1 Year Old Not Falling Asleep on Her Own

M.,
I always tell my daughter to read a book. It helps her fall asleep faster, better and sleep longer.

My son had issues where the minute he touched mattress whether he was sound asleep or not he started to scream. And he could go for hours too. What I did was the first night I laid himdown when he was almost asleep and left the room imediately (my cousin says this way works better if you set up a routine before you put them to bed I'm just really bad at routines.) And of course he would cry. After 5 minutes I went in laid him back down comforted him and then left. Not spending more than a few minutes in with him.

Then I waited (thats the hard part). The first night you wait 5 min, then comfort, then wait 10 minutes, the comfort, then wait 15. You do 15 minutes for the rest of the night(until baby falls asleep.) The next night you wait 10, 15, then 20 min. with 20 minutes wait the rest of the night. The third night it's 15, 20, 25. My cousin says everyone she has told this method to hasn't made it past the third night.

The third night for me I went in after 15 minutes and he cried for a little bit but fell asleep before the next wait period was up.

Your little girl may be teething or something so make sure there is nothing disturbing her at night. I know my monster sure is a pain when those pearly whites are coming in.

Good Luck!

Lydia has the exact right approach. She won't fall asleep because she got your roped into rocking her. She may be only 1 but they are very very good at tricking us into things that they want at that age! You've been hoodwinked and didn't even know it. >: )

First you need to stop rocking her. Period, end of story. Second, you need to let her cry it out but not make her feel like she's abandoned by you either so the checking in on her every 15, then 25 and so on is a very good approach. That way you're firm, you're not completely letting her just stand there screaming and crying for hours and hours but I will tell you, they're stubborn! My son knew he would be rocked if he were sick or being fed. So he wanted bottles all the time and would actually pretend to caugh to be held and rocked! They are so smart at that age, I'm tellin ya. So again, be firm. No rocking, do the "go in and check" method for a few days and then if that still isn't working, you may have to move to the just close your door and let her deal for a little while. It may take an hour or 2 but she will be fine. Not a lot of fun for everyone in the house but believe me, you can ask any doctor and they will tell you that after they weigh 14 lbs and are over 3 months old, you can let them cry it out and they are more than capable of falling asleep on their own and sleeping entirely through the night. However, if you let them have their way, of course being rocked is more fun so that's what she wants. You can do it. Good luck M.!

Ditto on the "No Cry Sleep Solution" books. I'm having the same problem with my little one (12 mo), although she was never a great sleeper to begin with. I'm reading the book right now and working on implementing a few things. Unlike other books I've read, and advice I've gotten, this author really makes you feel like everything's normal and you didn't do something wrong. Definitely check it out! :-)

I practice attachment parenting and a therapist said that its easier to fix someont too attached than someone with an attachment disorder.

That said, my son took 45 min to fall asleep until he was 3ish. We layed down with him. Now he usually takes a few minutes.

Children usually outgrow the need for their parents at night. I do not intend to accompany my children to college so they can fall asleep. I'm guessing they won't let me.

That's my philosophy on bedtime issues.

Here are some resources that you might find helpful...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131500.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t110237.asp

Best wishes,
J.

I ditto Lydia. My son would cry sometimes till he threw up!! But I would pat him and we have started a routine. He tells his dad bye, I give him a bath, I lotion him down (kinda like a message)and then I put him down in his bed and he rolls over and goes to sleep. It is very wonderful b/c I time to myself at night!! Trust me it is hard but it paid off. My son has been doing it since he was about 14 months and it is great!!!

If you don't want to rock her and aren't comfortable with crying it out (I'm not either), there is a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution. There's one for babies and for toddlers. It gives lots of strategies for all kinds of sleep issues. Good luck!

I think in our western societies we put SO much emphasis on getting our kids to be independent so early... Sometimes it's hurtful. Some kids can learn to fall asleep on their own, but others need more assistance. Perhaps they are afraid, maybe hurting (teething), maybe they just want a cuddle. I agree with all the posts that said there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy her while you can, because she'll fly out of your nest before you know it! Just follow your heart and don't worry about what others are saying or doing. Every child is different! Good luck and sweet dreams!

There is no such thing as too attached to mom and dad. :) I would just keep rocking her to sleep. She needs that right now. Crying it out seems so...well, I have never been able to do it, it just felt so wrong in my gut. She may be teething a bit or something. For whatever reason, she needs you. I would just respect that for now, and rock her and cuddle her at night. Or lay down with her.

My son is 20 months and I still rock and nurse him to sleep and we lay down with my 3 year old, too. It's just what we feel right doing.

Oh, and yes, E. Pantley's book, The No Cry Sleep Solution, is wonderful, whether you co sleep or not. It's great.