13 Year Old Daughter Wants to Go to a Concert

i would definitely let her go. this is a big deal, and a great rite of passage for a teenager. the ideal scenario would be a group of friends with one parent to be an unobtrusive chaperone. but i would let a responsible 13 year old go with a group of responsible friends if the venue was reasonably small.
khairete
S.

Never on a school night.
If it wasn't on a school night, I'd go with her.
"It's like a once in a life time chance" to go to a concert?
What's her life expectancy, 14?
Sheesh - she's got till she's 97 and beyond to go to concerts.

I would go with her. There's no way I'd let her go on her own, but if it's a band you approve of, make it a mom-daughter date. Maybe let her take a friend with you.

Heck yes! My husband and I have known each other since we were 13 and attended the most awesome all day outdoor concert "back in the day".

At that time you were allowed to take your own a cooler and food.
We saw Peter Frampton, Santana and Three dog night along with a ton of other bands.. We have never forgotten all of that.

Just remind her," I know I can trust you to continue to follow our rules."
"If you want me to pick you up for any reason just call."

i think some people are assuming college party ...i;ve been to concerts at colleges and they are completely fine, you're going to drop her off before and pick her up after, and she really likes the bands as do the people there so ussually everyones distracted bby the music to get into trouble, and if they are all age concerts then obviusly the venue is prepared for teens to come..and if its ALL AGES NO ALCOHOL will be permitted and anyone caught will be kicked out, I think people are confusing all age shows with 21 and over shows. I say let her go, if you get too strict you're setting her up for sneaking around, its better to both trust eachother, give her rules, but don't overcroud her, it sounds like you're doing good, she came to you and is waiting for you to decide instead of sneaking around or whining about it. Also if she wanted to drink or do drugs like some people are saying may happen I'm sure she would do it on a day you weren't picking her up and dropping her off! I went to tons of shows and never touched any drug in my life!

I think that at least one parent should go inside with them and stay. Way to many older guys there to leave a group of 13 year olds unattended. In a crowd like that, it's not about what your daughter and her friends will do, but what others will do to them. I recall many a concert (when I was older and a parent wasn't with is) where older guys would be creeping on me and my friends and you'd be standing there and suddenly some strangers hand is groping you or whatever. Ick!

I went to a lot of concerts when I was in grades 6-8 and a mom always went. Usually it was my mom, and usually each child paid for her own ticket (or her parents paid) and we all split the cost of the adult ticket. We went to big shows - Aerosmith, Guns 'n' Roses, Rolling Stones, Poison, Bon Jovi (all those 80s hair bands lol) - and sometimes my mom would be appalled by the language and antics but overall, she was pretty cool with it. It's one of the things I most appreciate about her, as this was definitely not her comfort zone and being "cool mom" was not her thing at all! I didn't go to concerts without a parent until maybe 10th grade. So let her go, but go with her and stay nearby. If it's open seating, you don't have to literally be next to them at all times but do always have them in your eyesight. Have fun!

As long as she hasn't been doing things that make you question trusting her, then yes, I would let her go. I would have a talk with her beforehand about concerts and what I did and did not expect of her and her behavior and that she had to meet me immediately after the show. Let her know that you understand she's growing up and becoming a young woman, and that her conduct in situations like this where you are completely trusting her affects everything she'll want to do in the future!

Yes, yes, yes, let her go! I saw my first concert at a college when I was 11 (it was the group Boston--still one of the best concerts I've ever been to). Yes, it was back in the 70s and people were passing joints around, but even stoned college students were decent enough not to offer pot to my friends and me. Besides, the stink turned me off drugs for life. Seriously. I went to all sorts of concerts after that, and my friends and I never misbehaved or got in trouble. We were just happy to get to go see the bands.

Growing up in a small college town, there wasn't much else to do, and we got the most amazing bands coming through because we were an easy distance from three major cities. I think other people have given you some great suggestions: that she can call you to pick her up if she needs you, that you tell her how she behaves at this event will show you how much you can depend on her good sense when it comes to other events, and that she stick with her friends at all times. (Surely she has one or two you would trust her to hang with and not get in trouble.) It's a great opportunity for her, even if it will keep her out very late on a school night.

She will appreciate it and remember it forever, I promise you. :)

At 13, with a group and a cell phone, I would let her go.

I think it's a great opportunity.

Get a group of girls together, arrange a safe drop-off and pick-up place, make sure they have their cells, tell them they have to stay together when going to the bathroom etc.

Hopefully you've taught your 13 year old what to do if a guy puts his hands on her, as mentioned below.

Then drop them off and worry until you pick them up.

That's what I did. :)

(Or, you can go with them.)

Edited: What a GREAT idea from JB to have the other kids' parents split the cost of an adult ticket! LOVE that idea...I would feel so much better knowing there was an adult around.
I would want her to have fun and take her to the concert. It's a special event, not an every night thing, so I wouldn't have a problem with the time or the fact that it's a concert. Some of my favorite memories are young at concerts! But not knowing who the bands are (meaning who the crowd is), I don't know if you could drop her off or go with her. (Thinking the difference, in old people terms, like....me at that age: many of my friends loved New Kids on the Block or Debbie Gibson. My favorite bands then were Skid Row and Motley Crue...yes let her see the bands, but NO to letting her go in to see Crue without you there, ya know?)
But yeah---there is the talk my mom gave: stay together with friends, don't leave the property where you are supposed to be, and of course the old standby: this is a big deal, and how you handle it will affect the answer to any future events you want to go to.

YES :-) Let her go!!!!! My first concert was NKOTB when I was in 7th grade !! LOL its like a once in a life time chance for her ! She'll have a Blast and be Thankful - maybe be extra nice to mom and dad and help around house :-)
Who are the bands?? I'm just curious :-)

Sounds like a blast, why not go with her?

:)

Definitely let her go with her friends. Make sure she knows where to meet you after. If you're nervous, you can ask her to check in with you via text.

This reminds me of the girl who went with her friends to a concert, went out to use the bathroom (by herself) and got locked out of the venue. She ended up walking home, but got kidnapped on the way home. She was later found.

I read way too many horror stories online!!!

Okay, after saying all that - I would let her go if she is a trustworthy kid. BUT! I would also let her know - she MUST stay with a friend at all times, to use her best judgement, to not go with strangers, etc. With college kids there - and your daughter being so young, she might be enamoured with an older boy, etc. so make sure she knows to stay with her friend(s) and to be alert to possible danger (and bring a cell phone with her).

If it was GOOD music, I'd go with her. If not, sorry kiddo, maybe next year.

I'd take my girls to a lot of concerts if they were all ages shows, and they're 5 and 7. I think concerts are a good experience (unless of course there's mosh pits, smoking, drinking, drug use, etc... hence the ALL AGES SHOWS).

Are there ANY parents going?? Is she paying for her own ticket? If the answer is no to both of those questions, stick to the 'it's a school night' excuse and forget it. Usually there are tons of free concerts during the summer, you can make up for it :)

If she deserves the reward then let her go, but go with her. I took my step daughter to a Brittney Spears concert when she was 12. It was brutal but she loved it. Maybe you can coordinate with other mom’s and see which of her friends are also going. Maybe one of the other mom’s likes the groups and wants to go. College campus, young boys and pretty girls could spell disaster.

I know we have to let our kids go at some point, but 13 is still a little too young, IMO.

When I was 13, my mom surprised me by buying tickets for the both of us to attend one of my most favorite groups. I was ecstatic! It was my first concert and one of my most cherished memories with my mom. The only time she and I separated was when she let me rush the stage. It was awesome!

So, go with her. Enjoy your daughter, her friends and their music together.

I'm assuming a group of friends are going to be with her? Scary, but I'd probably let her go especially since its her favorite bands. It would be best if you went with her, but you probably arent into it, eh?
I'd call there and make sure that 13 is old enough to be their without an adult, they may have rules about the ages.... double check and then ask about security while on the phone... that would make you feel better.

I started going to concerts at 14, and I never got into any trouble. I think you just have to gauge her personality. It's at the local college, so I think it would be pretty safe, at least compared to some of the venues I've been to in my area. And as long as she stays in her big group of friends, I think it would be good for her, especially if you don't let her do a lot normally. But since it is her first concert, buying yourself the extra ticket might be a good idea.
But if you decide not to, just make sure she has a cell phone, or one of her friends do, so she can call you if anything comes up.
:)

I wouldnt drop my 13 y/o off at a college. Go with her. Probably wouldnt let her go to something that starts at 8pm on a school night.

Speaking as a total concert-junkie, for a 1-time treat on a school night to see her favorite bands, I would say you should let her go, but I would definitely buy the extra ticket & hang out there also. I might not be connected to her at the hip or anything, but be around inside the venue with her & her friends. Phones get stolen, people sneak in booze & drugs, fights break out, lots of nasty possibilities that you need to think of & even if it's in the same town as where you live, wouldn't you want to be right there on hand just in case something yucky did go down?

I think 13 is a little young, but if she and her friends are mature they should be able to handle it. And honestly, as scary as it is out there, young teens (especially girls!) need opportunities to be on their own a little bit. Our kids are so coddled and there is so much fear about what COULD happen we aren't giving them a chance to learn from experience (and yes, I have two teens and a preteen.) If you are too nervous to drop her off, or if you feel the scene may be too intense, then get yourself a ticket but hang back. The girls will remember this for the rest of their lives! (and BTW, for the mom who said they've got the rest of their lives to go to concerts, I'm sorry but when you are at that age, it is the most AMAZING feeling to see and hear your favorite bands in person, I would LOVE to give my daughter that experience!)

I think it would be fun for her to go, but I would spend the extra money to go with her. I wouldn't turn her loose on her own with other young girls at 13.
A.

I absolutely think you should go with your daughter and her friends. 13 is too young to be at a venue like that. They will likely be surrounded by party-goers and who knows what could happen? I second the notion to being one of your friends along. You can have a good time while having the peace of mind of having your daughter in your sight.

If you are taking her and picking her up it is much safer.but have you heard this group have you listened to the words? going with your friends is fun but the words that they hear last forever.

I have a 14-year-old boy. I would let her go, but since it's on a college campus I would make sure that at least one adult was present. $30 seems like a small price to pay for security and peace of mind. Besides, is the profit going to a good cause?

I must be old skool or something. There is no way I would let my kid go by herself. Is there no other parent going? I would let her go with a group of friends if a parent was going. Sorry 13 is too young to be with a group of friends and no parent. Read the news and you will agree.

I would say there should be an adult with them, either you or another parent. Also, is their going to be liquor served? If so then DEFINITELY send someone. 13 year old girls unattended at a college campus concert is just BEGGING for trouble. truly, and even if the teens are well behaved- the college kids may not be! (In my college I KNOW unattended teen girls would at least be harassed, if nothing else- unfortunately)

But, I would try to let her go! I was 14 when I went to my first big concert, with my parents and I brought a close freind. I had a blast... and my mom let us go a few rows forward so she could watch us but we didn't have to have "mom" right there! When she is a few years older then sure, let her go it alone, but for her first big concert an adult really should tag along!

Good Luck!
-M.

She'll have a blast! It's part of growing up. Make sure they have a phone and drop them off.

I second the person who said $30 isn't a lot of money for your peace of mind and her safety.

Maybe see if another mother will go with you and the two of you can hang back and let the kids do their thing... but w/ you there to make sure the 'drunk fest' doesn't get your daughter!! :) I think it would be a drunk fest on any college campus...

I think if you want to let her go, you really ought to go in with her :)

Too young to go alone. Get a ticket and go with them. Just make yourself
invisible.

have you been to a concert at a college venue....recently?

I have....went with my 23yo son & niece. Drunk Fest City. This was about 18 months ago.

My sis, her BF, & I also took our 13-14yos to a large venue concert last year. Drunk Fest City again. The young woman next to my son was 22yo & was plastered & tried dancing with my son. OMG! He was in 7th Heaven until I put a stop to it. He is quite proud that one of my photos shows her in the background saluting with her beer bottle. :(

Soooo, please don't just drop her off! Go with her, keep her safe, & have fun. We had a BLAST at both concerts.....

I'd let her go and go also!! There should be at least ONE parental presence involved.

It's a special event so I vote for letting her go. If you can't go with her, have her go with one of her girlfriends and then just plan on dropping them off and picking them up at a designated location at a designated time. I went to my first concert when I was 14 and it was the most fun ever.

I agree that it would be great if your daughter can go since it's two of her favorite bands right there in town (with friends, but with or without you, depending on what seems best to you). Another way to think about this: letting her attend this concert in your own town seems like a relatively safe option for her to do something that's a pretty big deal. If it goes well, she's got amazing memories and the trust between you grows at a critical age. If something doesn't go well (she's near people who are drinking, she's up too late on a school night before a big test, she engages in moderately irresponsible behavior, etc), hopefully the stakes are smaller at this point and she learns from the mistakes in a way that she remains safe and no permanent harm is done. It could be awesome, or it could be a great learning opportunity! Either is great in the long run from a parent's perspective. :)