13 Yr Old Hates Me??

She's 13. She's supposed to hate you right now. She'll grow out of it.
When my daughter was that age and told me she hated me, I told her that if I were in her shoes, I would probably hate me too, and to let me know when she was over it.

If my kids told me that, I'd shrug my shoulders, tell them that I must be doing my job well, and walk away.
Nothing gets them more riled up than no real reaction.
:)

You should embrace it.

If your 13 year old didn't hate you, I would be worried they weren't developing properly. Or, that you weren't being a good parent.

She doesn't hate you. She's a teen and is acting like one. Hang in there. It's hard.

She doesn't hate you. She says it and acts like it because she knows it hurts you, plain and simple. You can't be a wilting flower about this. Stand tall. If she talks nasty to you, if she says she "hates you", demand she never say it again. It's one thing to be angry at you for not getting her own way but she is never to speak to you in such an ugly way, period. Demand it. If she's being disrespectful then she needs punishment by having things taken away. If she's just generally unhappy with you then fine, but she's not to lash out in any way. Have a sit down and offer to hear her side of whatever is up her butt with the understanding that she must hear your rebuttal. She must understand that you are a parent, and ask her if she were the parent what would she do. Don't let her know this bothers you. Many kids go through this and it will pass. Teenagers!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Mad:

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Sorry - that's normal!! Teenager. What do you say when she says it? I'm sorry you feel that way. I love you. I am doing what I feel is RIGHT FOR YOU.

To me? This means you are doing your "job" as a mom right - that you are setting boundaries and rules and she doesn't like it.

DO NOT fight with her over it. DO NOT cry over it with her. Tell her you are sorry she feels that way and press on. You keep doing what you are doing and DO NOT get swayed by her hormones and peer pressure.

Keep COMMUNICATING WITH HER...set the example for your other children and DO NOT fight with her over this. Stick to the rules. Stick to the boundaries. KEEP YOUR HEAD and your tongue. it's EASY to lash back and say something mean - it will NOT help the situation.

Stay strong MAMA!!!

She's 13. Emotions ebb and flow like the tides. This is normal. Next week she'll love you. This is the age of having "boyfriends" for a week, and BFF's for a month. Don't worry about it. Just keep on loving her, and don't push too hard to please her or try to make her not "hate" you.

You're the adult here. Remember what it was like to be 13...

Developmentally, this is absolutely normal for her age. It's a sign that she's maturing apace with her peers, and that means you've done everything right. Honestly, if she DIDN'T "hate" you at 13, at least occasionally, that'd be a cause for concern.

Please just pick your head up, proceed with the business of being a parent, and do NOT take this personally. You will win her endless respect and admiration in the end by being her rock, not by being swayed by the tempests of the teen years.

Well my 9 year old hates me as of yesterday, so welcome to the club :)

Yep, that sounds like something a 13 year old would say. She's just feeling misunderstood, or she's mad because you said no to something. Give her some time to cool down. Then go to her and see if she's ready to talk. Be prepared to really listen to what she needs to say. Don't give in just to make her happy. But it is ok to reconsider if she makes a really good point. For the most part, just listen.

Honestly, their hormones are surging and they just get this way for awhile.
My 14 yr old normally sweet funny smart son is starting in with the periodic surliness and will sometimes argue over nothing - the back talking is like nothing that's ever come out of his mouth before.
Does it upset me?
Sometimes.
To me it just means he needs some hard work to keep him busy and help him burn off his moodiness.
In taekwondo, if the class is acting up, the Master will have the kids run laps and doing push ups till they are too tired to act up.
It works.
So our son will be washing the front porch today.
He'll need a hose, a ladder, a soft scrub brush, and he can scrub and rinse till it's clean and there's no mildew left on the vinyl siding.
Next time he acts up he can do the same for the back porch.
And after that the siding on the whole north side of the house could use some cleaning too.
Try your best not to get caught up in your daughters moodiness.
It's a developmental stage, so don't take it personally even though sometimes they know just what buttons of yours to push.
Have her go clean out the car inside and out.

I've heard it said that if your teenager hates you, you are doing something right!

There really isn't much to do. You can't change the way she feels and she feels that way because you have boundaries and make her stick to them. She may also be angry because her father is away and you are the only person she has to take it out on.

I would try to ignore it as much as possible and just carry on as her loving mom.

Hmm.... sounds like you are doing a pretty good job, then....

Just curious.... is it your job to be her friend, or her parent? A parent is one who sets boundaries and guidelines, designed to help her mature properly.... and, in doing so, will invariably get that comment of "I hate you!" because you won't let her do something that "everyone else gets to do", or whatever the current "hate reason" may be....

A friend, on the other hand, may very well be a partner in crime for activities that they FEEL they are mature enough to handle....

Don't worry about it too much.... yes, she says it because she knows it will hurt......

As others have said, give her time to cool off, and then listen... and I mean REALLY listen... let her say what is bothering you, and then you two discuss the issue..... no lectures about how she isn't old enough, or stuff like that.

I like what someone else says... ask her, if SHE were the parent, what would she really do? Not that it will change your mind any... but at least you are listening to her side.

Interesting first question. Good luck.

Your question seems kind of troll-ish. If this is a real question, I suggest you include more details in your question.

"Grew" a hatred?