me get used to the new dynamic of things.

Pam

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A.F.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi , C. ...
This is very frustrating , I am sure. I really don't know exactly what to suggest , but I do know it's common for potty habits to turn bad once a new baby is born. I have a friend whose sister is in the exact same boat as you , and she put her daughter back in diapers. But , once you've worked so hard to get them trained , I'm not sure if that's sending the right message , you know ? It's like giving up ...
Have you tried using a reward system , like a marble jar or sticker chart ?
I hope you find someting that will help re-motivate her.
Best of luck , A.

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A.T.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi C.,
My mom says I did the same thing when my sister was born, we are 18 months apart. She says she just continued to tell me big girls go to pottys and babies use pampers. Eventually I stopped.
Angel

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

Hey, sounds alot like what happened at my house. I have a three year old daughter. We recently had a new baby who is about a month old and my daughter started going potty in her undies and her bed. She has been fully potty trained for months now. We did it early before the baby so there wouldn't be problems. we also have had no jealousy issues that I was aware of. My daughter also started talking giberish which is out of her line since she has been speaking sentences for months now. I tried spending more time with her but as you know, the baby takes alot of time up. My solution: I sat in bed with my daughter one night before she went to sleep and talked to her for about ten minutes. i was worried nothing was getting through because she just sat there but at the end when i said goodnight, she hugged me so tight and just held on for minutes which felt like hours. She said i love you and went to sleep, haven't had a problem since. I spoke to her about the baby needing more attention b/c he can't do anyhting on his own and that i needed her help to teach him everyhting he needs to know. I must have said i love you 25 times and that she was my best girl. This works because i have a son and daughter so i tell her she's my favorite girl. I let her know how important she was and that she's such a wonderful big sister. all that kinda stuff. We have been on a week now with no problems. I hope this works for you. You never know what these kids are thinking.

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H.J.

answers from Orlando on

I don't think it's a matter of attention, it's probably how she's is just reacting to the change inthe family with the new baby. Two year olds can't verbally tell you how they are feeling so it comes out in there behavior. I know with my son, the harder I tried with the potty training issue, the more he would resist. Maybe just let her go back to wearing diapers for a little while until she gets the hang of what it means to be a big sister. It works alot better when they think that it's THEIR idea!! Good luck.

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G.W.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

It could be her own way of regressing( I hope I spelled that right) I have a 3 year old son, and he was completly potty trained. After his sister was born, he went backwards a little bit. The doctor said it was his was of regressing, wanting to fell like he was still the baby of the family. He said refure to him, as a big boy. It really helped, I started telling him and showing him that only baby's going in a diaper, and big boys go on the toilet, and in a few months he was right back to going on the toilet. It was very furstrating for a while, because he was having accidents, and wanting to wear a diaper, like his baby sister. But we showed him, that only baby's do that, and he didn't want to be a baby he wanted to be a big boy. So I hope this helps.

sincerely
G.

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B.F.

answers from Fort Myers on

I've found that children will go when they are ready. My daughter started at 20 months, and then didn't want to go near the potty again! So i waited and always talked about it, and at 2.5 yrs old, it was like a switch went on. Don't stress out-keep her in diapers for a few more months and she will start again when she is ready. Good luck!

K.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

just keep re-enforcing her good behavior with good reactions, and IGNORE the bad behavior(to a degree). If she doesnt get attention from it, she'll like the attention she gets when she does go in the potty.

With my oldest daughter...first of all I kept the little potty in the living room.
and she NEVER wore pullups, panties only.
If she peed on the floor, she had to go "help" clean it up.
(not really, but she thought she was helping, like getting the towels etc.)
i just kept an eye on her, and if she seems like she wanted to dissapear, it meant she had to do #2, i would snatch her up, get her a book and/or a movie and put her little butt on the potty till she went.
It literally took a couple weeks, of course their were accidents, but the idea was there, and she TRIED to make it. I never really did the movies or books, except if we saw kids on tv or in books, i would say, "see this little girl, shes big and she doesnt wear diapers!" ETC.
sorry so long, good luck! and relax it'll happen!

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S.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

Give her a job of refilling the toilet paper roll, then she can use it when she is ont eh potty. I did a reward chart. first i used it for when she went pee, she got a sticker. then when she got he hang of that, i put it away. when she was having trouble pooping in the potty, i used the chart for that. it is a great temporary fix.
S.

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